Friday, December 29, 2017
Great Leaders. . .
Care for the good of the entirety vs. a select few.
Don't always have to be right. . .but are unquenchable in their thirst to do the right thing.
Value, cherish diversity.
Conduct their business so that people want to follow them.
Lead with integrity.
Build teams; build consensus.
Focus; but also have the innate ability to look at challenges and opportunities from a wide array of differing viewpoints.
Eschew extremes.
Value strong economics; recognize that strong economics are based in ethics and the good of the whole.
Say they are sorry.
Forgive and move on.
Are humble
Are selfless.
Let's be great leaders.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, December 22, 2017
About Family. . .
Somewhere around age 18, when my nuclear family just kind of melted away, I adopted the idea that there are all kinds of family. For me, my close friends became my family: my shelter, my comfort, my confidantes.
Throughout the years I came to recognize that family takes on many different forms and definitions, both in the nuclear sense and in the larger sense. Family is those with whom we surround ourselves. It is those in whom we confide. It is those who shelter us from not only the weather, but emotional storms. It is those with whom we celebrate. Those with whom we joke.
It is those that care.
And there is family everywhere.
I recognize that I have many families. First and foremost, my nuclear family which is irreplaceable. But I still have my family of very good friends. And for the purpose of a leadership blog, let me say I few words about my work family.
Throughout the years, I have been so privileged and lucky and honored to work alongside some of the very best people I could imagine. We disagreed. We agreed. We listened. We accomplished.
We worked hard.
And in no small measure, we recognized that we became bonded together.
The work family is a great gift. If you don't have one - find one. If you can't find one - create one. How? Be vulnerable. Be authentic. Be truthful. Be caring. Be there.
Because families are a great gift indeed.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Throughout the years I came to recognize that family takes on many different forms and definitions, both in the nuclear sense and in the larger sense. Family is those with whom we surround ourselves. It is those in whom we confide. It is those who shelter us from not only the weather, but emotional storms. It is those with whom we celebrate. Those with whom we joke.
It is those that care.
And there is family everywhere.
I recognize that I have many families. First and foremost, my nuclear family which is irreplaceable. But I still have my family of very good friends. And for the purpose of a leadership blog, let me say I few words about my work family.
Throughout the years, I have been so privileged and lucky and honored to work alongside some of the very best people I could imagine. We disagreed. We agreed. We listened. We accomplished.
We worked hard.
And in no small measure, we recognized that we became bonded together.
The work family is a great gift. If you don't have one - find one. If you can't find one - create one. How? Be vulnerable. Be authentic. Be truthful. Be caring. Be there.
Because families are a great gift indeed.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, December 15, 2017
This. One. Word
Upon entering the Paramount Theatre, the feeling of excitement was palpable. When the lights went down and the cast members of "So You Think You Can Dance," took the stage, the audience's anticipation was rewarded with a stage rich with excitement and passion.
Exuberance.
Look it up on Bing: it is the quality of being full of energy, excitement and cheerfulness.
It's a word that we should think about and activate more often; these are the key qualities (energy, excitement. . .and yes, even cheerfulness) that should think about bringing to our work and our lives.
Exuberance.
Look it up on Bing: it is the quality of being full of energy, excitement and cheerfulness.
It's a word that we should think about and activate more often; these are the key qualities (energy, excitement. . .and yes, even cheerfulness) that should think about bringing to our work and our lives.
At times we confuse "professional decorum" with somber and staid. Somber and staid don't win the day. They don't recruit friends. People don't want to follow somber and staid. Why? Because the very words lack passion.
Foundationally, we need to be honest with ourselves. Are we, or can we, be genuinely excited about our work? If we can't, forget about exuberance and passion and all that good stuff. . .if we are genuinely unhappy with our work, then we are smiling through gritted teeth. . .and seriously, we need to fix it or move on.
Upon examination, however - if we can find that we really love what we do - then let it show! I'm not talking about hauling out the pom-poms and turning cartwheels - but I am talking about letting our excitement for our team and the tasks at hand be not only genuine, but on display as well.
Why? We will be happier. Too often we fall into the trap of "work is work and work is not to be liked or enjoyed." This is deadly. If we enjoy our work, we need to celebrate that work and those that contribute to the work.
Why? Because our teams will be happier - they will want to follow us. Seriously, no one really wants to follow a funeral director - you know what's at the end of the line. But, we all want to follow someone who exudes genuine interest and excitement for what is at hand. It is inspiration.
Exuberance.
This one word, if activated, can make all the difference.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, December 8, 2017
The Duellists
At the age of approximately 12, I was wedged between my mother and another formidable force, let's call her Agnes Joy, in the Sunday morning church service. The pipe organ swelled into the intro of one of those anthem hymns, not quite "Onward Christian Soldiers" but, you get the idea. It started in the first verse, my Mother, a soprano, started singing more loudly than Agnes Joy. Not to be outdone, Agnes Joy, another soprano, escalated her volume so that she was just a little bit louder than my mother.
There it was - the gauntlet was thrown down. Each diva, note by note, started singing more loudly than the other. I caught them giving each other the side-eye, accompanied by superior smirks that indicated that they were out to prove themselves better than their competition.
By the time they swung into the third verse I swear you could hear both of them gasping for air. The veins on their necks were starting to bulge. It wasn't the hymn that mattered to them. It wasn't the remainder of the congregation. All that mattered was the imagined win if one was louder than the other. They were just two divas duking it for the privilege of being heard.
Sound familiar? I've seen this in the workplace - have you? Two people get in a competition or a contretemps - and it starts escalating. Suddenly, the rest of the workplace doesn't matter any longer. The work doesn't matter any more. Any hint that their actions may be negatively influencing their peers and team members vanishes. It's all about the duel.
And that is really too bad. Success means that team members are focused on the work and on each other. Internal competition can quickly slide from "Isn't this a fun game we're playing?" to "You are my most mortal enemy and I need to destroy you." Obviously, the latter isn't good for anyone save for perhaps the individuals who are truly the competition; those external forces that threaten the health of your enterprise.
Beware the internal Duellists; they do absolutely nothing positive for anybody (including themselves - even though they may not recognize this). Internal harmony, recognition of the common good and respect for all - that's what wins the day.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
There it was - the gauntlet was thrown down. Each diva, note by note, started singing more loudly than the other. I caught them giving each other the side-eye, accompanied by superior smirks that indicated that they were out to prove themselves better than their competition.
By the time they swung into the third verse I swear you could hear both of them gasping for air. The veins on their necks were starting to bulge. It wasn't the hymn that mattered to them. It wasn't the remainder of the congregation. All that mattered was the imagined win if one was louder than the other. They were just two divas duking it for the privilege of being heard.
Sound familiar? I've seen this in the workplace - have you? Two people get in a competition or a contretemps - and it starts escalating. Suddenly, the rest of the workplace doesn't matter any longer. The work doesn't matter any more. Any hint that their actions may be negatively influencing their peers and team members vanishes. It's all about the duel.
And that is really too bad. Success means that team members are focused on the work and on each other. Internal competition can quickly slide from "Isn't this a fun game we're playing?" to "You are my most mortal enemy and I need to destroy you." Obviously, the latter isn't good for anyone save for perhaps the individuals who are truly the competition; those external forces that threaten the health of your enterprise.
Beware the internal Duellists; they do absolutely nothing positive for anybody (including themselves - even though they may not recognize this). Internal harmony, recognition of the common good and respect for all - that's what wins the day.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Dangers of "They"
"They." It is an indiscriminate, often poorly defined mass of whomever upon which we are able to pin a lot of blame and escape ownership. As in:
I don't know why we can't do it, all I know is that "they" told me we can't.
"They" don't get it/respect me/respect us.
"They" simply don't understand and never will.
"They" tell us what we need to do and we just do it - that's all.
Sometimes substitutes are used for "they." "Upper management." "The Government." "The administration." The intent is still the same; it is the assignment of blame to a mass with no face.
It is the vagueness and sweeping generalities of the statements that offer no assistance toward building a better world. It is as if we can abdicate all responsibility and any sense of ownership in an Orwellian sense if we use the word "they."
So first of all, if this general assignment of blame is to escape responsibility - it needs to stop. It doesn't make anyone feel any better; it doesn't right any wrongs.
Secondly, if there is a case of justice to be made, we need to utilize better semantics.
Specifically - who is it? And what exactly did they say? And who can verify what they said? And are we sure that the impact equals the intent? If we can answer these questions, then we can proceed to correcting a wrong with greater veracity. And if we disagree, then we know whom to disagree with. . .and perhaps we could have a conversation with that person(s) and present our side of the story.
The other difficulty with "they" is that it is accompanied by a spoken or unspoken "us." The usage immediately draws a line in the sand and whether it is a social, workplace or governmental matter, we are seldom well-served by such delineation.
The vague assignment of blame. The generalizations. These things enable us to talk big, but the impacts are extremely short. If you really want to solve a problem, don't hide behind these clouds. "They," in fact, is often all of us. Let's be more precise. Let's be more collaborative. Let's talk about what we can accomplish together.
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
I don't know why we can't do it, all I know is that "they" told me we can't.
"They" don't get it/respect me/respect us.
"They" simply don't understand and never will.
"They" tell us what we need to do and we just do it - that's all.
Sometimes substitutes are used for "they." "Upper management." "The Government." "The administration." The intent is still the same; it is the assignment of blame to a mass with no face.
It is the vagueness and sweeping generalities of the statements that offer no assistance toward building a better world. It is as if we can abdicate all responsibility and any sense of ownership in an Orwellian sense if we use the word "they."
So first of all, if this general assignment of blame is to escape responsibility - it needs to stop. It doesn't make anyone feel any better; it doesn't right any wrongs.
Secondly, if there is a case of justice to be made, we need to utilize better semantics.
Specifically - who is it? And what exactly did they say? And who can verify what they said? And are we sure that the impact equals the intent? If we can answer these questions, then we can proceed to correcting a wrong with greater veracity. And if we disagree, then we know whom to disagree with. . .and perhaps we could have a conversation with that person(s) and present our side of the story.
The other difficulty with "they" is that it is accompanied by a spoken or unspoken "us." The usage immediately draws a line in the sand and whether it is a social, workplace or governmental matter, we are seldom well-served by such delineation.
The vague assignment of blame. The generalizations. These things enable us to talk big, but the impacts are extremely short. If you really want to solve a problem, don't hide behind these clouds. "They," in fact, is often all of us. Let's be more precise. Let's be more collaborative. Let's talk about what we can accomplish together.
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Friday, November 24, 2017
It is the Relationship After All
Harvard Business Professor, Clayton Christensen, made news this past week by asserting that within the next couple of decades half of America's colleges would be bankrupt.
Why?
Christensen believes the value represented by an on-line education will erode enrollment in the traditional four year universities; in other words, their business pattern has been disrupted.
What perhaps was more interesting was what Christensen found could not be disrupted. This from CNBC:
Fortunately, Christensen says that there is one thing that online education will not be able to replace. In his research, he found that most of the successful alumni who gave generous donations to their alma maters did so because a specific professor or coach inspired them.
Among all of these donors, "Their connection wasn't their discipline, it wasn't even the college," says Christensen. "It was an individual member of the faculty who had changed their lives."
"Maybe the most important thing that we add value to our students is the ability to change their lives," he explained. "It's not clear that that can be disrupted."
And there it is, the relationship is everything. I remember that when I was trying to select a college my uncle, a college prof, gave me his excellent advice; that really the pedigree of the college didn't matter as much as the relationship the student could have with the faculty.
The same is true of the workplace. You may work for a company with one of the best reputations, but if your boss and peers cannot conduct work with positive, nurturing relationships - that reputation is greatly diminished. Conversely, you may work for a little known company - but if you have great working relationships - the world is a beautiful (and productive - and more than likely, profitable) place.
The responsibility for this falls to each of us. Relationships, by their very nature, are reciprocal - meaning each of us has ownership. It is a privilege to have the responsibility to start and nurture positive working relationships; own that privilege and utilize it to its full advantage.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Why?
Christensen believes the value represented by an on-line education will erode enrollment in the traditional four year universities; in other words, their business pattern has been disrupted.
What perhaps was more interesting was what Christensen found could not be disrupted. This from CNBC:
Fortunately, Christensen says that there is one thing that online education will not be able to replace. In his research, he found that most of the successful alumni who gave generous donations to their alma maters did so because a specific professor or coach inspired them.
Among all of these donors, "Their connection wasn't their discipline, it wasn't even the college," says Christensen. "It was an individual member of the faculty who had changed their lives."
"Maybe the most important thing that we add value to our students is the ability to change their lives," he explained. "It's not clear that that can be disrupted."
And there it is, the relationship is everything. I remember that when I was trying to select a college my uncle, a college prof, gave me his excellent advice; that really the pedigree of the college didn't matter as much as the relationship the student could have with the faculty.
The same is true of the workplace. You may work for a company with one of the best reputations, but if your boss and peers cannot conduct work with positive, nurturing relationships - that reputation is greatly diminished. Conversely, you may work for a little known company - but if you have great working relationships - the world is a beautiful (and productive - and more than likely, profitable) place.
The responsibility for this falls to each of us. Relationships, by their very nature, are reciprocal - meaning each of us has ownership. It is a privilege to have the responsibility to start and nurture positive working relationships; own that privilege and utilize it to its full advantage.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 17, 2017
How to Improve Your Life
From the get-go, my parents relentlessly taught me to thank people. It wasn't even an option. I admit that, as an adult, "Thank you" falls out of my mouth somewhat automatically; perhaps I'm not even aware that I'm saying it.
I know this, though: even without thought, it is better to thank people, even in the most casual of circumstances, than it is to not thank people. It is minimally, polite. In an age when we all seem to be on edge, politeness and courtesy are much needed antidotes
Upon reflection, however, it has become more than that to me. The expression of thanks humbles us; it is a reminder that we are beholden to others for what we have. As much as we may like to believe that we are self-made and self-sufficient and may not need others - that is not the reality. In our society, every day and almost every minute we are reliant upon each other. The expression of thanks acknowledges that teamwork.
The expression of thanks, then, also builds bonds between us. And again, in a particularly divisive period in our history, this linkage from one to another is a good thing. Even if it may be someone with whom we disagree, to express thanks. . .to admit that we are reliant upon them. . .is a very good exercise.
If you appreciate others expressing gratitude toward you - then you know the following is true. It's a good feeling to be thanked. It is an acknowledgment of all of you've done or who you are. That reinforcement, then, just wants us to be better people.
And here's the thing. . .being grateful makes each one of us better people. I know I feel better if I reach out beyond myself to express gratitude - I've not only reinforced the bonds that tie us together, but I have done something good for another person.
So, write a few thank you cards and put them on co-worker's keyboards. Take someone to coffee as an expression of gratitude. Unexpectedly go out of your way to shake someone's hand and thank them for all of their hard work and contributions.
You will improve their lives. . .and yours.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I know this, though: even without thought, it is better to thank people, even in the most casual of circumstances, than it is to not thank people. It is minimally, polite. In an age when we all seem to be on edge, politeness and courtesy are much needed antidotes
Upon reflection, however, it has become more than that to me. The expression of thanks humbles us; it is a reminder that we are beholden to others for what we have. As much as we may like to believe that we are self-made and self-sufficient and may not need others - that is not the reality. In our society, every day and almost every minute we are reliant upon each other. The expression of thanks acknowledges that teamwork.
The expression of thanks, then, also builds bonds between us. And again, in a particularly divisive period in our history, this linkage from one to another is a good thing. Even if it may be someone with whom we disagree, to express thanks. . .to admit that we are reliant upon them. . .is a very good exercise.
If you appreciate others expressing gratitude toward you - then you know the following is true. It's a good feeling to be thanked. It is an acknowledgment of all of you've done or who you are. That reinforcement, then, just wants us to be better people.
And here's the thing. . .being grateful makes each one of us better people. I know I feel better if I reach out beyond myself to express gratitude - I've not only reinforced the bonds that tie us together, but I have done something good for another person.
So, write a few thank you cards and put them on co-worker's keyboards. Take someone to coffee as an expression of gratitude. Unexpectedly go out of your way to shake someone's hand and thank them for all of their hard work and contributions.
You will improve their lives. . .and yours.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 10, 2017
. . .and it's all about ME! The Dangers of the Me-Centric Leader.
Once I worked with an individual who consistently tried to make themselves the center of the universe. "I," "me," "my" were essentials in sentences. Any work accomplished by the team became self-credited to the leader. Insistently the team was referred to as "My people," until I just wanted to scream, old-testament style "Let MY PEOPLE go!"
Similarly, our president has a knack for making everything about him. For instance, his comments on foreign diplomats:
"The one that matters is me," Trump continued Thursday night. "I'm the only one that matters because when it comes to it, that's what the policy is going to be. You've seen that, you've seen it strongly."
Or when the individual he endorsed for the Virginia governor's race lost. . .
Gillespie "did not embrace me or what I stand for," Trump tweeted from Asia
Okay. So here are the problems associated with the Me-Centric leader:
1. The me-centric leader fairly screams: "Look at me, give me all of your attention, because basically I'm insecure at the core." No one really wants to follow someone who's insecure.
2. The me-centric leader effectively sucks all of the air out of the room; there is no oxygen left for the rest of us.
3. The me-centric leader disengages the remainder of the workforce. Translated: "If it's all about me - then it's not about you - and if it's not about you (or the team) then you cannot have a sense of ownership or responsibility." Organizationally - this is deadly.
4. Similarly, the me-centric leader leaves a whole lot of revenue/positive producing opportunity on the table by not including the remainder of the workforce. Great ideas are seldom the work of one; often great ideas are the work of many.
5. The me-centric leader makes all arrows point toward them: all of the energy is directed inward - there is no outbound energy. Ultimately that is a dynamic that makes everything and everyone surrounding the me-centric leader wither through a lack of nurturing.
6. And this is biggest challenge of all - the me-centric leader is living in an unrealistic world. In our societies - the message and the work has to be about all of us - not one of us.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, November 3, 2017
Truth and Will Among the Chaos
Observing the national scene over past months, it strikes me that ongoing chaos is both demoralizing and fatiguing. To quote Roseanne Roseannadanna ". . .if it ain't one thing it's another." Whether it's at work, at life or on the national scene. . .an unrelenting stream of craziness makes one just want to throw up their hands: "I quit."
But we can't - because then the chaos wins. There are two antidotes: truth and will.
The power of truth is undeniable; the search for truth is trickier. First of all, we must be committed to telling the truth - otherwise we are part of the problem. Secondly, we must be absolutely steadfast in finding the truth We must eschew that which is National Enquirer-esque; those broad, self-serving rumors which may or may not have a kernel of truth at the core. Instead we need to find facts, and utilize that which is foundational as our compass.
We must also spread the truth; I find that generally we are all too comfortable believing that which is said and in a sort of passive aggressive style refuse to refute that which is illegitimate.
Will. We must soldier on. In times when we feel that there is no hope, we must find hope. In times when we don't believe - we must find faith. And we must evangelize both of these. Chaos thrives in the quick sand of indetermination and failure; but in the light of sheer will and determination, ultimately chaos will fail - and we must believe in that.
These are the discussions of difficult times; we wish organizational dysfunction, game-playing, uncertainty and disorganization didn't exist. They do. They will continue to thrive unless there are those who have the integrity to abide and spread the truth. . .and have the determination to work for a better tomorrow.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
But we can't - because then the chaos wins. There are two antidotes: truth and will.
The power of truth is undeniable; the search for truth is trickier. First of all, we must be committed to telling the truth - otherwise we are part of the problem. Secondly, we must be absolutely steadfast in finding the truth We must eschew that which is National Enquirer-esque; those broad, self-serving rumors which may or may not have a kernel of truth at the core. Instead we need to find facts, and utilize that which is foundational as our compass.
We must also spread the truth; I find that generally we are all too comfortable believing that which is said and in a sort of passive aggressive style refuse to refute that which is illegitimate.
Will. We must soldier on. In times when we feel that there is no hope, we must find hope. In times when we don't believe - we must find faith. And we must evangelize both of these. Chaos thrives in the quick sand of indetermination and failure; but in the light of sheer will and determination, ultimately chaos will fail - and we must believe in that.
These are the discussions of difficult times; we wish organizational dysfunction, game-playing, uncertainty and disorganization didn't exist. They do. They will continue to thrive unless there are those who have the integrity to abide and spread the truth. . .and have the determination to work for a better tomorrow.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 27, 2017
The Limits
Business opportunities are missed. Careers are not brought to full fruition. Companies falter. Often the root cause is that we are too confounded by what we have convinced ourselves are our limitations. The embodiments of these can take many forms:
The key is to be willing to be both interrogative of one's self and one's intentions - and to engage in inquiry of the world at large:
There are legitimate boundaries: ethics, integrity, loyalty. These are honest and true. Other limiting factors, like ruts, fears and stubbornness are often not legitimate. Challenging these opens up a world of possibilities.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
- "This is the way I've always conducted my business - and I'm successful - so I'm not going to alter anything now."
- "I'm too afraid to step out."
- "The unknown is too dangerous."
- "I don't want to stick my neck out."
- "I just want to do things my way."
The key is to be willing to be both interrogative of one's self and one's intentions - and to engage in inquiry of the world at large:
- "Is the way I've always conducted my business going to keep me current - or ahead of the curve?"
- "What exactly am I afraid of ? Is it a fear that is rooted in fact or fantasy?
- "If it is the unknown that I'm afraid of - how do I get more information so that I am knowledgeable and sure-footed?"
- "Why is it is that I don't want to stick my neck out? What are the stakes?"
- "Why do I have to do things my way? Why am I stubborn? Maybe things would be better if I took options from many directions?"
There are legitimate boundaries: ethics, integrity, loyalty. These are honest and true. Other limiting factors, like ruts, fears and stubbornness are often not legitimate. Challenging these opens up a world of possibilities.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 20, 2017
How to Save a Lot of Time
There is an incredible amount of time spent in the office. . .trying to make better use of time at the office. My observation? In the midst of all of these efficiency discussions, we manage to pass over some of the biggest wasters of (all) time. We just don't want to talk about them - because it may rile someone - but heck, let's do it anyway.
Red Herrings. You may be in the midst of a really good discussion, or even a tense discussion - but at least you may be getting to the root cause. . .until. . .someone throws the reddest, most herringest of red herrings. A completely unrelated idea. . .a thought that originated on some far-off planet - that has absolutely no relationship to the topic at hand. And now you spend the next half hour, 3/4 day or seeming lifetime discussing something that has no relativity to business in the very least.
The Lack of Specifics aka The Inglorious Generalizations. You will instantly recognize this. The statement that is made to seem powerful through the very lack of facts. "Everyone says." "All of the store managers agree." "Lots of people are saying." Well, who would want to disagree with a seeming majority like that? The challenge is when you start to drill down, "So, who exactly have you heard that from?" "Well, uh, I know that Sue from accounting said that her sister-in-law said something about it." The amount of business intelligence that is sacrificed and the amount of time wasted through such rumors are equally frustrating.
Martyrdom. It is both a waste of time for the martyr ("look how much time I had to spend on the Spencer project") because really, nobody cares; and it is a waste of time to transfer the pain to those who are seemingly sympathetic enough to listen. Move on.
The Table Grenade. You may be in the midst of a very productive conversation and then someone (who obviously isn't getting enough attention) throws the "gonna burn hell down" statement on the table and an equally guilty party reacts. Anything that has been constructive is lost in a conflagration of Real Housewives charges and counter-punches.
The Refusal to Go Have a Conversation Already. E-mail is awesome; you can relay information in a quick manner and have a record of it. Some items, however, are too complicated, or too contentious, or too sensitive for e-mail to really be a good tool. Yet, we persist - and the lack of understanding piles upon itself until everyone is frustrated. Get out of your chair and go have a conversation already. Things will get done a lot of faster.
The point is this - with all of the talk about efficiency - often we ignore the greatest efficiencies of all. Be a great team player. Be honest. Have integrity. Use emotional and business intelligence.
You will save a lot of time.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Red Herrings. You may be in the midst of a really good discussion, or even a tense discussion - but at least you may be getting to the root cause. . .until. . .someone throws the reddest, most herringest of red herrings. A completely unrelated idea. . .a thought that originated on some far-off planet - that has absolutely no relationship to the topic at hand. And now you spend the next half hour, 3/4 day or seeming lifetime discussing something that has no relativity to business in the very least.
The Lack of Specifics aka The Inglorious Generalizations. You will instantly recognize this. The statement that is made to seem powerful through the very lack of facts. "Everyone says." "All of the store managers agree." "Lots of people are saying." Well, who would want to disagree with a seeming majority like that? The challenge is when you start to drill down, "So, who exactly have you heard that from?" "Well, uh, I know that Sue from accounting said that her sister-in-law said something about it." The amount of business intelligence that is sacrificed and the amount of time wasted through such rumors are equally frustrating.
Martyrdom. It is both a waste of time for the martyr ("look how much time I had to spend on the Spencer project") because really, nobody cares; and it is a waste of time to transfer the pain to those who are seemingly sympathetic enough to listen. Move on.
The Table Grenade. You may be in the midst of a very productive conversation and then someone (who obviously isn't getting enough attention) throws the "gonna burn hell down" statement on the table and an equally guilty party reacts. Anything that has been constructive is lost in a conflagration of Real Housewives charges and counter-punches.
The Refusal to Go Have a Conversation Already. E-mail is awesome; you can relay information in a quick manner and have a record of it. Some items, however, are too complicated, or too contentious, or too sensitive for e-mail to really be a good tool. Yet, we persist - and the lack of understanding piles upon itself until everyone is frustrated. Get out of your chair and go have a conversation already. Things will get done a lot of faster.
The point is this - with all of the talk about efficiency - often we ignore the greatest efficiencies of all. Be a great team player. Be honest. Have integrity. Use emotional and business intelligence.
You will save a lot of time.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 13, 2017
Running the Long Race. . .
While this morning's article by Ryan Derousseau, MSN Money, points to significant wins in Wal-Mart's e-commerce business; it also points out why the deck is stacked in favor of Amazon. The point is that many invest in Amazon on long-term growth potential vs. current profits and performance.
The owners are in it for the long race.
Often I've reflected that many companies do stupid things to keep stockholders happy in the short-term; in the process, they neglect the long-term health of the enterprise.
In a parallel, often we do stupid things in the workplace (and in our lives) for short-term gains; our focus falls far short of a more promising future.
To be sure, we all have to react to issues of the moment - but that must be balanced with the opportunities of the future:
What do you want your future enterprise to look like?
What do you want for yourself, professionally and personally, in five years? Ten years?
What do you desire for your team over the course of their professional careers?
In the next five years, what do you want your company to be known for? What do you want to be recognized for? What is it that will make your team superior in their performance? In a well-planned and better built future, what are the great opportunities that await?
Short term or knee jerk reactions often undermine the answers to the above questions. When you are facing the decisions of the hour; balance out what seems to be the most expedient answers with solutions that will build your team and your professional profile over the long-term. The bonus here is that the extra thought invested will not only give you a better product for the future, but also a superior solution for the here and now.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The owners are in it for the long race.
Often I've reflected that many companies do stupid things to keep stockholders happy in the short-term; in the process, they neglect the long-term health of the enterprise.
In a parallel, often we do stupid things in the workplace (and in our lives) for short-term gains; our focus falls far short of a more promising future.
To be sure, we all have to react to issues of the moment - but that must be balanced with the opportunities of the future:
What do you want your future enterprise to look like?
What do you want for yourself, professionally and personally, in five years? Ten years?
What do you desire for your team over the course of their professional careers?
In the next five years, what do you want your company to be known for? What do you want to be recognized for? What is it that will make your team superior in their performance? In a well-planned and better built future, what are the great opportunities that await?
Short term or knee jerk reactions often undermine the answers to the above questions. When you are facing the decisions of the hour; balance out what seems to be the most expedient answers with solutions that will build your team and your professional profile over the long-term. The bonus here is that the extra thought invested will not only give you a better product for the future, but also a superior solution for the here and now.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, October 6, 2017
Equality in the Workplace; Now More Than Ever, It's a Personal Responsibility
Let this not be lost among all of the other events of the week. From NBC News:
The Department of Justice released a memo Wednesday asserting that federal civil rights law does not protect transgender people from discrimination at work.
Disappointing. Frustrating. Infuriating.
I have been so fortunate to work in private enterprise that has emphasized the value of each and every individual. Many of our nation's largest corporations endorse the value and equality of all, regardless of ethnicity, religious affiliation, gender or sexual orientation. Many of our communities, organizations and places of worship have joined in this acceptance.
In the midst of this comes the Department of Justice memo that is the antithesis of leadership, but is instead representative of divisiveness and inequality. It does not represent the America that was created or is now. The memo, and the viewpoint it represents is not inclusive; but is instead narrow-minded and intends to take us backward. And from the standpoint that we are all created equal, it is morally bankrupt.
So what do we do?
We refuse to go backward.
We, instead, continue to march forward.
Again - many of America's private industries and non-profits have taken significant leadership on the issues of equality. Especially in the light of the current administration's insistence of segmentation, it requires all of us to remain firmly committed to inclusion - and to back that commitment with actions.
America, from the time of women fighting for the right to vote to freeing the slaves to the civil rights movement has exhibited world leadership on the issue of civil rights - we cannot stop now.
What the Department of Justice memo means is that a greater weight of true equality for all now falls to private enterprise. Let us bear that weight with the understandings that our individual contributions in the workplace and in our communities matter; and that we must support those efforts with added efforts on the national and political front. Beyond voting, we must campaign. We must stand up and drive forward for what is morally right!
Like it? By all means - share this!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The Department of Justice released a memo Wednesday asserting that federal civil rights law does not protect transgender people from discrimination at work.
Disappointing. Frustrating. Infuriating.
I have been so fortunate to work in private enterprise that has emphasized the value of each and every individual. Many of our nation's largest corporations endorse the value and equality of all, regardless of ethnicity, religious affiliation, gender or sexual orientation. Many of our communities, organizations and places of worship have joined in this acceptance.
In the midst of this comes the Department of Justice memo that is the antithesis of leadership, but is instead representative of divisiveness and inequality. It does not represent the America that was created or is now. The memo, and the viewpoint it represents is not inclusive; but is instead narrow-minded and intends to take us backward. And from the standpoint that we are all created equal, it is morally bankrupt.
So what do we do?
We refuse to go backward.
We, instead, continue to march forward.
Again - many of America's private industries and non-profits have taken significant leadership on the issues of equality. Especially in the light of the current administration's insistence of segmentation, it requires all of us to remain firmly committed to inclusion - and to back that commitment with actions.
America, from the time of women fighting for the right to vote to freeing the slaves to the civil rights movement has exhibited world leadership on the issue of civil rights - we cannot stop now.
What the Department of Justice memo means is that a greater weight of true equality for all now falls to private enterprise. Let us bear that weight with the understandings that our individual contributions in the workplace and in our communities matter; and that we must support those efforts with added efforts on the national and political front. Beyond voting, we must campaign. We must stand up and drive forward for what is morally right!
Like it? By all means - share this!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 29, 2017
The 8 Questions: An Important Conversation for Team Member Engagement
Have a conversation already!
One of the most powerful things a team leader can do is to engage in conversation with those she/he is privileged to work with. Unfortunately, the time for these conversations usually falls to the bottom of the priority list (which it shouldn't) in face of the pressing demands of the business. Equally unfortunate is that the annual review often is not productive in terms of getting team members to open up; it is shrouded in the anxiety of "what kind of rating am I going to get" and "how big of a raise will I receive."
All of which brought me to this: I schedule a time with each of my team members, without their supervisor, to just come into my office and talk. I explain to them that even though I take notes, this does not go into their HR file and is not a formal evaluation tool. This is their time to say what is on their mind. In advance, I provide them with the eight questions I want them to answer:
What is the mission of our company?
What is your role (your importance) in that mission?
How is the balance between your personal life and professional life?
Do you have the tools you need to do your job?
What do you want to do next, career-wise, within or outside of our company?
How can we enable you to do your job better/make your job more enjoyable?
What concerns may you have regarding your job?
If I knew what to ask you, what would I ask?
The first time you go through this - it may seem awkward, both to you and the team member. But as you do this with consistency (annually or semi-annually), both parties become more comfortable and relaxed. Also remember that this is a conversation; the individual's reply to one of the questions may lead both of you into a greater dialogue surrounding that specific subject - which is awesome!
I enter the process prepared to hear all sorts of both positive and negative feedback; I am also prepared to take immediate action (if appropriate) on what I hear. The latter validates the value of the team member and their contribution to their conversation.
More important than all of that, however, is that this conversation should open up an ongoing dialogue. If people have been reticent to approach you (which you really don't want), this literally opens the door to their input and the investment of one-to-one time acknowledges their ongoing contribution.
Some would say they can't afford the time to have such a conversation with their team members. Truth is, you can't afford not to.
Like it? Share it?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
One of the most powerful things a team leader can do is to engage in conversation with those she/he is privileged to work with. Unfortunately, the time for these conversations usually falls to the bottom of the priority list (which it shouldn't) in face of the pressing demands of the business. Equally unfortunate is that the annual review often is not productive in terms of getting team members to open up; it is shrouded in the anxiety of "what kind of rating am I going to get" and "how big of a raise will I receive."
All of which brought me to this: I schedule a time with each of my team members, without their supervisor, to just come into my office and talk. I explain to them that even though I take notes, this does not go into their HR file and is not a formal evaluation tool. This is their time to say what is on their mind. In advance, I provide them with the eight questions I want them to answer:
What is the mission of our company?
What is your role (your importance) in that mission?
How is the balance between your personal life and professional life?
Do you have the tools you need to do your job?
What do you want to do next, career-wise, within or outside of our company?
How can we enable you to do your job better/make your job more enjoyable?
What concerns may you have regarding your job?
If I knew what to ask you, what would I ask?
The first time you go through this - it may seem awkward, both to you and the team member. But as you do this with consistency (annually or semi-annually), both parties become more comfortable and relaxed. Also remember that this is a conversation; the individual's reply to one of the questions may lead both of you into a greater dialogue surrounding that specific subject - which is awesome!
I enter the process prepared to hear all sorts of both positive and negative feedback; I am also prepared to take immediate action (if appropriate) on what I hear. The latter validates the value of the team member and their contribution to their conversation.
More important than all of that, however, is that this conversation should open up an ongoing dialogue. If people have been reticent to approach you (which you really don't want), this literally opens the door to their input and the investment of one-to-one time acknowledges their ongoing contribution.
Some would say they can't afford the time to have such a conversation with their team members. Truth is, you can't afford not to.
Like it? Share it?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 22, 2017
Of Rocket Men and Dotards. . .
North Korea is in the testing phases of having the ability to launch nuclear missiles.
That should send a chill down your spine. At a time like this, the population of the world needs at least some reassurance that there is some gravity, some thought, some rational thinking that would help us avoid (minimally) a showdown or, worse yet (and may God forbid) an all out war.
Instead, we have the leaders of the United States and North Korea engaged in the very worst of Real Housewives type of behavior (actually, the Real Housewives would do it better - after four weeks they would at least meet face to face over a few stiff drinks and decide it was someone else's fault). Amidst all of the adjectives and word-mongering, Donald Trump has labeled Kim Jong Un "Rocket Man" and Kim Jong Un sent us scrambling to Google by labeling Donald Trump a "dotard."
For those of us concerned with the future of the world, its people and its prosperity - none of this is helpful. None of this contributes to a peaceful conclusion. And it is worrisome.
But, how often do we do the same thing in the workplace - whether with a competitor or with someone internally who we believe is a competitor (which, by the way, no one internally should be a competitor)? Instead of constructive dialogue or making a compromise or at least conducting ourselves with a modest amount of dignity. . .we lash out in the most elementary way possible. Does it destroy the fabric of what we are trying to create? Yes. Does it make the workforce feel positive? No.
Contrast the above name calling with what has happened in Germany. Angela Merkel will probably be re-elected Chancellor; this is a post she has had since 2005. From her name, the German people have developed a noun "merkeln." Loosely translated, it means steady and trustworthy and centered. Admittedly, this style is frustrating to some - but at the end of the day, most of the German population recognizes this down-to-earth style serves them well. They feel that they are well taken care of.
Further proof? The nickname the German people call Merkel is "mutti." In English, Mother.
Rocket Man? Dotard? Mother?
What would you rather the workforce called you?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
That should send a chill down your spine. At a time like this, the population of the world needs at least some reassurance that there is some gravity, some thought, some rational thinking that would help us avoid (minimally) a showdown or, worse yet (and may God forbid) an all out war.
Instead, we have the leaders of the United States and North Korea engaged in the very worst of Real Housewives type of behavior (actually, the Real Housewives would do it better - after four weeks they would at least meet face to face over a few stiff drinks and decide it was someone else's fault). Amidst all of the adjectives and word-mongering, Donald Trump has labeled Kim Jong Un "Rocket Man" and Kim Jong Un sent us scrambling to Google by labeling Donald Trump a "dotard."
For those of us concerned with the future of the world, its people and its prosperity - none of this is helpful. None of this contributes to a peaceful conclusion. And it is worrisome.
But, how often do we do the same thing in the workplace - whether with a competitor or with someone internally who we believe is a competitor (which, by the way, no one internally should be a competitor)? Instead of constructive dialogue or making a compromise or at least conducting ourselves with a modest amount of dignity. . .we lash out in the most elementary way possible. Does it destroy the fabric of what we are trying to create? Yes. Does it make the workforce feel positive? No.
Contrast the above name calling with what has happened in Germany. Angela Merkel will probably be re-elected Chancellor; this is a post she has had since 2005. From her name, the German people have developed a noun "merkeln." Loosely translated, it means steady and trustworthy and centered. Admittedly, this style is frustrating to some - but at the end of the day, most of the German population recognizes this down-to-earth style serves them well. They feel that they are well taken care of.
Further proof? The nickname the German people call Merkel is "mutti." In English, Mother.
Rocket Man? Dotard? Mother?
What would you rather the workforce called you?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Some New Thoughts on Time Management
Decades before I entered the workforce and decades after I exit the workforce, time management will be an issue. It seems that many of the seminars and the tons of books written on the subject are very tactical and prescriptive. Where is the thought innovation and the deeper strategy? Some ideas:
If you truly believe there will never be enough time, there certainly will never be.
Time doesn't run you, you run it.
Approaching time rigidly, with no flexibility. . .does not work.
Priorities are meant to be shifted. What seemed like a priority this morning may be less of one because of information you received this afternoon. Feel free to move things around. Your judgment around these issues is what makes time valuable. If priorities are absolutely rigid, work is approached from a dogmatic rather than pragmatic standpoint - and that is a waste of time.
The creation of enemies and the playing of internal "games" is a huge time waster. Everything about this moves you and the organization backward.
Silos and the lack of collaboration wastes time; these elements abuse human, communication and skill resources.
E-mail is often reviled as a time waster; it is not unless it is abused. E-mail, texting, messaging. . . are all very efficient ways of disseminating and collecting information quickly. If you are using e-mail in this manner - good for you! One of the popular "time management" techniques thrown around (and usually uttered with self-righteousness) is "I don't do e-mail until the end of the day." Think about this - how many people are wasting time waiting for your reply?
Which brings us to this: time management should not be approached as an insular topic. Think about how your time management decisions positively or negatively impact time usage for those you have the privilege of working with.
Hallway conversations with colleagues are not a waste of time - unless you are not learning anything or failing to establish a better working relationship with your peers. Even non-work related conversations ("What about those 'hawks?"), while often denigrated in time management seminars, are not a waste of time. By our very nature, we want and need to have those social interactions; they build rapport and they build knowledge.
Everyone should have a system that works to their style that supports them in managing their work.
It really comes down to this - the ability and willingness of the individual to use personal judgment in the appropriation of time. What really works for you?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
If you truly believe there will never be enough time, there certainly will never be.
Time doesn't run you, you run it.
Approaching time rigidly, with no flexibility. . .does not work.
Priorities are meant to be shifted. What seemed like a priority this morning may be less of one because of information you received this afternoon. Feel free to move things around. Your judgment around these issues is what makes time valuable. If priorities are absolutely rigid, work is approached from a dogmatic rather than pragmatic standpoint - and that is a waste of time.
The creation of enemies and the playing of internal "games" is a huge time waster. Everything about this moves you and the organization backward.
Silos and the lack of collaboration wastes time; these elements abuse human, communication and skill resources.
E-mail is often reviled as a time waster; it is not unless it is abused. E-mail, texting, messaging. . . are all very efficient ways of disseminating and collecting information quickly. If you are using e-mail in this manner - good for you! One of the popular "time management" techniques thrown around (and usually uttered with self-righteousness) is "I don't do e-mail until the end of the day." Think about this - how many people are wasting time waiting for your reply?
Which brings us to this: time management should not be approached as an insular topic. Think about how your time management decisions positively or negatively impact time usage for those you have the privilege of working with.
Hallway conversations with colleagues are not a waste of time - unless you are not learning anything or failing to establish a better working relationship with your peers. Even non-work related conversations ("What about those 'hawks?"), while often denigrated in time management seminars, are not a waste of time. By our very nature, we want and need to have those social interactions; they build rapport and they build knowledge.
Everyone should have a system that works to their style that supports them in managing their work.
It really comes down to this - the ability and willingness of the individual to use personal judgment in the appropriation of time. What really works for you?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, September 8, 2017
Microsoft's Extraordinary Moral Stand
Often there is a lot of talk about corporations standing with their team members; sometimes followed by a lot of inaction. This past week, coming out of the shadow of the President's decision to rescind DACA, Microsoft, as well as many other corporate influencers, made strong commitments to their workforce.
On the Microsoft blog, Brad Smith, President and Chief Legal Officer of Microsoft wrote: "We are deeply disappointed by the administration's decision today to rescind protection under the program for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). As we said last week, we believe this is a big step back for our entire country."
There it is - the "putting our neck out" statement that has been all too uncommon among corporate cultures when issues this vital are on the national agenda. Beyond the words, however, came the commitment to a plan of action. In the blog, Smith urges congress to protect the Dreamers as a priority, even before it takes up the money issue of tax reform. "We say this even though Microsoft, like many other companies, cares greatly about modernizing the tax system and making it fairer and more competitive. But we need to put the humanitarian needs of these 800,000 people on the legislative calendar before a tax bill."
Microsoft outlines the compelling financial reason for this, but then goes on to make the ethical case. "As this debate moves forward, we need to remember that these 800,000 individuals came to our nation as children. They grew up in this country. They attended our local schools and count millions of American citizens as friends. They obey our laws, pay taxes here and have registered voluntarily with the federal government for DACA relief. They are loyal to this country and contribute their time and money to local churches, schools and community groups. The Dreamers are part of our nation's fabric. They belong here."
But is Microsoft prepared to put its money to support it's words? "For the 39 Dreamers that we know of who are our employees, our commitment is clear. If congress fails to act, our company will exercise its legal rights properly to help protect our employees. If the government seeks to deport any one of them, we will provide and pay for their legal counsel. We will also file an amicus brief and explore whether we can directly intervene in any such case. In short, if Dreamers who are our employees are in court, we will be by their side."
It's worth noting the ratio. 39 people - out of a workforce of tens of thousands. It would be very convenient to ignore such a small number; Microsoft is doing the opposite, they are making a major effort to support this group.
Microsoft is displaying the moral courage, leadership and ethics that is currently lacking in the administrative and legislative branches.
And it is inspiring.
By all means - share this!
On the Microsoft blog, Brad Smith, President and Chief Legal Officer of Microsoft wrote: "We are deeply disappointed by the administration's decision today to rescind protection under the program for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). As we said last week, we believe this is a big step back for our entire country."
There it is - the "putting our neck out" statement that has been all too uncommon among corporate cultures when issues this vital are on the national agenda. Beyond the words, however, came the commitment to a plan of action. In the blog, Smith urges congress to protect the Dreamers as a priority, even before it takes up the money issue of tax reform. "We say this even though Microsoft, like many other companies, cares greatly about modernizing the tax system and making it fairer and more competitive. But we need to put the humanitarian needs of these 800,000 people on the legislative calendar before a tax bill."
Microsoft outlines the compelling financial reason for this, but then goes on to make the ethical case. "As this debate moves forward, we need to remember that these 800,000 individuals came to our nation as children. They grew up in this country. They attended our local schools and count millions of American citizens as friends. They obey our laws, pay taxes here and have registered voluntarily with the federal government for DACA relief. They are loyal to this country and contribute their time and money to local churches, schools and community groups. The Dreamers are part of our nation's fabric. They belong here."
But is Microsoft prepared to put its money to support it's words? "For the 39 Dreamers that we know of who are our employees, our commitment is clear. If congress fails to act, our company will exercise its legal rights properly to help protect our employees. If the government seeks to deport any one of them, we will provide and pay for their legal counsel. We will also file an amicus brief and explore whether we can directly intervene in any such case. In short, if Dreamers who are our employees are in court, we will be by their side."
It's worth noting the ratio. 39 people - out of a workforce of tens of thousands. It would be very convenient to ignore such a small number; Microsoft is doing the opposite, they are making a major effort to support this group.
Microsoft is displaying the moral courage, leadership and ethics that is currently lacking in the administrative and legislative branches.
And it is inspiring.
By all means - share this!
Friday, September 1, 2017
Are You the Reason People Want to Come to Work?
It's that time of year when we honor the workforce. This means it is also the perfect time to re-state that work should be enjoyed. That's not to mean it's not hard work. . .or that it's not complicated. . .or that there won't be things that we hate - but that overall, work exhibits part of our purpose in life and that we enjoy that purpose.
Which brings us to this question of responsibility and ownership: are you the reason people want to come to work?
Each of us should own this responsibility. If we truly want work to be more enjoyable, then we ourselves, and the way we conduct business, must also be enjoyable. These, then, are the questions:
Are people happy to see you when they show up for work?
Do people feel that you are additive to the workplace?
In the way that you interact, do people feel better about themselves?
Do people feel that they can confide in you?
Do you genuinely have peoples' backs?
Do you exhibit both business smarts and emotional intelligence?
Is integrity a very important part of your work?
Knowing that you will sometimes have to do things that people don't like, do you generally conduct your business in such a way that people like you?
Do you honor diverse viewpoints? Are you collaborative?
Are you unselfish?
If you can answer these questions "yes," you are a reason why people want to come to work. If the majority of your workplace can answer these questions positively - you have a terrific team; you will retain and attract like talent.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Which brings us to this question of responsibility and ownership: are you the reason people want to come to work?
Each of us should own this responsibility. If we truly want work to be more enjoyable, then we ourselves, and the way we conduct business, must also be enjoyable. These, then, are the questions:
Are people happy to see you when they show up for work?
Do people feel that you are additive to the workplace?
In the way that you interact, do people feel better about themselves?
Do people feel that they can confide in you?
Do you genuinely have peoples' backs?
Do you exhibit both business smarts and emotional intelligence?
Is integrity a very important part of your work?
Knowing that you will sometimes have to do things that people don't like, do you generally conduct your business in such a way that people like you?
Do you honor diverse viewpoints? Are you collaborative?
Are you unselfish?
If you can answer these questions "yes," you are a reason why people want to come to work. If the majority of your workplace can answer these questions positively - you have a terrific team; you will retain and attract like talent.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 25, 2017
We all. . .
In the fitness world, there is a lot of conversation about the core. In evaluating companies or organizations, there is always the question, "What are the core strengths?" To me, our core is our diversity, but it should also be the recognition of those most basic things that bind us together. In an age of divisiveness, let's recognize the commonality among us. . .
We all have a purpose in life.
We all make mistakes.
We all do stupid stuff.
We all need to be forgiven. . .and to forgive.
To varying degrees, we all face injustices; this should enable us to seek justice and equality for all.
We all need to be loved.
We will never know all sides of a story, yet. . .
We all have a thirst for knowledge that should never be quenched.
We will never be right 100% of the time. . .or maybe 75% of the time. . .or even 50% of the time.
We all need to know that someone cares.
We need friends.
We need to determine what feeds our soul and pursue that.
We all work; we all play.
We all have different talents.
We all look at life slightly, or a lot, differently.
We are all different; this is why diversity matters.
And yet, we are very much the same.
Like it? Share it?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
We all have a purpose in life.
We all make mistakes.
We all do stupid stuff.
We all need to be forgiven. . .and to forgive.
To varying degrees, we all face injustices; this should enable us to seek justice and equality for all.
We all need to be loved.
We will never know all sides of a story, yet. . .
We all have a thirst for knowledge that should never be quenched.
We will never be right 100% of the time. . .or maybe 75% of the time. . .or even 50% of the time.
We all need to know that someone cares.
We need friends.
We need to determine what feeds our soul and pursue that.
We all work; we all play.
We all have different talents.
We all look at life slightly, or a lot, differently.
We are all different; this is why diversity matters.
And yet, we are very much the same.
Like it? Share it?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 18, 2017
Outlook - AKA. . .?
I think people hate e-mail because people abuse e-mail. Perhaps companies should just change Outlook to suit the needs of the chronic e-mail abusers. . .
ATTENTION ALL TEAM MEMBERS
Our committed members of "Efficiency 2018 Committee" have made their recommendations. One of these will be fully implemented next Friday. We are permanently disabling the "Reply" button on Outlook. No one is using it anyway and it seems misleading to leave it active - it only leads our people to false hopes that someone will read their efforts and possibly respond. . .
or. . .
GOOD NEWS - "REPLY ALL" JUST GOT EASIER!
Great news from our IT department. Since all of you just hit the "Reply All" button regardless - this is now going to be your only choice. But wait, it's enhanced - not only will it "Reply All" to each addressee, but your witty commentary will be sent to every individual within our eco-universe. You may also add a custom list so that your reply will also go to your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, members of your church, people you see in the grocery store. . .all of the people who hang on each and every word that disgorges from your keyboard!
or. . .
OUTLOOK IS NOW "PROJECT MISSILE LAUNCH"
In recognition of those who prefer a passive aggressive style of communication, this new name pays tribute to all of you who carefully avoid confrontation like the plague but choose instead to craft poison pen e-mails in the cave-like atmosphere of your dank, dark cubicle. You may then gleefully launch these flaming bombs not only to the addressee but also cc anyone else who you want to impress with your ultimate villainy.
but wait, there's more. . .the enhanced version is
OUTLOOK IS NOW "WORLD AT WAR WITHOUT END"
Due to the tremendous success of Project Missile Launch, we offer an enhanced version so that both authors and responders can engage in non-stop verbal warfare using the longest, most rational-free sentences in the universe. Program offers auto-insert of popular, inflammatory phrases like, "I smite thee" or "May the wrath of our accounts payable department rain hot coals upon your head." Unlimited response privileges - it can go on for hours. . .days. . .years, even!
OUTLOOK WILL NOW STRENGTHEN YOUR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
"How is this possible, you ask?" Simple. If your e-mail extends beyond 5 concise paragraphs or should be replaced with a personal conversation, Outlook will automatically disable your keyboard, forcing you to forsake a digital word salad for what should be a face to face interaction.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
ATTENTION ALL TEAM MEMBERS
Our committed members of "Efficiency 2018 Committee" have made their recommendations. One of these will be fully implemented next Friday. We are permanently disabling the "Reply" button on Outlook. No one is using it anyway and it seems misleading to leave it active - it only leads our people to false hopes that someone will read their efforts and possibly respond. . .
or. . .
GOOD NEWS - "REPLY ALL" JUST GOT EASIER!
Great news from our IT department. Since all of you just hit the "Reply All" button regardless - this is now going to be your only choice. But wait, it's enhanced - not only will it "Reply All" to each addressee, but your witty commentary will be sent to every individual within our eco-universe. You may also add a custom list so that your reply will also go to your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, members of your church, people you see in the grocery store. . .all of the people who hang on each and every word that disgorges from your keyboard!
or. . .
OUTLOOK IS NOW "PROJECT MISSILE LAUNCH"
In recognition of those who prefer a passive aggressive style of communication, this new name pays tribute to all of you who carefully avoid confrontation like the plague but choose instead to craft poison pen e-mails in the cave-like atmosphere of your dank, dark cubicle. You may then gleefully launch these flaming bombs not only to the addressee but also cc anyone else who you want to impress with your ultimate villainy.
but wait, there's more. . .the enhanced version is
OUTLOOK IS NOW "WORLD AT WAR WITHOUT END"
Due to the tremendous success of Project Missile Launch, we offer an enhanced version so that both authors and responders can engage in non-stop verbal warfare using the longest, most rational-free sentences in the universe. Program offers auto-insert of popular, inflammatory phrases like, "I smite thee" or "May the wrath of our accounts payable department rain hot coals upon your head." Unlimited response privileges - it can go on for hours. . .days. . .years, even!
OUTLOOK WILL NOW STRENGTHEN YOUR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
"How is this possible, you ask?" Simple. If your e-mail extends beyond 5 concise paragraphs or should be replaced with a personal conversation, Outlook will automatically disable your keyboard, forcing you to forsake a digital word salad for what should be a face to face interaction.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 11, 2017
Absolution from "Shoulds"
Properly defined, the word "should" is in the middle of the spectrum that at one end is "I choose to float through life on a unicorn and responsibility is a word that I don't understand" and on the other extreme is "I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD AND THERE ISN'T ANYONE WHO CARES BUT ME!" "Should", property defined, expresses respect and ownership. A few of the proper uses of the word would be:
"I should care about others less fortunate than me."
"I should be ethical."
"I should put the toilet seat down."
Many of us, however, suffer from over-indexing on "should" to the extreme, and in the process, become so tied up in anxiety that it becomes nearly impossible to function, not to mention having the ability to do all of the good things we wish to do. "Should" should be good. "Should" should have balance. With that in mind, let me offer absolution to some "shoulds" that you may be experiencing.
"I should enjoy my job and I feel guilty because I don't." Stop it. You should be grateful you have an income, but don't confuse that with enjoying your job. I believe work is meant to be enjoyed, but some jobs don't offer that satisfaction. If yours doesn't, don't guilt yourself into believing it does. Find yourself a better job.
"I should be able to work an 8-10 hour day, come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner, exercise, serve on the neighborhood board and still find some me-time. . ." Nope. You are officially absolved. You may be tired, irritable and exhausted. . .because that's what any normal person would be.
"I should be able to afford a better house/car/second house/better wardrobe/send my kid to an Ivy League school/retire at age 45. . ." Whoa, whoa, whoa. All this becomes longing for that which probably can't be. . .at least, all at once. Find joy in what you do have. . .more will come. . .all in good time.
"I should be a better friend." I don't know what that means. If there is an actionable specific, like "I should set aside a little more time to spend with my best friend," that's good. Any "should" that is vague is not actionable - and that doesn't help anyone.
"I should be thinner/more punctual/a better driver/a thriftier shopper/a world traveler. . ." There is a difference between aspirations and "shoulds" that drive you crazy. If you aspire to something, that's a goal to reach. To position such statements as "shoulds" suggests you're negligent, which isn't the case.
"I should have less 'shoulds' in my life." This would be a proper use of the word "should."
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
"I should care about others less fortunate than me."
"I should be ethical."
"I should put the toilet seat down."
Many of us, however, suffer from over-indexing on "should" to the extreme, and in the process, become so tied up in anxiety that it becomes nearly impossible to function, not to mention having the ability to do all of the good things we wish to do. "Should" should be good. "Should" should have balance. With that in mind, let me offer absolution to some "shoulds" that you may be experiencing.
"I should enjoy my job and I feel guilty because I don't." Stop it. You should be grateful you have an income, but don't confuse that with enjoying your job. I believe work is meant to be enjoyed, but some jobs don't offer that satisfaction. If yours doesn't, don't guilt yourself into believing it does. Find yourself a better job.
"I should be able to work an 8-10 hour day, come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner, exercise, serve on the neighborhood board and still find some me-time. . ." Nope. You are officially absolved. You may be tired, irritable and exhausted. . .because that's what any normal person would be.
"I should be able to afford a better house/car/second house/better wardrobe/send my kid to an Ivy League school/retire at age 45. . ." Whoa, whoa, whoa. All this becomes longing for that which probably can't be. . .at least, all at once. Find joy in what you do have. . .more will come. . .all in good time.
"I should be a better friend." I don't know what that means. If there is an actionable specific, like "I should set aside a little more time to spend with my best friend," that's good. Any "should" that is vague is not actionable - and that doesn't help anyone.
"I should be thinner/more punctual/a better driver/a thriftier shopper/a world traveler. . ." There is a difference between aspirations and "shoulds" that drive you crazy. If you aspire to something, that's a goal to reach. To position such statements as "shoulds" suggests you're negligent, which isn't the case.
"I should have less 'shoulds' in my life." This would be a proper use of the word "should."
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Holding On to That Hurt. . .
For several weeks, I have been subject to varying degrees of back pain; finally I sought the help of a massage therapist to relax the muscles and get things to a better place. During the first few minutes of massage work, I'm struck by how difficult it initially is to relax. . .to let go. It's like the back pain has become part of me and my body is, to some degree, is reluctant to give it up.
Similarly, I have found in my own experience, and in my observation of others - that often we are reluctant to let go of those situations that have been unfair or caused us pain.
To varying degrees, we have all experienced bad things in our lives. Like all of life's experiences, these events become part of our DNA. As a learning experience it can mold and shape us; it should not become a way of living life.
The unfairness of a situation hurts a victim once; but if the victim refuses to let go of it, it hurts the victim for a lifetime.
It is one of the common misconceptions that if we hold onto a hurtful experience, we are gaining retribution against those who have wronged us: "I'm never going to shop at that store again." "I'm never going to speak with her in my lifetime." "After that experience, I will never trust anyone." The person who is hurt the most by these statements is not the subject. . .but the speaker.
I've seen people hold onto hurt with a vise-like grip for, no kidding, decades. For what purpose? The holding of a grudge only serves to make us bitter people, or fearful people. . . it makes us individuals who are incapable of forgiving, learning and moving on.
Moving on is the goal. If we allow ourselves the privilege of going forward, we are then unstuck. We are then productive. We can then see the world clearly - both for the better and the worst. If we are stuck, however, it is a very one dimensional and sad place to be.
The popular saying of "life is not fair" is too easy. . .it's too cynical without engaging in critical thinking. Certainly elements of life are not fair. . .and that is often very bad. Ultimately, however, our internalization of these things should be lessons of learning, inquiries into equality and the opportunity to turn that which wasn't good into something that can make the world (and ourselves) better.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Similarly, I have found in my own experience, and in my observation of others - that often we are reluctant to let go of those situations that have been unfair or caused us pain.
To varying degrees, we have all experienced bad things in our lives. Like all of life's experiences, these events become part of our DNA. As a learning experience it can mold and shape us; it should not become a way of living life.
The unfairness of a situation hurts a victim once; but if the victim refuses to let go of it, it hurts the victim for a lifetime.
It is one of the common misconceptions that if we hold onto a hurtful experience, we are gaining retribution against those who have wronged us: "I'm never going to shop at that store again." "I'm never going to speak with her in my lifetime." "After that experience, I will never trust anyone." The person who is hurt the most by these statements is not the subject. . .but the speaker.
I've seen people hold onto hurt with a vise-like grip for, no kidding, decades. For what purpose? The holding of a grudge only serves to make us bitter people, or fearful people. . . it makes us individuals who are incapable of forgiving, learning and moving on.
Moving on is the goal. If we allow ourselves the privilege of going forward, we are then unstuck. We are then productive. We can then see the world clearly - both for the better and the worst. If we are stuck, however, it is a very one dimensional and sad place to be.
The popular saying of "life is not fair" is too easy. . .it's too cynical without engaging in critical thinking. Certainly elements of life are not fair. . .and that is often very bad. Ultimately, however, our internalization of these things should be lessons of learning, inquiries into equality and the opportunity to turn that which wasn't good into something that can make the world (and ourselves) better.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 28, 2017
The Headline
The headline to the story is a high level summary of what one can expect. It is meant to communicate, tantalize and intrigue.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to think about my personal headlines. I was driving to the eastside of greater Seattle to have coffee with a valued friend. This was an individual who I had not seen in too-long-of-a-time. My intent was to reconnect and communicate importance. Meanwhile, there I was. . stuck in some suburban traffic hellhole that was frustrating beyond belief. My base instinct, upon greeting my friend was to vent (in what now will be known as an Anthony Scaramucci-style rant). "This (expletive deleted) traffic just SUCKS!"
I did not do this (because I thought about it); that opening line, that headline would not have set the stage for all of the good that I wanted to have happen. My headline instead was, "It is so good to see you - I have really missed you."
Often I think we face similar situations; in our minds our purpose and intent is positive and clear - but often we end up blurting out a knee-jerk reaction or our emotion of the moment. We have to ask ourselves - are we setting up positive reactions with our audience?
We know the place we are coming from. . .but our audience does not. That first point of contact, that headline, is critical in setting expectations. A random comment about what we feel at the moment often doesn't create positive anticipation; a genuine statement about our intent and our primary purpose not only creates framework, but contributes to the good intent of the conversation.
People who are really good at speech making know this dynamic. Strong marketers know this. You only have a few seconds at the beginning to truly engage the people with whom you are conversing.
What are your headlines?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to think about my personal headlines. I was driving to the eastside of greater Seattle to have coffee with a valued friend. This was an individual who I had not seen in too-long-of-a-time. My intent was to reconnect and communicate importance. Meanwhile, there I was. . stuck in some suburban traffic hellhole that was frustrating beyond belief. My base instinct, upon greeting my friend was to vent (in what now will be known as an Anthony Scaramucci-style rant). "This (expletive deleted) traffic just SUCKS!"
I did not do this (because I thought about it); that opening line, that headline would not have set the stage for all of the good that I wanted to have happen. My headline instead was, "It is so good to see you - I have really missed you."
Often I think we face similar situations; in our minds our purpose and intent is positive and clear - but often we end up blurting out a knee-jerk reaction or our emotion of the moment. We have to ask ourselves - are we setting up positive reactions with our audience?
We know the place we are coming from. . .but our audience does not. That first point of contact, that headline, is critical in setting expectations. A random comment about what we feel at the moment often doesn't create positive anticipation; a genuine statement about our intent and our primary purpose not only creates framework, but contributes to the good intent of the conversation.
People who are really good at speech making know this dynamic. Strong marketers know this. You only have a few seconds at the beginning to truly engage the people with whom you are conversing.
What are your headlines?
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 21, 2017
The Wealth to Lead. . .
Creeping into American culture (especially political culture) is the idea that if someone is monetarily rich they are automatically qualified to lead significant parts of society. The theory goes that if they have been skilled enough to amass currency, stocks and bonds. . .then they certainly are qualified to warrant the following of the masses.
Let me be very clear on two things: I don't think that having a lot of money is a bad thing - in fact, it often is a very good thing. I also don't think that having a lot of money automatically qualifies someone to take a position of leadership.
Yet, I believe that leaders need to be wealthy. . .
Leaders need to have significant internal fortitude and organic confidence so that they are not shaken by every perceived slight. . .or everything that goes wrong.
Leaders need to be rich in relationships. . .with their peers, with their bosses, with those they have the privilege of leading.
A wealth of knowledge. . .and the desire to learn more is key for leadership.
People that others want to follow have an abundance of respect for diversity. . .this not only includes racial, religious, sexual orientation, etc. . .but it includes the multiple layers of economic diversity. And by respect, I mean the ability to understand, or at least want to understand, how others live and how others think. This is essential for a strong team and a strong society.
Leaders are rich in empathy.
Strong leaders have huge vaults of compassion, integrity, honesty. . .and most of all, selflessness that are available to use on demand.
Strong leaders are wealthy in emotional intelligence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Let me be very clear on two things: I don't think that having a lot of money is a bad thing - in fact, it often is a very good thing. I also don't think that having a lot of money automatically qualifies someone to take a position of leadership.
Yet, I believe that leaders need to be wealthy. . .
Leaders need to have significant internal fortitude and organic confidence so that they are not shaken by every perceived slight. . .or everything that goes wrong.
Leaders need to be rich in relationships. . .with their peers, with their bosses, with those they have the privilege of leading.
A wealth of knowledge. . .and the desire to learn more is key for leadership.
People that others want to follow have an abundance of respect for diversity. . .this not only includes racial, religious, sexual orientation, etc. . .but it includes the multiple layers of economic diversity. And by respect, I mean the ability to understand, or at least want to understand, how others live and how others think. This is essential for a strong team and a strong society.
Leaders are rich in empathy.
Strong leaders have huge vaults of compassion, integrity, honesty. . .and most of all, selflessness that are available to use on demand.
Strong leaders are wealthy in emotional intelligence.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 14, 2017
That Extra Word . . .or Two
This is dedicated to the idea that the relationship is everything. . .and that often it is incredibly easy to establish and build upon a relationship. Sometimes just a word or two. . .
I received an e-mail today from a business that I haven't frequented for a long time; it was part of a process of setting an appointment. The sign-off on the very polite e-mail was this: Happy (Almost!) Friday.
Those parenthesis and the "almost!" were a such a great touch. The writer broke away from the form and in a very convivial style put in a little personality - a little extra effort that was made just for me. And it made me feel good.
Similarly, I often consider why it is that a coffee shop can be directly across the street from Starbucks and often the Starbucks has the long lines of customers that breed envy from the competition. From my personal experience, it's the difference in the way the person behind the Starbuck's counter treats me. More consistently, they are usually friendly, ask how I'm doing. . .and in a very informal fashion communicate to me that I'm important. (And if you've ever taken a Starbuck's customer satisfaction survey, you know that one of the key questions is "The team member made an effort to get to know me.")
Such small gestures that carry such great power. Simple things:
An acknowledgment in the hallway.
A smile.
"Good morning, how was your commute today?"
Opening the door for someone.
"Thank you for generating that report."
"What you did today was genius."
"I'm so glad you took the initiative today."
Or even, "I want you to know that I care about your welfare - I want you to take a vacation/day off/leave a few hours early."
These extra words. . .the kind gesture. . .it all goes so far to establish a relationship.
And the relationship is everything.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I received an e-mail today from a business that I haven't frequented for a long time; it was part of a process of setting an appointment. The sign-off on the very polite e-mail was this: Happy (Almost!) Friday.
Those parenthesis and the "almost!" were a such a great touch. The writer broke away from the form and in a very convivial style put in a little personality - a little extra effort that was made just for me. And it made me feel good.
Similarly, I often consider why it is that a coffee shop can be directly across the street from Starbucks and often the Starbucks has the long lines of customers that breed envy from the competition. From my personal experience, it's the difference in the way the person behind the Starbuck's counter treats me. More consistently, they are usually friendly, ask how I'm doing. . .and in a very informal fashion communicate to me that I'm important. (And if you've ever taken a Starbuck's customer satisfaction survey, you know that one of the key questions is "The team member made an effort to get to know me.")
Such small gestures that carry such great power. Simple things:
An acknowledgment in the hallway.
A smile.
"Good morning, how was your commute today?"
Opening the door for someone.
"Thank you for generating that report."
"What you did today was genius."
"I'm so glad you took the initiative today."
Or even, "I want you to know that I care about your welfare - I want you to take a vacation/day off/leave a few hours early."
These extra words. . .the kind gesture. . .it all goes so far to establish a relationship.
And the relationship is everything.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, July 7, 2017
Right in the Center
Every once in awhile I do this self-check: am I centered? Am I eating right? Exercising? Thoughts both positive and realistic? Driven by the opportunities ahead? Am I generally happy? All of these are strong indicators to me that I am centered.
There is another center I consider. For almost every issue, emotion and realm of possibility - there are two extremes. . .and a world of options in between those extremes. For instance, is a person a controller or not a controller at all? Does an issue require someone stepping in and taking charge or no intervention at all? Is someone very conservative or very liberal? When considering buying a house - should we spend our very last penny - or should we not buy at all and save every last penny? Almost everything we face in life could be described in this type of sliding scale between two extremes.
What I find comforting in looking at life through this lens of sliding scales is that it presents so many possibilities. Often we come to believe the solution is either black or white, one extreme or the other. . .but the creativity in problem solving (and life living) is often in the greys.
Here too, I find myself often seeking the center of whatever scale I am considering. Since we have many options, there are occasions I'm more inclined to one extreme or the other. Let's take the issue of control. If a project is floundering and there are a lack of resources - I may go more to the extreme of stepping in and taking total control. If, on the other hand, things are running very smoothly, I will go more to the extreme of no intervention whatsoever. More commonly, however, I find myself working in a range that is closer to the center
This ability, this creativity allows us to better prioritize and meet whatever needs we are facing. If we always respond to issues in one extreme or another - it gives us very little flexibility to address issues quickly.
This brings me to the opening paragraph. I find that if I work in the center of these sliding scales of opportunity - I am usually healthier, more productive, happier. . .in short, I am more centered.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
There is another center I consider. For almost every issue, emotion and realm of possibility - there are two extremes. . .and a world of options in between those extremes. For instance, is a person a controller or not a controller at all? Does an issue require someone stepping in and taking charge or no intervention at all? Is someone very conservative or very liberal? When considering buying a house - should we spend our very last penny - or should we not buy at all and save every last penny? Almost everything we face in life could be described in this type of sliding scale between two extremes.
What I find comforting in looking at life through this lens of sliding scales is that it presents so many possibilities. Often we come to believe the solution is either black or white, one extreme or the other. . .but the creativity in problem solving (and life living) is often in the greys.
Here too, I find myself often seeking the center of whatever scale I am considering. Since we have many options, there are occasions I'm more inclined to one extreme or the other. Let's take the issue of control. If a project is floundering and there are a lack of resources - I may go more to the extreme of stepping in and taking total control. If, on the other hand, things are running very smoothly, I will go more to the extreme of no intervention whatsoever. More commonly, however, I find myself working in a range that is closer to the center
This ability, this creativity allows us to better prioritize and meet whatever needs we are facing. If we always respond to issues in one extreme or another - it gives us very little flexibility to address issues quickly.
This brings me to the opening paragraph. I find that if I work in the center of these sliding scales of opportunity - I am usually healthier, more productive, happier. . .in short, I am more centered.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 30, 2017
Just a Kind Word. . .
People don't know what's going on with you. You may be doing a really terrific job of hiding that you are having a lousy day. They may not know that a peer was incredibly inconsiderate of you. The fact that you are struggling at home, or with friends, may go completely unnoticed. The idea that you're insecure about your most recent HR action probably doesn't even register.
So when someone says something nice to you. . .when they take a moment to acknowledge you. . .when they tell you what a great job you did or how incredible your workplace looks - it really means a lot to you. Your whole day just got a lot better.
You don't know what's going on with those around you. . .that maybe they feel unappreciated, or lonely or threatened. That maybe a little word from you would just change their world for the better.
So let's look for the good. The little and the good. What a great job someone did on a major (or minor) project. Or how much you always appreciate how dependable they are. Or how well they do their job. . .or collaborate with their peers. Tell them how they have positively impacted your life, the life of their co-workers and the workplace in general.
Thank them. Again and again.
Take time to look up and out. Say hello to your co-workers when you arrive in the morning; wish them a pleasant evening when you leave. Get water to fill up the coffee maker; get someone a cup of tea. Bring them chocolate.
In a world that is currently crying out for civility - let's go one better. Go beyond. . .make your place and their place. . . a better place.
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So when someone says something nice to you. . .when they take a moment to acknowledge you. . .when they tell you what a great job you did or how incredible your workplace looks - it really means a lot to you. Your whole day just got a lot better.
You don't know what's going on with those around you. . .that maybe they feel unappreciated, or lonely or threatened. That maybe a little word from you would just change their world for the better.
So let's look for the good. The little and the good. What a great job someone did on a major (or minor) project. Or how much you always appreciate how dependable they are. Or how well they do their job. . .or collaborate with their peers. Tell them how they have positively impacted your life, the life of their co-workers and the workplace in general.
Thank them. Again and again.
Take time to look up and out. Say hello to your co-workers when you arrive in the morning; wish them a pleasant evening when you leave. Get water to fill up the coffee maker; get someone a cup of tea. Bring them chocolate.
In a world that is currently crying out for civility - let's go one better. Go beyond. . .make your place and their place. . . a better place.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Friday, June 23, 2017
No Such Thing as a Perfect World. . .
We have been raised in a culture that has a certain definition and penchant for perfection. From the get-go, getting all the answers right on a test in school gets you high praise - you were supposed to get everything right. If religious, we are supposed to be in the image of the deity, in other words - perfect. Now layer on how in the past decades we've approached life; we've supposedly made everything easier. . .and quicker. We expect everything to go according to plan. . .and there's not anything particularly wrong with that. . .except that it is the very nature of life that not everything is going to go according to plan.
And then what do we do?
With the preoccupation of perfection. . .are we really prepared to deal with imperfection?
Here's the deal that we, in our desire for perfection, often ignore. We have a whole tool box that we've been given to help us deal with the inevitability that things will not always go our way. Resilience. Patience. Hope. Negotiation. Options (usually lots and lots of options). The list goes on. . .
Instead of using these wonderful resources, often we become so frustrated that things aren't going our way that we lash out. . .or give up hope. . .or just keep doing what we've been doing. Honestly, those things make what might be slight imperfections. . .HUGE PROBLEMS.
Reality? There's no such thing as a perfect world. . .and the wondrous thing is that we are able to deal with that - and should deal with that.
The lesson from nature. I suppose we could look at a "perfect" scenario" of a stream, with tree-lined banks on a sunny day of 72 degrees or so. And the truth about nature is that there are days like that. . .and there are days when wind storms take down those beautiful trees. . .or that placid stream floods over the shoreline. . .or the cold makes all of the deciduous vegetation unseasonably late. And then nature calls upon its innate resources to repair itself.
That's what we must do as well. . .because that's what we've been made to do.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And then what do we do?
With the preoccupation of perfection. . .are we really prepared to deal with imperfection?
Here's the deal that we, in our desire for perfection, often ignore. We have a whole tool box that we've been given to help us deal with the inevitability that things will not always go our way. Resilience. Patience. Hope. Negotiation. Options (usually lots and lots of options). The list goes on. . .
Instead of using these wonderful resources, often we become so frustrated that things aren't going our way that we lash out. . .or give up hope. . .or just keep doing what we've been doing. Honestly, those things make what might be slight imperfections. . .HUGE PROBLEMS.
Reality? There's no such thing as a perfect world. . .and the wondrous thing is that we are able to deal with that - and should deal with that.
The lesson from nature. I suppose we could look at a "perfect" scenario" of a stream, with tree-lined banks on a sunny day of 72 degrees or so. And the truth about nature is that there are days like that. . .and there are days when wind storms take down those beautiful trees. . .or that placid stream floods over the shoreline. . .or the cold makes all of the deciduous vegetation unseasonably late. And then nature calls upon its innate resources to repair itself.
That's what we must do as well. . .because that's what we've been made to do.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Not Ready. Ready.
In two short days that will seem like mere minutes, our son, who was a newborn yesterday, will graduate from high school.
I am not ready for this. I am not ready to leave it behind.
I want at least one more band concert. I want to re-live the frenetic activity of getting him ready for a school trip. I want the continued conversations of what happened at school today and which teachers did what. It is all so good and it is all so amazing.
I'm not really prepared to hear the opening strains of Pomp and Circumstance. I cannot guarantee that I will not be a complete mess when I first see him walking in his cap and gown. There is the reality that once he is given his diploma, 18 years of preparation are in the rear view mirror. I really am not ready.
And yet, I am ready. . .because I have to be.
There is no choice; life keeps moving onward. Each breath. Each step. Each question mark and exclamation point moves us forward. To the next thing. To the next adventure. To my new favorite thing. If we don't move forward with life, we are out of sync with life; to be out of sync with life means missing so very much.
So I know I have no choice in the matter. I am resolved to the very idea that I know in my heart is true; that as much as I will cherish what has been - there are greater stories and bigger adventures ahead.
This is the life to be lived. So I take a deep breath, look up and commit myself. . .
I am ready.
I am not ready for this. I am not ready to leave it behind.
I want at least one more band concert. I want to re-live the frenetic activity of getting him ready for a school trip. I want the continued conversations of what happened at school today and which teachers did what. It is all so good and it is all so amazing.
I'm not really prepared to hear the opening strains of Pomp and Circumstance. I cannot guarantee that I will not be a complete mess when I first see him walking in his cap and gown. There is the reality that once he is given his diploma, 18 years of preparation are in the rear view mirror. I really am not ready.
And yet, I am ready. . .because I have to be.
There is no choice; life keeps moving onward. Each breath. Each step. Each question mark and exclamation point moves us forward. To the next thing. To the next adventure. To my new favorite thing. If we don't move forward with life, we are out of sync with life; to be out of sync with life means missing so very much.
So I know I have no choice in the matter. I am resolved to the very idea that I know in my heart is true; that as much as I will cherish what has been - there are greater stories and bigger adventures ahead.
This is the life to be lived. So I take a deep breath, look up and commit myself. . .
I am ready.
Friday, June 9, 2017
The Reality of Humility
Theresa May made a mistake.
The Prime Minister of Great Britain called for an unnecessary election. Why? Her poll numbers were very strong; her party's poll numbers were good. She thought that she could build an even greater majority (thereby strengthening her political position on Brexit) by calling for an election. Unsatisfied with what she had, she wanted more.
This morning we awake to headlines indicating she is barely hanging on to power. Her party lost seats in the election and Prime Minister May has been humiliated.
There is a great lesson to be learned here: when we are on top of our game let's not be so full of ourselves that we take it for granted that we can get even more. Time and again I have seen this idea backfire on the perpetrators.
Let's be honest - a driving force is ego. High level translation: "I'm so good - everybody loves me - certainly they will all do what I want - and I want more." Pride goes before a fall.
Ego should be tempered with a sense of reality. First of all, only a minority (and it should be less) are so foolish as to follow someone blindly. Secondly, we live in a quickly changing world - what we believe to be true today may certainly change tomorrow. . .and change against the next day. The folly of ego is that is dictates that it can go against that tide - that personality is the overarching driver versus the issues that people face daily.
The point is - reality is humility. If we open our minds to realize what is really going on around us - we are able to make better business decisions vs. acting on what our ego believes is true. To challenge ourselves with the reality of each and every day makes us both stronger. . .and more humble.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The Prime Minister of Great Britain called for an unnecessary election. Why? Her poll numbers were very strong; her party's poll numbers were good. She thought that she could build an even greater majority (thereby strengthening her political position on Brexit) by calling for an election. Unsatisfied with what she had, she wanted more.
This morning we awake to headlines indicating she is barely hanging on to power. Her party lost seats in the election and Prime Minister May has been humiliated.
There is a great lesson to be learned here: when we are on top of our game let's not be so full of ourselves that we take it for granted that we can get even more. Time and again I have seen this idea backfire on the perpetrators.
Let's be honest - a driving force is ego. High level translation: "I'm so good - everybody loves me - certainly they will all do what I want - and I want more." Pride goes before a fall.
Ego should be tempered with a sense of reality. First of all, only a minority (and it should be less) are so foolish as to follow someone blindly. Secondly, we live in a quickly changing world - what we believe to be true today may certainly change tomorrow. . .and change against the next day. The folly of ego is that is dictates that it can go against that tide - that personality is the overarching driver versus the issues that people face daily.
The point is - reality is humility. If we open our minds to realize what is really going on around us - we are able to make better business decisions vs. acting on what our ego believes is true. To challenge ourselves with the reality of each and every day makes us both stronger. . .and more humble.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 2, 2017
The Barriers We Create. . .
After about 20 years with a loyal clientele, the gym was closing. Many of the members decided to join another gym that was approximately 2-3 miles away. One constituent, however, resolutely refused to join the rest because she did not want to drive the extra mileage. On the final days, this member was disconsolate and in tears over the closing and the loss of relationships. To be sure, she was perfectly within her right to make the decision not to travel the extra distance to the new gym; but let's be equally clear that she was restricted by the barrier that she created.
Each of us do this daily. We decide we won't frequent a specific store ever again, or that we absolutely will not eat a certain kind of food or that we refuse to socialize with a specific person. We are living within the barriers that we create.
Certainly there is a full range of barriers. Some of the barriers we create are designed to keep us safe, others are designed to keep us healthy. . .but on the other side of the spectrum, we may be holding ourselves back from that which we truly want to do because we've created walls that disable us from achieving that which we really want.
"What is it that I really want to do?" We should ask ourselves this question often.
"Have I created barriers that disable me from doing that which I really want do to?" That is the follow-up question, that if answered with introspection, honesty and courage will provide us with enabling answers.
Of the forces in life that hold us back, there are many that are beyond our control. Many, however, are either owned by us or can be owned by us (we cannot change what we do not own). To live a fulfilled life, we need to sweep away those barriers which do not serve us.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Each of us do this daily. We decide we won't frequent a specific store ever again, or that we absolutely will not eat a certain kind of food or that we refuse to socialize with a specific person. We are living within the barriers that we create.
Certainly there is a full range of barriers. Some of the barriers we create are designed to keep us safe, others are designed to keep us healthy. . .but on the other side of the spectrum, we may be holding ourselves back from that which we truly want to do because we've created walls that disable us from achieving that which we really want.
"What is it that I really want to do?" We should ask ourselves this question often.
"Have I created barriers that disable me from doing that which I really want do to?" That is the follow-up question, that if answered with introspection, honesty and courage will provide us with enabling answers.
Of the forces in life that hold us back, there are many that are beyond our control. Many, however, are either owned by us or can be owned by us (we cannot change what we do not own). To live a fulfilled life, we need to sweep away those barriers which do not serve us.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 26, 2017
What Keeps Me Up at Night. . .
This past week, a group of co-workers and I were asked this question: "What keeps you up at night?" It is a fairly standard "work" question - meant to elicit responses of worry: what to do about sagging sales or how to cut a budget or the difficult discussion that must be had with a team member. And while, yes, I do worry (and can worry better or more than most, I assure you) after a few moments of soul searching my honest answer of what keeps me up at night was this . . .
The possibilities.
I spend a lot of time thinking about our resources and how we can make the best use of our resources. What if we took this part of our supply chain and diverted it to another sales channel? What if we re-allocated this amount of floor space to another endeavor? What if we changed our attitude regarding a type of material and found use for it? How can we make the best use of what we have?
What about our team members? What happens if we take the individual who is naturally excelling and promoted that individual? What if we take that individual who is struggling and tried to find a better fit? What happens if we put two individuals together on a team - is the sum greater than its parts?
What about our customers? How would they respond if we changed hours? If we changed our service model? If we marketed this way or merchandised that way?
And then there's those assumptions about the business and the team. We all tend to look at situations from our cultural preconceptions; but what if those preconceptions aren't correct and there is a better focus?
What about my personal resources? Am I using enough courage? Should empathy take the place of judgment? Would it be a better use of my time to spend a few minutes with a team member vs. doing another spreadsheet?
The possibilities. These are the great range of resources we have available to us (when sometimes we think we may have none). This is the excitement of what we can do vs. the dead end of what we can't.
This is what keeps me up at night.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The possibilities.
I spend a lot of time thinking about our resources and how we can make the best use of our resources. What if we took this part of our supply chain and diverted it to another sales channel? What if we re-allocated this amount of floor space to another endeavor? What if we changed our attitude regarding a type of material and found use for it? How can we make the best use of what we have?
What about our team members? What happens if we take the individual who is naturally excelling and promoted that individual? What if we take that individual who is struggling and tried to find a better fit? What happens if we put two individuals together on a team - is the sum greater than its parts?
What about our customers? How would they respond if we changed hours? If we changed our service model? If we marketed this way or merchandised that way?
And then there's those assumptions about the business and the team. We all tend to look at situations from our cultural preconceptions; but what if those preconceptions aren't correct and there is a better focus?
What about my personal resources? Am I using enough courage? Should empathy take the place of judgment? Would it be a better use of my time to spend a few minutes with a team member vs. doing another spreadsheet?
The possibilities. These are the great range of resources we have available to us (when sometimes we think we may have none). This is the excitement of what we can do vs. the dead end of what we can't.
This is what keeps me up at night.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Leadership and Whining Do Not Mix. . .
Great leaders do not whine. An example from this week's news. . .
At a Coast Guard commencement address on Wednesday, President Trump said this (about himself), "No politician in history - and I say this with great surety - has been treated worse or more unfairly."
From a leadership perspective - this makes me ponder the value of such statements. Here's what statements like this are meant to accomplish: they are said to garner sympathy and shore up the base of support as in "poor, pitiful me . . .don't you feel sorry for me. . .and aren't you going to come to my defense?" Problem number one: it is self-serving; good leaders are not self-serving. They should be present to focus on their constituents.
Problem number two: these types of big generalizations come printed with huge targets on them. People want to prove the assumption wrong. USA Today immediately came up with a list of five politicians who were treated more unfairly. The Facebook meme had Trump's quote above a photo of Nelson Mandela in jail. Big, overblown statements of victimization become immediately suspect.
Also, if one is prone to play the "fairness" card in self-defense - you'd better make sure that your own deck is in order. The President who is whining that he is not being treated fairly is the same individual who mocked a reporter with a disability, who gleefully led crowds in chants of "Lock her up," who routinely makes insinuations without reference, who blames his staffers for his problems and who throws his own party under the bus for his follies. Yes, leaders come under more scrutiny than others due to their naturally higher profile; if you are going to lay claim to something you need to make sure you will not be accused of hypocrisy.
And then there's this. . .leaders have lots of power. To claim "unfair" seems, at best, disingenuous. . .and an admission of weakness. We do not want to follow leaders who are weak.
Leaders, by the very definition, are meant to take us somewhere. To wallow in self-pity and martyrdom gets us nowhere.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
At a Coast Guard commencement address on Wednesday, President Trump said this (about himself), "No politician in history - and I say this with great surety - has been treated worse or more unfairly."
From a leadership perspective - this makes me ponder the value of such statements. Here's what statements like this are meant to accomplish: they are said to garner sympathy and shore up the base of support as in "poor, pitiful me . . .don't you feel sorry for me. . .and aren't you going to come to my defense?" Problem number one: it is self-serving; good leaders are not self-serving. They should be present to focus on their constituents.
Problem number two: these types of big generalizations come printed with huge targets on them. People want to prove the assumption wrong. USA Today immediately came up with a list of five politicians who were treated more unfairly. The Facebook meme had Trump's quote above a photo of Nelson Mandela in jail. Big, overblown statements of victimization become immediately suspect.
Also, if one is prone to play the "fairness" card in self-defense - you'd better make sure that your own deck is in order. The President who is whining that he is not being treated fairly is the same individual who mocked a reporter with a disability, who gleefully led crowds in chants of "Lock her up," who routinely makes insinuations without reference, who blames his staffers for his problems and who throws his own party under the bus for his follies. Yes, leaders come under more scrutiny than others due to their naturally higher profile; if you are going to lay claim to something you need to make sure you will not be accused of hypocrisy.
And then there's this. . .leaders have lots of power. To claim "unfair" seems, at best, disingenuous. . .and an admission of weakness. We do not want to follow leaders who are weak.
Leaders, by the very definition, are meant to take us somewhere. To wallow in self-pity and martyrdom gets us nowhere.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 12, 2017
Steve Harvey and the Lament of the Diva
The following is attributable to Variety. . .and whoever leaked Steve Harvey's staff memo.
There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE.
Do not come to my dressing room unless invited.
Do not open my dressing room door. IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED.
My security team will stop everyone from standing at my door who have the intent to see or speak to me.
I want all the ambushing to stop now. That includes TV staff.
You must schedule an appointment.
I have been taken advantage of by my lenient policy in the past. This ends now. NO MORE.
Do not approach me while I’m in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Either knock or use the doorbell.
I am seeking more free time for me throughout the day.
Do not wait in any hallway to speak to me. I hate being ambushed. Please make an appointment.
I promise you I will not entertain you in the hallway, and do not attempt to walk with me.
If you’re reading this, yes, I mean you.
Everyone, do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.
This is the lament of a diva.
Can we talk about tone? No "please." No "thank you." Use of CAPS!!! It is all absolutes and the voice of dictatorship.
Can we talk about the unspoken sense of "it's me against all of you." It seems that the driving idea here is that "my team is really just a bother, they are not additive to my show or my personal success."
Then there is the sense of royalty: "Do not approach me." "My security team will. . ." Mind you, this memo is not being directed to the outside world - this is written to his staff.
Oh, there is also the obsession with "me." "I have been taken advantage of . . ." "I am looking for more free time for me." "It is for the good of my personal life. . ." News flash, nobody really cares. What people care about is what they perceive they have ownership of. . .and the tone of the e-mail is very clear that they have very little ownership.
Which bring us to this. Does this sound like communication from a leader that people would like to follow. . .or does it sound like a brittle narcissist?
Perhaps it would have been ultimately more effective to do something like this: "Hey everyone. The time that I have in my dressing room and between the dressing room and the set is time in which I'm really focusing on refining the product we all put on air. While I really want to hear your concerns and work with you, at these points of preparation I will not be able to give you my full attention. For this reason, please make an appointment to see me to discuss your ideas so that we can find a time to work together in which I can provide focus to your conversation. Thanks so much for doing this - I really appreciate it. "
Does this accomplish the same thing? I would argue it accomplishes more. There is a collective reason for the request ("so I can refine the product we all put on air.") There is an informality and lightness (as opposed to perceived anger). There is a focus on the team and less on "me." There is "please" and "thank you." The end result is that team members will really want to do what is requested vs. wanting to throw the writer of the memo under the bus.
Which is exactly what they did.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE.
Do not come to my dressing room unless invited.
Do not open my dressing room door. IF YOU OPEN MY DOOR, EXPECT TO BE REMOVED.
My security team will stop everyone from standing at my door who have the intent to see or speak to me.
I want all the ambushing to stop now. That includes TV staff.
You must schedule an appointment.
I have been taken advantage of by my lenient policy in the past. This ends now. NO MORE.
Do not approach me while I’m in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Either knock or use the doorbell.
I am seeking more free time for me throughout the day.
Do not wait in any hallway to speak to me. I hate being ambushed. Please make an appointment.
I promise you I will not entertain you in the hallway, and do not attempt to walk with me.
If you’re reading this, yes, I mean you.
Everyone, do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.
This is the lament of a diva.
Can we talk about tone? No "please." No "thank you." Use of CAPS!!! It is all absolutes and the voice of dictatorship.
Can we talk about the unspoken sense of "it's me against all of you." It seems that the driving idea here is that "my team is really just a bother, they are not additive to my show or my personal success."
Then there is the sense of royalty: "Do not approach me." "My security team will. . ." Mind you, this memo is not being directed to the outside world - this is written to his staff.
Oh, there is also the obsession with "me." "I have been taken advantage of . . ." "I am looking for more free time for me." "It is for the good of my personal life. . ." News flash, nobody really cares. What people care about is what they perceive they have ownership of. . .and the tone of the e-mail is very clear that they have very little ownership.
Which bring us to this. Does this sound like communication from a leader that people would like to follow. . .or does it sound like a brittle narcissist?
Perhaps it would have been ultimately more effective to do something like this: "Hey everyone. The time that I have in my dressing room and between the dressing room and the set is time in which I'm really focusing on refining the product we all put on air. While I really want to hear your concerns and work with you, at these points of preparation I will not be able to give you my full attention. For this reason, please make an appointment to see me to discuss your ideas so that we can find a time to work together in which I can provide focus to your conversation. Thanks so much for doing this - I really appreciate it. "
Does this accomplish the same thing? I would argue it accomplishes more. There is a collective reason for the request ("so I can refine the product we all put on air.") There is an informality and lightness (as opposed to perceived anger). There is a focus on the team and less on "me." There is "please" and "thank you." The end result is that team members will really want to do what is requested vs. wanting to throw the writer of the memo under the bus.
Which is exactly what they did.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 5, 2017
How to Have THAT Conversation
We have all had these conversations. . . we will all have more of these conversations. It is the difficult conversation. It is the conversation you are dreading. It is the conversation you don't know how to start. It is the conversation in which you need to persuade people who don't want persuading.
And here is the absolutely the best thing you can do. . .
Listen first. Why?
a. People usually have stuff they need to get off their chest - let them do it.
b. Don't let them ponder and stew over what they believe to be true until the end of your dissertation - they aren't listening - they are, in fact, pondering and stewing.
c. If you listen first, you will get information that will help you avoid a swamp, and/or. . .
d. You will get information that will enable you to make your point.
Part of my previous job was to educate sales associates how to open credit accounts for customers. A few associates loved doing this; most loathed it. When I would speak to a group of associates, I would usually open with a joke and then swing right into the presentation. . .in front of a group of visibly unhappy people who had their legs crossed, arms crossed and probably had their arms crossed over their legs. Once I changed the dynamic and opened the session by having them ask questions and express concerns. . .once they could get "their stuff" out of the way, I found I had a much more willing audience. It all began with listening first . . .
And yes, there was the corrective action conversation I dreaded having because it was with ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD (or so I thought) and I just knew it was doing to A BIG, LOUSY DISASTER. I was catatonic - didn't even know how to begin the conversation - so quite by accident the team member started doing the talking. . .and the team member talked. . .and I willingly listened. . .and through that process both the team member and I accomplished more than we thought was possible. It all began with listening first. . .
As much as people dread having some of these conversations is as much as we dread starting them - so we usually end up starting them in the very worst way possible. Change the dynamic - let the other person start. . .and really listen. Now THAT conversation is going to be much more effective because it all began with listening first.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And here is the absolutely the best thing you can do. . .
Listen first. Why?
a. People usually have stuff they need to get off their chest - let them do it.
b. Don't let them ponder and stew over what they believe to be true until the end of your dissertation - they aren't listening - they are, in fact, pondering and stewing.
c. If you listen first, you will get information that will help you avoid a swamp, and/or. . .
d. You will get information that will enable you to make your point.
Part of my previous job was to educate sales associates how to open credit accounts for customers. A few associates loved doing this; most loathed it. When I would speak to a group of associates, I would usually open with a joke and then swing right into the presentation. . .in front of a group of visibly unhappy people who had their legs crossed, arms crossed and probably had their arms crossed over their legs. Once I changed the dynamic and opened the session by having them ask questions and express concerns. . .once they could get "their stuff" out of the way, I found I had a much more willing audience. It all began with listening first . . .
And yes, there was the corrective action conversation I dreaded having because it was with ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD (or so I thought) and I just knew it was doing to A BIG, LOUSY DISASTER. I was catatonic - didn't even know how to begin the conversation - so quite by accident the team member started doing the talking. . .and the team member talked. . .and I willingly listened. . .and through that process both the team member and I accomplished more than we thought was possible. It all began with listening first. . .
As much as people dread having some of these conversations is as much as we dread starting them - so we usually end up starting them in the very worst way possible. Change the dynamic - let the other person start. . .and really listen. Now THAT conversation is going to be much more effective because it all began with listening first.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 28, 2017
The Education of The Conversation
At a family function my son, who is a senior in high school, surprised me by saying that he would miss school. He said he likes it; this following 11 years of perhaps not liking it so much (save for music!). So why does he like school now? He has a study hall with a teacher. . .and they discuss stuff like economics and politics and world view. Because he is engaged in a conversation - he is enjoying this learning. And because he is enjoying this learning - he is learning so much more.
His experience rings true for me. The teachers I remember the most, the ones I learned the most from, were those teachers who engaged in conversation in the classroom. We had discussions! We addressed what were the hot topics of the day (coincidentally, still the hot topics). We learned how to interchange, how to research, how to civilly present viewpoints and either agree to disagree or come to consensus.
It is a pity that currently we force our teachers to prep (and prep and prep) their students to do better and better on standardized tests (Education should not be a competitive battlefield folks) and in the process, we negate the value of learning through dialogue and experience.
It is a pity that in the workforce we often to the same thing. We press and press toward higher and better KPIs, and in that process, we ignore the value and the education offered by simply having a conversation. That ability to exchange ideas, to be proponents and opponents, to learn from one another is one of the things that I personally find exciting about business. It is that process that perpetuates innovation, that allows us to agree to disagree or build consensus, that creates vitality.
And. . .it builds integration. It is those conversations that enable us to reveal more of ourselves and through that revelation we learn how to benefit from others and others learn how to interchange with us. Just like conversations in the classroom, it creates personal relevancy. Relevancy means we are judged as important, and when we are important, we like what we do.
Yes, standards and measures are important; however, we can't just "go there" without foundational work. Conversations form those foundations.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
His experience rings true for me. The teachers I remember the most, the ones I learned the most from, were those teachers who engaged in conversation in the classroom. We had discussions! We addressed what were the hot topics of the day (coincidentally, still the hot topics). We learned how to interchange, how to research, how to civilly present viewpoints and either agree to disagree or come to consensus.
It is a pity that currently we force our teachers to prep (and prep and prep) their students to do better and better on standardized tests (Education should not be a competitive battlefield folks) and in the process, we negate the value of learning through dialogue and experience.
It is a pity that in the workforce we often to the same thing. We press and press toward higher and better KPIs, and in that process, we ignore the value and the education offered by simply having a conversation. That ability to exchange ideas, to be proponents and opponents, to learn from one another is one of the things that I personally find exciting about business. It is that process that perpetuates innovation, that allows us to agree to disagree or build consensus, that creates vitality.
And. . .it builds integration. It is those conversations that enable us to reveal more of ourselves and through that revelation we learn how to benefit from others and others learn how to interchange with us. Just like conversations in the classroom, it creates personal relevancy. Relevancy means we are judged as important, and when we are important, we like what we do.
Yes, standards and measures are important; however, we can't just "go there" without foundational work. Conversations form those foundations.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 21, 2017
Breaking the Mold
It goes like this. The person you interact with knows you well. They (consciously or not) expect a certain reaction from you. Meanwhile, you also know the person well - you can pretty much predict that they will do this certain thing (consciously or not) to get the prescribed reaction from you. Both parties deliver. . .and you, my friends, are stuck in a rut.
How many times have you said something like, "And then she said to me. . .and she knows that I just hate it when she says these things. . .so she just does it to get a reaction from me." Okay. . .so what happens if you don't react in the manner to which both of you have become accustomed? If you used to get all tense or riled up - what if you didn't? If you used to be all cynical - what if you weren't? What if you changed the dynamics? What if you broke the mold?
We are very predictable creatures; just ask anyone who's been in a relationship for a period of time. In many respects that predictability and consistency is great. It's not so great, however, if it perpetrates a situation that is unproductive and unsatisfying.
For instance, there have been certain meetings that I dreaded going to. . .and because I dreaded going to them I was miserable and unsatisfied. I found that if I changed my dynamic, if I broke that unsatisfactory mold, all of a sudden that meeting became more tolerable. . .or, heck, even enjoyable.
Same thing about that team member who really "gets your goat." What happens if you change the way you interact? What if you hold and present your power differently? What if you did what the opposing party didn't expect? Life could be better for both of you. Minimally, the change in dynamics would be refreshing and I'm guessing it would be far more productive.
We fall victim to our own patterns of how we anticipate life, how we interact with others and how others react to us. Often the perpetrator of that pattern is us. . .and we have the power to change that reaction.
So promise yourself that at least one time this week - you will break that mold - for the better.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
How many times have you said something like, "And then she said to me. . .and she knows that I just hate it when she says these things. . .so she just does it to get a reaction from me." Okay. . .so what happens if you don't react in the manner to which both of you have become accustomed? If you used to get all tense or riled up - what if you didn't? If you used to be all cynical - what if you weren't? What if you changed the dynamics? What if you broke the mold?
We are very predictable creatures; just ask anyone who's been in a relationship for a period of time. In many respects that predictability and consistency is great. It's not so great, however, if it perpetrates a situation that is unproductive and unsatisfying.
For instance, there have been certain meetings that I dreaded going to. . .and because I dreaded going to them I was miserable and unsatisfied. I found that if I changed my dynamic, if I broke that unsatisfactory mold, all of a sudden that meeting became more tolerable. . .or, heck, even enjoyable.
Same thing about that team member who really "gets your goat." What happens if you change the way you interact? What if you hold and present your power differently? What if you did what the opposing party didn't expect? Life could be better for both of you. Minimally, the change in dynamics would be refreshing and I'm guessing it would be far more productive.
We fall victim to our own patterns of how we anticipate life, how we interact with others and how others react to us. Often the perpetrator of that pattern is us. . .and we have the power to change that reaction.
So promise yourself that at least one time this week - you will break that mold - for the better.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 14, 2017
The Intersection of Civility and Critical Thinking
Events in recent years, and certainly in recent months, stress the need to re-emphasize the importance of these two things in our society: civility and critical thinking.
Most everyone will agree upon the former; I'm not as convinced that everyone would agree upon the latter. Civility and critical thinking are inextricably linked. Lack of civility originates from one dimensional points of view ("it's my way or the highway" or "This is what I want to believe and I don't want to hear about anything else").
True critical thought, however, examines things from multiple sides. . .and most importantly, asks multiple questions. Why did a person respond this way? What are the outside forces that contributed to this decision? Where did the information originate? When was this said? Why do we care about this? What should we care about? Critical thinking is knowing what questions must be asked and then having the willingness to ask those questions.
The second part of the equation is that we are willing to really learn the answers even if they depart from our favored line of thought. It is often true that people believe what they want to believe - and it is also true that it is very hard for most of us to depart from those beliefs even if the facts don't support them.
We must, however, be open to the facts (and really be committed to getting to the real facts and not an interpretation thereof). We must be willing to hear and understand the answers to the questions we ask (otherwise it is a waste of time). I can assure you that once we understand an issue more thoroughly, civility will ensue.
That is not to say that in some instances we won't be outraged, that we won't feel indignant, that there won't be anger. But, by having more information we are more prepared to intelligently present our case. The bonus? By understanding the issues from multiple sides and having the ability to negotiate the issue at multiple touch points, we are more likely to legitimately win the argument.
It is that lack of information that rushes us to a favored conclusion or that which we wish to believe. It is that lack of understanding that results in name-calling and rumor-mongering.
Information gained by asking the right questions allows us to be smarter. Understanding won by examining multiple sides of an issue will make us stronger. Together that will allow us to build a better society.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Most everyone will agree upon the former; I'm not as convinced that everyone would agree upon the latter. Civility and critical thinking are inextricably linked. Lack of civility originates from one dimensional points of view ("it's my way or the highway" or "This is what I want to believe and I don't want to hear about anything else").
True critical thought, however, examines things from multiple sides. . .and most importantly, asks multiple questions. Why did a person respond this way? What are the outside forces that contributed to this decision? Where did the information originate? When was this said? Why do we care about this? What should we care about? Critical thinking is knowing what questions must be asked and then having the willingness to ask those questions.
The second part of the equation is that we are willing to really learn the answers even if they depart from our favored line of thought. It is often true that people believe what they want to believe - and it is also true that it is very hard for most of us to depart from those beliefs even if the facts don't support them.
We must, however, be open to the facts (and really be committed to getting to the real facts and not an interpretation thereof). We must be willing to hear and understand the answers to the questions we ask (otherwise it is a waste of time). I can assure you that once we understand an issue more thoroughly, civility will ensue.
That is not to say that in some instances we won't be outraged, that we won't feel indignant, that there won't be anger. But, by having more information we are more prepared to intelligently present our case. The bonus? By understanding the issues from multiple sides and having the ability to negotiate the issue at multiple touch points, we are more likely to legitimately win the argument.
It is that lack of information that rushes us to a favored conclusion or that which we wish to believe. It is that lack of understanding that results in name-calling and rumor-mongering.
Information gained by asking the right questions allows us to be smarter. Understanding won by examining multiple sides of an issue will make us stronger. Together that will allow us to build a better society.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Personal Power
You cannot change what you do not own.
If I were to have words painted on the wall my office, it would probably be those. They were given to a group of us when we were in the midst of trying to problem solve through blame shifting(?!). The words immediately rang true; no matter how legitimate the excuses may be, we cannot change anything unless we believe we have ownership of the issue and our reaction to it.
You cannot change what you do not own.
Believing in the words commits us to step up to the plate and lay claim to the issues of the day. It is that ownership that give us power to change, edit, experiment and learn. Critical thinking allows us to explore the many facets that any issue invariably presents, including the recognition of the elements that are truly out of our control. When we explore an issue critically, however, we are usually fortunate enough to find that many of the items we thought were out of our control are indeed items to which we can lay claim.
So, how do we own the issues that previously seemed out of reach? Here's the thing: one of the most powerful levers that we can control (and we often conveniently forget this) is ourselves.
We can change the way we react to a situation or others. We can alter our expectations. We can expand our internal explanations for behaviors. We can improve the way that people respond to us by changing the way we interact with them. All of this, however, requires that we own all of the above and through that ownership we can alter both our own destiny as well as the destiny of others.
There is no personal power if one believes they cannot change. There is no hope in martyrdom. Blaming everyone else for the state of affairs is an abdication of responsibility as well as personality.
Conversely, if we grab hold and resolve ourselves to work for change for the better, then we have ownership.
And ownership is very, very powerful.
Like it? Share it!
If I were to have words painted on the wall my office, it would probably be those. They were given to a group of us when we were in the midst of trying to problem solve through blame shifting(?!). The words immediately rang true; no matter how legitimate the excuses may be, we cannot change anything unless we believe we have ownership of the issue and our reaction to it.
You cannot change what you do not own.
Believing in the words commits us to step up to the plate and lay claim to the issues of the day. It is that ownership that give us power to change, edit, experiment and learn. Critical thinking allows us to explore the many facets that any issue invariably presents, including the recognition of the elements that are truly out of our control. When we explore an issue critically, however, we are usually fortunate enough to find that many of the items we thought were out of our control are indeed items to which we can lay claim.
So, how do we own the issues that previously seemed out of reach? Here's the thing: one of the most powerful levers that we can control (and we often conveniently forget this) is ourselves.
We can change the way we react to a situation or others. We can alter our expectations. We can expand our internal explanations for behaviors. We can improve the way that people respond to us by changing the way we interact with them. All of this, however, requires that we own all of the above and through that ownership we can alter both our own destiny as well as the destiny of others.
There is no personal power if one believes they cannot change. There is no hope in martyrdom. Blaming everyone else for the state of affairs is an abdication of responsibility as well as personality.
Conversely, if we grab hold and resolve ourselves to work for change for the better, then we have ownership.
And ownership is very, very powerful.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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