How to Get Rich in the New Year

Having spent a good percentage of my career in retail marketing, I came to the conclusion there are two distinct management styles in regards to customers.   I've worked with management teams that focused on the thought that the customers were there to make life miserable:    customers steal, customers mess up the shelves, customers try to take advantage of offers, customers leave the restrooms in disrepair.  In other words, the end result was that customers were  looked upon as detractors (in retail?!)

The second belief structure focused on the ability of the customer to make the retail venture more successful.   We focused on what the customer wanted and tried to deliver that.   We honored that the customer had a budget to spend and structured our thought process so that the customer wanted to spend their money with us.   Guess which of the two retailers was more successful. . .

Likewise, I have seen managers who, much like the first example, seem to believe that their team members exist for the sole purpose of making their life miserable:    they focus on what their teams don't do, how much time they take away from work, how the team isn't as invested as they are.

And then there are managers who focus on what their teams deliver daily:  the talents each individual brings, the distinct point of view of each individual, the sacrifices the team makes for the good of the whole.

Guess which manager feels like the "richer" leader?  It certainly isn't the one who believes everyone exists just to take from him or her.

The richest team leader is the one who believes in the value of each and every member of the team; and they increase their wealth by continually integrating each team member's thought process in the daily operations.

So, if you want to be wealthy in the new year - recognize and revel in the wealth of talent and dedication that surrounds you daily. . .and if you do that, your dividends will multiply.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets on Amazon Kindle.

One Wish for Christmas

Here is my wish for you for Christmas.   It will take less than five minutes and will continue to give to you throughout the new year.

Consider someone who you are in contact with almost every day.  Pick up the phone, swing by their office, pull them aside.   Tell them that, at this holiday season, you want to sincerely thank them for the excellent job they do . . .the great attitude they have day after day. . .the perseverance they consistently exhibit. . .their great ability to figure out complex problems. . .their extraordinary customer service.

Look them in the eye. . .shake their hand. . .and offer your gratitude.

Now, here's the thing.   If everyone were to make this simple offering. . .the world would, maybe just for a minute, be a much better place.     If just you were to make this gesture, you will brighten someone's day. . .maybe even their month.  And even though you are making this gesture to genuinely benefit another. . .the magic within it is that it so greatly benefits you.

By acknowledging the role that others have in our lives. . .and extending our thanks to them. . .we expand our horizons.     Our own world becomes better, because we have embraced the reality that in this great village we are indeed beholden to one another.

So make this wish for you. . .and others. . .come true this Christmas.   The rewards that you find will probably  make you want you to do this every day of the year.

Share yourself. . .and make the world a better place.

Talk When People are Ready to Listen

One of the most common complaints is this:   no one seems to listen to me.   As a leader, this becomes a real problem, because if there are not receptors for your message, no action will be taken.

Here's a key thing to remember. . .speak when people are ready to listen.

Contemplate your own listening habits.     There are times when you really don't want to hear what someone is trying to say.    You may be tired.  You may be pissed off.    There may be a hundred and one other things going on and there is not capacity to take on. . .one. . .more. . .thing.

What is true for you is also true for the people to whom you are speaking.      They have the same emotions and competing priorities as you. . .and just as you may not be receptive to certain messages at certain times. . .neither is your audience.

What exacerbates this dynamic is often when we decide to say something. . .we believe it NEEDS TO BE SAID RIGHT NOW.

To be sure that your message is heard. . .slow your roll and do an honest evaluation of the receiving parties' ability to listen to what you need to say.

This requires restraint, patience and the ability to read your  audience.      Observe the other individual.    Think of the information they have given you ("I'm in a really good mood today," vs. "It must be a full moon.")  To be able to do this well, you also need to invest in time to spend with your team, which always is one of the wisest investments you can make at work.

You are too busy to be wasting time communicating when people aren't listening.      Find the time (and the mood) in which people are receptive. . .then go for it.    What you will say will go a whole lot further.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for 2.99 from Amazon Kindle.

How to Write "Good" E-Mails

Today, over lunch, we were talking about how we more naturally engage with those tasks that are pleasant - thus, somehow avoiding those that are not.   A very smart person said, "It's like I only want to read the "good" (as in those containing good news) e-mails."

In that very true and simplistic statement is a huge opportunity for all.   Is it not a truth that we want to read that which contains good news - and are less likely to engage with those communications that are negative?

While certainly not everything that is communicated (in e-mails or otherwise) is good news, we can make ourselves heard better and more often if we present news as positive versus scorched earth.

Which subject line would you rather read?

"Your Uncontrolled Spending  is Threatening the Very Existence of Our Company"
Or. . .
"Some Thoughts on How We Can Partner to Assure Better Profitability"

Which opening statement is most likely to engage you?

"I'm really not a complainer, but I really feel like nobody is listening to my opinion and I'm just being bullied into submission. . .can a lawsuit be in the not-too-distant future?"
Or. . .
"Let me add some positive thoughts to the discussion that we've had recently. . ."

Hopefully, in both cases, it will be the latter statement.    So, let me present a few positive opportunities for e-mail communication that will result in greater (and more satisfied) e-mail readership. (Because each and every one of us wants our e-mails to be read - right?!)

Re-read your e-mail with a cynical viewpoint:   what could be misconstrued as negative or unconstructive (remember that e-mail does not have advantage of the reader seeing your face or hearing your inflection)?   Re-cast anything suspect in factual light and. . .

Avoid hyperbole:    "nobody, "   "everybody,"  "every single time,"  "all of the people I talk to," "never,". . .these are all words that invoke emotion, and not a positive one.  Likewise, avoid the direct accusatory, "You never told me. . ."

When possible, avoid negative words:   "big problems,"  "way too expensive,"  "hurtful,"  "uncooperative". . .

Replace negativity with a positive opportunity, words like . .well:  "opportunities,"  "several options are available,"  "we can assure greater cooperation by. . ."    "I want everyone on the team to be satisfied. . ."

Which brings us to. . .actually try to please people with your e-mails.   That's not pandering, it's good, common sense.    You want to work with people who want to work with you.

And there's always the golden rule. . .write e-mails that you would like to read.   E-mails are often a complaint of the workplace. . . you can make life (you and your readers') easier and better by crafting e-mails that people  actually want to read.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available for PCs, tablets and e-readers on Amazon Kindle

Leader of the Brand

Brand development has been a significant chunk of my career.   Simply put, brand is the personality of the entity.   Just as simple:    the leader of the work group greatly persuades how the brand is presented.

My observations, especially in the retail realm, have been that no store goes anywhere without the leader taking them there.   That goes for both the good. . .and the bad.

Recently I was in a store that I admire. . .and I greatly respect the manager of the store.     The manager's mark is all over the store;  it runs so well it virtually makes its own kind of music.  My last visit, however, found the store to be less vibrant.    Small wonder that when I visited with the manager, I found the manager to be stressed and tired.

As leaders, we may chose to believe that our day to day actions have little impact on the whole.   The opposite is true.    Daily, our actions, our cues, our moods and our attitudes sway the workplace.  We are, then, the leaders of the brand.

The temptation is to get so into the numbers, to execute the routine and check off every list. . .that we minimize the impact we have just by the way we present ourselves.    Telling you what, if we are not energized, the team we work with will not have energy.   If we don't like what we are doing - the team will probably dislike what they are doing.

If, however, we approach our work positively, the team will be positive.   If we are creative with our own work, the team will be creative with that they are assigned.   If we believe in ingenuity, the team will drive ingenuity.    If we embrace customer service, we will be working with a strong customer service team.

Every member of the team is, in fact, the brand.   As leaders, it is our responsibility to assure that we are setting the example for what we desire the brand to represent.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for PCs, e-readers and tablets on Amazon Kindle.

It Is Enough

There is a fine distinction to be made in the area of "wanting."  Of course it is fine to want a new car, a home reminiscent of those on HGTV, clothes that step out of GQ or Marie Claire.   And of course, it is fine, desirable even, to want to more love, or laughter or free time. . .any of those intangibles that may or may not come with a price tag.

The distinction is this:   it is fine to want, but don't feel poor because you have less than you may desire.   The truth is, and you know this just from simple living, often what we have is enough.

Your car may not be the newest - but it gets you from place to place.   Your house may not be designer finished - but it provides shelter and warmth and a place to sleep.   You may desire more love or laughter (and hopefully you will find it), but don't ignore that which you have.

Most of us are lucky enough to have what we need to sustain our lives. . .even prosper.   That means we have enough.

If we believe we don't have enough, our belief structure is rooted in scarcity.    If one's belief structure is focused on what we don't have, there is no room to reach out to others. . .there is not enough to share. . .there is nothing left to fulfill one of the greatest components of a life force - which is giving to others.

It is my observation that people who believe they have enough, and are thankful for that which they have, are able and willing to do all of the above.   In that process of reaching out and giving to others from a point of personal richness. . .they themselves are both emboldened and enriched.

What we have may not be everything we desire (it really never is).   But to recognize that we do have (probably more than) enough. . .is the springboard for lives rooted in thankfulness and individuals who not only enrich themselves, but those surrounding them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Six Tips for the Interviewer

Having just gone through the interview process (as an interviewer) again, I am reminded how frustrating it can be.   You want to hire the right person for the job and a right match for your team. . .but it is difficult to make a fair assessment in just a few hours time when you are essentially having an introductory conversation that is outside the everyday realities of work.

Here, then, are a few reminders for the interviewer.

1.  The interview is not the end-game.  Some of the best people on the team were people who were satisfactory, but not necessarily outstanding interviews.    Some of the best interviews I've had turned out to be mediocre team members.

2.  Practical experience aces the interview.  I have seen this happen multiple times.     A truly great employee ends up, perhaps due to nerves or whatever, not being a great interview.   If this happens, don't rely on the interview, but instead rely on the practical experience of the team member you know.

3.  Don't try to get "tricky" in the interview.  Do not try to trip up the interviewee, or put them in the "hot seat" or pressure test the individual.  It's not the reality of anyone's workplace (no matter how stressful you believe your workplace to be) and it's not fair to the individual.

4.  Have  a conversation.  You are only going to get the real essence of the interviewee, and they of you, if you remove the pretense and sit down and have a real conversation.    Try to make it as relaxing for all parties - it will be easier for you and it will give you a better chance to know the potential team member.

5.  It's not a speaking contest.   Don't look for the quick answer, the best-spoken answer or the most-referenced answer.   Look instead for the quality answer, the one that is thoughtful and will provide the best match for the work and the team.

6.   Don't be a afraid to make a mistake.  At some point, you will hire someone you wish you hadn't - then you coach.   Meanwhile, don't freeze up at the hiring point.     Engage the person who you believe brings the best attitude,  a satisfactory skill set and the ability to get along with, and enhance, the total team.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle. 

Of Marco, Machines and People

Usually I don't  engage political punditry - unless there is something so  heroic or so heinous that it deserves special mention.  Unfortunately, we are in the latter category.

While most candidates at this week's Republican presidential primary debate were against raising the minimum wage (Donald Trump, "Wages are too high.") it was Marco Rubio who opined. . .

"If you raise the minimum wage, you're going to make people more expensive than a machine."

Seriously, if that is our measure of what is a fair wage - then all hope is lost.

In hopes of writing more than a diatribe against the imperialness of this all, let me point out elements in the statement that we should all eschew.  The first is the comparison of people and machines.    One of my bosses, upon contemplating the hundred or so people working for him, actually said, "If we could fire them all and replace them with robots, we'd be so much better off."  He was wrong, of course, because robots and machines do not have human, emotional intelligence which is keystone to a successful operation.

There are places in our culture for machines. . .and then there are places for people who live and breathe and have opinions and have needs and can give your enterprise a superior edge.    Let's not confuse the two.  

Secondly, to have the audacity to suggest that the minimum wage has to be lower than what any machine could do the job for is just mind-blowingly ignorant of both what talented people bring to the workplace as well as what a fair income in America should look like.  The current American minimum wage results in an annual income of just a little over $15,000/annually.   Who do you know that can survive on $15,000/annually?  The establishment of a fair wage should not be a comparison against a machine;  it should be benchmarked to what is a livable wage.

Thirdly, Rubio's statement demonstrates no vision in terms of the evolution of industry and the workplace.    Assuredly, we have developed machines that can do work expediently and efficiently; at the same time, we are developing new business models and technologies that require human skill sets and knowledge.  To suggest that we are in a place in which we must choose between machines and humans is one dimensional thinking.

We must be fair with our team members.  We must be cognizant of the responsibility we play in society in assuring that employees are paid a fair, livable wage.  Without that, we are developing a cynical workforce that will (deservedly) revolt and a society that is devoid of fairness and compassion.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Four Rules About "The Bonus"

"The Bonus" is a great thing. . .a reward of cash and/or equity for a job well-done.  The bonus is also an emotional issue and, if not managed properly, an element that can work contrary to the good of the enterprise.   I've been in and out of bonus programs. . .so here are a few observations that I believe should be rules of the road regarding the bonus.

1.   Do not frame it as part of the base compensation.    I have seen cheap CEOs and CFOs try to get away with this:    "well yes, the salary is low. . .but if the individual is really good they will earn their bonus and be on par with their peers in the remainder of the industry."

For the love of God - pay people what they are worth.   If you make the mistaken assumption that the bonus is only to get someone on par with a competitive wage, you've committed a grievous error.   You will not be able to attract and keep top talent.

A "bonus" is called a "bonus" because it is just that. . .a reward for a job well done - not part of  a base compensation.

2.  The bonus should only be paid if the enterprise makes its goals.    I have seen bonus structures go both ways:    an individual may make their bonus based on individual performance if the enterprise does not make their goals or the enterprise as a total has to make their goals before any individual can bonus.

Granted there are arguments to be made on both sides;    the stronger is the latter.    If individuals can bonus without the enterprise making its goals, it opens up the world of fiefdoms, backstabbing, land grabbing and all sorts of unpleasantries because individuals are so focused on getting their money - they are not concerned with the overall health and welfare of the organization.

All team members within an organization must be pointed in the direction of making the overall goal.

3.  The bonus should be paid annually.    The more I work with financial numbers the more I  have come to realize that a short-term vision does not result in long-term benefits.  Quarterly performances can be too unpredictable and too swayed by anomalies.   Go for the annual bonus.

4.   Behaviors can (and should) be part of the bonus equation.   If the enterprise is rewarding on numeric performance only - they are developing a cultural void and have no hopes of achieving some of the finer parts of the art.      Yes, judging and evaluating behavior can be tricky - but that's what we are paid to do.  Establish metrics and outcomes and measure against those. . .and also have the guts to evaluate if the individual is behaving according to the laws of the land.

The "Bonus" is indeed a reward for the individual - but it should also be properly structured so that it is a bonus to the operation of the entire enterprise.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Losing the Possessive

Once  I worked with a manager who had no shortage of ego (or, conversely, had a tremendous shortage of ego and was constantly trying to compensate).   In either case, the conversation was always "I," as in "Look at what I did."   "Look at MY award."   "I know all of this stuff and I'M going to condescendingly communicate it to you."

But wait. . .there's more. . .I haven't even communicated what was, at least to me, the most grating.  To the excess, it was always "I'll have MY team do it."  "MY people will know what to do." "MY manager can solve that."  Whenever the conversation was about this individual's team, the individual insisted on using the possessive.   To the point that I just wanted to scream, somewhat Old Testament like. . .

"For the love of God, let MY people go."

Here's what's wrong with the possessive.   The manager is inserting themselves, whether warranted or not (and usually it's not) into the conversation.   The team  doesn't belong to the individual.  The use of "my" (in excess) is often patronizing. . .and in that vein, then degrading.

Teams do not belong to the manager.  (The manager does, however, have a strong responsibility to take care of  and support their team).    Teams are not part of a manager's empire or cache.   Teams are part of the enterprise.

So, if we want to use semantics that honor that, how about:

"The people I have the privilege of working with. . ."

"The director on our team who is most capable of helping you is. . ."

"Let me ask (insert individual's name here) since that is their area of expertise."

See how that all sounds?   It's not patronizing. . .it is respectful and builds confidence. . .which are two of the two traits that a leader should share with a team.

Yes, it may be a fine or "picky" point. . .but the use of the possessive in referring to a team does nothing for the team and ultimate does nothing for the speaker.    To be a little more careful can in fact build up both the team and that team's leader.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets on Amazon Kindle.

Avoiding the Void

Where there is a perceived lack of visibility - trouble steps into that void.

It goes something like this.   The manager of the area becomes very busy - perhaps is given extra responsibility.      Manager doesn't get out to the team area or interact with the team as much as before.    Team feels the absence - they wonder where the manager is.     They start to wonder what is wrong.   In the middle of the this, people who don't have the overall good of the enterprise at heart start to "take over" the team and become the voice of the team.   Within a matter of weeks, the team is, minimally, suspicious of the manager's absence and in more dramatic cases, the team becomes estranged from the  manager and the mission of the enterprise.

And it's all because they haven't seen the manager; and not seeing that manager creates the void that trouble begins to fill.

Simply put - there is one way to fill that void - the leader of the team needs to be visible and needs to continuously interact with the team.

There are various forms of making one's presence felt:   memos (is that now a really old word?), e-mail, texts, webinars.   All of these should be considered to be augmentations to the most powerful way of making one's presence known - that is actually being there.   The leader who makes it a priority to be with the team - even in small, but consistent segments - will be richly rewarded with a team that is aligned with her or his priorities.

Once that is accomplished, the leader's presence can then be further enhanced with other forms of communication.      These also should be a priority - because the more  meaningful communication there is - the safer the team will feel and the more productive they will be.

I always encourage people to think of the ways that their team communicates - and use those as their primary ways to communicate back to the team.    Team seems to like e-mail - use e-mail.   Team uses texts - use texts.  In fact, in larger teams, the leader may find it necessary to use multiple forms of communication in order to serve a diverse audience.

At the end of the day, however, nothing does it like really being in the room and being there for the team.   Without the leader's presence there is a void;   with the leader present it is a great opportunity.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle for PC's, e-readers and tablets.

Looking at Conflict in a New Light

Conflict, so often, has less to do with what we believe it is - and much more to do with what we don't know.

Conflict is the very act of battle between two parties - so it becomes very personal and very direct.

Conflict can also, however, lead to great creativity provided we 1) find out what we don't know and 2) refuse to make conflict personal and direct.

There is often much more that contributes to conflict that what is evidenced.    What else is happening?    What has been said that hasn't been told?   What happened that wasn't related?   These things can create huge fireballs of emotion that explode and then the other party retaliates.  The way to creativity is to think through the questions.

What else is happening?    Is there something else happening at home?  At work?   With a work team member?  Often if you can get to this information you will have a stronger understanding of the nature of the complaint.  Sometimes the complainant will even admit that the real problem isn't what was complained about.     And. . .if you can get to a strong understanding of the nature of the complaint - you can then start crafting a resilient, creative response to it.    That response may build new programs or craft different  points of view that heretofore have not been instituted - suddenly you have created something very positive out of what could have been a very detrimental situation.

What has been said that hasn't been told?   Often the source of conflict is rumor, innuendo and misunderstanding. Try as best you can to get to the source.   Sometimes this means you need to listen very carefully. . .to several different sources. . .to figure out who said what.  Seriously - it may be just a two to three word phrase that indicates the truth..   Once you've done that hard work, however, you can then avoid the even more difficult work of conflict by correcting the misinformation.

What happened that wasn't related?  Something will happen - someone will misinterpret it - and suddenly we're off to the races without a strong understanding of the motivation.  Asking questions and being very curious (as opposed to shooting a missile back after the first shot was fired) allows us to (at least) try to figure out the origins of the misunderstanding.   By unraveling that misunderstanding, you will save yourself hours of time and make your team happier.

All of this, of course, requires that we ask questions and form a strong understanding of the real concerns instead of firing back.  It may not be what we want to do in the heat of the moment - but it leads to a better team and greater creativity.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for 2.99 from Amazon Kindle.

How to Avoid Saying Stupid Things

Maybe this has never happened to you (but I bet it has)- you walk away from a conversation, however brief, and admonish yourself with "Stupid.  Stupid.    STUPID!    Why did I say that?"

It's helpful to recognize that this happens to all of us - and it will continue to happen.   There are ways, however, to mitigate.  Such as:

Don't say the first thing that pops into your head.   Sally is headed toward you in the hallway and you see, from a distance, that Sally has been experimenting with her hairstyle.   As your mutual steps bring you closer to one another, your mouth may blurt out exactly what your brain is producing, which sounds something like, "Is that an owl on top of your head?"

Not a great opening line.   However innocuous, it's always better to start with something like "How are you doing today?"  or "Great to see you this morning."   These phrases give your brain time to recalibrate, recognize that isn't a barn fowl in Sally's hair and say something more constructive.

Don't feel like you always need to say something.  More unfortunate phrases, and more battles have started due to this dynamic. . .you feel like you need to say something.    Not everything that is said needs you to weigh in with a response.  Which leads us to. . .

Don't feel backed into a corner.     I have said some of the stupidest things in these situations.   Someone lobs an A-bomb of conversation in your direction, or asks a pointed question, and you feel that you need to either defend yourself or have a ready answer.

Not true.  Deflect.  "Let me see if there is anything I can do."   "I know you want the right answer - so give me a couple minutes/hours and I'll get it for you."  Even, "I'm sorry you feel that way" is better than lobbing back an ill-advised answer.

Don't lie.    First of all, it's not ethical.  Secondly, you will get caught - and then you will have a reputation as a liar.

Don't Answer in Anger.   Granted, there may be a place and time. . .generally, however, you don't want that place to be near you and that time is in that alternate universe in which The Real Housewives reside.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle for tablets, PCs and e-readers.

Take Care of Yourself: Take Care of Others

Great leadership (and yes, I'm saying it again) is a selfless task.  Your concern  and your responsibility is your team.

Which brings us to this:   if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take adequate care of others.    Here then are a few gentle reminders on how to be at the best you can be.

Are you centered?    Is your life balanced?   Life spent on the extremes is life on the edge - and not in a good way.  If you envision your life "heading on down the highway" are you in the right lane?

Are you happy?   Happiness is not over-rated.    To be content. . . to be happy is a blessing that all should have.  It is essential not only to a good life. . .but to great leadership.  (If you aren't happy - neither is your team).

Do you need time with just you?  There are points in my life when I just need to make all of the noise stop so that I can listen to myself.      At those times, I seek solitude.   It may be on a walk.  It may be in an empty church.   It may even be on a car ride.  That time, spent just sorting things out, is incredibly worthwhile and makes the time I then spend with others so much more worthwhile.

Conversely, do you need time with friends?  Sometimes that best way to listen to yourself. . . is to hear yourself talking with really good friends.   Laughter, compassion and just gentle conversation are great remedies.

Healthy?  Good food, eaten well, feeds not just the body but the soul as well.    Good rest makes us sharper and more relaxed.   Good exercise makes us feel better, releases tension and builds a stronger body.   All of these are essential for strong leader.

And while life is complicated, taking care of ourselves is really that simple.   By  prioritizing self-care. . . we can then be selfless by taking better care of those we care about.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets on Amazon Kindle.

9 Highly Ineffectual Habits of Short-Term Leaders

Observing leaders who believe they are tremendously effectual (but are not), one can usually discern a common theme of self-preservation combined with burdensome ego;   the following are symptoms.

1.  Sending a messenger.     Such as, "The boss told Clara to tell me to tell you that you are not to pop your gum any more - got it?"    Seriously, the leader needs to have the chutzpah to deliver both the good and the bad news.

2.  Believing that emotional intelligence is unnecessary.    The individual who believes this could have their job done by a machine - and actually, probably should.

3.  No empathy.  See point 2.  Seriously - no empathy, no leadership.

4.   Trying to get away with things.   This covers a multitude of literal sins:  lying, cheating, etc.   You want to have a better understanding of the long-term impact?   Google "Volkswagen Diesel Emissions."

5.   Totally believes and is immersed in the infallibility of herself/himself.   Seriously?    Totally out of contact with the reality of life - we all make mistakes.

6.   Does not express gratitude because he/she believes that the team is beholden to him or her - which is more than a little backwards.

7.   Does not collaborate.   Leaves the leader so incredibly vulnerable because there is no support throughout the organization.

8.  Does not listen.    Consequently, the leader doesn't receive (or display) much in the way of intelligence.

9.  Adheres to the way-too-old-adage of "It's not my job to be liked.".  Consequently, is not liked.

But if you like this (because it is my job to be liked) - share it!

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets from Amazon Kindle.

Seven Great Choices at Work

One of the things for which I am most grateful is that there is usually not just one path to success or happiness.    We have multiple intelligences, resources, team mates, technology. . .the list goes on and on. . .that allow us options.  I know that it is true for me that I am not at my best when I am not considering my options;  conversely, I feel good about what I do when I consider multiple choices for the solution of one challenge.

For the purpose of getting out of a narrow head space, here are some choices to consider.

1.   You can always quit.   I personally have used this on at least two occasions.  It is not my preferred option, but I believe we should always have  it in our hip pocket.     While it can be a frightening thought, it can also be a liberating thought. . . and that liberation in itself may bring new light to the challenge one is facing.

2.   You can go have a conversation.   Maybe the person you are going to talk to can (minimally) provide comfort or (ideally) provide a different way of looking at the challenge you are considering.   Maybe they've been there and done that;  experience is an invaluable option to consider.

3.   What is your competition doing?    Much as we prefer to think that we are superior to our competition, you may find "what-to-do" or "what-not-to-do" when examining those you face.   This can provide you with several new ways of looking at what you need to do today and tomorrow.

4.   What if you do the exact opposite of what you are considering?   Yes, it's a little bit of a mind game, but it allows you to turn the problem around - and often when you are looking at a problem from a different perspective, you can arrive at a better solution.

5.   Maybe you should wait.     This is not the same as procrastination - which is putting off that which needs to be done.     Sometimes waiting allows you to see added dimensions to the challenge;  often waiting allows you to collect more information.  Always. . .waiting should provide you with time to reconsider your prime solution and evaluate whether it is the best solution.

6.   Technology?     We don't even know what we don't know.   Do a little research.  Ask your local techie - find ways through technology to simplify.

7.   What would so-and-so say?     You know someone who's a great finance person?    What would they say about the challenge you face?    What would an engineer say?   What would your CEO say?
What would your mother say?    Play the different personalities and voices through your head and you will have more choices to consider.

I have found personal comfort that there is seldom just one way. . .choices not only lead you to the best solution, but make you smarter.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Seven Phrases That Should be Replaced with "Thank You"

Based on observations, it seems that some people have difficulty uttering the words "thank you" to their team.  My theory is that the avoidance of the utterance of such phrase allows the would-be thanker to ignore the fact that they are, indeed, beholden to their team for the accomplishments of the hour, day or year.

Instead, I have witnessed some of the more awkward expressions of gratitude that go something like this:

1.  "Well, that's a pretty good job."  Would it kill the speaker to go full out and just say, "Thank you for a job well done?"

2.  "You just go-go-go, don't you?  You're just busy-busy-busy.   You're a virtual whirlwind"  I suppose that's an acknowledgement of accomplishment, but it also makes the addressee akin to the famed EverReady bunny.   How about, "You bring incredible energy to our team and I just can't thank you enough."

3.   "Meet Sally, she's my little helper."    Nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to be referred to as anyone's little helper.

4.  "I see that you're almost done with the Hutchins project - then we need to move on to the Johnson project."    Or, everyone could be encouraged to take a deep breath and be grateful for the progress on the Hutchins project prior to reminding everyone there's more work to be done.

5.  "My goodness - you got so much more done than you usually do."  And that would be a handshake and a slap.

6.   "You are certainly one of a kind." ???????????????????????????? and ?

7.  "I don't know what I'd do without you."   But if you don't thank the person, you may soon find out.

While often there may be good intent behind the ilk of phrases above - they don't necessarily express appreciation. . .or praise.   All of us want and need to have gratitude extended to us for what we do everyday. Use "thank you" generously and genuinely.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for 2.99 on Amazon Kindle.

Doing the Right Things Because They Are the Right Things to Do

What irks me is the omission in the training seminar entitled "The Business Case for Diversity."  Every large corporation has one of these.   The training demonstrates that a diverse workforce is a stronger workforce and thereby enhances the bottom line.  All of that, absolutely, is true. More important than that, however - (and this is what is often omitted) we should have a diverse workforce because, plain and simple, it is the right thing to do.

One can be left with the impression that the reason for diversity is merely profit and that if it weren't for that - we probably wouldn't be as interested in diversity.   The same could be said, I suppose, of things that I have written.     That the expression is gratitude is integral to team cohesion.    That the honoring and praise of team members builds a better product and service.    That the time spent listening is a strong way to boost ROI.

So, for a moment, disregard the business benefits and profit motives - we should do all of these things that are the right things. . .because they are the right things to do.

At our core, there should be a moral imperative that we are going to be good people who treat other people with dignity and care and honor.   We should do that regardless of any business benefit that it may bring to us.

It just so happens that, incidentally, if we do the right things. . .they are also the right things to make our enterprise grow and prosper.

I suppose that given the option of doing the right things for a business motive vs. not doing the right things at all. . .that the former is preferable.    What is far more preferable is that we have a conviction that we do the right things because that's what makes us whole as contributing members of our communities.

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Add Ten Items to your To-Do List. . .and Save Time

It may seem incongruent to suggest that by adding things to your to-do list that you can actually save time.    Learning from my own personal experience, if one adds theses things to the accomplishment list, you will, in fact, save time, save energy and will be more successful.

#1.  I will thank someone on my team.    The work the team dedicates to the job should not be taken for granted;   neither should it be assumed that they believe their compensation is an ample example of gratitude.    Thanking someone for a job well done is accelerant for the continued accomplishment of good work.

#2.  I will thank someone outside of my team.   Be it a vendor, a peer or even a supervisor - the above principles apply.

#3.  I will find an item on my list that is very low priority and/or no longer matters and cross it off.   The wonderful thing about this is now you get to cross two things off your list.  Instant time savings!

#4.  I will actively reach out and establish an additional professional relationship.   Pays off big time. . .double pay-off if the individual you connect with is someone you really would rather not converse with.   You're making bridges and crossing them.

#5.  I will simply listen intently to at least one individual.   Sometimes we get so busy disseminating information and giving instructions that we forget to get intel - which is the very act of listening.  

#6.  For at least one of my e-mails, in lieu of sending it, I will get up from my desk and go have a conversation.  E-mails are great for disseminating information, not so good at forming relationships.  Go have a face to face and save some time.

#7.  I will go for a walk at lunch.  Go to Starbucks.  Head to the lobby.   Take a short swing through a store or a museum.   Clear your head.  You will be more efficient afterward.

#8.  I will find one report and/or meeting (bonus for both) and eliminate it.    What was once relevant is not always relevant.   Clean house - eliminate that which you do not need.

#9 and #10.    Repeat #1 and #2. 

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Bouncing Back from Criticism

Criticism can be a soul-crashing experience.

Gaby Diaz didn't let that happen.

Gaby, a tap dancer from Miami, auditioned for the current season of "So You Think You Can Dance.". She danced her heart out, only to be told by the judges that they weren't a fan of her performance, which I believe they labeled "machine gun tapping."

The vast majority of contestants would call that the end of the story.   Not Gaby.    She took the criticism to heart, choreographed a new solo and traveled several states to audition. . .again.

This time the judges loved it!   She took the best part of the criticism and combined it with incomparable spirit and not only made it to the next round, but made it to the top 20 and is currently one of the top 8.

Because there isn't a need to belabor a great performance, I'll cut this short and encourage you to watch the clip below.  Please look for two things.   Listen to how Gaby describes the judges criticism (matter of factly) and how encouraging the once critical judges become (note the power in encouragement).

Enjoy.  And dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5B25OqFYIc

My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for purchase on Amazon Kindle.

Challenging Those Things that Make Us "Good" People

At our core, most of us are satisfied with ourselves.   We are successful in our careers and personal lives.   Along with that satisfaction often comes the assumption, over time, that every element that comprises our professional and personal lives is probably integral to our success.  For instance:

• "Part of the reason I'm successful is that I start every morning with a three mile run."
• "I make it a rule to never to leave work until I have everything on my list accomplished."
• "I never answer e-mails until 4 p.m."
• "I don't talk to friends while at work."

It is absolutely true that there are tactics that make us successful;  it is equally true that not everything that we do contributes to our success.   So, every once in awhile, it's a good idea to step back and challenge the assumptions about our elements of success.    That, my friends, can be a frightening thing to do - because we are challenging the very composition of what we believe permits us to exist happily and successfully.

Nonetheless, to be really good, we need to step back and assess.    What if we run two miles and did yoga?   What if we stretched ourselves to four miles?    What if we changed up the way we created our to-do list.    What if we answered e-mails three times a day in shorter time blocks?

Understand that none of this is prescriptive - it is suggestive:  we should examine the components of our lives, decide to shake it up and try for something better.

Think of it as a test. . .if it doesn't work, you can always go back to the tried and true - but if a new idea creates something better, then you've been courageous. . .and you'll be happier.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for 2.99 on Amazon Kindle.

How to Turn Dread Into a Good Thing

Dreading the meeting that I had scheduled; but the meeting had to happen.   There was too much bad history, too much crap mucking it up - would have much preferred to stay at home in bed with the covers snugly pulled up to my eyes.

Then, for some reason (miracles must happen), I changed my mind about the meeting.   I decided that maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.      There could be merit in the other views presented.  I might be able to mend a fence vs trying to fend off an attack.  I changed my approach to the meeting from negative to positive with an eye to the idea that the meeting could actually be beneficial.

Guess what?  It was.

Most of us, when facing an undesirable situation, desperately want the other parties involved to change. . .or go away. . .or die!  Truth is, the best way we can get others to change; is to change ourselves.

Why does that work?   Because we have changed the dynamic.    People are going to react to us differently when we change up the way we react to them.   If we anticipate they are going to be miserable human beings - they most certainly will fulfill that expectation.    If, however, we set the stage for a strong, positive interaction. . .seldom will we be disappointed.

The good news/bad news is that we have to swallow some pride to change.   By changing to a more positive outlook, however, we are taking the higher road  Minimally that means that we have put our best foot forward to "make it work."   Maximally it means a better use of our time, an enhancement to our reputation and most important, a positive use of our energy.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for 2.99 on Amazon Kindle.

At Our Best When We are Teaching

The other day I heard a very valued team member begin to teach a new team member how to do their job.  As good as the former team member is, I was impressed that he was even better when he was teaching someone else.

I think that is true for many people.  As good as we may be, we are often better when we are teaching others about what we do.      What happens when we teach that makes us better?

When we teach, we are passing on the culture of what we do everyday.    Often, because we do it everyday, we take it for granted.    When we are giving this culture to others, we have a renewed respect for what we do and how it is done.

When we teach,  often (as we should) in addition to explaining the "what" of the task, we are explaining the "why."      Why we do things is often more important than how we are doing it and even what we are actually doing.    By communicating the why, we are reminding ourselves of the purpose of our work in addition to giving that purpose to the person who is being trained.

To be a successful teacher, we need to be comprehensive in our instructions;  we need to be complete in our actions.  When we are instructing others, we need to show them the complete set of instructions that brings the work to fruition.  Often when we are just repeating a task, we tend to engage shortcuts that may contribute to work that is less than fully realized.

Certainly when we are teaching, we should be aware of and communicating the importance of the work.    Often, when we have done a task solo time after time, we lose sight of the importance of the work - and that's a shame, because we are significant contributors each and every day.

In short, when we teach, we look at our work with a different set of eyes;    if we were to use that extra perspective even when we aren't teaching, it would enable us to be even better and more fulfilled in what we do.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs from Amazon Kindle.

Donald, the Clown: Do You Have Yours?

Recent events (insulting John McCain's war record, giving out Lindsey Graham's cell phone number) would reinforce that Donald Trump is a clown.   Not in the "ha-ha-ha" category;   instead, solidly in the "Hey - look at me" category.   The media loves this type of clown because there is always an outrageous headline;  hence he is getting solid polling numbers.   There are a few things to remember when contemplating Donald Trump  - which I recommend doing as little as possible - but here goes anyway.

The man is not stupid.   Baiting?   Yes.    Manipulative?   Yes.   PT Barnum of our age?   Definitely.

The challenge is that Trump's antics have little to no added value for the rest of us.    He tosses out verbal grenades not to advance civilized discussion - but to get headlines.   He is the Real Housewife of the still-early 2016 Presidential Race.  He will stir up drama just to get camera time.   Effective?  In terms of getting headlines - you bet.   Constructive?  No.

This is to point out that there are many Donald Trump clones (or clowns) in our workplaces.     These are individuals who are smart, but instead of positively impacting the workplace, they use drama and verbal grenades to draw attention to themselves and in so doing, take everyone else's attention from the real issues at hand.   These people are (short-term) very effective at this - and no doubt about it - they are disruptive.

So - what to do?

In this case, if you are leader of a team with a Donald-clone - you are your own media.   Don't take the bait. . . the tactics of rabble rousing and attention getting are only successful if  they are received, broadcast and escalated.   Don't give them undue attention;   don't reward antics with a spotlight.

Your time as a leader is precious - there is never enough of it.    Spend that time with team members who are serious about advancing the mission and tactical agenda.   Invest in the people who play for the entire team, not just themselves.   Slowly and surely, the drama and attention-getting devices will disappear.

Huffington Post got it right the other day when they claimed they were no longer going to write about The Donald under  the header of politics, but instead would report his antics under entertainment.   Take their cue;   don't take the bait of the self-promoter, but instead spend your energy with members of the team who are truly serious about moving the mission forward.

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My book:   "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"   is available for PCs, tablets and e-readers from Amazon Kindle.

7 Keys to Getting the Job

When job-seeking and successful interview advice becomes too tricky. . .honestly, it's just too tricky.  Below are seven foundational elements that I have found influence potential employers in an interview situation.  Here we go. . .


1.   Know your stuff.  Be prepared to demonstrate, through examples of past experiences and knowledge of the world at large, that you truly are very skilled in the area for which you are interviewing.   Beware of catch phrases and emphasis at past employment that may not be known or play well for potential employers - in other words, truly expand your vision within your skill set.  Be prepared to talk about what other companies do and your viewpoints on their actions.

2.  Know their stuff.  Maybe more important than knowing your stuff - is knowing their stuff.   Spend several hours researching your potential employer on-line - you will find information that will guide your decision should you get an offer.    More importantly, however, you should be well versed on their positioning, their news, their sales. . .what analysts are saying and what competitors are feeling.  Use that information liberally in your conversation.

3.  Be natural.   This  is almost oxymoronic in an interview situation in which you feel that so much is on the line.   Re-frame the conversation in your mind;    mentally reposition yourself that it really doesn't matter that much whether you get the job or not - you are just looking forward to having a great conversation about the business.    Which brings us to. . .

4.  Have a conversation, already.     The traditional framework of the interview (answer a question, answer the next question. . .) is deadly.     Get people talking with you.    Once you answer a question, ask a specific question back.   For instance, "That's my general view on garnering sales. . .are there specific areas of concern in this position that you would like to have addressed?"   Which then leads to. . .

5.  Do more listening than talking.    Again, this challenges the traditional framework of the job interview - which is great.   If you can get your potential employer talking about their needs and their business. . .I'm thinking the chances are well above the fifty percent mark that you've got the job.   Moreover, you are getting a lot of information that can help you make a job acceptance decision.

6.  Ask smart questions.   Frame questions that indicate you have knowledge and skills for the job.   For instance. . ."What analytical tools do you already have in place. . .and are they working for you?"  Avoid assumptive questions like "As a competitor, you must stay awake nights worrying about the expansion of Bob's Burgers, what do you intend to do about it?"

7.  Be likable.    And this is probably the most important of all.    People want to work with people they like.     Be likable - heck, be lovable.   You want to leave the room with the interviewers feeling that their day would be just a little bit better if you were on their team.

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Get Over It - Already!

Someone I know was done a customer disservice by a major company. . .15 years ago.   To this day, without any further interaction with said company, they vilify it.   They grasp and hold on to that unfortunate incident and  in doing so, make it part of their DNA.  Never mind that the people responsible probably no longer work for the company (or are dead!).   Never mind that the company has effectively changed ownership and leadership.    This individual is going to hold on to the grudge with a vise-like grip to effectively squeeze every drop of martyrdom out of it until the day they die!

For what?   I don't know.   The only ones who are being harmed at this point are the holders of the grudge.

So it is with individuals within companies.   I've known individuals who've been wronged in the past. . .but years (and I mean YEARS) later, it is still a battlefield. . .but at this point it's only a battle of one.  My belief is that when someone is done a disservice - apologies should be offered and accepted - and then for every one's sanity - move on!     

People, however, seem to be reluctant to move on.    For some reason, they like to grip tightly at the fact that they were done wrong.   Within reason - within reasonable time - part of that is a healing process.    When it becomes prolonged - it becomes injurious to the holder and a major detractor to the work at hand.

People, companies and teams need to be able to move forward. . .when grudges are held well beyond the past-due date; forward motion stops.    With feet planted firmly in the tar pit of "I'm never going forget how I was wronged," these individuals deny themselves the privilege and associated benefits of walking into the future.

Dwelling on past wrongs doesn't rectify the situation;  it does however harm the individual who's gripping on a grudge.   For the sake of the individual, and the team, get over it and move on.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for purchase on Amazon Kindle.

Good Words from Bad People

I have a set of phrases replay in my head nearly everyday;    these phrases, in large part, form the framework for how I live my life and how I work.   The commonality  among them is that the tone is usually positive, the phrases inspire me and they have integrity.

Ironic, then, that when I think of the various sources of these phrases, I'm somewhat alarmed to remember many of these principles of my life were said by people I don't particularly like.

To my defense, there are good reasons I don't like some of these people:    dishonesty, disloyalty. . .and there's one or two that are plain mean.     In that dishonest, disloyal or mean person, however. . .there was something of value.

Often we tend to view the world as black and white, bad and good.    If something is bad - nothing about that entity, we tend to think, is of value.    Or if something is good - then it's all good.  (Come to think of it - probably some of the worst pieces of advice I've been given have been given by very good people.)

To totally dismiss anything someone says because we don't like them - whether for valid reason or not - is truly missing a point.  Life is full of anomalies;  as opposed to being confused by that, we should find grounding in that.      To be able to explore other's worlds and thoughts, even if we don't like them, and find things that work for us is a great, unexpected gift.

Life is seldom black and white - all good or all bad.  If we choose to believe that high contrast black and white,  we miss what makes life interesting.    We most often will find our own truth somewhere in the greys.

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Poets and Engineers

A dear and trusted friend recently remarked that, as a society, we should have at least as many poets as engineers.

This is true in the workplace as well.

In the past decade, an incredible amount of conversation has placed emphasis on STEM programs. . .and that's great. . .but I fear that it has done so at the unnecessary expense of liberal arts.   We need people with well-rounded educations.

In life. . .in work we need people who can build. . .but we also need people who can dream what needs to be built.

At the office, we need someone who can maintain tight controls. . .and we need that other person who can explore beyond the current realms.

On our teams, we need that player who has all the facts and can make strong decisions on those foundations. . .and we need that other player who can see the multiple dimensions  of the decision.

This is a plea then, not so much to our educators who I admire eternally and who are often put under immense public pressure by a misunderstanding public;  but an appeal to all of us to realize the value of well-rounded educations that are not merely just the right answers on a standardized test.   Yes, we need graduates who can find the right answers. . .but the surest way for that to happen is to enable them to be curious and ask the right questions.

A satisfying outcome would be indeed to have as many poets as engineers. . .an excellent outcome would be to have engineers with the souls of poets.


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Let Us Praise the True Heroes of Charleston

The most extraordinary and heroic thing happened today.

As Dylann Roof, the Charleston shooter who took the lives of 9 people attending a church meeting on Wednesday was being charged, the families of the victims had the opportunity to speak to him.

They did what I believe most of America is unable to do at this moment. . .they forgave him.  Here is a quote from a granddaughter of one of the victims:

"Hate won’t win,” she said. "My grandfather and the other victims died at the hands of hate. Everyone’s plea for your soul is proof that they lived in love and their legacies live in love."

All evidence indicates that this was a crime of racial hatred, yet the families forgave him.

Unlike sentencing hearings in which victim's families get to face the accused. . .which may be up to two years after a crime has occurred. . . this is two days after the murders.   There hasn't even been time to have funerals for the victims. . .yet the families forgave him.

Authorities say that Roof almost didn't go through with this plan because all of the people at the Bible study were so nice to him.  Roof shows no remorse;  he certainly has not asked for forgiveness.   Still, the families forgave him.

We are in an age that is often marked by divisiveness.   Non-Christians and those who claim to be Christians often spew hate and promote unequal treatment and even violence in the name of their beliefs.  Some  promote a justice system that can be best be described as  "shoot first before they shoot you" and "let 'em rot in hell."   There are those who believe they hold on to power by holding on to a grudge or vindictiveness.

But, where is the real power?    The real power belongs to those who forgive.   Through their forgiveness, they move on and grow. . . and they enable the rest of us to do the same.

What happened to the victims and their families in Charleston is unspeakable and makes most of what we face in our daily lives. . .political posturing, relational spats, business war games. . trivial in comparison.  The families embraced their beliefs and rose above the horror they and the nation faced on Wednesday. . .and inspired us with true, everlasting power.

Certainly we will remember the victims;   let us always praise their families.    Today, they have shown the world the power of forgiveness.

What to Do When an Employee Smells

One of the first readers of my book quickly asked for a consultation over coffee.   I anticipated a spirited discussion  regarding the finer points of teamwork.  Or perhaps the world view and local actions of the leader?  Or, minimally, motivation for the work team?

Nope.  Instead, "One of my team members smells really bad and I don't know what to do about it."

Why is it worth talking about?    Because as valuable as philosophical leadership discussions are. . . some of the things that are most vexing in the work place are things like "One of my team members smells really bad and I don't know what to do."

You talk about it.

And it sounds something like this.  "Your work performance is really good and your team members really enjoy your company. . and I want you to take that to heart because I hate to bring this up.  Some people have observed you don't always smell like you just stepped out of the shower. . .and I really need you to address it."

"My right hand person is so great. . .but he just won't shut up.  .  . and I don't know what to do about it."

Ironically. . .you talk about it.

And it sounds something like this.  "You know you are incredibly valuable both to me and the remainder of the team, so I hate to bring this up.    Work styles can be very different.   Some people can be very productive being very quiet.   Some people like you can be very productive and talk all of the time.     The problem is that the latter disrupts the former. . .and I need you to tone it down a little bit."
.

"Francine  is constantly whistling. . .and she's whistling off-key. . .and I don't know what to do about it."

You have to talk about it.

And it sounds something like this.  "Francine, I love the joy and energy you bring to the workplace, but I need to ask you a favor. . .would you please whistle a little less. . .some people don't have your same energy and they find it distracting."

All of these talks share these things in common:     they recognize the strength of the team member, they name the challenge and they make a request for change.

So, those things that you really don't want to talk about?     What you really need to do is talk about 'em.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs from Amazon Kindle.

Nightmare at Work? Wake Up!

Last night was one of those nights.  My sound sleep was punctuated by one hellish nightmare:   in this case, I had to write three short stories in less than two hours. . .but couldn't find a typewriter (yes, typewriter!?). . .and then when I found the typewriter I had to figure out how to re-set the margins. . .and the clock was ticking and now I only had an hour and a half. . .and then there wasn't any paper. . .so I had to go to the store for paper. . .but they didn't have any paper because they typically don't sell paper on this specific day. . .and then I had only a little more than an hour left to WRITE THREE SHORT STORIES. . .

And you know how this goes. . .at a certain point, you become aware that this is indeed a nightmare and not real life. . .but, you're warm and toasty in bed. . .and despite the nightmare you're kind of comfortable. . .so you're kind of reluctant to do this, but the only way to make the nightmare stop is to WAKE UP!

That is also so true of the workplace.    I have been in that kind of nightmare, too.   The work was starting to make less and less sense. . .the pressure was building. . .some of the people were (trust me, scary). . .but it was kind of comfortable because I was making a decent living and paying the bills.   Ultimately, though,  the only way I could stop the work nightmare was to wake up and make some changes (in that case - leaving the company).

The nightmares at work can come from many different directions and come in many different forms.  Sometimes the onset is insidious - it slowly builds and before you know it, you're in the middle of a situation in which you are severely compromised.    Very seldom will anyone stop this for you;  you need to wake up and stop it yourself.

This means you need to step out of the "comfortable" routine and do something different:   re-engage the team in a different manner, re-shape the team, get HR involved in a difficult situation, re-direct work. . .or yes, even do what I had to do - quit - and seek happiness elsewhere.

This reminder comes because sometimes in the middle of a nightmare, be it real or a nightmare at work, it's difficult to remember that we do, in fact, need to wake up to make it quit.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Embracing Uncertainty

Trust me when I tell you this. . . I swear I have it built into my DNA that I NEED TO KNOW THE FUTURE AND I NEED TO KNOW IT NOW!  For years, I wanted something that was incredibly predictable so that I could be fully prepared for it.  No surprises. . . .no bumps in the road.   Just clear sailing ahead, please. . .

Through a long series of personal and professional events, I have learned that this is folly.   Certainly one can prepare for the future, but to know the future is truly an oxymoron.

Strong leadership needs to be able to embrace uncertainty. . .and that in itself may seem oxymoronic:  "How can we embrace something so ambiguous - something we don't even know?"

Here's how.

We should have a strong understanding that the future will always be a combination of challenging situations and great opportunities.  Don't be so disappointed by the former that you miss the latter.

Yes, the future will inevitably change, in small or large measure, what we have so carefully pre-planned.    This allows us the opportunity to flex and expand our skills so that we have greater faith in our abilities.  This is our personal and professional evolution.

That expansion of our skills combined with that additional knowledge of life will allow us to open up new worlds of endeavors in ways we had previously considered impossible.  This is how we grow.

The future, unquestionably, holds heartbreaking moments. . .those are moments that ultimately can make us have more empathy for others and a greater understanding of how the world works.

Trusted members of our circle will leave;   new talent will arrive.   We can celebrate the achievements of those moving on;   we can revel in the differing points of view the newcomers bring.

Just as new trees on the forest floor take root in their predecessors, the future is built upon things that we already know.   We should have confidence in that firm foundation.

And. . .if things didn't change. . . that gets pretty damn boring.   

Here's what I've learned through very uncertain times.  If one has true faith in the knowledge of the past and present, then one has the courage to face the future. . .with certainty.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available from Amazon Kindle..

Getting (Un)Stuck on the Workplace

Here is a common complaint, "He/she just doesn't get me.   They don't understand what I'm trying to do."

But do you "get" him or her?

This is how people get stuck in the workplace (and in life).    One personality or leadership style just does not mesh with another.    Unfortunately, we tend to regard altering our approach, to try to understand the other individual, as a personal subtraction.

We should look at it as addition.

Each and every time you are able to reach out beyond what you are familiar with in order to connect with another individual - you've scored a personal and professional win.    You've just expanded your abilities and skill sets.

Yes - it very well may not be the way you are used to doing things.  You may be out of your comfort range.    In fact, to even to get to the place of changing how you communicate or do things in order to connect with the team. . .may require a great deal of trial and error.

At the end of the day, however, once you've established the connection - you actually have done so much more.

• You've made what could easily be a stagnant relationship actually meaningful
• You have demonstrated to the individual that you are serious about your intent because you have taken one of the most powerful actions a leader can take - you've stepped out of your comfort range
• You've acquired a skill set that will not only allow you to be successful with the individual in question, but with other individuals of similar styles

In short, by altering the way you approach the individual, you have not detracted from yourself - but instead you have significantly added to your skill set and positioned yourself as an even more valuable professional.  Instead of getting stuck, you have allowed yourself and the team to move forward.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets from Amazon Kindle.

Winning the Corrective Action Conversation

Here's how it goes down.  Leader either is informed or witnesses a perceived work lapse.   Leader (hopefully) gathers facts and girds loins for unpleasant conversation with the offender.   Because it is an unpleasant conversation combined with the fact that the team member transgressed. . .leader can get pretty worked up about it.  As time for corrective action conversation approaches, leader becomes more over-wrought.    Leader begins conversation with 2-3 choice, forceful statements about the team member's indiscretions (in other words, lets them have it). . .then this happens. . .

• Team member outright denies everything. . .or a portion thereof.
• Team member  tells another side of the story that leader, up to that point, did not realize existed.
• Team member gives reasons, legitimate or not, for their action.

Right there, right then, the entire thing is blown out of the water.

Here's how to avoid this dynamic.    Don't start with the forceful statements (otherwise known as "accusations");  instead, start with questions.

"While you were processing the Miller paperwork, was there something about the project that you found unusual?"

"I understand you are having a disagreement with Susie, would you please provide me with your side of the story?"

"I see that you have been late to work five times - could you tell me what's going on?"

Questions invite participation. . .and as a leader, you want the team member's participation in a corrective action conversation.    First of all, if you don't have the whole story, you need to get it.   Questions provide the team member with an opportunity to give their side of the story;   this means that you have complete information and are not blindsided.

I have also found that if you open the conversation with questions, it is less threatening and allows the team member to have ownership of the subject.    The latter is so important in truly allowing individuals to own their actions and through that ownership, better their careers and team contribution.

An accusation becomes a barrier, both to truly correcting actions and to building better professionals.   A question is an invitation to a conversation, which hopefully leads to not only correcting the action, but better teamwork.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available for I-Pads, tablets and e-readers on Amazon Kindle.

Are You Rich Enough to be a Leader?

I've observed many different types of leaders over the years;   the best are often the richest.

And I'm not talking about cash.   Or stocks.  Or property.

Leaders who are abundant in self-confidence are the ones who don't feel threatened by smart team members or new ideas.

Leaders who have the most emotional intelligence are the ones who are able to figure out HR challenges the quickest and with the highest satisfaction.

Those with the most true courage inside are the ones who are able to lead their teams through not only the best times. . .but the most difficult times. . .with the team fully intact  once the goal is reached.

While not negating the need for ongoing learning and self-improvement, it is those leaders who are content with what they have who can give generously to help other members of the team.

Leaders who have the most questions. . .are often the ones who have most answers.

Those who have the most empathy are the ones who are most able to coach team members out of negative situations.

People  with tons of creativity are the ones who can find the most paths to a successful solution.

And if you don't have enough?   Step back and evaluate your life from a third party perspective - be grateful for all that you see.  Recognize all that is within you that makes you truly rich.   And if you still can't feel it, maybe you just need to recharge- it's just been too long and you're tired - rest and respite will permit you to see the true reality of your skills and be your best.

Material wealth has nothing to do with the ability to be a great leader. . .what's in the heart and soul and brain does.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets from Amazon Kindle.

Why "I'm in a pissy mood" May Be Okay

I've come to the conclusion that "I'm in a pissy mood" may be, in rare instances, an okay leadership statement.  (Well, okay, maybe not said  exactly like that - something akin to  "Not having the best day - so if my energy seems low - don't take it personal"  will suffice.)

Under the header of "none of us are perfect (no matter how much we may like to believe we are)" we all have bad days.    To own it, and admit it to the workforce, is actually a very strong action.

To pretend that we aren't in a bad mood (when we really are) does both our team and us a disservice.  The energy it takes to  slap on a plastic mask of "gee-what-a-great-day" is usually not well spent.   Teams see through that type of artifice (and if they can't you are seriously Oscar-worthy).

There are a few caveats here.    Being good human beings, we probably should probably use this advice on the very rare occasion  (because, truly, there is so much to be thankful for).    If it's a daily occurrence, you are in the wrong profession.   Or need a Xanax.  Or both.

Also - admitting to being in a "state" does not give you license for a personal day of "reign of terror."  It does not give you license to spew forth all of the snarky comments you've held inside for the past 19 years.

Here's what the statement does accomplish.

• If you are in a bad mood - you don't need to fake it.  You can honestly own it.  From my own personal experience - somehow that makes it better.     The day goes better if you just say "You know what - not at my best - I'm just going to work with that."
• You have given your team a frame of reference.   If you are not your usual smiling, friendly, let-me-win-Mr.-Ms.-Congeniality self; they know why.    Because you have given them a reason - they won't take it personally.   If you don't own up to it - people will key into your mood and instinctively start to wonder what they did.   When this happens, the entire team starts to turn upside down.
• When you own it - it will change the way the team interacts with you on that day.     They are less likely to bring up the non-urgent, but irritating stuff that is embedded in daily work.    That helps you.  As a side benefit, if the team takes it upon themselves to manage those little irritating things, without involving you, then you've all learned a good lesson.

Often leaders are Superwoman and Superman.   But we are also human, with human emotions and needs.   That means that the rare day is not as good as the rest.  Own it.  Admit it.   And yes, you can even lead with it.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

. . .And I'm Still a Bitch

True story.  Former team member sees former boss after approximately a ten year hiatus.  Former team member tries to set a positive tone (names have been changed).

"Gloria, you look great. . .you haven't changed a bit."

Gloria responds, "And I'm still a bitch."

Would you like a bellman for that baggage?  Obviously there was some background to the comment, whether the team leader had genuinely been unprofessional or whether it had been a perception of the team members.   Regardless, that morning when Gloria got up and got ready for work, she took that mantle of "I'm a bitch" from that all-too-accessible place in her closet and wore it on her shoulders all day long.

So the question  is,  what mantles do you choose to wear to work that perhaps do not serve you, or the team, so well.    Domineering?   Timid?   Control Freak?     Whether these perceptions are something that we've earned over the years, or are things that  wrongful opinion have bestowed upon us. . .we still have the option of deciding whether we want to "wear" these mantles.

Often we get so in the groove of work that we fail to consciously think about what we really think of ourselves in the workplace;  I am of the belief that many people hate work so much because they hate themselves at work.   Their professional personas are so different than what they want to project that work becomes eight hours of being someone they really don't want to be. , ,or even like.

The good news is that we can, and should, choose each and every day who we want to be at work.   In this process we should be aware of the personality that we've created at work and honestly evaluate if that is the person we want to be.    We should also be aware of how much of our work persona has been bestowed upon us by others ("she's a workaholic, he's a perfectionist, they're pretty much unapproachable) and actively decide how much of that we want adopt. . .and how much of that we need to leave by the roadside.

The freeing thought here is that neither the past nor other's opinions should dictate who we are at work.

We should positively start each day with who we genuinely want to be in the workplace. .  . in other words, want we want to wear to work.  Collaborative?   Inspired?     Fun to be around?   One of the most valued leaders?  Just like you decide which shoes to wear, decide which mantle you wish to wear to work today.


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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets from Amazon Kindle.

Rand Paul Goofs

Paul Rand blew it.

Shortly after announcing his candidacy for President of the United States, he did an interview with Savannah Guthrie and the results were. . .well, unsettling.

Here's the link:

http://www.today.com/news/rand-paul-iran-nuclear-deal-im-going-keep-open-mind-2D80592771

Lesson One:
As a comparative newcomer with different ideas, a platform such as The Today Show provides Senator Paul with an extraordinary opportunity to make his case.  Instead, the interview is noted for the fact that he attempted to school a reporter.  Let's not miss opportunities simply because we cannot hold it together.

Lesson Two:
The dynamics of an interview include the fact that the reporter gets to ask questions and the interviewee gets to answer them.    That's the exchange.  Instead, Senator Paul took a 90 degree turn and decided to take on Savannah Guthrie.    Let's stick to the conversation and align with the rules of civility - it's our best chance to make our voice heard.

Lesson Three:
Seriously, who is better liked?   Savannah Guthrie or Rand Paul?  Presidential candidates need to be liked to get votes.  By alienating Savannah Guthrie, and thus her fans, Senator Paul missed an opportunity to align himself with someone who is popular.  Never, ever estimate the professional value of being truly liked. . .and the honest alliances that can foster that.

Lesson Four:
If you listen carefully, it is Senator Paul who initially interrupts Guthrie, yet he then chides her to not talk over him.  Don't get it twisted.

Lesson Five:
To the core of Guthrie's question, Rand Paul has changed his position, over the course of many years.   It is anybody's privilege to do that.   The world changes and thus, opinions change.  Toward the end of the interview, in discussing the threat posed by Iran, he gets it right.   If he had just owned it up front and explained why he changed his opinion he would have positioned himself as a strong student of international politics vs. someone who got pissy with a reporter.  Own it.

Here's the thing - he's a smart guy, he's articulate - and he lost a  major opportunity with no provocation.   Let's not do the same.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.

Indiana Lessons

From every event in life. . .from every sideshow, there are lessons to be learned.    Which is why we are talking about the debacle that was/is Indiana's RFRA law.

1.   Be realistic to the world that surrounds you.   When Indiana lawmakers were thinking of passing the RFRA, I would hope that someone had the awareness to say, "You know, if we pass this thing the wrath of major corporations and nearly every blue state will come upon us. . .not to mention a sizable portion of the state of Indiana itself."   And yet, they did it anyway.  Or, worse yet, the Indiana General Assembly was so into itself that perhaps it thought it was being a shining beacon for the world. . .instead of a lightning rod.

Whatever the case, the Indiana Assembly was clearly out of step with the larger, and very important issues facing Indiana, the nation and the world today.       Often I see the same things happen in companies. . .they realize that what they are about to do is radically out of tune with their constituency - yet they insist on doing it anyway.   And then, justifiably so, they face the wrath of their employees and customers.  

Let's be smarter and wiser. . .sooner.  As leaders, let's take a realistic measure, daily, of the world that surrounds us and tailor our leadership to what people really need.

2.   Be careful of the spin - it will get you.   The more that Governor Pence insisted that the RFRA was not  aimed at the LGBT community, the more photos started popping up of prominent anti-LGBT individuals present with the Governor at his signing of the law.   Learn this:  ultimately you can not claim that something wasn't what you intended it to be.

Lesson:   from the get go, be very certain of your intent and be honest about it.

3.   Get out of your own BS.     There is one line that drives me more crazy than any other;   unfortunately, I've heard several variations of it lately, but in this case, it came from a pizzeria.  Paraphrasing:     "We don't discriminate;   we just won't offer members of the LGBT community what we offer to everyone else."    That, folks, is discrimination.  Seriously, if you can't be honest with yourself you cannot be honest with the rest of the world.   Similarly,   "team members are my top priority," and then not making time for them.     "People are our greatest resource,"  only to cut staffing to preserve Wall Street's perception of your management acumen.

When things like Indiana's RFRA comes along, I would hope, first and foremost, that we would object;   secondly, from everything that went wrong, I hope we can learn to do things better.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders," is available on Amazon Kindle.