These unprecedented times which accurately can be labeled chaotic reinforce a basic tenet of smart business, smart living and smart lives.
Take a breath.
The onslaught of issues and imagery seem to demand an immediate, off-the-cuff and off-the-shelf reaction. In truth, what they demand is an action - one that is borne out of thoughtfulness and inquiry.
This is true in normal times as well. Think of how popular culture emphasizes the importance of "turn on a dime" thinking. Certainly the culture of many corporations is that the quickest answer is the best answer (not true). Reality shows, such as "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" and, yes, even "The Great British Baking Show," add rather severe timing elements to the tasks at hand so that the net result is not a winner who is ultimately the best, but one who can beat the clock and still come out ahead.
While I am a strong believer in timing as an ally - it goes both ways. Some of the biggest mistakes that I have made have been borne out of a belief that I needed to react more quickly than was necessary. In that reaction, I did not provide myself time to gather the necessary information, seek the required counsel, ask the right questions and, perhaps most importantly, center myself for the task at hand.
Both in "normal" times (are there really any "normal" times?) and these extreme times - to be at our best we must act, but we must act with intelligence, both moral and emotional.
Take a breath. Inquire. Contemplate. Center.
Then move on.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, June 19, 2020
Friday, June 12, 2020
Of "Niceness" and Cake Plates
Millions enjoy the pleasures of watching "The Great British Baking Show." Cakes and "Bread Week" and biscuits and technical challenges - it's relaxing entertainment and hence, it is great television.
Let me point to the obvious, because it's worth noting (especially in this age).
This is one reality show (and a competition reality show, no less) in which everyone is really nice to each other. The hosts are sympathetic and help the contestants, the contestants are more focused on their own successes (or lack thereof) than on their peer's failures. Even the judges, facing the most catastrophic of creations find something nice to say ("But, it has a really great flavor. . .")
Is this why we like "The Great British Baking Show" so much? Proof that people can create and compete and be not only civil to each other, but build bonds and friendship? I think in recent decades we've ignored "nice." We've downgraded it to a middling compliment. And in recent years, let's face it, there are popular forces that decree that "nice" does not make for watchable television or, for that matter, electable politicians.
In its own way, "The Great British Baking Show" demonstrates the power of "niceness" and elevates it to "greatness."
And there's one more thing. . .that prize. When most reality shows are upping the ante ("You're competing for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!" - and then the contestants jump up and down with excitement!). . .what's the big prize on "The Great British Baking Show?"
A cakeplate.
And the recognition and the satisfaction of a job well-done.
Let's just let that sink in.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Let me point to the obvious, because it's worth noting (especially in this age).
This is one reality show (and a competition reality show, no less) in which everyone is really nice to each other. The hosts are sympathetic and help the contestants, the contestants are more focused on their own successes (or lack thereof) than on their peer's failures. Even the judges, facing the most catastrophic of creations find something nice to say ("But, it has a really great flavor. . .")
Is this why we like "The Great British Baking Show" so much? Proof that people can create and compete and be not only civil to each other, but build bonds and friendship? I think in recent decades we've ignored "nice." We've downgraded it to a middling compliment. And in recent years, let's face it, there are popular forces that decree that "nice" does not make for watchable television or, for that matter, electable politicians.
In its own way, "The Great British Baking Show" demonstrates the power of "niceness" and elevates it to "greatness."
And there's one more thing. . .that prize. When most reality shows are upping the ante ("You're competing for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!" - and then the contestants jump up and down with excitement!). . .what's the big prize on "The Great British Baking Show?"
A cakeplate.
And the recognition and the satisfaction of a job well-done.
Let's just let that sink in.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, May 15, 2020
Power Doesn't Shout It's Name
We are supposed to believe, much as Dorothy was supposed to believe the Wizard, that if someone claims they are powerful that they are then, indeed, powerful. Further, we are led to believe that the more bombastic, the louder the claim, the more authentic it is.
I've come to believe that is not true. So, here are a few thoughts on the very nature of power.
A loud voice without wisdom is just a loud voice; true wisdom is so powerful it doesn't need to brag.
Power is not narcissistic; the very energy of power dictates it is not a solo sport.
Power has no need to belittle; power is so secure in it's own right that it is believable without needing to step on other people.
Power does not bully.
Power is willing to challenge itself, it is willing to be wrong for the purpose of finding the right answer.
Power is based on a belief in facts; not what is convenient to believe.
Power is focused on what is good for most; not what is beneficial for a few.
Power is generous.
Power is humble; it is self-evident.
It has no need to shout it's name.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
I've come to believe that is not true. So, here are a few thoughts on the very nature of power.
A loud voice without wisdom is just a loud voice; true wisdom is so powerful it doesn't need to brag.
Power is not narcissistic; the very energy of power dictates it is not a solo sport.
Power has no need to belittle; power is so secure in it's own right that it is believable without needing to step on other people.
Power does not bully.
Power is willing to challenge itself, it is willing to be wrong for the purpose of finding the right answer.
Power is based on a belief in facts; not what is convenient to believe.
Power is focused on what is good for most; not what is beneficial for a few.
Power is generous.
Power is humble; it is self-evident.
It has no need to shout it's name.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle
Saturday, May 2, 2020
From a Distance
Yes, there is social distancing to be observed: at the moment I'm intrigued by the other distance that has been brought about by Covid-19. This distance is one that can create new and beneficial perceptions.
Previously, we were up close and personal, we were in the fray; we were in the middle of it. Now, in this unusual time of quiet, we have distance from that which was so familiar.
Many of us aren't in the same workplace. We aren't surrounded by the same people. Perhaps it has been over a month since we've seen or communicated with our teams. The daily processes that perhaps were mundane are now unusual for lack of practice.
This is an extraordinary time to reflect about what we came to accept as normal. . . this is a quiet time in which we can re-examine the world around is and determine what we want it to be.
The daily interactions that we were used to - do they serve us, the enterprise and others well?
Were we spending too much of life's precious time on redundancy?
The team members who were so regular, perhaps not charismatic, but so dependable. . . how do we consider their contribution now ? (For me, that type of contribution contextually now approaches the extraordinary).
Were we grateful enough? How do we show gratitude going forward?
If, upon self-examination, we found we "put up with stuff - just because;" how do we shed the negativity to create better workplaces? How do we challenge ourselves to lead the best workplaces?
What is really important in our lives? Who is really important in our lives? What and who are our new priorities?
What have we taken for granted that observed in the relative quiet seems so very obvious and pertinent?
This is the perfect time to create our new reality.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Previously, we were up close and personal, we were in the fray; we were in the middle of it. Now, in this unusual time of quiet, we have distance from that which was so familiar.
Many of us aren't in the same workplace. We aren't surrounded by the same people. Perhaps it has been over a month since we've seen or communicated with our teams. The daily processes that perhaps were mundane are now unusual for lack of practice.
This is an extraordinary time to reflect about what we came to accept as normal. . . this is a quiet time in which we can re-examine the world around is and determine what we want it to be.
The daily interactions that we were used to - do they serve us, the enterprise and others well?
Were we spending too much of life's precious time on redundancy?
The team members who were so regular, perhaps not charismatic, but so dependable. . . how do we consider their contribution now ? (For me, that type of contribution contextually now approaches the extraordinary).
Were we grateful enough? How do we show gratitude going forward?
If, upon self-examination, we found we "put up with stuff - just because;" how do we shed the negativity to create better workplaces? How do we challenge ourselves to lead the best workplaces?
What is really important in our lives? Who is really important in our lives? What and who are our new priorities?
What have we taken for granted that observed in the relative quiet seems so very obvious and pertinent?
This is the perfect time to create our new reality.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, April 24, 2020
How to End Up Better
Certainly there are so many awful things about the impact of Covid-19. To be clear, what follows is not meant to minimize those health, welfare and financial consequences.
That's the disclaimer. I am finding, however, that this pandemic is also presenting us with opportunities to move forward with that which we've been wanting to do for a long time.
In conversation with a colleague yesterday, I found her experience in evolving certain aspects of her work to be similar to mine. There are things that we have wanted to change about our work for a very long time; however, we let obstacles get in the way. With the onslaught of this pandemic; it became very clear that we needed to move forward. The priority of the current situation is overcoming the obstacles - not only for the short-term good of the work and individuals involved - but also as a permanent solution.
The impact of Covid 19 is strongly significant - in many ways that are negative. But we should also embrace the ways that it forces us to edit and renogogiate so that we exit this pandemic with a stronger mindset and a better, re-arranged set of priorities.
So we should ask ourselves "What are the things that we have long wanted for our teams?" "What are the ways in which we have wanted to change our work?" "What processes have we wanted to change?"
And here are the key questions. "What has stood in our way?" And, in light of a life changing and culture changing pandemic - are the former obstacles still the priority - or can we proceed with a change we've been meaning to make for a long time?
This is not to suggest that chaos rules; it is to suggest that we should make good, logical use of a chaotic event to make changes that are necessary for better work and better lives.
Because if we can't learn from this - what's the point?
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
That's the disclaimer. I am finding, however, that this pandemic is also presenting us with opportunities to move forward with that which we've been wanting to do for a long time.
In conversation with a colleague yesterday, I found her experience in evolving certain aspects of her work to be similar to mine. There are things that we have wanted to change about our work for a very long time; however, we let obstacles get in the way. With the onslaught of this pandemic; it became very clear that we needed to move forward. The priority of the current situation is overcoming the obstacles - not only for the short-term good of the work and individuals involved - but also as a permanent solution.
The impact of Covid 19 is strongly significant - in many ways that are negative. But we should also embrace the ways that it forces us to edit and renogogiate so that we exit this pandemic with a stronger mindset and a better, re-arranged set of priorities.
So we should ask ourselves "What are the things that we have long wanted for our teams?" "What are the ways in which we have wanted to change our work?" "What processes have we wanted to change?"
And here are the key questions. "What has stood in our way?" And, in light of a life changing and culture changing pandemic - are the former obstacles still the priority - or can we proceed with a change we've been meaning to make for a long time?
This is not to suggest that chaos rules; it is to suggest that we should make good, logical use of a chaotic event to make changes that are necessary for better work and better lives.
Because if we can't learn from this - what's the point?
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 13, 2020
How to Change People's Minds
Based on what is happening in popular culture, one might come to the conclusion that the most efficacious way to change people's minds is just to yell louder than they do. . .or perhaps throw out a 5th grade insult. . .or bully them on social media.
Consider, however, the results. Do we really see any of these tactics change minds. . .or hearts?
Here's the story (thank you NBC news). Qasim Rashid, a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia received (in his words) "deeply hurtful anti-Muslim" tweets. These included a meme that falsely claimed that Islam promotes violent acts of rapes and beheadings.
Rashid did some research on the author of the tweets, Oscar Dillon; he found that Dillon had a GoFundMe campaign because Dillon's retirement savings were depleted. Due to the rising costs of medical care, Dillon and his wife are essentially out of money by the 23rd of each month.
Current popular culture would dictate that Rashid would minimally ignore this, or maximally tweet back something akin to "Karma's a bitch, ain't it?"
But he didn't Instead he donated $55 to Dillon's GoFundMe campaign explaining that "My faith instead teaches me to serve all humanity." Some of the subsequent donations to the campaign are labeled "Inspired by Qasim Rashid."
Rashid said he received a "thoughtful" and "compassionate" apology from Dillon, accompanied by an invitation to visit him. Upon completion of the visit, Rashid posted a tweet of Dillon and himself, "Today I met my new friend Oz."
Dillon, for his part, said his meeting with Rashid was "astounding" and "mind-boggling." Dillon said that he previously had a hatred toward "radical Islam" since he and his loved ones were in danger on 9/11; Rashid's actions have Dillon re-thinking this hatred.
The bridge that connected two sides was simply built; the foundation was a faith in "serving all of humanity." The superstructure was humility and the willingness to connect.
Rashid and Dillon are better individuals. Their community is a little bit of a better place. Our country is little bit better.
Because one individual understood, and acted upon, what it really takes to change people's minds.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Consider, however, the results. Do we really see any of these tactics change minds. . .or hearts?
Here's the story (thank you NBC news). Qasim Rashid, a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia received (in his words) "deeply hurtful anti-Muslim" tweets. These included a meme that falsely claimed that Islam promotes violent acts of rapes and beheadings.
Rashid did some research on the author of the tweets, Oscar Dillon; he found that Dillon had a GoFundMe campaign because Dillon's retirement savings were depleted. Due to the rising costs of medical care, Dillon and his wife are essentially out of money by the 23rd of each month.
Current popular culture would dictate that Rashid would minimally ignore this, or maximally tweet back something akin to "Karma's a bitch, ain't it?"
But he didn't Instead he donated $55 to Dillon's GoFundMe campaign explaining that "My faith instead teaches me to serve all humanity." Some of the subsequent donations to the campaign are labeled "Inspired by Qasim Rashid."
Rashid said he received a "thoughtful" and "compassionate" apology from Dillon, accompanied by an invitation to visit him. Upon completion of the visit, Rashid posted a tweet of Dillon and himself, "Today I met my new friend Oz."
Dillon, for his part, said his meeting with Rashid was "astounding" and "mind-boggling." Dillon said that he previously had a hatred toward "radical Islam" since he and his loved ones were in danger on 9/11; Rashid's actions have Dillon re-thinking this hatred.
The bridge that connected two sides was simply built; the foundation was a faith in "serving all of humanity." The superstructure was humility and the willingness to connect.
Rashid and Dillon are better individuals. Their community is a little bit of a better place. Our country is little bit better.
Because one individual understood, and acted upon, what it really takes to change people's minds.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, March 6, 2020
Love Always Wins, But. . .
The sticker on the car proclaims "Love always wins. . ." and I instinctively found myself in agreement. With a caveat. . .
And inherently I believe that good comes out on top. . .with a caveat.
Let's acknowledge this. The idea that "love always wins" or that "good comes out on top" isn't always to our timeline (which usually means right now) or even necessarily to our specifications (and our wishes can be extremely precise).
What if our passions aren't fulfilled right now? Are we okay? Can we wait?
What if life doesn't unfold exactly the way we want? What are our alternatives? Are we open to the options?
Do disappointments stop the show? Or do we keep going? Do we re-calibrate?
Do we ask ourselves how we move forward and then allow ourselves to move on?
What is our philosophy of life? That anything beyond what we imagine is designed to disadvantage us? That we can only hope and pray for good things to happen, but essentially are powerless to make these things happen for ourselves?
Can we believe that by its very design life is a series of events, some of which will bring us joy, some of which will disappoint us. Can we navigate through this?
Are we willing to change our definitions or even our aspirations so that our souls are nurtured?
Love always wins. . .our passions can be fulfilled, but. . .
Good and life and love don't always work according to our plans.
This often requires adjustment.
It most certainly requires patience.
And a persistent belief that it is all worth the journey.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And inherently I believe that good comes out on top. . .with a caveat.
Let's acknowledge this. The idea that "love always wins" or that "good comes out on top" isn't always to our timeline (which usually means right now) or even necessarily to our specifications (and our wishes can be extremely precise).
What if our passions aren't fulfilled right now? Are we okay? Can we wait?
What if life doesn't unfold exactly the way we want? What are our alternatives? Are we open to the options?
Do disappointments stop the show? Or do we keep going? Do we re-calibrate?
Do we ask ourselves how we move forward and then allow ourselves to move on?
What is our philosophy of life? That anything beyond what we imagine is designed to disadvantage us? That we can only hope and pray for good things to happen, but essentially are powerless to make these things happen for ourselves?
Can we believe that by its very design life is a series of events, some of which will bring us joy, some of which will disappoint us. Can we navigate through this?
Are we willing to change our definitions or even our aspirations so that our souls are nurtured?
Love always wins. . .our passions can be fulfilled, but. . .
Good and life and love don't always work according to our plans.
This often requires adjustment.
It most certainly requires patience.
And a persistent belief that it is all worth the journey.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 21, 2020
Looking for Unicorns in the Promised Land
Life is not perfect; well, at least it's not perfect in the way we envision it to be perfect.
What do people think is the perfect life? No problems, no conflicts, no challenges? Everything goes according to our plan (regardless of how that plan may intersect with others)? Plenty of time, plenty of resources?
From the time we learn there are messages of what a perfect life is supposed to look like. Fairy tales present the world in black and white terms; those who present obstacles are always the "evil" ones. Feel good endings have things not only turning out the way the protagonist desires, but even better! The protagonist is always right. We learn to differentiate between work (presented as undesirable) and life (as if work should not be part of living life). And convenience! In the modern age we've come to believe in nearly magical solutions that erase work and difficulties. . .for our gratification.
And life isn't that way.
Life seldom is as simple as black and white. It is complicated. It requires work. Things don't always go our way. We are frequently wrong. There often are not enough resources.
And this is why we have a heart and brain. This is why we have a soul. We are borne to figure things out. We have reasoning so that we can recognize the grey areas. . .and make the most out of them. We have discernment so that we can look at things from multiple angles and figure out what's right and what's wrong. We have work (and play) to seriously nurture ourselves. We have the ability to find and create resources.
And that's the way life is. If our definition of a perfect life is that everything goes right (from our point of view); I would propose that we've missed the point. Life is complicated. And we can find much joy in complexity.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
What do people think is the perfect life? No problems, no conflicts, no challenges? Everything goes according to our plan (regardless of how that plan may intersect with others)? Plenty of time, plenty of resources?
From the time we learn there are messages of what a perfect life is supposed to look like. Fairy tales present the world in black and white terms; those who present obstacles are always the "evil" ones. Feel good endings have things not only turning out the way the protagonist desires, but even better! The protagonist is always right. We learn to differentiate between work (presented as undesirable) and life (as if work should not be part of living life). And convenience! In the modern age we've come to believe in nearly magical solutions that erase work and difficulties. . .for our gratification.
And life isn't that way.
Life seldom is as simple as black and white. It is complicated. It requires work. Things don't always go our way. We are frequently wrong. There often are not enough resources.
And this is why we have a heart and brain. This is why we have a soul. We are borne to figure things out. We have reasoning so that we can recognize the grey areas. . .and make the most out of them. We have discernment so that we can look at things from multiple angles and figure out what's right and what's wrong. We have work (and play) to seriously nurture ourselves. We have the ability to find and create resources.
And that's the way life is. If our definition of a perfect life is that everything goes right (from our point of view); I would propose that we've missed the point. Life is complicated. And we can find much joy in complexity.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 14, 2020
Drop the Bubble Wrap
I was so intent on being helpful. I needed to get the shipping materials to another department. Scooped up 23 rather large flat boxes under one arm; shoved a rather large roll of bubble wrap under the other and headed off to another building. Managed to navigate my way through a number of obstacles: thank goodness for crash bars and doors that open inward and people who will press an elevator button for you. I had two much in my arms and hands to manage otherwise.
And then I got to the very last hurdle; the "pull" door that requires a badge scan. I had no more resources. I could either stand there, being pathetic until the random individual came along (who I hoped would have a badge) or make the decision to drop the bubble wrap so I could use my badge so I could go forward through that door.
I dropped the bubble wrap. In order to get to my goal, I had to (in this case, temporarily) let something go.
It is a simple point, but sometimes so difficult to do. We convince ourselves that
to be successful in our quest. . .we must hold on to everything.
Sometimes the "everything" we have to hold on to references that specific piece of work. We convince ourselves that everything on the project or concept must be executed as originally thought; that any edit, no matter how judicious, would be a matter of sacrilege.
Maybe the "everything" we hold onto is everything else that is going on. No matter what extra work has come our way, we must continue doing everything we've been doing all along. Only burn-out and disappointment will follow.
Or sometimes we believe we must hold on to the basic tenets of how we've learned to live or work. That every motion, every habit is a necessity - no matter how superfluous it may be or what resources it may ultimately take away from what we are trying to currently achieve.
Editing is helpful. Editing is healthy. Letting go of things enables us to get things done.
Drop the bubblewrap.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
And then I got to the very last hurdle; the "pull" door that requires a badge scan. I had no more resources. I could either stand there, being pathetic until the random individual came along (who I hoped would have a badge) or make the decision to drop the bubble wrap so I could use my badge so I could go forward through that door.
I dropped the bubble wrap. In order to get to my goal, I had to (in this case, temporarily) let something go.
It is a simple point, but sometimes so difficult to do. We convince ourselves that
to be successful in our quest. . .we must hold on to everything.
Sometimes the "everything" we have to hold on to references that specific piece of work. We convince ourselves that everything on the project or concept must be executed as originally thought; that any edit, no matter how judicious, would be a matter of sacrilege.
Maybe the "everything" we hold onto is everything else that is going on. No matter what extra work has come our way, we must continue doing everything we've been doing all along. Only burn-out and disappointment will follow.
Or sometimes we believe we must hold on to the basic tenets of how we've learned to live or work. That every motion, every habit is a necessity - no matter how superfluous it may be or what resources it may ultimately take away from what we are trying to currently achieve.
Editing is helpful. Editing is healthy. Letting go of things enables us to get things done.
Drop the bubblewrap.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, February 7, 2020
Selflessness and Self-Care-Fullness
This week I am reminded again of the critical intersection of selflessness and the ability to care for one's self.
I stand on the foundation that leadership is a selfless act - we should relentlessly support and care for others as our privilege and obligation. This cannot, however, be ongoing if we ourselves fail. If we do not take care of ourselves then we are either partially or fully disabled from the higher mission of caring for others.
The ability to take care of ourselves is often more difficult to accomplish than taking care of others. So, a few meditative thoughts. . .
In my case this week. . .I need a little time, maybe just a few hours, to re-center myself and focus on what is ahead. This may be as simple as a long walk. . .or a few moments in Starbucks. . . or a long nap.
At other times, it may require a re-balancing of time spent at work vs. time spent at home. It may mean that it's time to work out. . .or even commit time to the blessings of a good meal.
It could mean a vacation. It could mean a road trip. It may a visit to the doctor or dentist or massage therapist.
"Shaking things up" is always good for the soul.
A conversation with a trusted friend is a significant part of self-care. Time spent in meditation with ourselves and the world around us is a great complement.
Self-Care-Fullness: the ability to center and nurture ourselves so that we are complete. Only then can we truly serve others as leaders.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
I stand on the foundation that leadership is a selfless act - we should relentlessly support and care for others as our privilege and obligation. This cannot, however, be ongoing if we ourselves fail. If we do not take care of ourselves then we are either partially or fully disabled from the higher mission of caring for others.
The ability to take care of ourselves is often more difficult to accomplish than taking care of others. So, a few meditative thoughts. . .
In my case this week. . .I need a little time, maybe just a few hours, to re-center myself and focus on what is ahead. This may be as simple as a long walk. . .or a few moments in Starbucks. . . or a long nap.
At other times, it may require a re-balancing of time spent at work vs. time spent at home. It may mean that it's time to work out. . .or even commit time to the blessings of a good meal.
It could mean a vacation. It could mean a road trip. It may a visit to the doctor or dentist or massage therapist.
"Shaking things up" is always good for the soul.
A conversation with a trusted friend is a significant part of self-care. Time spent in meditation with ourselves and the world around us is a great complement.
Self-Care-Fullness: the ability to center and nurture ourselves so that we are complete. Only then can we truly serve others as leaders.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 31, 2020
Greatness is Not a Solo Sport
The director who wins the Oscar this year did not win it on their own merit - all you need to do is look at the movie credits to understand that it was not a solo sport.
The conductor of the symphony is not great in their own right. . .just look at the program to understand how many contributors there are to excellence.
The gymnast is seemingly out on the floor by themselves. . .until there is a different camera angle and you realize that there are coaches and team mates and supporters who contribute to the success.
I will guarantee you this. . .if you talk about how great an individual is - that individual did not get that way on their own. There were teachers, friends, parents, grandparents. . .a village, if you will, that contributed to that success.
And if an individual constantly talks about how great they are as a person, they are mis-representing the facts. Because the continuity of greatness also requires that village.
This is a basic tenet of humility - the recognition that we are a community. That we are interdependent upon one another. Beyond that we are interdependent on the vast resources that nature provides (and we should assure that we don't squander).
There is no such thing as a self-made individual.
We must remember this, and act accordingly, daily.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
The conductor of the symphony is not great in their own right. . .just look at the program to understand how many contributors there are to excellence.
The gymnast is seemingly out on the floor by themselves. . .until there is a different camera angle and you realize that there are coaches and team mates and supporters who contribute to the success.
I will guarantee you this. . .if you talk about how great an individual is - that individual did not get that way on their own. There were teachers, friends, parents, grandparents. . .a village, if you will, that contributed to that success.
And if an individual constantly talks about how great they are as a person, they are mis-representing the facts. Because the continuity of greatness also requires that village.
This is a basic tenet of humility - the recognition that we are a community. That we are interdependent upon one another. Beyond that we are interdependent on the vast resources that nature provides (and we should assure that we don't squander).
There is no such thing as a self-made individual.
We must remember this, and act accordingly, daily.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 24, 2020
The Antidote to Righteousness
In the utilization of the word "righteousness" I am keenly aware of the religious connotations (daddy was a Presbyterian minister.) So it is with deliberation that I utilize "righteousness" in describing people's need to be "right." For many, it becomes their religion to almost a cult-like mentality; meaning they no longer question if this is the true path. Their zeal to always be right over-rides all else. . .and more unfortunately, over-rides all others.
Ironically, in that they are flawed. No one is perfect; no one should pretend to be.
So, if there is a higher path, a better answer - what is it?
Inquiry. Let's be curious. We don't know everything (or sometimes, anything) so let's find out. Let's ask a question, then another, then another. We may think we know the truth, but inquiry quickly informs us that we only know a portion of it.
Inclusion. Let's include others. If we stand that only we know the right answer, then we have excluded many, many others who can truly help us get to a better, more iron-clad conclusion.
Humility. Know what's better than leading others to believe you have all the right answers? Letting others know that you don't know everything invites greater individual and communal learning. Admitting that we don't have all of the right answers brings down the walls of defense so that others can admit that they, too, don't have all of the right answers. Then, collectively we can work together for a better world.
Collaboration. While inclusion is the invite to the conversation, collaboration is the ongoing community of conversation and ideas and work that makes the world spin. Righteousness often has servants; collaboration has community.
Knowledge. Again, the irony, but the more we know is the more we realize how much we have yet to learn.
Being "right" all of the time is a false notion. Inquiry, inclusion, humility, collaboration and knowledge are tru-isms that stand the test of time and shine a light for all of us.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Ironically, in that they are flawed. No one is perfect; no one should pretend to be.
So, if there is a higher path, a better answer - what is it?
Inquiry. Let's be curious. We don't know everything (or sometimes, anything) so let's find out. Let's ask a question, then another, then another. We may think we know the truth, but inquiry quickly informs us that we only know a portion of it.
Inclusion. Let's include others. If we stand that only we know the right answer, then we have excluded many, many others who can truly help us get to a better, more iron-clad conclusion.
Humility. Know what's better than leading others to believe you have all the right answers? Letting others know that you don't know everything invites greater individual and communal learning. Admitting that we don't have all of the right answers brings down the walls of defense so that others can admit that they, too, don't have all of the right answers. Then, collectively we can work together for a better world.
Collaboration. While inclusion is the invite to the conversation, collaboration is the ongoing community of conversation and ideas and work that makes the world spin. Righteousness often has servants; collaboration has community.
Knowledge. Again, the irony, but the more we know is the more we realize how much we have yet to learn.
Being "right" all of the time is a false notion. Inquiry, inclusion, humility, collaboration and knowledge are tru-isms that stand the test of time and shine a light for all of us.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 17, 2020
Our Own Personal Prison
When the individual heard that the class she loved so much was moving locations, she was genuinely bereft to the point of inconsolable. In tears, she lamented the end of something she loved so much. The class, however, was moving only a few miles away. Since the individual was coming from twenty miles away, one could make the point that the extra miles were inconsequential. To the individual, however, they were insurmountable. She built her own walls and was trapped within.
This is not uncommon; we all do it. It's . . .
"so far"
"inconvenient"
"not my scene"
"not my crowd"
"too much work"
"something I'm not good at"
"frightening"
"not worth it"
"something that makes me really uncomfortable"
"not that which I'm used to doing"
"out of scope"
"not part of my ethos"
"I'm not good enough"
etc.
Many of these, save for the self-deprecating statements, are perfectly legitimate; provided we are satisfied with the outcome. If we are not satisfied with the outcome, then we have built our own prison. We are unable to access that which we want or need or crave because we have created the barriers.
There are the barriers that have been created for our own safety. Barriers that we create that do not serve us well are the ones that keep us from happiness and fulfillment. While often we want to say that it is external forces that hold us back; it is equally true, or maybe more true, that what we say we can't or won't do is self-created. In that, we are our own worst enemies
Take an inventory. Do the barriers that we have created truly serve us well and keep us safe and content? Or is it merely an untested assumption that we have to continue living with what we have told ourselves we can't do?
The prison that we certainly can break out of is one of our own making.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
This is not uncommon; we all do it. It's . . .
"so far"
"inconvenient"
"not my scene"
"not my crowd"
"too much work"
"something I'm not good at"
"frightening"
"not worth it"
"something that makes me really uncomfortable"
"not that which I'm used to doing"
"out of scope"
"not part of my ethos"
"I'm not good enough"
etc.
Many of these, save for the self-deprecating statements, are perfectly legitimate; provided we are satisfied with the outcome. If we are not satisfied with the outcome, then we have built our own prison. We are unable to access that which we want or need or crave because we have created the barriers.
There are the barriers that have been created for our own safety. Barriers that we create that do not serve us well are the ones that keep us from happiness and fulfillment. While often we want to say that it is external forces that hold us back; it is equally true, or maybe more true, that what we say we can't or won't do is self-created. In that, we are our own worst enemies
Take an inventory. Do the barriers that we have created truly serve us well and keep us safe and content? Or is it merely an untested assumption that we have to continue living with what we have told ourselves we can't do?
The prison that we certainly can break out of is one of our own making.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 10, 2020
The Race; The Competition
If you live the longest - do you win?
Or, if you die with the most money - are you the victor?
Or, if we get more awards than someone else; or if we are in better physical shape - are we then better?
What if you have the most "Likes" on Facebook. Is that how you win?
Certainly there are things in life that are a competition: a road race, a football game, competition between business rivals (hopefully not within the same enterprise). That's legit. But how we live our lives (contrary to what is propagated on popular culture) should not be a competition.
We should not think of the abundance of life in such scarce terms that we believe that we have to "win" at the expense of all others. If we consider life as such, then certainly life is unfair because our basic competitive philosophy dictates always there is a winner. . .and lots of losers.
And that simply is not the reality of life; the reality of life is that it is richly abundant with resources. Our job is to choose those things which fulfill us and support the community around us. A life well-lived is not one that is a constant competition or comparison, but instead is one of personal satisfaction. That personal satisfaction is not gained by "beating others;" instead it is gained through supporting others.
Perhaps we need to change our internal definition of winning. If we fulfill our potential, live lives that are satisfying to us and support our communities - then, truly, we win.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Or, if you die with the most money - are you the victor?
Or, if we get more awards than someone else; or if we are in better physical shape - are we then better?
What if you have the most "Likes" on Facebook. Is that how you win?
Certainly there are things in life that are a competition: a road race, a football game, competition between business rivals (hopefully not within the same enterprise). That's legit. But how we live our lives (contrary to what is propagated on popular culture) should not be a competition.
We should not think of the abundance of life in such scarce terms that we believe that we have to "win" at the expense of all others. If we consider life as such, then certainly life is unfair because our basic competitive philosophy dictates always there is a winner. . .and lots of losers.
And that simply is not the reality of life; the reality of life is that it is richly abundant with resources. Our job is to choose those things which fulfill us and support the community around us. A life well-lived is not one that is a constant competition or comparison, but instead is one of personal satisfaction. That personal satisfaction is not gained by "beating others;" instead it is gained through supporting others.
Perhaps we need to change our internal definition of winning. If we fulfill our potential, live lives that are satisfying to us and support our communities - then, truly, we win.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, January 3, 2020
Do This in the New Year and You Will be Successful
This is the typical claim, isn't it? Do this diet, participate in this fad or do as the process prescribes and success will automatically be yours.
Well, maybe yes and maybe no - but I do know that this one thing that really works: ask a lot of questions.
Why should we ask a lot of questions? Because we don't know all of the answers.
But what if we think we know the answer; why ask a question then? Because there is a good chance that we really don't know the answer. Because maybe one or two more questions will solidify whether or not we really know the facts.
Doesn't asking questions make us look less knowledgeable vs. just being able to give the right answer? Nope. Actually the opposite is usually the case.
What if I get an answer I don't like? Then we get an answer we don't like - but it gives us a firmer foundation upon which to move forward.
What if I embarrass myself by asking a question? In reality, this seldom happens. In fact, we most often subjugate ourselves with spouting a wrong answer. Even if we are embarrassed, we can learn something by the answer/the reaction/the feedback.
What does asking a question do vs. just straight up giving an answer? It invites participation. It opens a conversation. It begins an interchange.
Instead of just asking a "bunch of questions" isn't there another way to think about this? Yes, we are engaging in inquiry. We are trying to find out more. We are sharing opinions, We are fact finding.
Is there a formula for asking the right question? Really, no. Even the simplest of answers can lead us to places of commonality or additional inquiry that we have failed to consider thus far. But, be genuine. Be genuinely interested.
Be invested in finding things out.
What questions do you need to ask?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Well, maybe yes and maybe no - but I do know that this one thing that really works: ask a lot of questions.
Why should we ask a lot of questions? Because we don't know all of the answers.
But what if we think we know the answer; why ask a question then? Because there is a good chance that we really don't know the answer. Because maybe one or two more questions will solidify whether or not we really know the facts.
Doesn't asking questions make us look less knowledgeable vs. just being able to give the right answer? Nope. Actually the opposite is usually the case.
What if I get an answer I don't like? Then we get an answer we don't like - but it gives us a firmer foundation upon which to move forward.
What if I embarrass myself by asking a question? In reality, this seldom happens. In fact, we most often subjugate ourselves with spouting a wrong answer. Even if we are embarrassed, we can learn something by the answer/the reaction/the feedback.
What does asking a question do vs. just straight up giving an answer? It invites participation. It opens a conversation. It begins an interchange.
Instead of just asking a "bunch of questions" isn't there another way to think about this? Yes, we are engaging in inquiry. We are trying to find out more. We are sharing opinions, We are fact finding.
Is there a formula for asking the right question? Really, no. Even the simplest of answers can lead us to places of commonality or additional inquiry that we have failed to consider thus far. But, be genuine. Be genuinely interested.
Be invested in finding things out.
What questions do you need to ask?
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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