In the fitness world, there is a lot of conversation about the core. In evaluating companies or organizations, there is always the question, "What are the core strengths?" To me, our core is our diversity, but it should also be the recognition of those most basic things that bind us together. In an age of divisiveness, let's recognize the commonality among us. . .
We all have a purpose in life.
We all make mistakes.
We all do stupid stuff.
We all need to be forgiven. . .and to forgive.
To varying degrees, we all face injustices; this should enable us to seek justice and equality for all.
We all need to be loved.
We will never know all sides of a story, yet. . .
We all have a thirst for knowledge that should never be quenched.
We will never be right 100% of the time. . .or maybe 75% of the time. . .or even 50% of the time.
We all need to know that someone cares.
We need friends.
We need to determine what feeds our soul and pursue that.
We all work; we all play.
We all have different talents.
We all look at life slightly, or a lot, differently.
We are all different; this is why diversity matters.
And yet, we are very much the same.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Friday, August 18, 2017
Outlook - AKA. . .?
I think people hate e-mail because people abuse e-mail. Perhaps companies should just change Outlook to suit the needs of the chronic e-mail abusers. . .
ATTENTION ALL TEAM MEMBERS
Our committed members of "Efficiency 2018 Committee" have made their recommendations. One of these will be fully implemented next Friday. We are permanently disabling the "Reply" button on Outlook. No one is using it anyway and it seems misleading to leave it active - it only leads our people to false hopes that someone will read their efforts and possibly respond. . .
or. . .
GOOD NEWS - "REPLY ALL" JUST GOT EASIER!
Great news from our IT department. Since all of you just hit the "Reply All" button regardless - this is now going to be your only choice. But wait, it's enhanced - not only will it "Reply All" to each addressee, but your witty commentary will be sent to every individual within our eco-universe. You may also add a custom list so that your reply will also go to your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, members of your church, people you see in the grocery store. . .all of the people who hang on each and every word that disgorges from your keyboard!
or. . .
OUTLOOK IS NOW "PROJECT MISSILE LAUNCH"
In recognition of those who prefer a passive aggressive style of communication, this new name pays tribute to all of you who carefully avoid confrontation like the plague but choose instead to craft poison pen e-mails in the cave-like atmosphere of your dank, dark cubicle. You may then gleefully launch these flaming bombs not only to the addressee but also cc anyone else who you want to impress with your ultimate villainy.
but wait, there's more. . .the enhanced version is
OUTLOOK IS NOW "WORLD AT WAR WITHOUT END"
Due to the tremendous success of Project Missile Launch, we offer an enhanced version so that both authors and responders can engage in non-stop verbal warfare using the longest, most rational-free sentences in the universe. Program offers auto-insert of popular, inflammatory phrases like, "I smite thee" or "May the wrath of our accounts payable department rain hot coals upon your head." Unlimited response privileges - it can go on for hours. . .days. . .years, even!
OUTLOOK WILL NOW STRENGTHEN YOUR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
"How is this possible, you ask?" Simple. If your e-mail extends beyond 5 concise paragraphs or should be replaced with a personal conversation, Outlook will automatically disable your keyboard, forcing you to forsake a digital word salad for what should be a face to face interaction.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
ATTENTION ALL TEAM MEMBERS
Our committed members of "Efficiency 2018 Committee" have made their recommendations. One of these will be fully implemented next Friday. We are permanently disabling the "Reply" button on Outlook. No one is using it anyway and it seems misleading to leave it active - it only leads our people to false hopes that someone will read their efforts and possibly respond. . .
or. . .
GOOD NEWS - "REPLY ALL" JUST GOT EASIER!
Great news from our IT department. Since all of you just hit the "Reply All" button regardless - this is now going to be your only choice. But wait, it's enhanced - not only will it "Reply All" to each addressee, but your witty commentary will be sent to every individual within our eco-universe. You may also add a custom list so that your reply will also go to your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, members of your church, people you see in the grocery store. . .all of the people who hang on each and every word that disgorges from your keyboard!
or. . .
OUTLOOK IS NOW "PROJECT MISSILE LAUNCH"
In recognition of those who prefer a passive aggressive style of communication, this new name pays tribute to all of you who carefully avoid confrontation like the plague but choose instead to craft poison pen e-mails in the cave-like atmosphere of your dank, dark cubicle. You may then gleefully launch these flaming bombs not only to the addressee but also cc anyone else who you want to impress with your ultimate villainy.
but wait, there's more. . .the enhanced version is
OUTLOOK IS NOW "WORLD AT WAR WITHOUT END"
Due to the tremendous success of Project Missile Launch, we offer an enhanced version so that both authors and responders can engage in non-stop verbal warfare using the longest, most rational-free sentences in the universe. Program offers auto-insert of popular, inflammatory phrases like, "I smite thee" or "May the wrath of our accounts payable department rain hot coals upon your head." Unlimited response privileges - it can go on for hours. . .days. . .years, even!
OUTLOOK WILL NOW STRENGTHEN YOUR WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
"How is this possible, you ask?" Simple. If your e-mail extends beyond 5 concise paragraphs or should be replaced with a personal conversation, Outlook will automatically disable your keyboard, forcing you to forsake a digital word salad for what should be a face to face interaction.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 11, 2017
Absolution from "Shoulds"
Properly defined, the word "should" is in the middle of the spectrum that at one end is "I choose to float through life on a unicorn and responsibility is a word that I don't understand" and on the other extreme is "I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD AND THERE ISN'T ANYONE WHO CARES BUT ME!" "Should", property defined, expresses respect and ownership. A few of the proper uses of the word would be:
"I should care about others less fortunate than me."
"I should be ethical."
"I should put the toilet seat down."
Many of us, however, suffer from over-indexing on "should" to the extreme, and in the process, become so tied up in anxiety that it becomes nearly impossible to function, not to mention having the ability to do all of the good things we wish to do. "Should" should be good. "Should" should have balance. With that in mind, let me offer absolution to some "shoulds" that you may be experiencing.
"I should enjoy my job and I feel guilty because I don't." Stop it. You should be grateful you have an income, but don't confuse that with enjoying your job. I believe work is meant to be enjoyed, but some jobs don't offer that satisfaction. If yours doesn't, don't guilt yourself into believing it does. Find yourself a better job.
"I should be able to work an 8-10 hour day, come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner, exercise, serve on the neighborhood board and still find some me-time. . ." Nope. You are officially absolved. You may be tired, irritable and exhausted. . .because that's what any normal person would be.
"I should be able to afford a better house/car/second house/better wardrobe/send my kid to an Ivy League school/retire at age 45. . ." Whoa, whoa, whoa. All this becomes longing for that which probably can't be. . .at least, all at once. Find joy in what you do have. . .more will come. . .all in good time.
"I should be a better friend." I don't know what that means. If there is an actionable specific, like "I should set aside a little more time to spend with my best friend," that's good. Any "should" that is vague is not actionable - and that doesn't help anyone.
"I should be thinner/more punctual/a better driver/a thriftier shopper/a world traveler. . ." There is a difference between aspirations and "shoulds" that drive you crazy. If you aspire to something, that's a goal to reach. To position such statements as "shoulds" suggests you're negligent, which isn't the case.
"I should have less 'shoulds' in my life." This would be a proper use of the word "should."
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
"I should care about others less fortunate than me."
"I should be ethical."
"I should put the toilet seat down."
Many of us, however, suffer from over-indexing on "should" to the extreme, and in the process, become so tied up in anxiety that it becomes nearly impossible to function, not to mention having the ability to do all of the good things we wish to do. "Should" should be good. "Should" should have balance. With that in mind, let me offer absolution to some "shoulds" that you may be experiencing.
"I should enjoy my job and I feel guilty because I don't." Stop it. You should be grateful you have an income, but don't confuse that with enjoying your job. I believe work is meant to be enjoyed, but some jobs don't offer that satisfaction. If yours doesn't, don't guilt yourself into believing it does. Find yourself a better job.
"I should be able to work an 8-10 hour day, come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner, exercise, serve on the neighborhood board and still find some me-time. . ." Nope. You are officially absolved. You may be tired, irritable and exhausted. . .because that's what any normal person would be.
"I should be able to afford a better house/car/second house/better wardrobe/send my kid to an Ivy League school/retire at age 45. . ." Whoa, whoa, whoa. All this becomes longing for that which probably can't be. . .at least, all at once. Find joy in what you do have. . .more will come. . .all in good time.
"I should be a better friend." I don't know what that means. If there is an actionable specific, like "I should set aside a little more time to spend with my best friend," that's good. Any "should" that is vague is not actionable - and that doesn't help anyone.
"I should be thinner/more punctual/a better driver/a thriftier shopper/a world traveler. . ." There is a difference between aspirations and "shoulds" that drive you crazy. If you aspire to something, that's a goal to reach. To position such statements as "shoulds" suggests you're negligent, which isn't the case.
"I should have less 'shoulds' in my life." This would be a proper use of the word "should."
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Holding On to That Hurt. . .
For several weeks, I have been subject to varying degrees of back pain; finally I sought the help of a massage therapist to relax the muscles and get things to a better place. During the first few minutes of massage work, I'm struck by how difficult it initially is to relax. . .to let go. It's like the back pain has become part of me and my body is, to some degree, is reluctant to give it up.
Similarly, I have found in my own experience, and in my observation of others - that often we are reluctant to let go of those situations that have been unfair or caused us pain.
To varying degrees, we have all experienced bad things in our lives. Like all of life's experiences, these events become part of our DNA. As a learning experience it can mold and shape us; it should not become a way of living life.
The unfairness of a situation hurts a victim once; but if the victim refuses to let go of it, it hurts the victim for a lifetime.
It is one of the common misconceptions that if we hold onto a hurtful experience, we are gaining retribution against those who have wronged us: "I'm never going to shop at that store again." "I'm never going to speak with her in my lifetime." "After that experience, I will never trust anyone." The person who is hurt the most by these statements is not the subject. . .but the speaker.
I've seen people hold onto hurt with a vise-like grip for, no kidding, decades. For what purpose? The holding of a grudge only serves to make us bitter people, or fearful people. . . it makes us individuals who are incapable of forgiving, learning and moving on.
Moving on is the goal. If we allow ourselves the privilege of going forward, we are then unstuck. We are then productive. We can then see the world clearly - both for the better and the worst. If we are stuck, however, it is a very one dimensional and sad place to be.
The popular saying of "life is not fair" is too easy. . .it's too cynical without engaging in critical thinking. Certainly elements of life are not fair. . .and that is often very bad. Ultimately, however, our internalization of these things should be lessons of learning, inquiries into equality and the opportunity to turn that which wasn't good into something that can make the world (and ourselves) better.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
Similarly, I have found in my own experience, and in my observation of others - that often we are reluctant to let go of those situations that have been unfair or caused us pain.
To varying degrees, we have all experienced bad things in our lives. Like all of life's experiences, these events become part of our DNA. As a learning experience it can mold and shape us; it should not become a way of living life.
The unfairness of a situation hurts a victim once; but if the victim refuses to let go of it, it hurts the victim for a lifetime.
It is one of the common misconceptions that if we hold onto a hurtful experience, we are gaining retribution against those who have wronged us: "I'm never going to shop at that store again." "I'm never going to speak with her in my lifetime." "After that experience, I will never trust anyone." The person who is hurt the most by these statements is not the subject. . .but the speaker.
I've seen people hold onto hurt with a vise-like grip for, no kidding, decades. For what purpose? The holding of a grudge only serves to make us bitter people, or fearful people. . . it makes us individuals who are incapable of forgiving, learning and moving on.
Moving on is the goal. If we allow ourselves the privilege of going forward, we are then unstuck. We are then productive. We can then see the world clearly - both for the better and the worst. If we are stuck, however, it is a very one dimensional and sad place to be.
The popular saying of "life is not fair" is too easy. . .it's too cynical without engaging in critical thinking. Certainly elements of life are not fair. . .and that is often very bad. Ultimately, however, our internalization of these things should be lessons of learning, inquiries into equality and the opportunity to turn that which wasn't good into something that can make the world (and ourselves) better.
Like it? Share it!
My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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