We are culturally obsessed with the notion of courage. Often, however, it is popular culture that skews our view of what true courage is. It is portrayed as noisy and boastful and full-of-fight. . . and it is not that.
In an onslaught of yelling and shouting and noise. . .courage is often quiet. . .not as acquiescence. . .but instead as a powerful alternative source of genuine wisdom.
While true courage has the ability to stand singularly, individually. . . that ability is nurtured by a world view that is inclusive. In that, courage also has a great ability to collaborate.
Courage is not boastful; it is humble. It promotes, honors and respects others. It often leads by putting others at the forefront.
It is honest.
Courage has the ability to be wrong in the interest of ultimately finding the right answer.
Courage inquires out of genuine interest; the very DNA of courage is vested in learning.
Courage has confidence borne out of that daily education. . .and when the future is uncertain, courage puts one foot in front of the other. . .moving forward with an ease of faith and mission.
Courage trusts. . .and is trusted.
In the tightest of situations. . .courage reacts by breathing.
The goal of true courage is. . .peace.
Friday, December 27, 2019
Friday, November 22, 2019
The Assumer and the Inquisitor
The assumer believes they must have the right answer; the inquisitor is in pursuit of the right answer.
The assumer is afraid of looking less intelligent by asking questions; the inquisitor isn't.
The assumer leaves themselves open by jumping to a conclusion that really isn't true; when the truth comes out, the assumer appears to be (and is, in fact, unreliable).
The inquisitor plays a safer and truer game. They prefer to check with one or two or even three sources until they find the answer that is closer to the truth.
People who ask questions are far more likely to arrive at the truth than those who jump to conclusions.
Those who ask questions are ultimately more likely to be trusted than those who want everyone to believe that they know everything: the latter isn't reality.
Questions challenge us. They lead us to further questions and perhaps a new reality. They allow us to explore and be better. They do not detract, but instead, enrich.
Questions educate us.
They make us smart.
Know-it-alls. . .don't. The curious find out more.
Be an inquisitor.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The assumer is afraid of looking less intelligent by asking questions; the inquisitor isn't.
The assumer leaves themselves open by jumping to a conclusion that really isn't true; when the truth comes out, the assumer appears to be (and is, in fact, unreliable).
The inquisitor plays a safer and truer game. They prefer to check with one or two or even three sources until they find the answer that is closer to the truth.
People who ask questions are far more likely to arrive at the truth than those who jump to conclusions.
Those who ask questions are ultimately more likely to be trusted than those who want everyone to believe that they know everything: the latter isn't reality.
Questions challenge us. They lead us to further questions and perhaps a new reality. They allow us to explore and be better. They do not detract, but instead, enrich.
Questions educate us.
They make us smart.
Know-it-alls. . .don't. The curious find out more.
Be an inquisitor.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 15, 2019
What Are We . . .Really?
I used to be quick-on-the-trigger, answer on a moment's notice. Now I find I'm more productive if I give it a little more time; if I'm more contemplative and multi-dimensional.
My fear was "being wrong." Now I realize the ability to make mistakes is key to better solutions.
My value was based on having the right answers; my value is now based on asking the right questions.
I used to think I was more of a street-fighter - now I find I am more of an analyzer. Definitely more of a stabilizer and persuader.
I used to try to change that which was done - now I move on and correct for the future.
I'm not sure that I gave myself credit for courage; in retrospect, I had more courage than I thought.
In many ways, I'm not what I thought for years that I was. . .and I'm good with that. Really good with that.
I see people who don't think they are that smart, but they are really very smart.
People who don't think they are creative: well, often I find them to be extremely creative - just perhaps not in the traditional ways.
Some claim they are not problem solvers; but give them a challenge and see what emerges.
They may not think they are good leaders; but, watch, people follow them.
Often we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we are, or what we have become.
The potential is limitless.
Really.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
My fear was "being wrong." Now I realize the ability to make mistakes is key to better solutions.
My value was based on having the right answers; my value is now based on asking the right questions.
I used to think I was more of a street-fighter - now I find I am more of an analyzer. Definitely more of a stabilizer and persuader.
I used to try to change that which was done - now I move on and correct for the future.
I'm not sure that I gave myself credit for courage; in retrospect, I had more courage than I thought.
In many ways, I'm not what I thought for years that I was. . .and I'm good with that. Really good with that.
I see people who don't think they are that smart, but they are really very smart.
People who don't think they are creative: well, often I find them to be extremely creative - just perhaps not in the traditional ways.
Some claim they are not problem solvers; but give them a challenge and see what emerges.
They may not think they are good leaders; but, watch, people follow them.
Often we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we are, or what we have become.
The potential is limitless.
Really.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 8, 2019
We Have to Elevate the Conversation
We need to focus on what really matters.
Too often we spend our time and resources swirling around those things that, at the end of the day, really don't matter: these things don't enhance the working environment, they don't build business and they don't enrich lives.
We focus too much on the petty; those conversations that spend the precious resource of time on things like possession. . .and silos. . .and who said what to whom and how that could be misconstrued. Too many resources are spent on trying to putting out the fires of individual conflict without eliminating that which causes it. We spend too much time trying to artificially improve work performance without either getting to the root issues or without inspiration. . .or without both. We try to manage chaos rather than eliminate it. We chase all manners of small initiatives because it's someone's "idea". . .but in the end they are ideas without merit because they don't enrich. We spend too much time trying to placate when instead we should just have an honest conversation. We chase red herrings because it makes it seem like we are busy; but in the process we are missing the real opportunities.
We should not be just another episode of "The Real Housewives" ("I really don't want drama tonight, but. . .)". Work should not be a game of "Survivor."
We need to elevate the conversation.
We need to focus on big ideas that build people and build enterprises.
We need to emphasize and model positive leadership.
We need to be responsive to business and individual needs; not just placate but solve!
We need to be progressive and innovative.
We need to redefine winning from feudal warfare to be truly and inherently great at what we do.
From the inside out we need to recognize the value of each individual contribution.
And we must be collective; recognizing and valuing diversity builds great team.
We need to restore order and clean up chaos.
We need to be honest and work with integrity.
We must elevate the conversation.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Too often we spend our time and resources swirling around those things that, at the end of the day, really don't matter: these things don't enhance the working environment, they don't build business and they don't enrich lives.
We focus too much on the petty; those conversations that spend the precious resource of time on things like possession. . .and silos. . .and who said what to whom and how that could be misconstrued. Too many resources are spent on trying to putting out the fires of individual conflict without eliminating that which causes it. We spend too much time trying to artificially improve work performance without either getting to the root issues or without inspiration. . .or without both. We try to manage chaos rather than eliminate it. We chase all manners of small initiatives because it's someone's "idea". . .but in the end they are ideas without merit because they don't enrich. We spend too much time trying to placate when instead we should just have an honest conversation. We chase red herrings because it makes it seem like we are busy; but in the process we are missing the real opportunities.
We should not be just another episode of "The Real Housewives" ("I really don't want drama tonight, but. . .)". Work should not be a game of "Survivor."
We need to elevate the conversation.
We need to focus on big ideas that build people and build enterprises.
We need to emphasize and model positive leadership.
We need to be responsive to business and individual needs; not just placate but solve!
We need to be progressive and innovative.
We need to redefine winning from feudal warfare to be truly and inherently great at what we do.
From the inside out we need to recognize the value of each individual contribution.
And we must be collective; recognizing and valuing diversity builds great team.
We need to restore order and clean up chaos.
We need to be honest and work with integrity.
We must elevate the conversation.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 1, 2019
The Happiness Thieves
As in life, we should be happy at work.
There are those who are seemingly intent, whether consciously or not, to steal our happiness. How do we recognize the Happiness Thieves?
They are selfish. At the root cause of their actions is that everything must be about them. They create all sorts of negative situations that become self-serving arrows that draw attention to their plights. They get all of the attention at the expense of others and at the expense of the work itself.
They are relentless. It is not a momentary thing - it is a lifestyle dedicated to making others miserable.
There is not rationale. Facts matter little; others' opinions matter less. There is not a healthy, world view; but instead a small view that can succinctly be summed up as "How does all of this effect me?"
They do not listen.
They actively recruit others.
They try to control the narrative.
They are martyrs: "Look how hard I'm working." "I can't work in these conditions." "I'm given way too much work." "I don't understand. . ." Let's remember what martyrs have in common: premature demise.
No amount of parties, luncheons, treats, employee recognition will sway Happiness Thieves; these items are only momentary antidotes.
If Happiness Thieves are put in a position of leadership, they lead from a place of unhappiness and scarcity; we cannot expect the workplace to be happy and productive if the leaders are negative.
We must not let Happiness Thieves prevail. We must lead with a passion and commitment for the work and the team. We must demonstrate by our actions our own positive intentions and outlook on life. As leaders, we must control the narrative.
We must lead with faith, strong intentions and yes, happiness.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
There are those who are seemingly intent, whether consciously or not, to steal our happiness. How do we recognize the Happiness Thieves?
They are selfish. At the root cause of their actions is that everything must be about them. They create all sorts of negative situations that become self-serving arrows that draw attention to their plights. They get all of the attention at the expense of others and at the expense of the work itself.
They are relentless. It is not a momentary thing - it is a lifestyle dedicated to making others miserable.
There is not rationale. Facts matter little; others' opinions matter less. There is not a healthy, world view; but instead a small view that can succinctly be summed up as "How does all of this effect me?"
They do not listen.
They actively recruit others.
They try to control the narrative.
They are martyrs: "Look how hard I'm working." "I can't work in these conditions." "I'm given way too much work." "I don't understand. . ." Let's remember what martyrs have in common: premature demise.
No amount of parties, luncheons, treats, employee recognition will sway Happiness Thieves; these items are only momentary antidotes.
If Happiness Thieves are put in a position of leadership, they lead from a place of unhappiness and scarcity; we cannot expect the workplace to be happy and productive if the leaders are negative.
We must not let Happiness Thieves prevail. We must lead with a passion and commitment for the work and the team. We must demonstrate by our actions our own positive intentions and outlook on life. As leaders, we must control the narrative.
We must lead with faith, strong intentions and yes, happiness.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 25, 2019
You Will Be Given 9 Gifts Today
This is true - you will be given 9 gifts today.
To enumerate those gifts, you will need to recognize them.
It could be that unexpected expression of appreciation to you; or the look of surprise and connection when you unexpectedly thank someone else.
Even though it may not seem like a gift, that person who pops into your office to talk for fifteen minutes (when you have so much to do!), provides an opportunity for relationship building and bonding.
It could be that hallway conversation you overhear that gives you a little more information or an additional insight that enables you to be more effective.
That new person you meet today is a gift.
That moment of solace when someone recognizes it's a tough go.
It could be a new assignment, that even though it seems overwhelming, presents a great opportunity.
You will learn at least three new things today.
It could be an additional perspective on the subject at hand. And even though you may not agree - it adds dimensionality and allows a better end product to emerge.
It is that silent observation of the dynamics between two individuals.
Connecting with another person; sharing experiences, skills, perspectives and common goals.
Anything that makes us laugh is a gift.
This is by no means an exhaustive list - it is a start.
You will be given 9 gifts today. At least.
We only reap the benefits if we recognize these gifts and are, in turn, grateful for what we are given.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
To enumerate those gifts, you will need to recognize them.
It could be that unexpected expression of appreciation to you; or the look of surprise and connection when you unexpectedly thank someone else.
Even though it may not seem like a gift, that person who pops into your office to talk for fifteen minutes (when you have so much to do!), provides an opportunity for relationship building and bonding.
It could be that hallway conversation you overhear that gives you a little more information or an additional insight that enables you to be more effective.
That new person you meet today is a gift.
That moment of solace when someone recognizes it's a tough go.
It could be a new assignment, that even though it seems overwhelming, presents a great opportunity.
You will learn at least three new things today.
It could be an additional perspective on the subject at hand. And even though you may not agree - it adds dimensionality and allows a better end product to emerge.
It is that silent observation of the dynamics between two individuals.
Connecting with another person; sharing experiences, skills, perspectives and common goals.
Anything that makes us laugh is a gift.
This is by no means an exhaustive list - it is a start.
You will be given 9 gifts today. At least.
We only reap the benefits if we recognize these gifts and are, in turn, grateful for what we are given.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 11, 2019
The Unexpected
The flight was delayed. The gate area was filled with passengers anxious to get to their destination. The minutes ticked by. One expects that the airline gate crew would also fall to expectations; keeping their heads down, making necessary announcements and trying to keep everyone calm. On this occasion, the Southwest Airlines gate crew did something out of the ordinary.
They sang.
They sang "Lean on Me."
Was this expected? Did it break the anxiety? You can pretty much figure that out.
The unexpected. The surprising. There's a lot of value in these things. It is human nature to get so locked into the anticipated, which in turn prompts the "same-old" responses. To be able to positively approach things from a new and refreshing angle is a great skill and gift.
So if someone is expecting criticism, thank them instead for what they have done well. If they are expecting a long, drawn out meeting, gamify it or make it short or take a break for ice cream. If someone is expecting a somber tone during a review session - be light and positive. Play jazz. Dim the lights or turn the lights up. Take someone out for coffee or lunch or a walk around. Just do something different that is positive. . .
The unexpected benefits more than the audience. If we challenge ourselves to do the unexpected, all of a sudden we are looking at the issue before us from different dimensions. How can I make this funny? Or more interesting? Or involving? It makes us turn the issues around and see them from different sides - and that is always a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, consistency is a great thing. I'm not suggesting we sacrifice that for a whim. I am suggesting that within our frameworks, we can approach things differently; with a refreshing point of view. We can make a stronger difference.
Sometimes doing the unexpected. . .makes us exceptional.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
They sang.
They sang "Lean on Me."
Was this expected? Did it break the anxiety? You can pretty much figure that out.
The unexpected. The surprising. There's a lot of value in these things. It is human nature to get so locked into the anticipated, which in turn prompts the "same-old" responses. To be able to positively approach things from a new and refreshing angle is a great skill and gift.
So if someone is expecting criticism, thank them instead for what they have done well. If they are expecting a long, drawn out meeting, gamify it or make it short or take a break for ice cream. If someone is expecting a somber tone during a review session - be light and positive. Play jazz. Dim the lights or turn the lights up. Take someone out for coffee or lunch or a walk around. Just do something different that is positive. . .
The unexpected benefits more than the audience. If we challenge ourselves to do the unexpected, all of a sudden we are looking at the issue before us from different dimensions. How can I make this funny? Or more interesting? Or involving? It makes us turn the issues around and see them from different sides - and that is always a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, consistency is a great thing. I'm not suggesting we sacrifice that for a whim. I am suggesting that within our frameworks, we can approach things differently; with a refreshing point of view. We can make a stronger difference.
Sometimes doing the unexpected. . .makes us exceptional.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 4, 2019
Cultural Change Isn't. . .and Is
Cultural change isn't hanging a motivational poster in the breakroom with the expectation of changed behavior.
Cultural change is a change in behavior at the very top of the organization; everyone then follows the leaders.
Cultural change isn't a motto on the bi-monthly newsletter.
It is a consistent topic of discussion and inquiry.
Cultural change isn't bullying people into a new frame of mind.
Cultural change is persistent persuasion.
Cultural change isn't handing out a book with instructions "Everyone please read by next Wednesday."
Cultural change is living the book.
Cultural change should not be a "thought of the moment" on "how our organization can change for the better."
Cultural change should be responsive to the work team, the work place, the competitive nature of the business and the times in which we live.
Cultural change should not be a cult.
Cultural change should be a practical approach to making personal and professional lives better and more productive.
Cultural change is not an event.
Cultural change is an ongoing evolution that is responsive to its congregation.
Cultural change does not happen overnight.
Cultural change is patient, forgiving and ultimately, rewarding.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Cultural change is a change in behavior at the very top of the organization; everyone then follows the leaders.
Cultural change isn't a motto on the bi-monthly newsletter.
It is a consistent topic of discussion and inquiry.
Cultural change isn't bullying people into a new frame of mind.
Cultural change is persistent persuasion.
Cultural change isn't handing out a book with instructions "Everyone please read by next Wednesday."
Cultural change is living the book.
Cultural change should not be a "thought of the moment" on "how our organization can change for the better."
Cultural change should be responsive to the work team, the work place, the competitive nature of the business and the times in which we live.
Cultural change should not be a cult.
Cultural change should be a practical approach to making personal and professional lives better and more productive.
Cultural change is not an event.
Cultural change is an ongoing evolution that is responsive to its congregation.
Cultural change does not happen overnight.
Cultural change is patient, forgiving and ultimately, rewarding.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 27, 2019
When is the Work Ever Done?
The interview question goes something like this: "How do you know when it is time to go home at the end of the day?"
And the eager interviewee will answer: "When all of the work is done."
Really?
I think the answer demonstrates a basic misunderstanding about the purpose of work. In reality, we should probably recognize that the work is never really done.
Let's not confuse "tasks" with "work." We may well complete a task, or several tasks during the day - and that means that specific task is done. It does not mean, however, that everything that we could possibly do is done. The very nature of work is that it goes on. . .even without us. In all likelihood, when the time comes for us to leave a job - the work doesn't end - it just changes the person who is doing the work.
I think this brings us to a fundamental discomfort with work; and that fundamental discomfort is unfortunate. Let's understand that work is purpose. Work sustains life. (Even if we aren't working in a job - it doesn't mean we aren't working. Cleaning the house is work. Buying groceries is work. Even planning a holiday can be considered work). Culturally we are so pressed to "play" that the concept of work becomes undesirable - and generally that's wrong.
What's right is to understand the balance we need between work and play, between professional life and personal life - and to be comfortable in that balance.
The work, much like the play, is always present. The opportunities of both always wait. The work is never really done.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And the eager interviewee will answer: "When all of the work is done."
Really?
I think the answer demonstrates a basic misunderstanding about the purpose of work. In reality, we should probably recognize that the work is never really done.
Let's not confuse "tasks" with "work." We may well complete a task, or several tasks during the day - and that means that specific task is done. It does not mean, however, that everything that we could possibly do is done. The very nature of work is that it goes on. . .even without us. In all likelihood, when the time comes for us to leave a job - the work doesn't end - it just changes the person who is doing the work.
I think this brings us to a fundamental discomfort with work; and that fundamental discomfort is unfortunate. Let's understand that work is purpose. Work sustains life. (Even if we aren't working in a job - it doesn't mean we aren't working. Cleaning the house is work. Buying groceries is work. Even planning a holiday can be considered work). Culturally we are so pressed to "play" that the concept of work becomes undesirable - and generally that's wrong.
What's right is to understand the balance we need between work and play, between professional life and personal life - and to be comfortable in that balance.
The work, much like the play, is always present. The opportunities of both always wait. The work is never really done.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 20, 2019
Be Prepared to Lose a Few
Somehow we confuse being right all of the time and winning every battle as excellence.
It's not.
Our obsession with "all wins and no losses" creates a culture in which we believe we cannot fail; we cannot be wrong. Both of these beliefs are not in the realm of realism.
Every day when we wake up we should acknowledge that we will be the best we can be. That means "putting it out there." And "putting it out there" means that certainly we will make some wrong assumptions, err in judgment and lose a few. If we didn't do these things, we would not be doing our jobs as humans.
The challenge is that we often look at this from one point of view: our own. It is that one dimensional aspect of "how does this impact me?" "What do others think of me now that I've made a mistake/shown I'm vulnerable?"
The other dimensions of this are as follows: if as individuals we are "wrong" and someone else is right. . .and we acknowledge that and move forward. . .then universally we have participated in excellence. We have challenged the status quo, we have played hard, we have contributed. . .and through that process, even though as an individual we may not have had the "right" answer - we enabled the larger sense of ourselves, our team, achieve a better answer.
Often I claim (perhaps with a little bit of pride) that I don't have to have all of the right answers - that I will probably be wrong more often than I am right. I make that claim confident in the knowledge that I play hard, do good work, am skilled at my craft and know what I'm doing. Through that confidence, I also know that as a group we will do excellent work.
Don't let "winning" get in the way of excellence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
It's not.
Our obsession with "all wins and no losses" creates a culture in which we believe we cannot fail; we cannot be wrong. Both of these beliefs are not in the realm of realism.
Every day when we wake up we should acknowledge that we will be the best we can be. That means "putting it out there." And "putting it out there" means that certainly we will make some wrong assumptions, err in judgment and lose a few. If we didn't do these things, we would not be doing our jobs as humans.
The challenge is that we often look at this from one point of view: our own. It is that one dimensional aspect of "how does this impact me?" "What do others think of me now that I've made a mistake/shown I'm vulnerable?"
The other dimensions of this are as follows: if as individuals we are "wrong" and someone else is right. . .and we acknowledge that and move forward. . .then universally we have participated in excellence. We have challenged the status quo, we have played hard, we have contributed. . .and through that process, even though as an individual we may not have had the "right" answer - we enabled the larger sense of ourselves, our team, achieve a better answer.
Often I claim (perhaps with a little bit of pride) that I don't have to have all of the right answers - that I will probably be wrong more often than I am right. I make that claim confident in the knowledge that I play hard, do good work, am skilled at my craft and know what I'm doing. Through that confidence, I also know that as a group we will do excellent work.
Don't let "winning" get in the way of excellence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 13, 2019
What Difference Does It Make?
"What difference does it make?"
Commonly, this question is often interpreted as a "flip" or "cynical" response to a request. In common use, it is usually a negative that impedes progress.
If, however, we take this response out of the arena of being a "non-caring" response to a thought process that is highly inquisitive and positive - we will see the power of the statement. It is a statement that allows us to edit for the good.
Candidly, we get caught up in a lot of points of view, quips and innuendos - and we passionately and vociferously argue one side against the other. At the end of the day, however, truly what difference does it make? Often we spend a whole lot of time "defending" points of view that are either indefensible or insignificant; not only is this a waste of time, it gets in the way of us working with the team to accomplish the bigger picture.
Our actions, thought processes and work conversation should make a difference.
If we use that statement as a barometer; it not only edits out that which is unnecessary but prompts us to do and say that which really will make a difference.
In recent days I've been struck but how little really needs to be said to be impactful. It needs to be thoughtful. . .it needs to be stated well and succinctly. . .and (here is where strong listening comes in) it needs to emotionally connect with the needs and opportunities of both the audience and the work.
That's how to make a difference.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Commonly, this question is often interpreted as a "flip" or "cynical" response to a request. In common use, it is usually a negative that impedes progress.
If, however, we take this response out of the arena of being a "non-caring" response to a thought process that is highly inquisitive and positive - we will see the power of the statement. It is a statement that allows us to edit for the good.
Candidly, we get caught up in a lot of points of view, quips and innuendos - and we passionately and vociferously argue one side against the other. At the end of the day, however, truly what difference does it make? Often we spend a whole lot of time "defending" points of view that are either indefensible or insignificant; not only is this a waste of time, it gets in the way of us working with the team to accomplish the bigger picture.
Our actions, thought processes and work conversation should make a difference.
If we use that statement as a barometer; it not only edits out that which is unnecessary but prompts us to do and say that which really will make a difference.
In recent days I've been struck but how little really needs to be said to be impactful. It needs to be thoughtful. . .it needs to be stated well and succinctly. . .and (here is where strong listening comes in) it needs to emotionally connect with the needs and opportunities of both the audience and the work.
That's how to make a difference.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 6, 2019
What We Tell Ourselves
It's tricky - isn't it?
Sometimes in self-think. . ."me" conversation. . .or meditation - we can find within ourselves the most profound truth that will propel us forward in the most positive of directions.
And. . .sometimes in those quiet moments of "talking" to ourselves - we mis-lead ourselves. "I'm not good enough." "I'm not respected." "Things will never get better." "This is all my fault."
This is the talk of self-doubt; and consequently, it is the talk of self-deception. It is often the wearing of the cloak that perhaps others would (wrongfully) prescribe for us. It is the adoption of cultural so-called norms of being told of what we "should" be. It is leaning in to the lesser side of us - the side that doesn't have faith in that which can we done.
This talk of self-doubt can be injurious on two fronts. We can believe that we are lesser and act as if we are lesser. Conversely, we can believe we are less than we are but then attempt to overcompensate; trying to be something we truly aren't.
The point is, this "self-talk" of "self-doubt" does not serve us well. How, then, do we differentiate between this and those moments of profound personal truth?
We have been given a brain and heart with which to judge. That which serves us well is often organic to us. It knows and embraces our natural talents and instincts. It takes into account that which we know to be true (positive self-talk is a great believer in truth and integrity). It is inherent within us.
And to differentiate - that which is harmful to us is often that which we choose to cut and paste from people who do not wish us the very best.
What we tell ourselves daily is important to our success; more importantly, it is foundational to what we are. If we choose to adopt that which others say, what people say we should be - that foundation is quicksand. If we utilize that which we know to be true within ourselves - it is rock solid.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Sometimes in self-think. . ."me" conversation. . .or meditation - we can find within ourselves the most profound truth that will propel us forward in the most positive of directions.
And. . .sometimes in those quiet moments of "talking" to ourselves - we mis-lead ourselves. "I'm not good enough." "I'm not respected." "Things will never get better." "This is all my fault."
This is the talk of self-doubt; and consequently, it is the talk of self-deception. It is often the wearing of the cloak that perhaps others would (wrongfully) prescribe for us. It is the adoption of cultural so-called norms of being told of what we "should" be. It is leaning in to the lesser side of us - the side that doesn't have faith in that which can we done.
This talk of self-doubt can be injurious on two fronts. We can believe that we are lesser and act as if we are lesser. Conversely, we can believe we are less than we are but then attempt to overcompensate; trying to be something we truly aren't.
The point is, this "self-talk" of "self-doubt" does not serve us well. How, then, do we differentiate between this and those moments of profound personal truth?
We have been given a brain and heart with which to judge. That which serves us well is often organic to us. It knows and embraces our natural talents and instincts. It takes into account that which we know to be true (positive self-talk is a great believer in truth and integrity). It is inherent within us.
And to differentiate - that which is harmful to us is often that which we choose to cut and paste from people who do not wish us the very best.
What we tell ourselves daily is important to our success; more importantly, it is foundational to what we are. If we choose to adopt that which others say, what people say we should be - that foundation is quicksand. If we utilize that which we know to be true within ourselves - it is rock solid.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 30, 2019
Civility
Having observed the workplace for many years, I can say with certainty that the trend at work is toward greater civility.
If only that were true in popular culture; it seems the present cultural norm is to yell, throw out innuendo and call people names.
Why is it important to talk about this? Why is it important to change the dynamic?
Because the lack of civility is toxic. It takes us nowhere.
This week in the news there was a great example of civility and what it accomplishes. A family with an autistic child boarded a United Airlines flight from San Diego to Houston. The child was overstimulated and would not take his seat for take-off. As opposed to kicking the family off the flight, three United flight attendants asked the family how they could help. They came up with a solution whereby the child could sit in his mother's lap, secured by his father, during take-off.
But wait - it doesn't end there. After take-off, the child was still restless. The crew allowed him to rest on the floor because the vibrations from the plane were comforting.
But wait - it doesn't end there. The child kicked a seated, off-duty flight attendant who was across the aisle. As opposed to a dirty scowl, the individual assured the family it was okay - even presenting the mother with a note of encouragement and support as the flight was ending.
And there's more - the child started kicking the seat of a passenger seated in first class. The gentleman, understanding the situation, assured all concerned that it was okay.
I suppose the child's behavior could be construed as disruptive, prompting grumbling and complaints - and everyone would have gotten off the flight in a foul mood. Instead, individuals pulled together as a community, led by the wisdom of the flight attendants - and I bet almost every individual who got off that flight felt good about what had been accomplished.
Community is built through civility.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available through Amazon Kindle.
This week in the news there was a great example of civility and what it accomplishes. A family with an autistic child boarded a United Airlines flight from San Diego to Houston. The child was overstimulated and would not take his seat for take-off. As opposed to kicking the family off the flight, three United flight attendants asked the family how they could help. They came up with a solution whereby the child could sit in his mother's lap, secured by his father, during take-off.
But wait - it doesn't end there. After take-off, the child was still restless. The crew allowed him to rest on the floor because the vibrations from the plane were comforting.
But wait - it doesn't end there. The child kicked a seated, off-duty flight attendant who was across the aisle. As opposed to a dirty scowl, the individual assured the family it was okay - even presenting the mother with a note of encouragement and support as the flight was ending.
And there's more - the child started kicking the seat of a passenger seated in first class. The gentleman, understanding the situation, assured all concerned that it was okay.
I suppose the child's behavior could be construed as disruptive, prompting grumbling and complaints - and everyone would have gotten off the flight in a foul mood. Instead, individuals pulled together as a community, led by the wisdom of the flight attendants - and I bet almost every individual who got off that flight felt good about what had been accomplished.
Community is built through civility.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available through Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 23, 2019
Masters of Distraction
It is an art form. Not a high form of art; instead it is the ability to seemingly release ones' self from accountability by. . .
Pointing over there! "Look, look, look. . . ." let's talk about that, not about the subject at hand.
Or the sly twist of the subject, that takes one item out of the context and attempts to start a new, and often derogatory, dialogue.
Or just ignoring the question at hand and instead bringing up something unrelated that seemingly will cast the person on the spot in a better light.
In a business climate, in the political world, in the best sense of relationships, this is egregious. It is blatantly the inability to accept accountability by diverting attention away from what is important; that which truly requires investigation.
And often we are guilty of letting the perpetrators get away with it. Maybe they are amusing. Maybe they have a certain charisma or charm. And while we may be anxious to resolve the question at hand, we passively endorse their actions by letting them divert us away from what which truly needs attention.
And we then become accessories to the act of distraction; we then shoulder the responsibility for the failure to hold people accountable for their behavior.
I have seen many good people fall prey to this; consequently, strong institutions become weaker. If there is not accountability, ultimately there is not honest action to fix problems and move the enterprise forward.
The antidote. We must be thoughtful. We must be multi-dimensional in our process. And we must rigorously and consistently bring people back to the subject at hand and hold them accountable.
It is fair and it is honest. It is also great business.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Pointing over there! "Look, look, look. . . ." let's talk about that, not about the subject at hand.
Or the sly twist of the subject, that takes one item out of the context and attempts to start a new, and often derogatory, dialogue.
Or just ignoring the question at hand and instead bringing up something unrelated that seemingly will cast the person on the spot in a better light.
In a business climate, in the political world, in the best sense of relationships, this is egregious. It is blatantly the inability to accept accountability by diverting attention away from what is important; that which truly requires investigation.
And often we are guilty of letting the perpetrators get away with it. Maybe they are amusing. Maybe they have a certain charisma or charm. And while we may be anxious to resolve the question at hand, we passively endorse their actions by letting them divert us away from what which truly needs attention.
And we then become accessories to the act of distraction; we then shoulder the responsibility for the failure to hold people accountable for their behavior.
I have seen many good people fall prey to this; consequently, strong institutions become weaker. If there is not accountability, ultimately there is not honest action to fix problems and move the enterprise forward.
The antidote. We must be thoughtful. We must be multi-dimensional in our process. And we must rigorously and consistently bring people back to the subject at hand and hold them accountable.
It is fair and it is honest. It is also great business.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 16, 2019
How to Do Great Work Today
Commute time is thought time. As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about the challenges and opportunities that the day will present.
How will I do great work today?
I will do great work today by being thoughtful about the particularly difficult challenges that I know are in store; I recognize that my first response tendency may not be the best. I recognize that there are often many dimensions to challenging situations. The more dimensions I can address, the more successful the team will be.
I will be open to whatever "newness" presents itself. Consistently there is always some surprise - some new appointment, some new situation. This is part of the work and to do great work, we need to be able to "roll with those punches."
Not only will I prioritize that which impacts the workplace and team the most, I will be open to re-prioritization so that I can address emerging issues.
I will take time for conversations that not only address concerns, but build bonds.
I will give thoughtful, succinct direction that reaps big rewards
I will have courage, be truthful and build trust.
I will take time to rest.
And I will recognize that no one formula addresses all needs of the team, the workplace or the workday, but that organically I will do what seems to be the best.
We all can do great work today.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
How will I do great work today?
I will do great work today by being thoughtful about the particularly difficult challenges that I know are in store; I recognize that my first response tendency may not be the best. I recognize that there are often many dimensions to challenging situations. The more dimensions I can address, the more successful the team will be.
I will be open to whatever "newness" presents itself. Consistently there is always some surprise - some new appointment, some new situation. This is part of the work and to do great work, we need to be able to "roll with those punches."
Not only will I prioritize that which impacts the workplace and team the most, I will be open to re-prioritization so that I can address emerging issues.
I will take time for conversations that not only address concerns, but build bonds.
I will give thoughtful, succinct direction that reaps big rewards
I will have courage, be truthful and build trust.
I will take time to rest.
And I will recognize that no one formula addresses all needs of the team, the workplace or the workday, but that organically I will do what seems to be the best.
We all can do great work today.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 9, 2019
On Making Decisions: Hearing Yourself Talk. . .
How do we make difficult decisions?
Often I find that the answer is within ourselves; it then becomes the "mining" or finding of that foundational information. How, then do we hear ourselves talk? How do we find the truth within ourselves?
I seek my closest friends; those who I know well and who reciprocally know me well. Those people I can confide in. Those people who have the ability to ask me questions that will get me to the truth.
It is when I am in the company of those in which I have such confidence that I find myself speaking what I believe to be the truth. In conversations regarding potentially difficult decisions, those who know us well should be able to ask of us the questions that are most pertinent to our lives; and because these are people we trust, we will answer with that which is at the core of our being.
Find the people you believe in the most; and the people that believe in you. Select those with whom you can be completely yourself; not that which they want you to be. Choose those who both empathize and challenge.
Speak with those who know you in the most complete sense; when you do, you will find that you are speaking that which you know with your heart is true.
And your decision will be strong.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Often I find that the answer is within ourselves; it then becomes the "mining" or finding of that foundational information. How, then do we hear ourselves talk? How do we find the truth within ourselves?
I seek my closest friends; those who I know well and who reciprocally know me well. Those people I can confide in. Those people who have the ability to ask me questions that will get me to the truth.
It is when I am in the company of those in which I have such confidence that I find myself speaking what I believe to be the truth. In conversations regarding potentially difficult decisions, those who know us well should be able to ask of us the questions that are most pertinent to our lives; and because these are people we trust, we will answer with that which is at the core of our being.
Find the people you believe in the most; and the people that believe in you. Select those with whom you can be completely yourself; not that which they want you to be. Choose those who both empathize and challenge.
Speak with those who know you in the most complete sense; when you do, you will find that you are speaking that which you know with your heart is true.
And your decision will be strong.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 2, 2019
The Other Side of the Story
One of the smartest things we can do is to seek the truth.
So, when we are hit with "Everybody says that Suzie is disruptive to the workplace," the smartest thing we can do is to ask the question, "When you say everybody, exactly how many people?"
When we are told "Mark has been difficult to work with since February," we will not accept it as gospel - but instead we will have a conversation with Mark.
When the assumption is that the problem with daily reporting is a broken connection - rather than ride with that baseline - we are going to ask if the problem is really a broken connection.
If two or more people are in conflict - we are going to spend time with each to understand exactly what it is that is going on.
If someone says a process is broken - we are going to sit with that person and ask very specific questions as to why they believe the process is broken. (Is it really the process that is the problem - or is it the lack of adherence to the process that is the problem?)
The baseline is this - there is incredible value in finding the truth. That process, however, often requires that we engage in fact finding within several different dimensions.
If we don't do this - we won't have the full story and are waiting to be victimized when the full story emerges.
If we don't spend the time seeking the truth - we will not gain the trust and respect that we need to lead.
And if we do find the other side of the story, we will be known as truthseekers who are fair and effective.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
So, when we are hit with "Everybody says that Suzie is disruptive to the workplace," the smartest thing we can do is to ask the question, "When you say everybody, exactly how many people?"
When we are told "Mark has been difficult to work with since February," we will not accept it as gospel - but instead we will have a conversation with Mark.
When the assumption is that the problem with daily reporting is a broken connection - rather than ride with that baseline - we are going to ask if the problem is really a broken connection.
If two or more people are in conflict - we are going to spend time with each to understand exactly what it is that is going on.
If someone says a process is broken - we are going to sit with that person and ask very specific questions as to why they believe the process is broken. (Is it really the process that is the problem - or is it the lack of adherence to the process that is the problem?)
The baseline is this - there is incredible value in finding the truth. That process, however, often requires that we engage in fact finding within several different dimensions.
If we don't do this - we won't have the full story and are waiting to be victimized when the full story emerges.
If we don't spend the time seeking the truth - we will not gain the trust and respect that we need to lead.
And if we do find the other side of the story, we will be known as truthseekers who are fair and effective.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 26, 2019
Smaller and Smaller. . .
If the name of the game is influence. . .if the object is to make an impact. . .then we really have to think about how we get there.
If we alienate individuals, or entire groups of people with our actions and words. . .there are less people around us. We get smaller.
If we believe that by "yelling louder" we are more powerful - we are wrong. We are just exercising the vocal power of one vs. many.
It may seem that we become more powerful by surrounding ourselves with those who totally agree with us and cheer us on no matter what - but all we are do is looking in a warped mirror that shows us what we wish to see.
If we persist that ours is the only way. . .and we refuse to listen all else, including factual information, our power gradually wilts and any influence we once had becomes a faded memory. We become smaller and smaller.
But. . .
If we genuinely include others - logically our sphere of influence grows.
If we listen more than we speak, then when we do speak we are better informed and others will listen. . .and our circle expands exponentially.
If our criteria for those who surrounds us includes those who genuinely care, who have a heart for the enterprise and the team. . .those who are smart and have integrity. . .then we become not only a reflection of the world around us but a beacon.
If we are selfless. . .we become bigger.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
If we alienate individuals, or entire groups of people with our actions and words. . .there are less people around us. We get smaller.
If we believe that by "yelling louder" we are more powerful - we are wrong. We are just exercising the vocal power of one vs. many.
It may seem that we become more powerful by surrounding ourselves with those who totally agree with us and cheer us on no matter what - but all we are do is looking in a warped mirror that shows us what we wish to see.
If we persist that ours is the only way. . .and we refuse to listen all else, including factual information, our power gradually wilts and any influence we once had becomes a faded memory. We become smaller and smaller.
But. . .
If we genuinely include others - logically our sphere of influence grows.
If we listen more than we speak, then when we do speak we are better informed and others will listen. . .and our circle expands exponentially.
If our criteria for those who surrounds us includes those who genuinely care, who have a heart for the enterprise and the team. . .those who are smart and have integrity. . .then we become not only a reflection of the world around us but a beacon.
If we are selfless. . .we become bigger.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Friday, July 19, 2019
What Gets in the Way. . .
Amid the ferns on the front walk to our house, we have a decorative water fountain. The sight and sound of the water cheers me as I walk by.
Recently, however, the flow of water greatly diminished. At first we thought we needed to add more water - but to no avail. Eventually, the water flow just stopped and the foremost thought was that the water pump needed replacement. No big deal - we have an extra.
But it wasn't that. . .
This weekend I spent not an inordinate amount of time examining the problem. I took the water pump out and started poking (literally, with a paper clip) around. At the water intake, there was a significant amount of gunk (is there a better word?) that wasn't letting water in - so water couldn't be pumped out. Cleaned it out, plugged it in. . .and it is operating like new. . .once again offering a visual and aural respite.
This happens at work . . and in life. What was once working may not be working as well, or working at all. We are tempted to toss it out for that which is totally new. Sometimes, however, all it takes is a little time of examination. . .a little cleaning out. . .a readjustment. . .a focus on what the real problem is. . .and things are working like new.
It is not only a lesson in how to be effective - it is also a lesson in sustainability; using that which still has resources. If I had just thrown out the old pump - I would have been wasting all of that plastic and metal and electrical cord; only to replace it with a new pump which in all likelihood would have encountered the same problem within months. By using that which was existent, I found a great solution that used no additional resources.
At work if we can utilize that which we have by examining it and making it truly efficient again, we are truly good stewards of that which is given to us.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Recently, however, the flow of water greatly diminished. At first we thought we needed to add more water - but to no avail. Eventually, the water flow just stopped and the foremost thought was that the water pump needed replacement. No big deal - we have an extra.
But it wasn't that. . .
This weekend I spent not an inordinate amount of time examining the problem. I took the water pump out and started poking (literally, with a paper clip) around. At the water intake, there was a significant amount of gunk (is there a better word?) that wasn't letting water in - so water couldn't be pumped out. Cleaned it out, plugged it in. . .and it is operating like new. . .once again offering a visual and aural respite.
This happens at work . . and in life. What was once working may not be working as well, or working at all. We are tempted to toss it out for that which is totally new. Sometimes, however, all it takes is a little time of examination. . .a little cleaning out. . .a readjustment. . .a focus on what the real problem is. . .and things are working like new.
It is not only a lesson in how to be effective - it is also a lesson in sustainability; using that which still has resources. If I had just thrown out the old pump - I would have been wasting all of that plastic and metal and electrical cord; only to replace it with a new pump which in all likelihood would have encountered the same problem within months. By using that which was existent, I found a great solution that used no additional resources.
At work if we can utilize that which we have by examining it and making it truly efficient again, we are truly good stewards of that which is given to us.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 12, 2019
How to Get (In) Your Own Way. . .
It is a big difference: that of getting your way vs that of getting in your own way. So often we may employ tactics that we think will assure victory - but long term, these tactics lose the war.
You may think that the path to getting your way is to be a bully. Don't be a bully. Period. Bullies don't unite, they violate.
If you believe your way is the only way to success, you are running against the way of the world. If what you really want is worthwhile, there are probably several ways (if not hundreds) to get there.
If you believe you can't a mistake, you've just made one. If you perpetuate the myth to others that you are always right - you've just made your second mistake.
Yes you can argue your point. But, argue vigorously and honestly. Don't take the shortcut of self-righteousness and smug sanctimony. If you win by being holier than thou - consider that you are now lesser than the competition.
Even before you start out on the path to success - determine the highest value or level of success. What is the definition? Too often we believe that success involves specific criteria and actions - and then we get lost in the battle of the tactics. Focus on what is really wanted, zero in on the high level strategy.
Be open to others.
Be creative.
Be humble.
Be honest and inspirational.
That's how we really make a lasting difference in the world. And that's what we really want.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
You may think that the path to getting your way is to be a bully. Don't be a bully. Period. Bullies don't unite, they violate.
If you believe your way is the only way to success, you are running against the way of the world. If what you really want is worthwhile, there are probably several ways (if not hundreds) to get there.
If you believe you can't a mistake, you've just made one. If you perpetuate the myth to others that you are always right - you've just made your second mistake.
Yes you can argue your point. But, argue vigorously and honestly. Don't take the shortcut of self-righteousness and smug sanctimony. If you win by being holier than thou - consider that you are now lesser than the competition.
Even before you start out on the path to success - determine the highest value or level of success. What is the definition? Too often we believe that success involves specific criteria and actions - and then we get lost in the battle of the tactics. Focus on what is really wanted, zero in on the high level strategy.
Be open to others.
Be creative.
Be humble.
Be honest and inspirational.
That's how we really make a lasting difference in the world. And that's what we really want.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 28, 2019
An Uneven Playing Field
We've probably all experienced this on a micro and macro level. We are trying to play our very best game: we are being fair, truthful and candid, conciliatory and collaborative. Our goal is to be the best people we can be and through that process, produce the best workplaces and product for the long-term.
And then someone comes along, very 1980's greed-is-good-and-winning-justifies-anything,and just blows it up by being nasty or messy or untruthful. . .they are playing their own game and it doesn't match our own.
So, we have an uneven playing field. A segment, or even most of the workplace may be trying to do what is right - but there is that one lone wolf who isn't playing by what is right and ethical.
It is challenging to do what is right. . .when co-workers aren't playing by the same rules - or, for that matter, playing by any rules at all. Truth is - it isn't fair. And we can bemoan the inequity of it, but it is what it is. Here is what we must guard against: strong workplaces get dragged down by those who don't play by the rules, who have no regard for others. And how workplaces get dragged down is if we abandon what we believe is right by lowering ourselves to the renegade's level and try to beat them at their own game.
Here's what we must do: stay the course. Do what's right. Play by the rules. If we don't, ultimately chaos will prevail. While it may seem that those who don't have any regard are winning - it is a short-term victory - we must have faith that what we are doing is right and good and will ultimately prevail - because it will.
One other note: leaders of workplaces own the responsibility to make the playing field as level as possible. The only people who can bring lone wolves and renegades into line (or exit them from the workplace) are those who sign the paychecks.
Consistently we must work for a better workplace. . .a better world. Even if there are those who are not playing by the rules and the playing field is (temporarily) uneven - we must persist. This, also, is part of the work we do.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And then someone comes along, very 1980's greed-is-good-and-winning-justifies-anything,and just blows it up by being nasty or messy or untruthful. . .they are playing their own game and it doesn't match our own.
So, we have an uneven playing field. A segment, or even most of the workplace may be trying to do what is right - but there is that one lone wolf who isn't playing by what is right and ethical.
It is challenging to do what is right. . .when co-workers aren't playing by the same rules - or, for that matter, playing by any rules at all. Truth is - it isn't fair. And we can bemoan the inequity of it, but it is what it is. Here is what we must guard against: strong workplaces get dragged down by those who don't play by the rules, who have no regard for others. And how workplaces get dragged down is if we abandon what we believe is right by lowering ourselves to the renegade's level and try to beat them at their own game.
Here's what we must do: stay the course. Do what's right. Play by the rules. If we don't, ultimately chaos will prevail. While it may seem that those who don't have any regard are winning - it is a short-term victory - we must have faith that what we are doing is right and good and will ultimately prevail - because it will.
One other note: leaders of workplaces own the responsibility to make the playing field as level as possible. The only people who can bring lone wolves and renegades into line (or exit them from the workplace) are those who sign the paychecks.
Consistently we must work for a better workplace. . .a better world. Even if there are those who are not playing by the rules and the playing field is (temporarily) uneven - we must persist. This, also, is part of the work we do.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 21, 2019
One Way Street to a Dead End
If life is a highway, there are those who think that it should be a one way street. The thought is that there is only way to achieve a goal. That there is only one way to think. That there is only one way to be.
Life, however, is much more than that. What makes life is that it is full of options.
Timing comes to my mind. If I have a goal, does it have to be done right now? Or, if I'm in the middle of achieving a goal, is it okay if I take a diversion? Or, if I change my approach, can I get to my goal sooner than expected?
Methodology. Do I have the belief (and is it warranted?) that I have to do this all by myself? Are there others that can/should help? If I seem to be getting stuck, what other approaches can I take to get "unstuck?"
People. Who is important? Is my current roster of friends/business associates/acquaintances what I desire? If not, how do I find the right people?
Am I in the right job? If I am in the right job - what's next? If I'm not in the right job - am I in the right career? Where do I find work that I love?
Often "one way," without options, leads to a dead end. If we recognize, and embrace, that there are other ways and options, we will live abundant lives.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Life, however, is much more than that. What makes life is that it is full of options.
Timing comes to my mind. If I have a goal, does it have to be done right now? Or, if I'm in the middle of achieving a goal, is it okay if I take a diversion? Or, if I change my approach, can I get to my goal sooner than expected?
Methodology. Do I have the belief (and is it warranted?) that I have to do this all by myself? Are there others that can/should help? If I seem to be getting stuck, what other approaches can I take to get "unstuck?"
People. Who is important? Is my current roster of friends/business associates/acquaintances what I desire? If not, how do I find the right people?
Am I in the right job? If I am in the right job - what's next? If I'm not in the right job - am I in the right career? Where do I find work that I love?
Often "one way," without options, leads to a dead end. If we recognize, and embrace, that there are other ways and options, we will live abundant lives.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 14, 2019
Dead Crow in the Middle of the Road
I spotted it while driving to work this morning; there was a dead crow in the middle of the road.
Based on experience, I know what happened. Too often I need to slow down to avoid hitting a foul that is singularly focused on whatever the food source may be in the center of the asphalt. They seem completely oblivious to all of the cars going in all directions. They barely get out of the way of destruction. . .sometimes. It is hard, however, because they are focused on just one thing.
I suspect the same dynamic comes into play with individuals who are so focused on just one facet that they cannot see, or will not recognize whatever danger comes their way. In fact, the danger is that singular focus.
When we become so obsessed with something or someone. . .so righteously devoted to a singular concept. . .we are then unable to recognize whatever danger may be headed our way. That danger, when revealed, will minimally throw us off-center and disorient us; at the extreme, it will threaten our existence. We are convinced that whatever our singular pursuit is will be worth the risk.
Until it isn't; until it's too late.
The political parallel was in this week's news. A "person-on-the-street" was interviewed about the candidate to whom they were fully and singularly committed. When presented with the case that said politician regularly ignores the truth and lies, the individual said it didn't matter, she would vote for the individual anyway. They obviously thought it was worth the risk; until it isn't. Until it's too late.
What I love about life is the diversity that surrounds us. It is those options, those multitudes of opportunities that afford us not only safety, but an abundant existence. If we become obsessed with just one entity - we lose that. If we embrace many facets, if we recognize and are good stewards of the resources available to us, we will have good lives.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Based on experience, I know what happened. Too often I need to slow down to avoid hitting a foul that is singularly focused on whatever the food source may be in the center of the asphalt. They seem completely oblivious to all of the cars going in all directions. They barely get out of the way of destruction. . .sometimes. It is hard, however, because they are focused on just one thing.
I suspect the same dynamic comes into play with individuals who are so focused on just one facet that they cannot see, or will not recognize whatever danger comes their way. In fact, the danger is that singular focus.
When we become so obsessed with something or someone. . .so righteously devoted to a singular concept. . .we are then unable to recognize whatever danger may be headed our way. That danger, when revealed, will minimally throw us off-center and disorient us; at the extreme, it will threaten our existence. We are convinced that whatever our singular pursuit is will be worth the risk.
Until it isn't; until it's too late.
The political parallel was in this week's news. A "person-on-the-street" was interviewed about the candidate to whom they were fully and singularly committed. When presented with the case that said politician regularly ignores the truth and lies, the individual said it didn't matter, she would vote for the individual anyway. They obviously thought it was worth the risk; until it isn't. Until it's too late.
What I love about life is the diversity that surrounds us. It is those options, those multitudes of opportunities that afford us not only safety, but an abundant existence. If we become obsessed with just one entity - we lose that. If we embrace many facets, if we recognize and are good stewards of the resources available to us, we will have good lives.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 7, 2019
The Sanctity of Your Story
We all have stories; they are one of our greatest resources. The stories of how we got to where we are today. The stories of lessons learned and challenges overcome. The stories of why we are who we are and why we do what we do.
These stories are far beyond narratives; they are culture. They are our soul.
They are us.
And there are those who wish to subjugate our stories. For no rational reason they wish to change or twist that which is so innately us. This is often done through innuendo or gossip or lies. Make no mistake - the intent is not pure. They wish to change our stories to suit their own needs.
We cannot let that happen.
Workplaces, companies, enterprises, families and teams also have their own stories, their own souls. And again there are those, often within those entities (and also outside of those entities) who actively work to take control the narrative and distort it to suit their own needs.
We cannot let that happen.
Our stories, the "who" and "how" and "why" are sacred; if individuals start altering these we lose our mission and soul. So we must constantly be vigilant that our stories, both individual and collective, are heard and received. And we must be persistently corrective if someone tries to twist the truth.
Because our truth is our story; the very embodiment of who we are.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
These stories are far beyond narratives; they are culture. They are our soul.
They are us.
And there are those who wish to subjugate our stories. For no rational reason they wish to change or twist that which is so innately us. This is often done through innuendo or gossip or lies. Make no mistake - the intent is not pure. They wish to change our stories to suit their own needs.
We cannot let that happen.
Workplaces, companies, enterprises, families and teams also have their own stories, their own souls. And again there are those, often within those entities (and also outside of those entities) who actively work to take control the narrative and distort it to suit their own needs.
We cannot let that happen.
Our stories, the "who" and "how" and "why" are sacred; if individuals start altering these we lose our mission and soul. So we must constantly be vigilant that our stories, both individual and collective, are heard and received. And we must be persistently corrective if someone tries to twist the truth.
Because our truth is our story; the very embodiment of who we are.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 31, 2019
A Fine Whine: A Fine Line
Always. . .we need to utilize judgment.
It is core to my foundational leadership beliefs that we spend time in conversation with those we have a privilege of working with. These conversations, if constructive, form strong professional relationships, should lead to greater inquiry and enable us to fortify our endeavors.
If constructive.
There are times when these conversations need to be cathartic - when we can just let it all hang out there and say what is on our minds. Even this can be constructive - leading to a greater understanding and solution building.
And then there is the extreme, when the conversation is just whiny. . .and subsequent discussions are equally whiny: as opposed to a conversation, it just becomes a compendium of complaints that somehow you, as the listener, are supposed to solve. Or, the complainer wishes that the world and work are not as they are and they want to both to change to meet their whims.
Which is not happening.
Meanwhile, this is taking your time. . .and let's not forget, taking your energy as well. And if the complainer has no ownership, there is no ROI in the conversation.
It is a fine line, this - the ability to listen and work for betterment can also become a colossal waste if whining becomes the order of the day. Complaint for complaint's sake does not make the workplace better. If it comes to this, you have options:
Limit the time you spend with the individual. "I'm sorry, I only have five minutes before I have to attend my Monday meeting." "Is it possible to talk later? I need to finish this report I'm working on?" "Could we revisit this when we are scheduled to get together next week?" In other words, put structure around it.
Hold individuals accountable: "You know - you cannot change what you do not own - so what are you going to do about this?" In subsequent conversations, if the issue comes up again - ask them if they have implemented their course of action. Ask questions and encourage the exploration of options.
If the individual is chafing against company policy - be very clear and firm that these issues are not going to change. One of the tools that you have available to you should be used sparingly - but it can be used - shut down the conversation.
Constructive: you cannot change what you do not own. Often the temptation is to regard whiny conversations as something we do not own and we have to endure. Truth is - we do own them and we must feel enabled to change the nature of discourse for the positive.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
It is core to my foundational leadership beliefs that we spend time in conversation with those we have a privilege of working with. These conversations, if constructive, form strong professional relationships, should lead to greater inquiry and enable us to fortify our endeavors.
If constructive.
There are times when these conversations need to be cathartic - when we can just let it all hang out there and say what is on our minds. Even this can be constructive - leading to a greater understanding and solution building.
And then there is the extreme, when the conversation is just whiny. . .and subsequent discussions are equally whiny: as opposed to a conversation, it just becomes a compendium of complaints that somehow you, as the listener, are supposed to solve. Or, the complainer wishes that the world and work are not as they are and they want to both to change to meet their whims.
Which is not happening.
Meanwhile, this is taking your time. . .and let's not forget, taking your energy as well. And if the complainer has no ownership, there is no ROI in the conversation.
It is a fine line, this - the ability to listen and work for betterment can also become a colossal waste if whining becomes the order of the day. Complaint for complaint's sake does not make the workplace better. If it comes to this, you have options:
Limit the time you spend with the individual. "I'm sorry, I only have five minutes before I have to attend my Monday meeting." "Is it possible to talk later? I need to finish this report I'm working on?" "Could we revisit this when we are scheduled to get together next week?" In other words, put structure around it.
Hold individuals accountable: "You know - you cannot change what you do not own - so what are you going to do about this?" In subsequent conversations, if the issue comes up again - ask them if they have implemented their course of action. Ask questions and encourage the exploration of options.
If the individual is chafing against company policy - be very clear and firm that these issues are not going to change. One of the tools that you have available to you should be used sparingly - but it can be used - shut down the conversation.
Constructive: you cannot change what you do not own. Often the temptation is to regard whiny conversations as something we do not own and we have to endure. Truth is - we do own them and we must feel enabled to change the nature of discourse for the positive.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 24, 2019
The Drama of ME
It took decades before I figured out the motivation. In my mother's life if there wasn't a conflict, she would generate one. If she didn't have an enemy, she would create one. From a health perspective, there was always some complaint.
All of these things were arrows. Their commonality? All of the arrows pointed directly at her. The greater the controversy she could create equaled the amount of attention she got. She didn't care that it was negative attention. And truth be told, she really didn't care who she upended or hurt along the way. She couldn't. It would have taken the focus off of her.
We witness this type of behavior often. Whether it is the national political scene or some Real Housewife drama. . .or that person at work. . .we see individuals stirrin' up stuff with the sole purpose of keeping themselves in the spotlight.
It is the drama of ME!
These narcissists hijack whatever positive narrative there is or should be. They do not perceive collaboration to be in their best interest because, you see, this would allow others to momentarily bask in the limelight.
The truth that the world is about a collective, not one individual, does not serve the narcissist well. Since they are at odds with the truth, they lie. They create their own stories or hijack the narrative to assure that they are not only recognized, but that they are the sole recipient of everyone's attention.
Why is this dangerous? Because no matter what enterprise we are engaged in - we are not there to serve the needs of one person. If a narcissist is hijacking the narrative - that becomes exactly what we are doing and the mission of the enterprise and everyone's attention to it are lost.
So what should we do? It is somewhat of a Catch 22 - because if we actively combat - we are doing exactly what these self-centered individuals wish by focusing attention on them. So here are the antidotes:
The world and the work is not about one person. It should never be "The Drama of ME," but instead it should be "The Importance and Work of US."
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
All of these things were arrows. Their commonality? All of the arrows pointed directly at her. The greater the controversy she could create equaled the amount of attention she got. She didn't care that it was negative attention. And truth be told, she really didn't care who she upended or hurt along the way. She couldn't. It would have taken the focus off of her.
We witness this type of behavior often. Whether it is the national political scene or some Real Housewife drama. . .or that person at work. . .we see individuals stirrin' up stuff with the sole purpose of keeping themselves in the spotlight.
It is the drama of ME!
These narcissists hijack whatever positive narrative there is or should be. They do not perceive collaboration to be in their best interest because, you see, this would allow others to momentarily bask in the limelight.
The truth that the world is about a collective, not one individual, does not serve the narcissist well. Since they are at odds with the truth, they lie. They create their own stories or hijack the narrative to assure that they are not only recognized, but that they are the sole recipient of everyone's attention.
Why is this dangerous? Because no matter what enterprise we are engaged in - we are not there to serve the needs of one person. If a narcissist is hijacking the narrative - that becomes exactly what we are doing and the mission of the enterprise and everyone's attention to it are lost.
So what should we do? It is somewhat of a Catch 22 - because if we actively combat - we are doing exactly what these self-centered individuals wish by focusing attention on them. So here are the antidotes:
- Continue to be universally aware and responsive to the needs and opportunities that present themselves daily. In other words, act upon the fact that our world is made up of many individuals who are truly deserving of attention for legitimate reasons.
- Pay attention to other people; in fact, over-index on paying attention to other people.
- Don't let someone hijack your story or make it about themselves. Assure that as many people as possible understand the facts and the appeal of your story.
- Hold the narcissist responsible by revoking their privilege: whether that means not paying attention, administering positive corrective action or even exiting them from their position - get this individual in-line or get them out. They are toxic.
The world and the work is not about one person. It should never be "The Drama of ME," but instead it should be "The Importance and Work of US."
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 17, 2019
Better Never Stops (?????)
That's what the slogan on the billboard says. "Better never stops."
How very, very 1980's. Interpreted as "Go-go-go-keep-going-go-some-more, just don't stop." There are companion words: never-ending pursuit, relentless. . .and in the extreme - spent, exhausted.
And there are antidote words: "balanced," "rest," "thoughtfulness," "consideration."
You see, I'm of the belief that "better" does indeed stop.
"Better" rests so that it can continue to be better. There is a basic function of biology here - people who work out know this and embrace it. You work hard. . .and then your "better" needs to rest - it needs nourishment - it needs time to assimilate the gains that have been made. The same is true in the rest of life - our minds and bodies cannot continue to go on at one unprecedented rate. We need time to recharge.
"Better" takes time to be thoughtful. If the mode of operation is just go-go-go - an accident will occur because we are not taking time to recognize what is happening around us. How is the world changing while we are in motion? How are our actions impacting those around us? If we are having a positive impact - how do we improve our actions to have an even better impact?
"Better" is balanced. It is periods of work and periods of rest. It is focused thought combined with the ability to consider alternatives and different points of view. It is the understanding that to consistently be at our best we must be multi-dimensional.
Truly "better" does stop - that's what enables it to be excellent.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
How very, very 1980's. Interpreted as "Go-go-go-keep-going-go-some-more, just don't stop." There are companion words: never-ending pursuit, relentless. . .and in the extreme - spent, exhausted.
And there are antidote words: "balanced," "rest," "thoughtfulness," "consideration."
You see, I'm of the belief that "better" does indeed stop.
"Better" rests so that it can continue to be better. There is a basic function of biology here - people who work out know this and embrace it. You work hard. . .and then your "better" needs to rest - it needs nourishment - it needs time to assimilate the gains that have been made. The same is true in the rest of life - our minds and bodies cannot continue to go on at one unprecedented rate. We need time to recharge.
"Better" takes time to be thoughtful. If the mode of operation is just go-go-go - an accident will occur because we are not taking time to recognize what is happening around us. How is the world changing while we are in motion? How are our actions impacting those around us? If we are having a positive impact - how do we improve our actions to have an even better impact?
"Better" is balanced. It is periods of work and periods of rest. It is focused thought combined with the ability to consider alternatives and different points of view. It is the understanding that to consistently be at our best we must be multi-dimensional.
Truly "better" does stop - that's what enables it to be excellent.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 10, 2019
Pushed Around
There are bosses who are seemingly impervious; the perception is that they don't care what anyone thinks or feels. They are unapproachable; team members consequently wouldn't even think about talking to this individual about their workplace concerns.
And then there are leaders who truly care about the workplace and the members of their teams. They make it clear that they have an open door and that they are willing to listen. In certain instances, these people are taken advantage of. Team members will absolve themselves of any personal responsibility and leave it to the leader to solve everything. The leader spends endless hours listening to endless whining; the leader at this point cannot do anything right because the team members expects the leader to solve all the problems of the world and that obviously isn't happening.
In other words, the well-intended leader is pushed around.
So, how do we work this balance of listening and caring without being taken advantage of? Some thoughts:
How strong is our core? Are we certain of what we believe in? Do those beliefs radiate; do they communicate themselves through not only our communication but also our actions? This is very important because team members trust leaders with these qualities; team members will try to emulate these leaders, not push them around.
Has our business focus been made clear to all? Are team members aware of our daily and long-term expectations? Professional focus transcends a whole lot of pettiness, provided. . .
Is everyone on board? Have they bought in? Are they following the direction the leader is leading? This is what makes entities hum if not sing. . .the harmony brought about by a strongly believed common purpose.
The term "servant leader" is bandied about often. As leaders we are definitely here to support, grow, nurture and enable our teams to do their best. We should be always present to listen and support. If we are pushed around, we are disabled from supporting our teams and creating focus; we become quicksand. But, if we personally and professionally exhibit a strong foundation and belief structure that supports the workforce, we truly lead.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And then there are leaders who truly care about the workplace and the members of their teams. They make it clear that they have an open door and that they are willing to listen. In certain instances, these people are taken advantage of. Team members will absolve themselves of any personal responsibility and leave it to the leader to solve everything. The leader spends endless hours listening to endless whining; the leader at this point cannot do anything right because the team members expects the leader to solve all the problems of the world and that obviously isn't happening.
In other words, the well-intended leader is pushed around.
So, how do we work this balance of listening and caring without being taken advantage of? Some thoughts:
How strong is our core? Are we certain of what we believe in? Do those beliefs radiate; do they communicate themselves through not only our communication but also our actions? This is very important because team members trust leaders with these qualities; team members will try to emulate these leaders, not push them around.
Has our business focus been made clear to all? Are team members aware of our daily and long-term expectations? Professional focus transcends a whole lot of pettiness, provided. . .
Is everyone on board? Have they bought in? Are they following the direction the leader is leading? This is what makes entities hum if not sing. . .the harmony brought about by a strongly believed common purpose.
The term "servant leader" is bandied about often. As leaders we are definitely here to support, grow, nurture and enable our teams to do their best. We should be always present to listen and support. If we are pushed around, we are disabled from supporting our teams and creating focus; we become quicksand. But, if we personally and professionally exhibit a strong foundation and belief structure that supports the workforce, we truly lead.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 3, 2019
8 Questions That Could Change Your Day
Eight questions for today - and most days:
What is the definition of things that really matter; what really is going to make a difference?
In the grand scheme of things, does what I am going to spend time on really matter?
If so - how?
How do I re-arrange my priorities so that my team and I am focused on what really matters and makes a difference?
How do I communicate to my team that their focus on priorities is equally as important as my own?
Can I differentiate between a "mess of tactics" vs actions that contribute to the building of an overall strategy?
If so - how can I teach my team to do the same?
If we are intensely focused on what really matters, does that intensity also accommodate time for celebrations and the building of relationships along the way?
And that is about as succinct as I can make it.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
What is the definition of things that really matter; what really is going to make a difference?
In the grand scheme of things, does what I am going to spend time on really matter?
If so - how?
How do I re-arrange my priorities so that my team and I am focused on what really matters and makes a difference?
How do I communicate to my team that their focus on priorities is equally as important as my own?
Can I differentiate between a "mess of tactics" vs actions that contribute to the building of an overall strategy?
If so - how can I teach my team to do the same?
If we are intensely focused on what really matters, does that intensity also accommodate time for celebrations and the building of relationships along the way?
And that is about as succinct as I can make it.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 26, 2019
Strong Voices vs. Overpowering Voices
Remembering an instance in leadership training from way back when. The facilitator assigned a group of us the simplest of tasks - something akin to attaching 50 drinking straws together to form a straight line. Easy, right?
The catch was this - while the group was trying to organize itself and accomplish the task, the leader started yelling directions at us and verbosely offering critiques. The people within the group who, as leaders and followers, were intent on accomplishing the task were quickly frustrated by this big, overpowering voice that, even if well-intended, was hampering progress.
I think of this often because it often happens in the workplace. We tend to confuse the voice of leadership with the voice of a know-it-all or the voice of someone who always has to have their way or the voice of someone who takes it upon themselves to be critical of every little or large move. These are not the voices of leadership - they are the voices of disruption.
Strong voices in the workplace do these things. They set goals, often with collaboration. They share the conversation as opposed to dominating the conversation. They both edit with suggestions and encourage. Strong voices both complement and support.
People want to follow strong voices.
But it's more than the verbal; it is also the intent. The intent, or the core of what is said must be pure. This means it's not jealous, or self-aggrandizing or is complicit with ulterior motives. The voice must be there for the good of the work - the good of the team.
All too often we accept that those with the most dominating and domineering presence have a strong voice. Simply put, domineering voices are not voices of leadership. Voices of leadership present a compelling vision and guide teams to a pathway of success for all.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The catch was this - while the group was trying to organize itself and accomplish the task, the leader started yelling directions at us and verbosely offering critiques. The people within the group who, as leaders and followers, were intent on accomplishing the task were quickly frustrated by this big, overpowering voice that, even if well-intended, was hampering progress.
I think of this often because it often happens in the workplace. We tend to confuse the voice of leadership with the voice of a know-it-all or the voice of someone who always has to have their way or the voice of someone who takes it upon themselves to be critical of every little or large move. These are not the voices of leadership - they are the voices of disruption.
Strong voices in the workplace do these things. They set goals, often with collaboration. They share the conversation as opposed to dominating the conversation. They both edit with suggestions and encourage. Strong voices both complement and support.
People want to follow strong voices.
But it's more than the verbal; it is also the intent. The intent, or the core of what is said must be pure. This means it's not jealous, or self-aggrandizing or is complicit with ulterior motives. The voice must be there for the good of the work - the good of the team.
All too often we accept that those with the most dominating and domineering presence have a strong voice. Simply put, domineering voices are not voices of leadership. Voices of leadership present a compelling vision and guide teams to a pathway of success for all.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 19, 2019
As the River Flows. . .
Having observed business first hand for several decades, I've come to an appreciation for a factor that very few talk about: the power of fluidity.
Fluidity is the ability to keep things moving. To not get stuck. To have a great flow of product, information and ideas.
And let's face it - there are a lot of factors in the workplace that get us stuck. Office politics. Silos. Egos. Okay. . .laziness. Inability to resolve issues and conflict. All of these factors, and more, stop work - they stop us from growing the business - they disable us from moving forward.
The best analogy for the power of fluidity in the workplace is the power (and beauty) of fluidity in nature. Whether it be a small stream or a mighty river, there is something both magnificent and calming about the fluidity of water. Rivers start at a source (an idea) and they flow to a outlet (a conclusion) that ultimately feeds something bigger. Along the way, rivers provide purpose: habitats, sources of power, recreation and nurturing.
But, if something stops that flow, then progress also stops. Safe habitats dry up, power dissipates, there isn't any recreation or nurturing. And the same things happen when we lose fluidity (whether in a production environment, communication environment or creative environment) at work. What was once fertile and productive becomes frustrating.
We know this to be true: a great day at work and in life is when obstacles are at a minimum and things are moving forward as they should. And even if obstacles arise, we should resolve to embrace the collective talents and tools to resolve things quickly to get everything back on track.
Let's think about the positive power of fluidity in our lives and in our work. The ability to keep things moving, like the power of a river, is a majestic force.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Fluidity is the ability to keep things moving. To not get stuck. To have a great flow of product, information and ideas.
And let's face it - there are a lot of factors in the workplace that get us stuck. Office politics. Silos. Egos. Okay. . .laziness. Inability to resolve issues and conflict. All of these factors, and more, stop work - they stop us from growing the business - they disable us from moving forward.
The best analogy for the power of fluidity in the workplace is the power (and beauty) of fluidity in nature. Whether it be a small stream or a mighty river, there is something both magnificent and calming about the fluidity of water. Rivers start at a source (an idea) and they flow to a outlet (a conclusion) that ultimately feeds something bigger. Along the way, rivers provide purpose: habitats, sources of power, recreation and nurturing.
But, if something stops that flow, then progress also stops. Safe habitats dry up, power dissipates, there isn't any recreation or nurturing. And the same things happen when we lose fluidity (whether in a production environment, communication environment or creative environment) at work. What was once fertile and productive becomes frustrating.
We know this to be true: a great day at work and in life is when obstacles are at a minimum and things are moving forward as they should. And even if obstacles arise, we should resolve to embrace the collective talents and tools to resolve things quickly to get everything back on track.
Let's think about the positive power of fluidity in our lives and in our work. The ability to keep things moving, like the power of a river, is a majestic force.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 12, 2019
For Your Consideration
Consider: it's not generally thought of as a power word. Then there are its derivatives: considerate, consideration. It's often thought of as a more polite word. If you are considerate - then you are nice. And there's nothing wrong with nice
I would argue that in its truest sense, however, it is a very powerful word that enables us to do more than we thought possible.
Look it up: "Thinking carefully about (something), typically before making a decision."
Often we fall prey to a game show mentality: whoever slaps the buzzer first and rattles off the right answer wins. Life, and work, however, are not quiz shows. The questions we face on a daily basis are often more complicated than just having one answer: there are considerations.
If I make this decision - what is my next move? Am I thinking about this decision from the point of view of those who will be impacted? Even though this seems like the right decision, what have I not considered that could be a better decision for all? Does this decision ring true to promises that I have made? Is this decision congruent with decisions that I've made previously and that I will make in the future?
Have I looked at the decision points from different points of view?
All of a sudden, giving consideration, or being considerate becomes much more than a politeness or a nicety. It becomes a necessity. It is a pathway to wisdom. It enables us to make smarter decisions.
Ringing the buzzer first and rattling off what we think may be the right answer doesn't win.
Well-considered answers win.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I would argue that in its truest sense, however, it is a very powerful word that enables us to do more than we thought possible.
Look it up: "Thinking carefully about (something), typically before making a decision."
Often we fall prey to a game show mentality: whoever slaps the buzzer first and rattles off the right answer wins. Life, and work, however, are not quiz shows. The questions we face on a daily basis are often more complicated than just having one answer: there are considerations.
If I make this decision - what is my next move? Am I thinking about this decision from the point of view of those who will be impacted? Even though this seems like the right decision, what have I not considered that could be a better decision for all? Does this decision ring true to promises that I have made? Is this decision congruent with decisions that I've made previously and that I will make in the future?
Have I looked at the decision points from different points of view?
All of a sudden, giving consideration, or being considerate becomes much more than a politeness or a nicety. It becomes a necessity. It is a pathway to wisdom. It enables us to make smarter decisions.
Ringing the buzzer first and rattling off what we think may be the right answer doesn't win.
Well-considered answers win.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 29, 2019
Do People Want to Do What You Want Them to Do?
It is a common complaint of the manager: "NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wants to do what they are supposed to do."
The core question then becomes: well, exactly how does that behavior and how do those attitudes change? And guess what - NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wakes up one morning and says "Yesterday I really didn't want to do any part of my job, but today I LOVE my job and I am going to do the best I possibly can."
As leaders, we must understand this: the easiest way to change others' behaviors and attitudes is to change our own. So, if people aren't doing what we want - the best piece of advice is to change our own behaviors and attitudes.
Do people understand the purpose of what they are doing? Do they understand the impacts, both large and small, of their work contributions? Do they understand that others in the enterprise are inextricably dependent and linked to their own work output?
Do we support them; do they feel they are supported?
Do they feel heard? (More to the core of the issue - are they actually heard?) Are they genuinely respected first as individuals and secondly as professional contributors.
Do we thank people enough ? (And by the way, it is not possible to over-thank anyone).
Do we believe at the core that their contribution is important - that they are necessary? And if so, are our actions a testament to that belief?
Do they feel important?
The follow-up and trigger question then comes, what can we all do to improve our own actions so that people believe in us and truly want to follow us?
It is that sense of ownership that makes true leaders.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The core question then becomes: well, exactly how does that behavior and how do those attitudes change? And guess what - NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wakes up one morning and says "Yesterday I really didn't want to do any part of my job, but today I LOVE my job and I am going to do the best I possibly can."
As leaders, we must understand this: the easiest way to change others' behaviors and attitudes is to change our own. So, if people aren't doing what we want - the best piece of advice is to change our own behaviors and attitudes.
Do people understand the purpose of what they are doing? Do they understand the impacts, both large and small, of their work contributions? Do they understand that others in the enterprise are inextricably dependent and linked to their own work output?
Do we support them; do they feel they are supported?
Do they feel heard? (More to the core of the issue - are they actually heard?) Are they genuinely respected first as individuals and secondly as professional contributors.
Do we thank people enough ? (And by the way, it is not possible to over-thank anyone).
Do we believe at the core that their contribution is important - that they are necessary? And if so, are our actions a testament to that belief?
Do they feel important?
The follow-up and trigger question then comes, what can we all do to improve our own actions so that people believe in us and truly want to follow us?
It is that sense of ownership that makes true leaders.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 22, 2019
My Life is. . .RUINED!!! (Or, I Am a Lucky Man)
On last night's commute (which wasn't a bad commute until. . .), I was about four blocks away from home and in the left hand lane of a busy arterial - and I experienced that sickening feeling that there wasn't any commiserate reaction by pressing the accelerator. No power whatsoever. Slowly and surely I inched over to the side of the road and glided off into a vacant parking lot.
Hmmm. . . .
I didn't want a car repair bill (seriously - does anybody?). The car didn't perform its basic function of getting me from Point A to Point B (what's the point if the vehicle can't even get you where you want to go?). I had an empty coffee container in the car that needed to be returned to Starbucks that night (Oh - the pressure!). All I really wanted to do was get home (like right now!). . .have a nice dinner with the family. . .and get some sleep. All straight to hell in a handbasket. Now on one end of the spectrum, I could respond like the stereotypical teenager who finds out they can't go to the prom and throw my body onto the asphalt with the defining cry of both hopelessness and martyrdom: "My life is. . .RUINED."
But. . .
Okay, if the car was going to break down - and you're only four blocks away from the house - seriously, how fortunate is that? And, in the middle of a Seattle commute (and if you don't live here - let me assure you that Seattle statistically has some of the worst traffic in the nation) people were kind enough to let me get from the left lane to the side of the road. And just where I had to pull off was the parking lot of a fully depreciated and now-closed convenience store - so I could leave the car in the middle of a parking lot and not worry about it. Oh. . .and it was one of those beautiful spring days that was warm and sunny - so the walk home was therapeutic. And, my wife was home - so we jumped in her car, retrieved everything we needed from my car, returned the container to Starbucks (where I got a jolt of caffeine). All in all - I'm a pretty lucky guy.
Granted - two extremes of the issue - but isn't that always the case? And doesn't it enable us to move forward (because honestly, what's the choice?) faster and with greater purpose - if we recognize what is foundationally good? And honestly, being thankful for every good thing that is given us (even in difficult situations) is healthy. . .and lets us live life to a fuller purpose.
So I think about this and all of the accompanying options and I arrive at this conclusion. I choose to be a lucky man.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Hmmm. . . .
I didn't want a car repair bill (seriously - does anybody?). The car didn't perform its basic function of getting me from Point A to Point B (what's the point if the vehicle can't even get you where you want to go?). I had an empty coffee container in the car that needed to be returned to Starbucks that night (Oh - the pressure!). All I really wanted to do was get home (like right now!). . .have a nice dinner with the family. . .and get some sleep. All straight to hell in a handbasket. Now on one end of the spectrum, I could respond like the stereotypical teenager who finds out they can't go to the prom and throw my body onto the asphalt with the defining cry of both hopelessness and martyrdom: "My life is. . .RUINED."
But. . .
Okay, if the car was going to break down - and you're only four blocks away from the house - seriously, how fortunate is that? And, in the middle of a Seattle commute (and if you don't live here - let me assure you that Seattle statistically has some of the worst traffic in the nation) people were kind enough to let me get from the left lane to the side of the road. And just where I had to pull off was the parking lot of a fully depreciated and now-closed convenience store - so I could leave the car in the middle of a parking lot and not worry about it. Oh. . .and it was one of those beautiful spring days that was warm and sunny - so the walk home was therapeutic. And, my wife was home - so we jumped in her car, retrieved everything we needed from my car, returned the container to Starbucks (where I got a jolt of caffeine). All in all - I'm a pretty lucky guy.
Granted - two extremes of the issue - but isn't that always the case? And doesn't it enable us to move forward (because honestly, what's the choice?) faster and with greater purpose - if we recognize what is foundationally good? And honestly, being thankful for every good thing that is given us (even in difficult situations) is healthy. . .and lets us live life to a fuller purpose.
So I think about this and all of the accompanying options and I arrive at this conclusion. I choose to be a lucky man.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 15, 2019
99.8% Organic
Probably all of us realize the advantages of going organic - healthier, less additives, truer to the original nature. But do we recognize the advantage of going organic in the workplace?
The common practice in the workplace is to prescribe work - certainly the specific task to be done ("You need to meet with your team on a weekly basis") if not in fact the particulars of the specific task ("You need to meet with your team every Monday at 3:15 for a total of twenty minutes and you are to have an agenda or not more than five items, including two carry-over action points from your last meeting. In other words - you should do it exactly as I do it.") In other words, it is cut and paste leadership.
Here is the lost leverage. If individuals can come up with ideas themselves, it is then organic. It is their idea. It is their action point. It will be executed in the way that is best suited to their personality and style. It is their ownership.
So - given our propensity to define leadership as throwing around specific action points - how exactly would this work without dissolving into utter chaos?
First of all recognize that as leaders we are present to prevent utter chaos. It our job to consistently monitor, edit and trim. It is our organization and focus that brings things to fruition. Being extremely prescriptive may seem like the most efficient, but allowing the team to come up with organic solutions around which we coach and guide has the best long-term impact.
Let's create strong definition around the work to be done - then allow individuals to bring their own questions and solutions.
In creating strong definitions - let's be unafraid to ask questions about the work to be done as opposed to issuing edicts. What is going to be effective? What is your belief structure about this work? How does this resonate with your team? What do you feel you are most skilled at doing? As leaders we are then creating a foundation upon which the team can build a framework.
Let's be cautious and yet be unafraid of allowing people to do the work differently than we would do it ourselves. This is the entire point of teamwork: bringing a diversity of solutions to a challenge creates the strongest house.
The point is this - if we can lead and guide the team to its own solutions, the work will be so much more resilient and forceful than if we just prescribe. Why? Because the solution is organic to the team. The work is then healthier, has less unnecessary additives and is true to the original nature of the team.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The common practice in the workplace is to prescribe work - certainly the specific task to be done ("You need to meet with your team on a weekly basis") if not in fact the particulars of the specific task ("You need to meet with your team every Monday at 3:15 for a total of twenty minutes and you are to have an agenda or not more than five items, including two carry-over action points from your last meeting. In other words - you should do it exactly as I do it.") In other words, it is cut and paste leadership.
Here is the lost leverage. If individuals can come up with ideas themselves, it is then organic. It is their idea. It is their action point. It will be executed in the way that is best suited to their personality and style. It is their ownership.
So - given our propensity to define leadership as throwing around specific action points - how exactly would this work without dissolving into utter chaos?
First of all recognize that as leaders we are present to prevent utter chaos. It our job to consistently monitor, edit and trim. It is our organization and focus that brings things to fruition. Being extremely prescriptive may seem like the most efficient, but allowing the team to come up with organic solutions around which we coach and guide has the best long-term impact.
Let's create strong definition around the work to be done - then allow individuals to bring their own questions and solutions.
In creating strong definitions - let's be unafraid to ask questions about the work to be done as opposed to issuing edicts. What is going to be effective? What is your belief structure about this work? How does this resonate with your team? What do you feel you are most skilled at doing? As leaders we are then creating a foundation upon which the team can build a framework.
Let's be cautious and yet be unafraid of allowing people to do the work differently than we would do it ourselves. This is the entire point of teamwork: bringing a diversity of solutions to a challenge creates the strongest house.
The point is this - if we can lead and guide the team to its own solutions, the work will be so much more resilient and forceful than if we just prescribe. Why? Because the solution is organic to the team. The work is then healthier, has less unnecessary additives and is true to the original nature of the team.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 8, 2019
The 6 "P's" of Cultural Change
Nearly everyone will agree that there is great business leverage in warranted, positive cultural change. And then often the conversation. . . just. . .stops. We may meet and come up with a mission statement. We may put up posters. It may be a featured article in the newsletter. . .and then. . .really. . .nothing happens. The result? The culture doesn't change.
So, what does it take to change culture? 6 "P's."
People: Unless the organization is dedicated to its workforce and recognizes the importance of the individual, positive change will not occur.
Power: Often existing cultures have not been directed, but are the result of laissez faire leadership - and while this doesn't sound that stable - to change it requires a proverbial act of God. No cultural change will happen unless it is initiated, or minimally, endorsed, by the leadership of the company. No cultural change will occur unless the bulk of the enterprise is persuaded by the active participation by the leadership of the enterprise.
Persistence: "We've done the prescribed team meeting. We've hung the posters. We've worn the lapel pins. What else is there to do ?" Cultural change only happens when the messaging is repeated again and again. . .over a prolonged period of time. In the marketing world there is an adage that a message must be heard at least seven times before it is even recognized. Why would we think the workplace is any different? By our messaging, but more important, by our actions, we must not only be consistent, but persistent.
And while talking about messaging; let's not allow signs, articles, posters and swag to take the place of that which is most meaningful. Culture will not change unless it is a subject of repeated face to face conversation.
Patience: The current culture did not happen overnight - it is not going to change overnight. Some people will get on board more readily - others will be more resistant. It seems like you've taken giant steps forward. . .and then there is a backsliding. It takes time. . .lots of time. . .to make important, cultural changes (See persistence above).
Pay-Out: "What's in it for me?" Cultural change must result in something positive for every member of the organization. This is the "Why?" So not only must we be clear as to why we are initiating change, but in that rationale must be the explanation of how every team member benefits. And along the way, while we are being persistent and patient - we have to celebrate the achievement when team members start to reap the benefits. Which brings us back to. . .
People: This is the starting and the culmination point. We must organically recognize that people ultimately are the reason we do anything at all. If we permit task to over-ride the priority of people, we are culturally lost. If we allow ego to take the place of team, we have failed as leaders. Positive culture is rooted in the importance of people to the enterprise.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
So, what does it take to change culture? 6 "P's."
People: Unless the organization is dedicated to its workforce and recognizes the importance of the individual, positive change will not occur.
Power: Often existing cultures have not been directed, but are the result of laissez faire leadership - and while this doesn't sound that stable - to change it requires a proverbial act of God. No cultural change will happen unless it is initiated, or minimally, endorsed, by the leadership of the company. No cultural change will occur unless the bulk of the enterprise is persuaded by the active participation by the leadership of the enterprise.
Persistence: "We've done the prescribed team meeting. We've hung the posters. We've worn the lapel pins. What else is there to do ?" Cultural change only happens when the messaging is repeated again and again. . .over a prolonged period of time. In the marketing world there is an adage that a message must be heard at least seven times before it is even recognized. Why would we think the workplace is any different? By our messaging, but more important, by our actions, we must not only be consistent, but persistent.
And while talking about messaging; let's not allow signs, articles, posters and swag to take the place of that which is most meaningful. Culture will not change unless it is a subject of repeated face to face conversation.
Patience: The current culture did not happen overnight - it is not going to change overnight. Some people will get on board more readily - others will be more resistant. It seems like you've taken giant steps forward. . .and then there is a backsliding. It takes time. . .lots of time. . .to make important, cultural changes (See persistence above).
Pay-Out: "What's in it for me?" Cultural change must result in something positive for every member of the organization. This is the "Why?" So not only must we be clear as to why we are initiating change, but in that rationale must be the explanation of how every team member benefits. And along the way, while we are being persistent and patient - we have to celebrate the achievement when team members start to reap the benefits. Which brings us back to. . .
People: This is the starting and the culmination point. We must organically recognize that people ultimately are the reason we do anything at all. If we permit task to over-ride the priority of people, we are culturally lost. If we allow ego to take the place of team, we have failed as leaders. Positive culture is rooted in the importance of people to the enterprise.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 1, 2019
What Did You Learn Today?
Okay, so that conversation with a colleague didn't go exactly as planned; it was rougher than expected. And now, in retrospect, you're feeling a little burned. . .maybe a little dismissed. . .
And that presentation - going fine until that person from the fifth floor asked a question that really didn't have any applicability to your subject matter whatsoever. You stumbled. . .and now you feel a little foolish and a lot of embarrassed.
And the answer your boss gave you! Very unexpected - kind of threw you for a loop. Feeling a little off-center. . .
Or instead of feeling dismissed or disrespected or foolish or embarrassed or off-center. . .a more constructive course of action is generated by this. . .what did you learn today?
It is what it is. . .what is done is truly done. The past can't be changed. . .but our reaction to it can be. Our reactions are so trained by our personal culture. . .to be angry or flummoxed or embarrassed is rather built in. That doesn't mean, however, that our natural reaction cannot be re-trained to be something more positive; something that moves us forward.
And learning moves us forward.
What did we learn about our approach to that potentially difficult co-worker? What can we do in presentations to be prepared for the unexpected? Perhaps we should approach conversations with our boss with less expectations and more open-ness.
Meditating on what went wrong is very different than dwelling on it. Thoughtfulness on what "went wrong" should instruct us as to what we can do better going forward.
Each day presents new opportunities and challenges. The commonality is that we can, and should, learn as much as possible. . .each day.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And that presentation - going fine until that person from the fifth floor asked a question that really didn't have any applicability to your subject matter whatsoever. You stumbled. . .and now you feel a little foolish and a lot of embarrassed.
And the answer your boss gave you! Very unexpected - kind of threw you for a loop. Feeling a little off-center. . .
Or instead of feeling dismissed or disrespected or foolish or embarrassed or off-center. . .a more constructive course of action is generated by this. . .what did you learn today?
It is what it is. . .what is done is truly done. The past can't be changed. . .but our reaction to it can be. Our reactions are so trained by our personal culture. . .to be angry or flummoxed or embarrassed is rather built in. That doesn't mean, however, that our natural reaction cannot be re-trained to be something more positive; something that moves us forward.
And learning moves us forward.
What did we learn about our approach to that potentially difficult co-worker? What can we do in presentations to be prepared for the unexpected? Perhaps we should approach conversations with our boss with less expectations and more open-ness.
Meditating on what went wrong is very different than dwelling on it. Thoughtfulness on what "went wrong" should instruct us as to what we can do better going forward.
Each day presents new opportunities and challenges. The commonality is that we can, and should, learn as much as possible. . .each day.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 22, 2019
The Why in the Road
Common directions: "Go 3.5 miles and you will come a "Y" in the road." This means you have a decision to make.
Directions at work: you are communicating an initiative and you will come to a "Why" in the road. You have a decision to make.
Do we just tell people "what" to do? Or do we continue the journey and tell them "why" we want them to do what it is we are requesting?
I was reminded again today of the power of "why?" Not only am I a strong proponent of asking the question "why?"; I'm also a strong proponent of answering the question (preferably before being asked to explain myself!).
It is obvious. "Why" is the reason. "Why" is the rationale. This is the whole point of the undertaking. Often though, in a rush, we get the basic task done of telling people "what" without telling them the "why." That, then, is an incomplete conversation. It's like building the framing of a house without a foundation.
Everyone (justifiably) wants to know "why." It is power. And if we provide that power, we are enabling people not only to feel complete and part of the team - we are enabling them to do so much more. We are giving the complete picture that integrates team members and actions so that it all makes sense. Once people understand the purpose and how everything works together - they can proceed with ownership, responsibility and with greater independence.
With every directive you will come to the "Why" in the road. Take it. You and your team will go a lot further.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Directions at work: you are communicating an initiative and you will come to a "Why" in the road. You have a decision to make.
Do we just tell people "what" to do? Or do we continue the journey and tell them "why" we want them to do what it is we are requesting?
I was reminded again today of the power of "why?" Not only am I a strong proponent of asking the question "why?"; I'm also a strong proponent of answering the question (preferably before being asked to explain myself!).
It is obvious. "Why" is the reason. "Why" is the rationale. This is the whole point of the undertaking. Often though, in a rush, we get the basic task done of telling people "what" without telling them the "why." That, then, is an incomplete conversation. It's like building the framing of a house without a foundation.
Everyone (justifiably) wants to know "why." It is power. And if we provide that power, we are enabling people not only to feel complete and part of the team - we are enabling them to do so much more. We are giving the complete picture that integrates team members and actions so that it all makes sense. Once people understand the purpose and how everything works together - they can proceed with ownership, responsibility and with greater independence.
With every directive you will come to the "Why" in the road. Take it. You and your team will go a lot further.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 15, 2019
Well Connected
If you know a lot of people and know a lot about a lot of people then generally you are recognized as being well connected.
And usually that means you are well connected outside of your company, outside of your work group - but are you as well connected with the people within your work group? And, if not, why not?
As much as connectivity increases relational capital outside of your company, that formula can be multiplied within the work group. Often, however, we (falsely) find it unnecessary to connect to people we have the privilege of working with each day.
"I see them every day or the week - I know plenty." But, do you?
"I really want to keep my professional distance." But, what does that mean? True - there is a wise "professional distance" - and that is true of all professional relationships. But sometimes it becomes an excuse not to do the work. And a price accompanies that distance.
"They work for me, I shouldn't have to work that hard at it." Wrong. Just plain wrong.
If there is any place or any group with which we should have great connectivity - it is with the team that we are working with. That knowledge. . .that skill set. . .allows teams to operate at maximum efficiency. It also allows teams to work with maximum care: recognizing strengths and weaknesses or each individual and being able to tailor, daily, how we interact.
The time it takes to genuinely know someone is one of the best time investments we can possible make.
As is true with every power source, when we are disconnected, nothing works. When we are well-connected - everything works.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And usually that means you are well connected outside of your company, outside of your work group - but are you as well connected with the people within your work group? And, if not, why not?
As much as connectivity increases relational capital outside of your company, that formula can be multiplied within the work group. Often, however, we (falsely) find it unnecessary to connect to people we have the privilege of working with each day.
"I see them every day or the week - I know plenty." But, do you?
"I really want to keep my professional distance." But, what does that mean? True - there is a wise "professional distance" - and that is true of all professional relationships. But sometimes it becomes an excuse not to do the work. And a price accompanies that distance.
"They work for me, I shouldn't have to work that hard at it." Wrong. Just plain wrong.
If there is any place or any group with which we should have great connectivity - it is with the team that we are working with. That knowledge. . .that skill set. . .allows teams to operate at maximum efficiency. It also allows teams to work with maximum care: recognizing strengths and weaknesses or each individual and being able to tailor, daily, how we interact.
The time it takes to genuinely know someone is one of the best time investments we can possible make.
As is true with every power source, when we are disconnected, nothing works. When we are well-connected - everything works.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 8, 2019
Can You Really See What's in the Future?
At the neighborhood shopping center the other day, my reverie in my walk across the parking lot to Starbucks was rudely interrupted by someone laying on the horn. Cranking my head 90 degrees I could see that the horn honker was seeming perturbed by the SUV in front of them; it's pace was slow. What the horn honker did not see was that the SUV was going at a very slow pace to allow an elderly couple to cross in front so they could safely get to the grocery store.
So. . .do we really see what's in front of us. . .or do we only see what is blocking our vision of the future?
In reactive moments (and life is filled with reactive moments) we tend to access that which is only immediately available. We may be looking down a "clear road" devoid of obstacles, when suddenly something is plopped in front of us. No longer do we have a clear or a long vision - we become consumed by that which is seemingly blocking our progress.
If the "horn honker" in my story had not immediately reacted and perhaps had a little more patience, they could have easily looked around the SUV in front to understand that it was accommodating an elderly couple and providing safety. If the "horn honker" had taken a minute to think about possible options of why the SUV was impeding their progress - perhaps they would not have reacted in the manner in which they did. If the "horn honker" had more patience to wait for a clear view - the disruption could have been avoided.
Sometimes a little patience is a lot of great things. To have a long view - an accurate view of the future - really does not happen in the moment. It is not reactive. While recognizing that short term obstacles can sometimes obstruct our view - the long view recognizes that these are, in fact, only short term and it pays to keep focused on all of the great things ahead.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
So. . .do we really see what's in front of us. . .or do we only see what is blocking our vision of the future?
In reactive moments (and life is filled with reactive moments) we tend to access that which is only immediately available. We may be looking down a "clear road" devoid of obstacles, when suddenly something is plopped in front of us. No longer do we have a clear or a long vision - we become consumed by that which is seemingly blocking our progress.
If the "horn honker" in my story had not immediately reacted and perhaps had a little more patience, they could have easily looked around the SUV in front to understand that it was accommodating an elderly couple and providing safety. If the "horn honker" had taken a minute to think about possible options of why the SUV was impeding their progress - perhaps they would not have reacted in the manner in which they did. If the "horn honker" had more patience to wait for a clear view - the disruption could have been avoided.
Sometimes a little patience is a lot of great things. To have a long view - an accurate view of the future - really does not happen in the moment. It is not reactive. While recognizing that short term obstacles can sometimes obstruct our view - the long view recognizes that these are, in fact, only short term and it pays to keep focused on all of the great things ahead.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Who is That Person You are Talking With?
Many times during the workday we find ourselves in conversations with bosses, peers and team members we support as leaders. Sometimes those conversations are superficial, other times the conversations mine deeper territory. We see and interpret that which is directly in front of us, that which immediately presents itself. There is, however, much more. It is always important to remember that we don't what we don't know.
That person you are talking with: how do they really feel about their work? How does their job intersect with the remainder of their life? How do those factors influence their conversation with you?
That person you are talking with may have had the worst morning on record: kids were late to school, traffic was a nightmare, a terse discussion with their significant other. Often you don't know these things - but, yes, these things impact the conversation.
You often don't know much about the background of the person you are talking with. What was their childhood like? What is their impression of organizational structure and how do they react to it? How did they learn to interact with their own skill set: are they honestly proud of it or do they feel as if it could never be enough?
Culturally, what kind of conversation is this person equipped to have? Does a robust discussion in which shared opinions, sometimes adverse, a welcoming or threatening event?
What nourishes this person? What builds them? What makes them feel good and also challenges them?
We don't know what we don't know.
It is always good to remember this when in conversation. But it is also a reminder (without invading privacy and common sense) to know the people we have the privilege of working with. The more we know (within reason) the more we can support, nurture, encourage and have conversations that genuinely build working relationships.
That person you are talking with is an amalgamation of years of cultural and maturation process. To be truly supportive, we understand that and work with that.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
That person you are talking with: how do they really feel about their work? How does their job intersect with the remainder of their life? How do those factors influence their conversation with you?
That person you are talking with may have had the worst morning on record: kids were late to school, traffic was a nightmare, a terse discussion with their significant other. Often you don't know these things - but, yes, these things impact the conversation.
You often don't know much about the background of the person you are talking with. What was their childhood like? What is their impression of organizational structure and how do they react to it? How did they learn to interact with their own skill set: are they honestly proud of it or do they feel as if it could never be enough?
Culturally, what kind of conversation is this person equipped to have? Does a robust discussion in which shared opinions, sometimes adverse, a welcoming or threatening event?
What nourishes this person? What builds them? What makes them feel good and also challenges them?
We don't know what we don't know.
It is always good to remember this when in conversation. But it is also a reminder (without invading privacy and common sense) to know the people we have the privilege of working with. The more we know (within reason) the more we can support, nurture, encourage and have conversations that genuinely build working relationships.
That person you are talking with is an amalgamation of years of cultural and maturation process. To be truly supportive, we understand that and work with that.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 25, 2019
Why People Hate Work. . or, It's Not a Game of Survivor
One individual winning.
If that's the key focus at work, at the expense of teams winning, the workplace will be miserable. Even the individuals who supposedly "win" in this workplace game of survival will be miserable - but accept their ultimate hate of work as just part of the price that needs to be paid to ultimately come out on top.
Popular culture has done very little to promote teamwork; alternatively, it has glorified those who survive no matter how many bodies are left behind. Witness, in fact, "Survivor." Watch any episode of the Real Housewives and seemingly all that matters is who has the last word. Even something as innocuous as House Hunters creates drama between partners: "Who will win out - the person who wants the Tudor Cottage or the person who wants the mid-century modern?" We are led to believe that absolutely everything is a contest in which ultimately there is one winner and a field of woe-be-gone left-behinds.
Yes, I realize this is all in the name of drama. But "good drama" does not make good workplaces.
And if there is any remaining doubt that we glorify one individual winning in our public culture, just take a look at the current political landscape. Is anybody. . .anyone. . .happy with that?
If this is the perspective we bring to work - no wonder we hate it so. Spending 8+ hours per day wondering who lied to get ahead or who stabbed us in the back so they can take our place is not a productive use of time or energy. Seriously, no one should want to live (or work) this way. And contrary to some popular story lines, it does not produce excellence or even mediocre work. It produces a hero for approximately an hour and then it is on to the next drama.
So as much as we want this madness to stop, we have ownership in that decision. We can stop wishing for (or even worshipping) division, game playing and one-ups-manship. We can stop the hero worship of those who are so obviously selfish human beings. We can stop being pawns.
For those of us fortunate to work in collaborative, team-oriented environments - we realize how much this contributes to the enjoyment of work and the joy of accomplishment.
Glorify accomplishment and team work. Own that, hold it and exercise it. Then you will love work. . .and life.
And get a lot more done.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
If that's the key focus at work, at the expense of teams winning, the workplace will be miserable. Even the individuals who supposedly "win" in this workplace game of survival will be miserable - but accept their ultimate hate of work as just part of the price that needs to be paid to ultimately come out on top.
Popular culture has done very little to promote teamwork; alternatively, it has glorified those who survive no matter how many bodies are left behind. Witness, in fact, "Survivor." Watch any episode of the Real Housewives and seemingly all that matters is who has the last word. Even something as innocuous as House Hunters creates drama between partners: "Who will win out - the person who wants the Tudor Cottage or the person who wants the mid-century modern?" We are led to believe that absolutely everything is a contest in which ultimately there is one winner and a field of woe-be-gone left-behinds.
Yes, I realize this is all in the name of drama. But "good drama" does not make good workplaces.
And if there is any remaining doubt that we glorify one individual winning in our public culture, just take a look at the current political landscape. Is anybody. . .anyone. . .happy with that?
If this is the perspective we bring to work - no wonder we hate it so. Spending 8+ hours per day wondering who lied to get ahead or who stabbed us in the back so they can take our place is not a productive use of time or energy. Seriously, no one should want to live (or work) this way. And contrary to some popular story lines, it does not produce excellence or even mediocre work. It produces a hero for approximately an hour and then it is on to the next drama.
So as much as we want this madness to stop, we have ownership in that decision. We can stop wishing for (or even worshipping) division, game playing and one-ups-manship. We can stop the hero worship of those who are so obviously selfish human beings. We can stop being pawns.
For those of us fortunate to work in collaborative, team-oriented environments - we realize how much this contributes to the enjoyment of work and the joy of accomplishment.
Glorify accomplishment and team work. Own that, hold it and exercise it. Then you will love work. . .and life.
And get a lot more done.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 18, 2019
Door Activated, Keep Moving
I'm walking through the automated sliding doors and for the first time read one of those ever-present signs that we are all supposed to read - but never do.
"Door Activated, Keep Moving."
The purpose behind these four words must be this: as customers approach the sliding glass door they experience a certain amount of uncertainty and anxiety as to whether the sliding glass panel will actually open. Out of doubt, they (unnecessarily) stop. This stopping not only impedes their own progress, but the progress of those following. If they would just keep moving - everything would be fine.
So I think about how we operate in our own lives. We believe something is supposed to happen. We have every right to believe it's going to happen. Yet, we pause unnecessarily because we don't really have faith that it is going to happen. And we stop moving forward.
I know I have done this hundreds of times. I've impeded my own progress, and the progress of others, because of irrational doubts.
Looking at the example of the sliding door, I recognized these facts. The store was open for business. I could see that there was a door that was available for me to use. I have seen these doors open hundreds, if not thousands, of times. I kept moving because I had more confidence in these facts than I did in my self-doubt that the door wouldn't open.
So I'm not suggesting a "blind trust." Certainly we need to know what are the facts of the world around us and what the history has been. But if we have that information - shouldn't we just "keep moving." Why impede progress, both for ourselves and others, when all we have to justify "stopping" is our own internal suspicions or self doubts? These things are not good enough to keep us from moving forward.
There are doors that present themselves to us every day. These doors, or opportunities, are supported by what we know to be true. Let's not unnecessarily deprive ourselves of these opportunities due to unfounded superstitions. Let's just "Keep Moving."
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
"Door Activated, Keep Moving."
The purpose behind these four words must be this: as customers approach the sliding glass door they experience a certain amount of uncertainty and anxiety as to whether the sliding glass panel will actually open. Out of doubt, they (unnecessarily) stop. This stopping not only impedes their own progress, but the progress of those following. If they would just keep moving - everything would be fine.
So I think about how we operate in our own lives. We believe something is supposed to happen. We have every right to believe it's going to happen. Yet, we pause unnecessarily because we don't really have faith that it is going to happen. And we stop moving forward.
I know I have done this hundreds of times. I've impeded my own progress, and the progress of others, because of irrational doubts.
Looking at the example of the sliding door, I recognized these facts. The store was open for business. I could see that there was a door that was available for me to use. I have seen these doors open hundreds, if not thousands, of times. I kept moving because I had more confidence in these facts than I did in my self-doubt that the door wouldn't open.
So I'm not suggesting a "blind trust." Certainly we need to know what are the facts of the world around us and what the history has been. But if we have that information - shouldn't we just "keep moving." Why impede progress, both for ourselves and others, when all we have to justify "stopping" is our own internal suspicions or self doubts? These things are not good enough to keep us from moving forward.
There are doors that present themselves to us every day. These doors, or opportunities, are supported by what we know to be true. Let's not unnecessarily deprive ourselves of these opportunities due to unfounded superstitions. Let's just "Keep Moving."
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 11, 2019
Having Faith in Our Own Lives
An actress is waiting in the wings prior to her performance. She has "butterflies." She always has "butterflies." Even though she has done this role exactly 486 times. And, when her right foot steps forward onto that stage, she moves with the utmost confidence that, supported by her successful history, she will attain excellence.
A surgeon begins the fifth procedure of the day. While all of the preliminary tests have been done, the surgeon is well aware that sometimes surprises await in the midst of a procedure. Is the surgeon completely at ease with this? No. The surgeon knows, however, that based on education and experience, that he/she have a proven skill set that will serve both the professional staff and the patient well.
And we come to work each morning. We may know what faces us, we may not. We may be anxious in either case. Yet, we should approach each and every day with the faith that "We've done this before." "We've not only survived, but we have thrived." "We have learned lessons that will enable us to course correct to a successful conclusion."
From my personal experience, I know there are traces of anxiety with each new experience (and each day brings a new experience). And that's fine. But, if we let these traces grow to doubts about our own skill sets and talents and knowledge, then we have truly over-indexed and are doing ourselves a disfavor. Or, if we let these traces of uncertainty bring to light our resources - then we are in the game!
Because, seriously, we've done this before. We're here! We know more and we've grown exponentially. (If we haven't, what's the point?) We may never be totally prepared - but we have immeasurable resources to get through whatever we face.
We should justifiably have faith in what we have learned. We should trust the knowledge we've gained. We should be thankful for what we've accomplished and what we have gotten through.
We should have faith in our own lives.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
A surgeon begins the fifth procedure of the day. While all of the preliminary tests have been done, the surgeon is well aware that sometimes surprises await in the midst of a procedure. Is the surgeon completely at ease with this? No. The surgeon knows, however, that based on education and experience, that he/she have a proven skill set that will serve both the professional staff and the patient well.
And we come to work each morning. We may know what faces us, we may not. We may be anxious in either case. Yet, we should approach each and every day with the faith that "We've done this before." "We've not only survived, but we have thrived." "We have learned lessons that will enable us to course correct to a successful conclusion."
From my personal experience, I know there are traces of anxiety with each new experience (and each day brings a new experience). And that's fine. But, if we let these traces grow to doubts about our own skill sets and talents and knowledge, then we have truly over-indexed and are doing ourselves a disfavor. Or, if we let these traces of uncertainty bring to light our resources - then we are in the game!
Because, seriously, we've done this before. We're here! We know more and we've grown exponentially. (If we haven't, what's the point?) We may never be totally prepared - but we have immeasurable resources to get through whatever we face.
We should justifiably have faith in what we have learned. We should trust the knowledge we've gained. We should be thankful for what we've accomplished and what we have gotten through.
We should have faith in our own lives.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Excellence vs. Perfection
As the new year rings in - so do promises to be better. And as we set our sights on goals and what we wish for ourselves, our families and our businesses, often two words play a dominant role: "Excellence" vs "Perfection." They are not mutually exclusive to one another, but I think it is important to recognize the differences between the two.
Perfection is seldom attained: excellence is a more realistic goal.
Perfection is not flexible; it often does not have fluidity that allows it to move with the times. Excellence, I think, is the opposite; it respects and often commands fluidity.
Perfection has only one answer; excellence often has many answers. Excellence should thrive on options and creativity.
One mistake and we are not perfect; excellence is far more forgiving. In fact, one can make the case that great work is built on the ability to make mistakes and learn from that process.
Perfection is an end-game; excellence is an ongoing journey.
Then one has to ask the question: is perfection a reality? Perhaps in the world of numbers in which we recognize that 2+2=4; but does excellence exceed perfection in its ability to allow greater inquiry and entrepreneurial spirit? Does excellence allow us to set our sights further? Does excellence afford us the great opportunities of continued personal and professional growth? I believe it does.
Then, let's choose excellence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Perfection is seldom attained: excellence is a more realistic goal.
Perfection is not flexible; it often does not have fluidity that allows it to move with the times. Excellence, I think, is the opposite; it respects and often commands fluidity.
Perfection has only one answer; excellence often has many answers. Excellence should thrive on options and creativity.
One mistake and we are not perfect; excellence is far more forgiving. In fact, one can make the case that great work is built on the ability to make mistakes and learn from that process.
Perfection is an end-game; excellence is an ongoing journey.
Then one has to ask the question: is perfection a reality? Perhaps in the world of numbers in which we recognize that 2+2=4; but does excellence exceed perfection in its ability to allow greater inquiry and entrepreneurial spirit? Does excellence allow us to set our sights further? Does excellence afford us the great opportunities of continued personal and professional growth? I believe it does.
Then, let's choose excellence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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