Honesty. . .Honestly

It was at one of those more relaxed company functions that an executive shared a story with a peer group.  The story centered around said executive's wonderful getaway and a special dinner that was shared with a group of strangers.  The punchline of the story was that this individual totally lied their way through the meal, making up details about their life, career and family.

On a completely separate occasion, a different leader  confided in me in that one of their special skills was that they were "sneaky" and then went on to describe about winning a game by cheating.

While I continued to work with both individuals, I did not trust them again.  When I was told something that was supposedly fact, I felt I needed to doublecheck what they told me  to assure I was getting the true story.  

Both of these individuals told their stories with a certain air of superiority ("See what I can get away with?") and they missed the very important fact that in the end, their behavior and their stories subjugated them to suspicion and even derision.

People who have demonstrated a disregard for the truth and fair play cannot be trusted as team players and as leaders they do not position their teams in a safe, or ultimately, profitable place.     There have been multiple occasions that I have witnessed teams in which the leader was not ethical.    Once the team got wind of this, the leader's behavior became the focus of the team vs. the team's mission within the community and company.  Despite the fact that much time has passed, when I think of the two individuals referenced above, I don't immediately think of their accomplishments, but instead, I think regretfully upon their lack of ethical prowess.

As leaders, it is our charter to lead.    Leaders who engage in sneakiness, untruths or even half truths are wasting a valuable resource.   While they may think they are being superior, ultimately their teams will learn to distrust them and will not want to follow them.  Conversely, leaders who engage in the truth and have a high degree of ethics are not only creating a safe environ for their teams, but they are also the professionals that people truly want to follow.

Truth is a powerful, foundational tool.   Yes, sometimes it is challenging or inconvenient;  consistently, however, it is a force that drives a team forward.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" available for e-readers, Macs, IPads, IPhones and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Words to Eschew

Over years, I have been witness to hundreds of thousands of words exchanged between leaders and their teams.   Through this experience, I have been able to filter a few unfortunately climactic words and phrases that I would hope never to hear again.  (Disclaimer, I may or may not have used one or two of these myself. . .and if I did, I regretted it).   Herewith, then, are words for leaders to eschew.

"It's not my job to liked."  The use of this phrase is a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you use it, you truly will not be liked.   If you don't care to be liked, you are wasting a valuable resource.    If you don't like your boss, don't you wish you did?   If you work for a boss you like, aren't you likely to give more?   Leaders should not confuse the fact that while, yes, they often have to deliver news that people may not like; they can still deliver that news with an integrity and personality that the workforce will respect.

"Finagle."    To obtain something through devious or dishonest means.  Example:  "Try to finagle your way out of that."  Don't go there.  First of all, it's not a constructive way to do business.   Secondly, if your team thinks that finagling is part of your tool chest,  they will quickly adopt that tool to finagle something by you.

"Act first and ask for forgiveness later."  There are so many dimensions why this is wrong it kind of boggles my mind.    The use of this phrase insinuates that the leader is either ignorant of what the corporation wants or doesn't care.    It leads the team into uncertain territory - and teams don't care for uncertainty (remember, they want leadership).  Then there's the golden rule - if the team believes in this platitude, the next thing you'll know they will have done something without consulting you figuring they can always ask for your forgiveness.

"If you don't like it, you can just leave."  Really?    This may seem like an expedient way to end a disagreement and establish your authority - actually, it does the opposite on both counts.   If there is a team member you believe would be better off in another assignment, you owe it to both that individual and the remainder of the team to have a quiet, candid discussion.

"They're all just children."  I can't begin to tell you how often I have heard leaders refer to their teams this way.   It's very likely that if the team is acting like children, they are being managed as if they were children.

"It's just easier to do it myself."    The perverse magic of this phrase is that if you use it often enough, you will truly end up doing most everything by yourself.

"I'm always right."   Should I hear this phrase, I can say with certainty that the speaker is wrong about at least one thing

If you have a phrase or word or two to eschew, leave a comment and I'll share it in a future blog.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders," available for e-readers, IPads, IPhones, tablets and PC's on Kindle.

Sight Reading: Leadership Lessons from a Band Teacher

Often teams are faced with the unexpected;  they need to deal with new situations, challenging projects or organize some newfound chaos.  As leaders, we need to prepare and lead teams through these times which can be perplexing.

A few nights ago, I saw a leader in action who guided an entire team through the unexpected;  it was our son's band teacher.  As part of the concert, he did something that very few would have the courage to do - he had over 30 junior high students play, in public performance, a piece they had never seen before.

They did a great job; if we hadn't known that they were sight reading that piece of music, we would have assumed that they had practiced this performance for many days.  What was notable to me, however, was what leaders can learn from this band teacher.  Here's what's worth thinking about:

He had the right people to do the task.    The instructor chose the students that played in this band.  He could approach this sight reading with the confidence that he had the right talent and skill set to meet the challenge.

He prepared his team.    He did not hand out the music and launch right into it.   Instead, he took a few minutes to work with the players to prepare them for the task ahead.   He solicited comments and answered questions.  He gave everyone a chance to get the information they needed to be successful.

He called out the "tough spots."    As in life, this music had some passages that were more challenging than others.  In his preparatory remarks to the band, he previewed those passages.  He told members what those passages should sound like, what signals to watch for and what he expected them to do.

He rehearsed the team.   In the few minutes of preparation prior to the sight reading, he had the students sing-out and clap-out one of the more challenging passages.  He prepared them for the tough spot ahead by having them simulate meeting that challenge.

He was calm and steady.  If I was a band instructor about to launch into a sight reading, in front of a couple hundred parents - "nervous" would not even begin to describe my state of mind.    Instead, in front of the team and audience, this professional presented a calm and confident demeanor.

The team had an intensity.  Not only was the band teacher leading a group of talented students, but the band had an intensity that allowed them to perform the sight reading with a high degree of quality.   This intensity was a knowledge that to meet this challenge, they had to be at the top of their game.

As we face the unexpected challenges in the workplace that require "sight reading," these are lessons we can learn from our son's band teacher:  have the right people, prepare the team, call out the rough spots, rehearse what will be difficult and have confidence that the team will rise to the challenge.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courage Questions, Confident Leaders," available for IPad, IPhone, Macs and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Let "My People" Go

Years ago, I was familiar with a leader who was overly fond of the possessive.   Consistently, the individual referred to "my projects,"  "my idea,"  "my work" and "my people."  The latter extended to the point that, akin to Moses, I just wanted to scream, "Let 'my people' go."

Use of the possessive is not uncommon for leaders, but it isn't always wise.  Think for a moment about the messages that are communicated with the overuse of  "my."

• It communicates sole ownership, such as, "that's MY tricycle."  The reality is that no leader has sole ownership of a project or work and certainly does not own the people with whom the leader has the privilege of working.  The beauty of work should be that many people own projects and work alongside each other to accomplish common goals.    Furthermore, the use of "my" in referring to team members can have kind of a creepy connotation of servitude.   We should be very clear that team members are essentially free agents who exchange their talents and services to deliver a predetermined product;   they are not beholden to anyone.
• The use of the possessive can be very exclusionary.    Team members should know that they are responsible not only to their leader, but also to each other, the end product and the customer.  The use of "my"  rather destroys all of these relationships, because it infers that team members have responsibility to only one person.
• Utilizing "my" excessively creates all sorts of  figurative arrows that point directly to the speaker.   Whether done either intentionally or unintentionally, the leader should not create focus around their own person, but instead around the team and what the team can create.

Not out of sheer coincidence, the leader who overuses "my" also tends to overuse these words:   "I," "me" and "myself."  Beyond the fact that someone who talks about themselves all the time isn't all that interesting, they are failing to engage the workforce.

At it's base, I believe that strong leadership is a self-less act that enriches those that the leader has the privilege of working with.  Let the possessive "go," and instead, accentuate the inclusive.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" available on Kindle for e-readers, IPads, PCs and Macs.