Civility

Having observed the workplace for many years,  I can say with certainty that the trend at work is toward greater civility.

If only that were true in popular culture; it seems the present cultural norm is to yell, throw out innuendo and call people names.

Why is it important to talk about this?   Why is it important to change the dynamic?

Because the lack of civility is toxic.  It takes us nowhere.

This week in the news there was a great example of civility and what it accomplishes.  A family with an autistic child boarded a United Airlines flight from San Diego to Houston.   The child was overstimulated and would not take his seat for take-off.  As opposed to kicking the family off the flight, three United flight attendants asked the family how they could help.  They came up with a solution whereby the child could sit in his mother's lap, secured by his father, during take-off.

But wait - it doesn't end there.  After take-off, the child was still restless.   The crew allowed him to rest on the floor because the vibrations from the plane were comforting.

But wait - it doesn't end there.   The child kicked a seated, off-duty flight attendant who was across the aisle.  As opposed to a dirty scowl, the individual assured the family it was okay - even presenting the mother with a note of encouragement and support as the flight was ending.

And there's more - the child started kicking the seat of a passenger seated in first class.   The gentleman, understanding the situation, assured all concerned that it was okay.

I suppose the child's behavior could be construed as disruptive, prompting grumbling and complaints - and everyone would have gotten off the flight in a foul mood.  Instead, individuals pulled together as a community, led by the wisdom of the flight attendants - and I bet almost every individual who got off that flight felt good about what had been accomplished.

Community is built through civility.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available through Amazon Kindle.

Masters of Distraction

It is an art form.  Not a high form of art; instead it is the ability to seemingly release ones' self from accountability by. . .

Pointing over there!   "Look, look, look. . . ." let's talk about that, not about the subject at hand.

Or the sly twist of the subject, that takes one item out of the context and attempts to start a new, and often derogatory, dialogue.

Or just ignoring the question at hand and instead bringing up something unrelated that seemingly will cast the person on the spot in a better light.

In a business climate, in the political world, in the best sense of relationships, this is egregious.    It is blatantly the inability to accept accountability by diverting attention away from what is important; that which truly requires investigation.

And often we are guilty of letting the perpetrators get away with it.   Maybe they are amusing.   Maybe they have a certain charisma or charm.  And while we may be anxious to resolve the question at hand, we passively endorse their actions by letting them divert us away from what which truly needs attention.

And we then become accessories to the act of distraction;  we then shoulder the responsibility for the failure to hold people accountable for their behavior.

I have seen many good people fall prey to this;  consequently, strong institutions become weaker.   If there is not accountability, ultimately there is not honest action to fix problems and move the enterprise forward.

The antidote.  We must be thoughtful.  We must be multi-dimensional in our  process.    And we must rigorously and consistently bring people back to the subject at hand and hold them accountable.

It is fair and it is honest.   It is also great business.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

How to Do Great Work Today

Commute time is thought time.  As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about the challenges and opportunities that the day will present.

How will I do great work today?

I will do great work today by being thoughtful about the particularly difficult challenges that I know are in store;   I recognize that my first response tendency may not be the best.  I recognize that there are often many dimensions to challenging situations.   The more dimensions I can address, the more successful the team will be.

I will be open to whatever "newness" presents itself.   Consistently there is always some surprise - some new appointment, some new situation.  This is part of the work and to do great work, we need to be able to "roll with those punches."

Not only will I prioritize that which impacts the workplace and team the most, I will be open to re-prioritization so that I can address emerging issues.

I will take time for conversations that not only address concerns, but build bonds.

I will give thoughtful, succinct direction that reaps big rewards

I will have courage, be truthful and build trust.

I will take time to rest.

And I will recognize that no one formula addresses all needs of the team, the workplace or the workday, but that organically I will do what seems to be the best.

We all can do great work today.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

On Making Decisions: Hearing Yourself Talk. . .

How do we make difficult decisions?

Often I find that the answer is within ourselves;  it then becomes the "mining" or finding of that foundational information.  How, then do we hear ourselves talk?   How do we find the truth within ourselves?

I seek my closest friends;  those who I know well and who reciprocally know me well.    Those people I can confide in.   Those people who have the ability to ask me questions that will get me to the truth.

It is when I am in the company of those in which I have such confidence that I find myself speaking what I believe to be the truth.  In conversations regarding potentially difficult decisions, those who know us well should be able to ask of us the questions that are most pertinent to our lives; and because these are people we trust, we will answer with that which is at the core of our being. 

Find the people you believe in the most; and the people that believe in you.  Select those  with whom you can be completely yourself; not that which they want you to be.  Choose those who both empathize and challenge.

Speak with those who know you in the most complete sense;  when you do, you will find that you are speaking that which you know with your heart is true.

And your decision will be strong.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Other Side of the Story

One of the smartest things we can do is to seek the truth.

So, when we are hit with "Everybody says that Suzie is disruptive to the workplace,"  the smartest thing we can do is to ask the question, "When you say everybody, exactly how many people?"

When we are told "Mark has been difficult to work with since February," we will not accept it as gospel - but instead we will have a conversation with Mark.

When the assumption is that the problem with daily reporting is a broken connection - rather than ride with that baseline - we are going to ask if the problem is really a broken connection.

If two or more people are in conflict - we are going to spend time with each to understand exactly what it is that is going on.

If someone says a process is broken - we are going to sit with that person and ask very specific questions as to why they believe the process is broken.  (Is it really the process that is the problem - or is it the lack of adherence to the process that is the problem?)

The baseline is this - there is incredible value in finding the truth.  That process, however, often requires that we engage in fact finding within several different dimensions.

If we don't do this - we won't have the full story and are waiting to be victimized when the full story emerges.

If we don't spend the time seeking the truth - we will not gain the trust and respect that we need to lead.

And if we do find the other side of the story, we will be known as truthseekers who are fair and effective.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.