Question = Invitation

To get a positive resolution to almost any challenge - we need interaction.   The old model of "I'm just going to shout directions and you're just going to do what I say" is flawed and if successful, is only successful for a few minutes.

Whether peer to peer or leader to team member, sometimes it is difficult to get a conversation going;  it is often more difficult to get true engagement.   The good news here is that it is fairly easy to change these dynamics:   ask questions.

When faced with a challenge, our minds often run the tape of "This is what I need to say."  "This is what I need to get off of my chest."  "I need to set things straight."      All of these are statements that seldom will elicit a response that is constructive.   And let's think about a further disservice:   these are assumptive statements that may not be correct, putting us in a compromised territory.

We learn nothing from assumptive statements and assumptive statements do not build a relationship.  And, yes, the relationship is pretty much everything.

Change the dynamics.   Ask questions instead.

Questions implicitly require a response;    they are an invitation to engage.  As opposed to a directive which practically requires no response - a question invites a conversation.   It breaks down that initial, awkward wall of unresponsiveness.

Further, a question puts the conversation on equal footing because it now becomes an exchange:  an explanation, an opinion, a counter opinion or even perhaps another question.    It also avoids the assumptive trap that doesn't serve either party well;  it allows, instead, for learning and growing.

If you are in the business of building relationships - start with questions.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle. 

Judgment

We love formulas  - especially those that lead to quick fixes:  "3 tried and true ways to lose 10 pounds in 30 days."  "The surefire way to win at negotiations."  "5 Easy Steps to a Better You."
The self-help aisle is filled with formulas;   infomercials thrive on them.

Yes, it's true - often good instructions lead to even better results.   It is also true that often in life a set formula. . .or even a black and white solution. . .will not achieve the desired results.

There are times . . .often. . .when we need to use that great gift that humans have. . . judgment.  Daily we face difficult decisions:  it is not immediately clear what is the best path and by trying to apply a set formula we will miss the mark.

Formulas are often very easy;    often decisions are not.    There are many factors to be considered that one formula will simply not accommodate.  Our brains are built to make complex decisions, yet often we choose to default to what is easier - and that is a mistake.    Why is it a mistake?  Because often fairness and justice get missed in venda-decisions.  Opportunities often are unrewarded.

Yes, strong judgments require more work.   They take more time (and in an age of "rushing" - we should dedicate ourselves to more thoughtful decision making.)    Critical thinking and inquiry mean that we are looking at difficult decisions from many angles and differing points of view.   While these tools may not necessarily mean we are making decisions that make everyone happy - they do assure that we are making better-informed decisions.

You see if every decision is automated by a formula- then there really isn't a need for human thought and emotional intelligence.  Be assured, that now more than ever, there is a great desire for both.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Good People

On my way to work I stopped and got a gift card for a  team member.    This individual does not work directly with me;   however, she brings an incredible amount of value not only to my team but to the rest of the enterprise.     She is smart.  She is kind.  She knows and supports the business.   She is reliable.   She takes the work  seriously and she has a sense of humor.

She is one of the good people.

And there are many good people to be celebrated.   The problem is that often we get very tangled up  in what people aren't doing right or who didn't follow directions or who did this wrong - and that becomes the focus of our work and life.  Yes, there are challenges that need to be dealt with -  but do we spend at least as much time celebrating and emphasizing the good people as we do with those who present challenges to us?

First of all, focusing on  the good people  is the right thing to do:   we must tell people what they are doing right.    We need to underscore the foundation that makes them good.    We should be unafraid to praise over and over those qualities that make them valuable to us and the remainder of the team.

After we underscore the right things they do - we must thank them.   Truly they make our jobs, and everyone else's job, a little bit easier and lot more enjoyable.  It is a gift that they give, we receive and we should extend authentic gratitude.

We should celebrate them.    Both in our thoughts and publicly.   Be unafraid to reward the good people.    Sometimes you hear something akin to "But he was employee of the month last month - I can't give to him again."   Yes, yes you can.

There are so many good people, yet our attention waivers toward what isn't so good.  Let's re-direct;  let's be thankful and celebrate the people that make life, and work, so worthwhile!

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Right Things to Do. . .

Why do we do things?

We honor diversity because it is at the very core of our being.   We are all different.  We all think differently, act differently. . . we have varying cultural experiences. . .we look at life through different lenses.   These differences are the super cement by which we build a better world.  And. . .oh by the way. . .if we truly honor diversity our business will be better.

We take time to talk with people to build bridges.  Through communication we learn - both the good things and the not-so-good things.   We establish both professional and personal relationships that are mutually enriching.    And. . .oh by the way. . .if we take time with people our business will be better.

We are concerned about the environment because it sustains us - it allows us to live and thrive.    If we deplete it, our sustenance is gone.    And. . .oh by the way. . .environmentalism is good business.

Communities are at the forefront of our thought process.    We are communities - we are the composites that comprise villages. To neglect our community is self-neglect as well as the neglect of others.  And. . .oh by the way. . .community support is good for business.

The world community is at the forefront of our thought process because it is the reality of today.  Integration throughout the globe is not only key to leadership but integral to a stronger understanding of what it means to truly succeed.   And it is good business.

And we are progressive because that is the very nature of life.   Rivers move onward, land masses change. . .and so must we.  Adaptability combined with a strong vision of a peaceful future is key to our survival. . .in life and in business.

I think about these things often;   as referenced above, these things are often talked about just in terms of building a better business.   And it is true.  Diversity, relationships, environmental and community support, an understanding of not only a global economy but of a global integration. . .all of these things are good for business.

But first and foremost, we must remember this - we do these things because they are the right things to do.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available on Amazon Kindle.