The Priority of Likability

"Like" can be perceived as one of those not-so-powerful words.   It is similar to "pretty" and "nice."  Positive, but not passionate.  Truth is, it represents an extremely powerful and effective emotion.

The recent presidential election in the United States demonstrated the power of "like."   Fair or not, the great majority of the populace said they did not "like" either candidate;   chaos ensued.  Imagine, if you will, what a different election it would have been if one or both candidates had been liked.

A leader's creed of "It's not my job to be liked" demonstrates a high degree of confusion between being liked and being able to make tough decisions.     It is a leader's job to be both liked and to be able to make tough decisions.   Certainly not every decision a leader makes will be liked; simultaneous, the leader can still be likable.

Even the tough decisions can be more acceptable to the team if the leader is likable.   Likable leaders often consult with the team, are known for truly caring for their team and have a reputation for rational, fair decisions.

Why is it so important to be liked?   Simply. . .do unto others. . .   Don't you tend to frequent retailers that have team members you really like?    Isn't likability a major decision point in choosing a doctor or dentist?  Don't you work better when you have a capable boss you really like. . .and if you have a boss you don't like, don't you wish you had someone you really could like?

Recently (in fact just last week, when I was writing about "moving on") I made the connection between likability and being compelling - these two things are nearly the same.   One seldom "wins"  when one isn't compelling or likable.   Granted, there are more elements to winning that are also important:  ethical, fair, smart, etc.    But being likable is really the rocket fuel that enables ethical, fair, smart people to get their points across and to be truly successful.

"Like" is, indeed, a very powerful word.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Moving Onward. . .and Being Better

Four years.    It was four years of soul-crushing, mind bending unemployment;   there were moments when I thought it was impossible to go on.  I came to this conclusion:   there is no alternative for me but to move forward and to be better. . .because that's the way I want to live my life.

The results of the this week's presidential election were disappointing to me;   it is tempting to fall into the swamps of hopelessness and anger and self-pity.     But for this. . .and for any difficult situation we face, I would pose this answer of faith. . .there is no alternative but to move forward and to be better. . . because that's the way we want to live our lives.

We care about outcomes.  We are concerned for people.    We desire and work toward a better world.    There is no alternative to this - we must keep moving forward.  So here's the  plan. . .

Be steadfast.

Let your concern make you strategist - not a worrier.

Be willing to negotiate and compromise - obstructionism accomplishes nothing.

Don't hate - hate accomplishes nothing.

If you are angry - let that anger guide you to what you can do.

Be active for justice.   Campaign vigorously and tirelessly.

Look for and propagate the truth.

Organize and network.

Be compelling.

Be consistent and persistent.

Care about all.

Be an evangelist for new and better ways.

Be the absolute best you can be.  Let faith and hope move us forward.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Eleven Elements of a Great Decision

Every single day of our lives we make decisions.    These decisions seldom impact just ourselves; but instead have the ability to contribute to the greater good of the communities that we support and that support us.   Decisions can be simple;   they can be complex.    Here are ten elements that I found help to make great decisions.


1. Facts, people.   Facts.   Seek the truth.  Research the truth.

2, Facts allow us to make good decisions;    by recognizing the human element, by also thinking with our hearts, we are able to make fantastic decisions.

3. Vindictiveness never results in a smart decision;   anger seldom does.

4. Eschew rumor and innuendo.   Approach generalizations of "Everyone says. . ." and "A source tells me. . ." with high levels of distrust.

5. Seek the greater good and the avenues that serve it.

6. Recognize the existent value of the experience of history;    but, also realize that it is your responsibility to lead people to meet the realities of the future.   Move forward.

7. Sometimes a decision of quick reaction is needed to save the day;   but be able to differentiate that reaction vs. a long term strategy.  Be strategic;   think how the pieces may move.

8. Consult others.   Gather points of view and in so doing, start to build consensus.

10. Make a decision - and then walk away without activating it.     Think about it, mull it about - if it still makes sense, then do it.

11. Be principled.   Be ethical.     Be  fair.


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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available on Amazon Kindle.