Greatness is Not a Solo Sport

The director who wins the Oscar this year did not win it on their own merit - all you need to do is look at the movie credits to understand that it was not a solo sport.

The conductor of the symphony is not great in their own right. . .just look at the program to understand how many contributors there are to excellence.

The gymnast is seemingly out on the floor  by themselves. . .until there is a different camera angle and you realize that there are coaches and team mates and supporters who contribute to the success.

I will guarantee you this. . .if you talk about how great an individual is - that individual did not get that way on their own.   There were teachers, friends, parents, grandparents. . .a village, if you will, that contributed to that success.

And if an individual  constantly talks about how great they are as a person, they are mis-representing the facts.  Because the continuity of greatness also requires that village.

This is a basic tenet of humility - the recognition that we are a community.  That we are interdependent upon one another.  Beyond that we are interdependent on the vast resources that nature provides (and we should assure that we don't squander).

There is no such thing as a self-made individual.

We must remember this, and act accordingly, daily.

Like it?  Share it!

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Antidote to Righteousness

In the utilization of the word "righteousness" I am keenly aware of the religious connotations (daddy was a Presbyterian minister.)  So it is with deliberation that I utilize "righteousness" in describing people's need to be "right."     For many, it becomes their religion to almost a cult-like mentality;  meaning they no longer question if this is the true path.   Their zeal to always be right over-rides all else. . .and more unfortunately, over-rides all others.

Ironically, in that they are flawed.  No one is perfect;  no one should pretend to be.

So, if there is a higher path, a better answer - what is it?

Inquiry.   Let's be curious.    We don't know everything (or sometimes, anything) so let's find out.   Let's ask a question, then another, then another.  We may think we know the truth, but inquiry quickly informs us that we only know a portion of it.

Inclusion.   Let's include others.   If we stand that only we know the right answer, then we have excluded many, many others who can truly help us get to a better, more iron-clad conclusion.

Humility.    Know what's better than leading others to believe you have all the right answers?  Letting others know that you don't know everything invites greater individual and communal learning.    Admitting that we don't have all of the right answers brings down the walls of defense so that others can admit that they, too, don't have all of the right answers.  Then, collectively we can work together for a better world.

Collaboration.   While inclusion is the invite to the conversation, collaboration is the ongoing community of conversation and ideas and work that makes the world spin.    Righteousness often has servants;  collaboration has community.

Knowledge.  Again, the irony, but the more we know is the more we realize how much we have yet to learn.

Being "right" all of the time is a false notion.   Inquiry, inclusion, humility, collaboration and knowledge are tru-isms that stand the test of time and shine a light for all of us.

Like it?  Share it!

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Our Own Personal Prison

When the individual heard that the class she loved so much was moving locations, she was genuinely bereft to the point of inconsolable.    In tears, she lamented the end of something she loved so much.  The class, however, was moving only a few miles away.   Since the individual was coming from twenty miles away, one could make the point that the extra  miles were inconsequential.   To the individual, however, they were insurmountable.   She built her own walls and was trapped within.

This is not uncommon;   we all do it.  It's . . .

"so far"
"inconvenient"
"not my scene"
"not my crowd"
"too much work"
"something I'm not good at"
"frightening"
"not worth it"
"something that makes me really uncomfortable"
"not that which I'm used to doing"
"out of scope"
"not part of my ethos"
"I'm not good enough"
etc.

Many of these, save for the self-deprecating statements, are perfectly legitimate; provided we are satisfied with the outcome.    If we are not satisfied with the outcome, then we have built our own prison.  We are unable to access that which we want or need or crave because we have created the barriers.

There are the barriers that have been created for our own safety.   Barriers that we create that do not serve us well are the ones that keep us from happiness and fulfillment.   While often we want to say that it is external forces that hold us back;  it is equally true, or maybe more true, that what we say we can't or won't do is self-created.  In that, we are our own worst enemies

Take an inventory.   Do the barriers that we have created truly serve us well and keep us safe and content?  Or is it merely an untested assumption that we have to continue living with what we have told ourselves we can't do?

The prison that we certainly can break out of is one of our own making.

Like it?  Share it!

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Race; The Competition

If you live the longest - do you win?

Or, if you die with the most money - are you the victor?

Or, if we get more awards than someone else;  or if we are in better physical shape - are we then better?

What if you have the most "Likes" on Facebook.  Is that how you win?

Certainly there are things in life that are a competition:  a road race, a football game, competition between business rivals (hopefully not within the same enterprise).   That's legit.  But how we live our lives (contrary to what is propagated on popular culture)  should not be a competition.

We should not think of  the abundance of life in such scarce terms that we believe that we have to "win" at the expense of all others.  If we consider life as such, then certainly life is unfair because our basic competitive philosophy dictates always there is a winner. . .and lots of losers.

And that simply is not the reality of life;  the reality of life is that it is richly abundant with resources.  Our job is to choose those things which fulfill us and support the community around us.  A life well-lived is not one that is a constant competition or comparison, but instead is one of personal satisfaction.   That personal satisfaction is not gained by "beating others;" instead it is gained through supporting others.

Perhaps we need to change our internal definition of winning.   If we fulfill our potential, live lives that are satisfying to us and support our communities - then, truly, we win.

Like it?  Share it!

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Do This in the New Year and You Will be Successful

This is the typical claim, isn't it?      Do this diet, participate in this fad or do as the process prescribes and success will automatically be yours.

Well, maybe yes and maybe no - but I do know that this one thing that really works:   ask a lot of questions.

Why should we ask a lot of questions?   Because we don't know all of the answers.

But what if we think we know the answer;  why ask a question then?   Because there is a good chance that we really don't know the answer.  Because maybe one or two more questions will solidify whether or not we really know the facts.

Doesn't asking questions make us look less knowledgeable vs. just being able to give the right answer?  Nope.  Actually the opposite is usually the case.

What if I get an answer I don't like?    Then we get an answer we don't like - but it gives us a firmer foundation upon which to move forward.

What if I embarrass myself by asking a question?    In reality, this seldom happens. In fact, we most often subjugate ourselves with spouting a wrong answer.   Even if we are embarrassed, we can learn something by the answer/the reaction/the feedback.

What does asking a question do vs. just straight up giving an answer?   It invites participation.  It opens a conversation.  It begins an interchange.

Instead of just asking a "bunch of questions" isn't there another way to think about this?   Yes, we are engaging in inquiry.  We are trying to find out more.   We are sharing opinions,   We are fact finding.

Is there a formula for asking the right question?  Really, no.  Even the simplest of answers can lead us to places of commonality or additional inquiry that we have failed to consider thus far.  But, be genuine.  Be genuinely interested.

Be invested in finding things out.

What questions do you need to ask?

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.