Just a Kind Word. . .

People don't know what's going on with you.  You may be doing a really terrific job of hiding that you are having a lousy day.       They may not know that a peer was incredibly inconsiderate of you.  The fact that you are struggling at home, or with friends, may go completely unnoticed.    The idea that you're insecure about your most recent HR action probably doesn't even register.

So when someone says something nice to you. . .when they take a moment to acknowledge you. . .when they tell you what a great job you did or how incredible your workplace looks - it really means a lot to you.  Your whole day just got a lot better.

You don't know what's going on with those around you. . .that maybe they feel unappreciated, or lonely or threatened.   That maybe a little word from you would just change their world for the better.

So let's look for the good.    The little and the good.  What a great job someone did on a major (or minor) project.  Or how much you always appreciate how  dependable they are.  Or how well they do their job. . .or collaborate with their peers.   Tell them how they have positively impacted your life, the life of their co-workers  and the workplace in general.

Thank them.  Again and again.

Take time to look up and out.  Say hello to your co-workers when you arrive in the morning;   wish them a pleasant evening when you leave.   Get water to fill up the coffee maker;   get someone a cup of tea.  Bring them chocolate.

In a world that is currently crying out for civility - let's go one better.  Go beyond. . .make your place and their place. . . a better place.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle

No Such Thing as a Perfect World. . .

We have been raised in a culture that has a certain definition and penchant for perfection.  From the get-go, getting all the answers right on a test in school gets you high praise - you were supposed to get everything right.  If religious, we are supposed to be in the image of the deity, in other words - perfect.   Now layer on how in the past decades we've approached life;    we've supposedly made everything easier. . .and quicker.   We expect everything to go according to plan. . .and there's not anything particularly wrong with that. . .except that it is the very nature of life that not everything is going to go according to plan.

And then what do we do?

With the preoccupation of perfection. . .are we really prepared to deal with imperfection?   

Here's the deal that we, in our desire for perfection, often ignore.   We have a whole tool box that we've been given to help us deal with the inevitability that things will not always go our way.   Resilience.  Patience.   Hope.  Negotiation.  Options (usually lots and lots of options).  The list goes on. . .

Instead of using these wonderful resources, often we become so frustrated that things aren't going our way that we lash out. . .or give up hope. . .or just keep doing what we've been doing.    Honestly, those things make what might be slight imperfections. . .HUGE PROBLEMS.

Reality?    There's no such thing as a perfect world. . .and the wondrous thing is that we are able to deal with that - and should deal with that.

The lesson from nature.  I suppose we could look at a "perfect" scenario" of a stream, with tree-lined banks on a sunny day of 72 degrees or so.  And the truth about nature is that there are days like that. . .and there are days when wind storms take down those beautiful trees. . .or that placid stream floods over the shoreline.  .   .or the cold makes all of the deciduous vegetation unseasonably late.   And then nature calls upon its innate resources to repair itself.

That's what we must do as well. . .because that's what we've been made to do.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Not Ready. Ready.

In two short days that will seem like mere minutes, our son, who was a newborn yesterday, will graduate from high school.

I am not ready for this.   I am not ready to leave it behind.

I want at least one more band concert.    I want to re-live the frenetic activity of getting him ready for a school trip.    I want the continued conversations of what happened at school today and which teachers did what.  It is all so good and it is all so amazing.

I'm not really prepared to hear the opening strains of Pomp and Circumstance.   I cannot guarantee that I will not be a complete mess when I first see him walking in his cap and gown.  There is the reality  that once he is given his diploma, 18 years of preparation are in the rear view mirror.   I really am not ready.

And yet, I am ready. . .because I have to be.

There is no choice;   life keeps moving onward.   Each breath.   Each step.   Each question mark and exclamation point moves us forward.   To the next thing.  To the next adventure.   To my new favorite thing.   If we don't move forward with life, we are out of sync with life;  to be out of sync with life means missing so very much.

So I know I have no choice in the matter.   I am resolved to the very idea that I know in my heart is true;   that as much as I will cherish what has been - there are greater stories and bigger adventures ahead.

This is the life to be lived.  So I take a deep breath, look up and commit myself. . .

I am ready.

The Reality of Humility

Theresa May made a mistake.

The Prime Minister of Great Britain called for an unnecessary election.   Why?     Her poll numbers were very strong;  her party's poll numbers were good.         She thought that she could build an even greater majority (thereby strengthening her political position on  Brexit) by calling for an election.   Unsatisfied with what she had, she wanted more.

This morning we awake to headlines indicating she is barely hanging on to power.   Her party lost seats in the election and Prime Minister May has been humiliated.

There is a great lesson to be learned here:   when we are on top of our game let's not be so full of ourselves that we take it for granted that we can get even more.     Time and again I have seen this idea backfire on the perpetrators.

Let's be honest - a driving force is ego.    High level translation:   "I'm so good - everybody loves me - certainly they will all do what I want - and I want more."  Pride goes before a fall.

Ego should be tempered with a sense of reality. First of all, only a minority (and it should be less) are so foolish as to follow someone blindly.   Secondly, we live in a quickly changing world  - what we believe to be true today may certainly change tomorrow. . .and change against the next day.  The folly of ego is that is dictates that it can go against that tide - that personality is the overarching driver versus the issues that people face daily.

The point is - reality is humility.   If we open our minds to realize what is really going on around us - we are able to make better business decisions vs. acting on what our ego believes is true.   To challenge ourselves with the reality of each and every day makes us both stronger. . .and more humble.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"  is available on Amazon Kindle.   

The Barriers We Create. . .

After about 20 years with a loyal clientele, the gym was closing.   Many of the members decided to join another gym that was approximately 2-3 miles away.     One constituent, however, resolutely refused to join the rest because she did not want to drive the extra mileage.  On the final days, this member was disconsolate and in tears over the closing and the loss of relationships.  To be sure, she was perfectly within her right to make the decision not to travel the extra distance to the new gym;  but let's be equally clear that she was restricted by the barrier that she created.

Each of us do this daily.  We decide we won't frequent a specific store ever again, or that we absolutely will not eat a certain kind of food or that we refuse to socialize with a specific person.   We are living within the barriers that we create.

Certainly there is a full range of barriers.   Some of the barriers  we create are designed to keep us safe, others are designed to keep us healthy. . .but on the other side of the spectrum, we may be holding ourselves back from that which we truly want to do because we've created walls that disable us from achieving that which we really want.

 "What is it that I really want to do?"  We should ask ourselves this question often.

"Have I created barriers that disable me from doing that which I really want do to?"    That is the follow-up question, that if answered with introspection, honesty and courage will provide us with enabling answers.

Of the forces in life that hold us back, there are many that are beyond our control.   Many, however, are either owned by us or can be owned by us (we cannot change what we do not own).   To live a fulfilled life, we need to sweep away those barriers which do not serve us.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.