The Art of Imperfect Leadership

Oh, the mistakes that I have made!  We're not talking about a few. . .we are talking about hundreds. . .thousands . . .okay, maybe hundreds of thousands.  And what would I say was one of the biggest?

Thinking that as a leader I had to be perfect.

If I was alone in this - it would not be worth talking about - but I think that so many leaders, whether in the workplace, a social environment or in the family - believe that they need to be perfect.

Think about it - the idea of leadership perfection isn't even realistic.  You know it.  Your team knows it.   So, if we believe we need to be perfect or, perhaps even worse, present a leadership persona that "cannot be wrong" we are seriously out of contact with reality.

To pretend to be perfect:

• Causes undue personal anxiety (not something we need in our professional lives)
• Makes our team distrustful of our leadership. . .if we have to be perfect, the team knows that the blame for the inevitable leadership mistake will be incorrectly laid at their feet
• Makes our leadership more distant and unapproachable

But, to admit our mistakes, apologize for our wrongs and address our shortcomings. . .makes our leadership more real.  It allows us to be more relaxed;  as opposed to holding up a veneer of perfection, we can honestly own both what we've done wrong and what we've done right.   It makes us more approachable and thus integrates us better with the team.   By demonstrating  that it is better to venture forth and possibly err versus not moving forward, we are showing the leadership we desire.

Perfection associated with self-worth is built into us from the get-go.  The perfect test in school got you an A.  The perfect performance gets raves.   The perfect look gets you lots of compliments.  I would propose, however, that a more mature view of the world not only values the search for achievement, but also allows us to acknowledge, and perhaps even have gratitude for the mistakes and errors along the way.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers,  tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

The "2 to1" Leadership Challenge

Pass it on.  Share this formula for success. . .for a better work experience for both you and your team.  (And, by the way, it also works in your personal life).

It's the "2 to 1" challenge. . .and it's extremely simple.  For every piece of constructive feedback, criticism, improvement advice you give to a team member - give them two pieces of positive feedback for something they are doing really well.

Why?

We become so engaged in process improvement and fixing that which needs to be fixed. . .that often we utterly fail at telling people what it is they are doing well.   Without that positive reinforcement, they may cease doing what it is that you really value;   they may feed that their strengths are not recognized or valued.    If you add praise to your leadership tools, your pathway to the future is paved with the strengths of the team;  you are providing them with a greater focus toward that which you want them to do.

And you will be a better, happier person.

The rules are simple.

1.  Don't fail to give the constructive feedback because (crap!) now you need to think of two positive things to say.

2.  Your positive feedback must be truthful and genuine and of value.   Items like "It's great you showed up for work today" don't count.   "The way you coached Sue regarding the month-end project was better than I could have done" does count. 

3.   Certainly expressions of gratitude do count ("Thank you for rushing in to help Jim with the contract work yesterday).    Snarky gratitude ("Thank you for not wearing that green outfit YET AGAIN") does not count.

4.  Saying "Nice job" under your breath does not count.  Make sure people understand what you specifically appreciate about their work performance.

5.  Public recognition for a job well done does count.

What if you honestly cannot come up with two good things to say?   Then, after some self-evaluation, you probably need to re-evaluate the team member's worth to the enterprise.

And why the "2 to 1" ratio?   Because constructive criticism or negative feedback has such a large impact. . .and often we are extremely passive about the positive - that you need at least a 2 to 1 ratio to balance the two.

Share the idea. . .let's put some focus on the positive and make the workplace better and the team stronger.

My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Effective Meetings? Or Wallowings?

You want to have a good, productive meeting?  Stop wallowing.

Wallowing, in this instance, is the insistence in not only getting into the ugly parts of the business. . . but staying there for three lifetimes with no plan, or evident desire, to get out of the mud.   Wallowing can take on several types of personalities:

The Mud-Slinging Contest.   Someone, in addressing a business challenge, says something just. . .let's say. . . slightly snarky.  Participant on receiving end of the mini-bomb decides that "since you went there"  that the return verbal volley deservedly should be just a little bit more direct and twice as nasty.   At that point, the gloves are off and away everyone goes, picking sides like an old western  bar fight.     Might be entertaining. . .but more likely is damned uncomfortable and only accomplishes the dual feat of not addressing the core issue and alienating the team for days. . if not weeks to come.

Then there's the popular "oh-woe-is-us" type of wallowing.      You can recognize this variety by the copious hand-wringing and the total victimization.   No one has the time to have true ownership of the issue because they are way too busy being martyrs. There is no faith, no hope. . .no strategy and perhaps only the whisper of tactics, if only to assure one's place in martyrdom ("well. . .we tried").

Or, how about - "let's get lost in the details?"   You've seen it - someone pulls out a spreadsheet and magically all participants are  transported into cell d3 and  the seeming relationship to cell ag41.  When people say "the devil is in the details" they are so right.  People often use the details to escape the hard decisions that need to be made.

Here's what you can do:

Simply use your voice to take people back to the main points.   It can be very direct: "Guys, gals - we need to focus on the main issue at hand."    It can be very diplomatic: "You know, I find that interesting as well. . .and maybe it deserves its own meeting. . . but let's get back to the main point that Janine brought up."    It can be comforting: "I know these are all issues of concern - but we need to take care of our business and our associates and we can only do that if we address the issue at hand."

Here's what else you can do:

Refuse to take part in the wallowing.  Don't add to the mud.   Instead, present clarity and focus.  The team will then have productive meetings, you will have earned more respect and ultimately you will have a better workforce.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"   is available on Amazon Kindle for e-readers, tablets and PCs.

Human Sacrifices

Members of ancient (and perhaps not-so-ancient) tribes attempted to appease the gods by sacrificing. . . .well, each other.   "What a barbaric practice" think we.

And yet. . .and yet.

How many times have you seen teams fail, then proceed to pin the blame on one individual?   Oops - that one get tied to a stake anchored in a fiery pit!  How many times have you witnessed an individual not live up to promise, only to point the finger at one of his or her team members?   Oh boy, that one was tossed into the volcano!  If you still aren't convinced look at the way that corporations try to appease Wall Street.  Bad performance?   Hold one individual up for ridicule and then deprive that individual of their professional life.

Barbaric?  Yes.  Does it solve the problem?   No.

A wise individual told me this, "You cannot change what you do not own.". Ownership translates into responsibility.    When we pass the blame, we are abdicating responsibility - and hence have no ownership or determination in our own work lives.

Not having ownership in our own work life robs us of the feeling of accomplishment.  When we don't have responsibility for what we do - we are not, and in fact cannot be, trusted by others.

If we insist on making human sacrifices by blaming others, we are walking away from our own profession.   I think most leaders will agree on this; they would much rather have a team member who takes ownership and responsibility than one who tries to appease the powers that be by blaming others.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Value of Critical Thinking in Leadership

Let's be clear. . .there is a difference between criticism ("Seriously, did you look in the mirror this morning after you got dressed?") and critical thinking, which dictionary.com defines as:

1. disciplined thinking that is clear, rational, open-minded, and informed by evidence

Too often we feel so rushed by time that we fail to question the challenges that are put before us.   So adept are we at quickly solving problems that we may not question:

"Well, everybody says that the system isn't working properly. . ."

"Our department is consistently being given the wrong information."

"The last campaign we ran was an absolute  winner."

These, and thousands of similar statements, deserve a little bit of the leader's critical thinking skills before we start leaping tall buildings.   Prior to rescuing our team from the work-villains of the day, we should be able to answer:

What, truly, are the facts? (And what is the evidence that supports the facts?)

Who said what?  What other issues may be surrounding these team members that would influence their thinking?

What is the larger picture?  You may be asked to solve a tactical issue - but when you start getting the facts and looking at the larger picture, your solution may be more strategic.

Also notice that I threw in a positive example:  "The last campaign we ran was an absolute winner."   It is so important for an organization (and its leaders) to be able to be self-critical.   Time and again I have witnessed teams claim they were successful - because after all, they invested money and time - who wouldn't claim that?     When one looked at the facts, the results. . . .really, not so much.   We need to be critical thinkers not only when faced with challenges, but also when faced with claims of victory.

Why?   Ultimately it is the facts, followed by thoughtful tactics and strategic thought, that not only keep ourselves and our teams safe. . .but make us successful.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.