Life is not perfect; well, at least it's not perfect in the way we envision it to be perfect.
What do people think is the perfect life? No problems, no conflicts, no challenges? Everything goes according to our plan (regardless of how that plan may intersect with others)? Plenty of time, plenty of resources?
From the time we learn there are messages of what a perfect life is supposed to look like. Fairy tales present the world in black and white terms; those who present obstacles are always the "evil" ones. Feel good endings have things not only turning out the way the protagonist desires, but even better! The protagonist is always right. We learn to differentiate between work (presented as undesirable) and life (as if work should not be part of living life). And convenience! In the modern age we've come to believe in nearly magical solutions that erase work and difficulties. . .for our gratification.
And life isn't that way.
Life seldom is as simple as black and white. It is complicated. It requires work. Things don't always go our way. We are frequently wrong. There often are not enough resources.
And this is why we have a heart and brain. This is why we have a soul. We are borne to figure things out. We have reasoning so that we can recognize the grey areas. . .and make the most out of them. We have discernment so that we can look at things from multiple angles and figure out what's right and what's wrong. We have work (and play) to seriously nurture ourselves. We have the ability to find and create resources.
And that's the way life is. If our definition of a perfect life is that everything goes right (from our point of view); I would propose that we've missed the point. Life is complicated. And we can find much joy in complexity.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 21, 2020
Friday, February 14, 2020
Drop the Bubble Wrap
I was so intent on being helpful. I needed to get the shipping materials to another department. Scooped up 23 rather large flat boxes under one arm; shoved a rather large roll of bubble wrap under the other and headed off to another building. Managed to navigate my way through a number of obstacles: thank goodness for crash bars and doors that open inward and people who will press an elevator button for you. I had two much in my arms and hands to manage otherwise.
And then I got to the very last hurdle; the "pull" door that requires a badge scan. I had no more resources. I could either stand there, being pathetic until the random individual came along (who I hoped would have a badge) or make the decision to drop the bubble wrap so I could use my badge so I could go forward through that door.
I dropped the bubble wrap. In order to get to my goal, I had to (in this case, temporarily) let something go.
It is a simple point, but sometimes so difficult to do. We convince ourselves that
to be successful in our quest. . .we must hold on to everything.
Sometimes the "everything" we have to hold on to references that specific piece of work. We convince ourselves that everything on the project or concept must be executed as originally thought; that any edit, no matter how judicious, would be a matter of sacrilege.
Maybe the "everything" we hold onto is everything else that is going on. No matter what extra work has come our way, we must continue doing everything we've been doing all along. Only burn-out and disappointment will follow.
Or sometimes we believe we must hold on to the basic tenets of how we've learned to live or work. That every motion, every habit is a necessity - no matter how superfluous it may be or what resources it may ultimately take away from what we are trying to currently achieve.
Editing is helpful. Editing is healthy. Letting go of things enables us to get things done.
Drop the bubblewrap.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And then I got to the very last hurdle; the "pull" door that requires a badge scan. I had no more resources. I could either stand there, being pathetic until the random individual came along (who I hoped would have a badge) or make the decision to drop the bubble wrap so I could use my badge so I could go forward through that door.
I dropped the bubble wrap. In order to get to my goal, I had to (in this case, temporarily) let something go.
It is a simple point, but sometimes so difficult to do. We convince ourselves that
to be successful in our quest. . .we must hold on to everything.
Sometimes the "everything" we have to hold on to references that specific piece of work. We convince ourselves that everything on the project or concept must be executed as originally thought; that any edit, no matter how judicious, would be a matter of sacrilege.
Maybe the "everything" we hold onto is everything else that is going on. No matter what extra work has come our way, we must continue doing everything we've been doing all along. Only burn-out and disappointment will follow.
Or sometimes we believe we must hold on to the basic tenets of how we've learned to live or work. That every motion, every habit is a necessity - no matter how superfluous it may be or what resources it may ultimately take away from what we are trying to currently achieve.
Editing is helpful. Editing is healthy. Letting go of things enables us to get things done.
Drop the bubblewrap.
Like it? Share it!
My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 7, 2020
Selflessness and Self-Care-Fullness
This week I am reminded again of the critical intersection of selflessness and the ability to care for one's self.
I stand on the foundation that leadership is a selfless act - we should relentlessly support and care for others as our privilege and obligation. This cannot, however, be ongoing if we ourselves fail. If we do not take care of ourselves then we are either partially or fully disabled from the higher mission of caring for others.
The ability to take care of ourselves is often more difficult to accomplish than taking care of others. So, a few meditative thoughts. . .
In my case this week. . .I need a little time, maybe just a few hours, to re-center myself and focus on what is ahead. This may be as simple as a long walk. . .or a few moments in Starbucks. . . or a long nap.
At other times, it may require a re-balancing of time spent at work vs. time spent at home. It may mean that it's time to work out. . .or even commit time to the blessings of a good meal.
It could mean a vacation. It could mean a road trip. It may a visit to the doctor or dentist or massage therapist.
"Shaking things up" is always good for the soul.
A conversation with a trusted friend is a significant part of self-care. Time spent in meditation with ourselves and the world around us is a great complement.
Self-Care-Fullness: the ability to center and nurture ourselves so that we are complete. Only then can we truly serve others as leaders.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I stand on the foundation that leadership is a selfless act - we should relentlessly support and care for others as our privilege and obligation. This cannot, however, be ongoing if we ourselves fail. If we do not take care of ourselves then we are either partially or fully disabled from the higher mission of caring for others.
The ability to take care of ourselves is often more difficult to accomplish than taking care of others. So, a few meditative thoughts. . .
In my case this week. . .I need a little time, maybe just a few hours, to re-center myself and focus on what is ahead. This may be as simple as a long walk. . .or a few moments in Starbucks. . . or a long nap.
At other times, it may require a re-balancing of time spent at work vs. time spent at home. It may mean that it's time to work out. . .or even commit time to the blessings of a good meal.
It could mean a vacation. It could mean a road trip. It may a visit to the doctor or dentist or massage therapist.
"Shaking things up" is always good for the soul.
A conversation with a trusted friend is a significant part of self-care. Time spent in meditation with ourselves and the world around us is a great complement.
Self-Care-Fullness: the ability to center and nurture ourselves so that we are complete. Only then can we truly serve others as leaders.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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