Every day presents opportunities to learn - so the question is: what did you teach your team today? Let's imagine some after work conversations (that probably don't require a whole lot of imagination) to see what team members were taught today.
"You know that issue I've been grousing about - the one in which my boss just won't let me have my way? Well, today I essentially threw a temper tantrum and she finally caved. . ." What did the leader just teach the individual - hint: the future is filled with the behavior of a ten year old.
"I told my boss that despite what he wanted, I didn't see the value in collaborating with the shipping team - that I'm just going to do it myself. I don't think he was too happy but he didn't stop me." What did this individual learn from his boss's passive approach?
"I figure that if they don't look at the facts - it's their own damn fault - so I just threw some numbers in and everyone just nods their heads up and down and it's a done deal." Hmmmmm. . . .
"I waited and waited and waited for her. . .and she just kept talking to her friend from accounting and didn't even acknowledge that I was waiting. . ." So did this individual learn that she is important. . .or not?
"He always sounds as if he's upset by what people are doing. . .but he never writes anyone up or counsels them - so we all slide by. Cheers!"
Or. . .
"I don't like it, but I've been given my orders. At least she explained to me her reasoning - who knows, it may work."
"My boss clearly gave me the expectation that there is not an alternative to collaboration. So I guess I can't go it alone; maybe it will be less work."
"Crap. . .I thought I could slide by, but they had all of the numbers right in front of them. . ."
"I know she was crazy busy - but at least she took time to listen so there's hope."
"Rumor has it that several people were counseled for their behavior. . .so maybe things will work out after all."
Each day, through our actions, we are teaching lessons. Even passivity teaches an active lesson. Seize the opportunities. . .for you are a counselor, teacher and coach.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Friday, August 19, 2016
Relax, Already!
There you are, in the heat of the moment at work. The project deadline is like. . .now. . .but that weekly, useless meeting starts in two minutes. . .and now not just the desk phone is ringing, but so is your mobile. It is at that very moment that some well-meaning. . .but very misguided soul. . .pops their head in and says something akin to "You know, you would be so much better off if you could just relax. . .!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN. . .RELAX? I HAVE TEN THOUSAND THINGS TO DO - RELAXING WOULD MAKE IT TEN THOUSAND AND ONE. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RELAX."
It was not the time (and timing is everything) for the co-workers comment. Just telling someone to relax while they are in the midst of it is never a wise idea. Yet, I find from personal experience that to be relaxed at work is far superior (and more productive) than being all tense. How then can we find that hard-to-find place of being able to move forward with a relaxed mindset?
First of all, realize that you own your state of mind. Yes, I know co-workers can be treacherous and bosses can be unreasonable and customers can be demanding. When I'm tense about it - I'm only going through the motions. When I'm relaxed about it - I'm being far more productive and strategic and consequently, I am more effective throughout the enterprise. It may seem contradictory (because relaxation being relaxation - we just expect it to automatically wash over us in a blessing), but you have to make an active choice to relax about what is at hand. And this choice of relaxation ideally is made before you get into the midst of whatever it is that you have to tackle for the day.
Another thing: recognize that not everything is your responsibility. To be clear, I love it when people own their business and their actions. It is possible to over-index on this and few things produce stress as quickly as feeling that one must solve every problem in their orbit. Balance your sense of ownership with what is really someone else's responsibility.
One foot in front of another. There have been times in my life when it just seems as if everything is demanding my time or everything is collapsing. In one of those moments I just told myself - "I'm going to do this as if I'm learning to walk, one foot over the other." This meant wading into just one issue, getting it done and moving on to the next. Stress overload appears in front of us like a big black ball - to be effective we need to unravel it one issue at a time.
Let's not confuse relaxation with laziness or less productivity or not caring. Let's not confuse flight or fight adrenaline with "being really good." Let's concentrate more on enjoying work and our co-workers and our lives. . .that's how to be really great.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN. . .RELAX? I HAVE TEN THOUSAND THINGS TO DO - RELAXING WOULD MAKE IT TEN THOUSAND AND ONE. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RELAX."
It was not the time (and timing is everything) for the co-workers comment. Just telling someone to relax while they are in the midst of it is never a wise idea. Yet, I find from personal experience that to be relaxed at work is far superior (and more productive) than being all tense. How then can we find that hard-to-find place of being able to move forward with a relaxed mindset?
First of all, realize that you own your state of mind. Yes, I know co-workers can be treacherous and bosses can be unreasonable and customers can be demanding. When I'm tense about it - I'm only going through the motions. When I'm relaxed about it - I'm being far more productive and strategic and consequently, I am more effective throughout the enterprise. It may seem contradictory (because relaxation being relaxation - we just expect it to automatically wash over us in a blessing), but you have to make an active choice to relax about what is at hand. And this choice of relaxation ideally is made before you get into the midst of whatever it is that you have to tackle for the day.
Another thing: recognize that not everything is your responsibility. To be clear, I love it when people own their business and their actions. It is possible to over-index on this and few things produce stress as quickly as feeling that one must solve every problem in their orbit. Balance your sense of ownership with what is really someone else's responsibility.
One foot in front of another. There have been times in my life when it just seems as if everything is demanding my time or everything is collapsing. In one of those moments I just told myself - "I'm going to do this as if I'm learning to walk, one foot over the other." This meant wading into just one issue, getting it done and moving on to the next. Stress overload appears in front of us like a big black ball - to be effective we need to unravel it one issue at a time.
Let's not confuse relaxation with laziness or less productivity or not caring. Let's not confuse flight or fight adrenaline with "being really good." Let's concentrate more on enjoying work and our co-workers and our lives. . .that's how to be really great.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Friday, August 12, 2016
Comfortable with Being the Boss
The question is - are you comfortable being the boss?
Here's the reason I ask; I have seen any number of potentially good conversations go upside down and sideways because the boss was clearly uncomfortable with their position and it showed in their communication style. What could be, and should be, normally positive conversations become awkward. . .and straight-laced. . .and edict filled. . . and in the end are totally bumbled because of the discomfort of being the boss.
Having the privilege of leading a work group is already complicated by the fact that culturally there are negative perceptions that come along with being "the boss." "He doesn't care." "She makes more money than I do." "They don't understand what's going on." Layer on top of that a leader's own discomfort and it's not pretty.
Here's the thing (or things). Because you are leading a workplace, it doesn't mean you need to be someone other than yourself (which is deadly - disingenuity is smelled like fear). You don't have to lose your sense of humor. You don't need to be all stern and up in their business.
You do, however, need to care: both about the business and about the people you are leading. Once you believe that, and live that belief - a lot of the discomfort goes away. Conversations, even corrective conversations, can become more casual. . .and because they are more casual. . .you will be heard better and you will listen better.
Here are a few tactical things that help you being comfortable being a leader. Live in the facts (not the rumors or innuendo). Know your business and practice it with excellence. Genuinely care about the team you have the privilege of working with. Constantly exam critical issues from various points of view. Be truthful.
Find comfort in being yourself.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Here's the reason I ask; I have seen any number of potentially good conversations go upside down and sideways because the boss was clearly uncomfortable with their position and it showed in their communication style. What could be, and should be, normally positive conversations become awkward. . .and straight-laced. . .and edict filled. . . and in the end are totally bumbled because of the discomfort of being the boss.
Having the privilege of leading a work group is already complicated by the fact that culturally there are negative perceptions that come along with being "the boss." "He doesn't care." "She makes more money than I do." "They don't understand what's going on." Layer on top of that a leader's own discomfort and it's not pretty.
Here's the thing (or things). Because you are leading a workplace, it doesn't mean you need to be someone other than yourself (which is deadly - disingenuity is smelled like fear). You don't have to lose your sense of humor. You don't need to be all stern and up in their business.
You do, however, need to care: both about the business and about the people you are leading. Once you believe that, and live that belief - a lot of the discomfort goes away. Conversations, even corrective conversations, can become more casual. . .and because they are more casual. . .you will be heard better and you will listen better.
Here are a few tactical things that help you being comfortable being a leader. Live in the facts (not the rumors or innuendo). Know your business and practice it with excellence. Genuinely care about the team you have the privilege of working with. Constantly exam critical issues from various points of view. Be truthful.
Find comfort in being yourself.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Friday, August 5, 2016
Winning by Letting It Go
Lessons from the week's news. . .
I'm in awe of the Shakespearean poetry of the whole Khizr Khan/Donald Trump thing - seriously, this whole incident will someday be the inspiration for a Tony-award winning drama. Cliff notes: at the Democratic National Convention Khan makes a speech that is critical of Trump. . .and in the style that is all-too-familiar by now. . .Trump rebuts. . .and rebuts. . .and rebuts. By doing so, he keeps the whole story alive in the press and lays his own land-mines. Latest poll shows that nearly 7 out of 10 Americans disagree with him on this issue. His overall poll numbers are going down and he is facing greater discontent within his own party. He. Could. Not. Let. It. Go.
Yet, many times I have seen this same mistake (and I've done it, too) at work. Someone raises an issue. . .or there is a perceived slight. . .or the snarky remark. . .and in the sake of some mistaken thought that this is how we will win at this - We. Can. Not. Let. It. Go.
Meanwhile, we dig ourselves a hole by paying too much attention to "this thing" as opposed to focusing on the business at hand. And by paying too much attention to it. . .we magnify the very usse that we wish would go away.
What's better? Rather than re-act with a series of counter-punches - strategize. If what has been brought up is a legitimate issue - address it and solve the problem - you win! If what has been brought up is an opinion that is counter to yours - state your opinion once (substantiated with facts) and move on - you will probably win! If it was snarky and unwarranted - ignore it and focus on making business happen - you win! If truly egregious - react as positively as possible by taking counsel with your boss and HR - you will win!
So many times we feel we need to respond and continue on in bloody battle until one person. . .wounded and scarred. . .finally emerges as the victor. While we may tell ourselves that's how we win - truly no one wins in that scenario.
Be the smart person. Address it or ignore it and move on already. Let. It. Go.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I'm in awe of the Shakespearean poetry of the whole Khizr Khan/Donald Trump thing - seriously, this whole incident will someday be the inspiration for a Tony-award winning drama. Cliff notes: at the Democratic National Convention Khan makes a speech that is critical of Trump. . .and in the style that is all-too-familiar by now. . .Trump rebuts. . .and rebuts. . .and rebuts. By doing so, he keeps the whole story alive in the press and lays his own land-mines. Latest poll shows that nearly 7 out of 10 Americans disagree with him on this issue. His overall poll numbers are going down and he is facing greater discontent within his own party. He. Could. Not. Let. It. Go.
Yet, many times I have seen this same mistake (and I've done it, too) at work. Someone raises an issue. . .or there is a perceived slight. . .or the snarky remark. . .and in the sake of some mistaken thought that this is how we will win at this - We. Can. Not. Let. It. Go.
Meanwhile, we dig ourselves a hole by paying too much attention to "this thing" as opposed to focusing on the business at hand. And by paying too much attention to it. . .we magnify the very usse that we wish would go away.
What's better? Rather than re-act with a series of counter-punches - strategize. If what has been brought up is a legitimate issue - address it and solve the problem - you win! If what has been brought up is an opinion that is counter to yours - state your opinion once (substantiated with facts) and move on - you will probably win! If it was snarky and unwarranted - ignore it and focus on making business happen - you win! If truly egregious - react as positively as possible by taking counsel with your boss and HR - you will win!
So many times we feel we need to respond and continue on in bloody battle until one person. . .wounded and scarred. . .finally emerges as the victor. While we may tell ourselves that's how we win - truly no one wins in that scenario.
Be the smart person. Address it or ignore it and move on already. Let. It. Go.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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