True confession - what I write about, what I encourage leaders to do - is not informed by some rarified thought that I live the perfect life. Instead, my beliefs are informed by my mistakes.
And let me tell you. . .the mistakes are legion. Laughable bloopers, potentially career-ending spectaculars and omissions that disabled the potential connections with significant opportunities.
Like many, I was raised in a culture in which the pinnacle of personal behavior was named "perfection". . .so it was a major personal milestone (and a huge relief) when several years ago I came to the conclusion, "I don't have to right" but instead I need to take a path that gets my team as close as possible to the right answer.
The gifts of not having to be right. . .not having to be perfect. . .are many.
First and foremost, we can forgive ourselves and own the responsibility for the mistakes we make. Only if we do that can others truly forgive us (and we can forgive others), and that is one of the strongest bonds that teams can have.
Not having to be perfect allows a broader range of exploration of life's possibilities and solutions. Instead of re-treading a narrow path that we believe (with mistaken certainty) will always lead to the perfect solution; the reality of imperfections gives us a broader spectrum of options.
We can drop the pretense. No one is perfect - but many pretend to be. That pretension is energy-consuming and serves no purpose. As opposed to always defending ourselves (even when we are wrong) that energy is better channeled into being truly human and building a better team.
Not being perfect (and this is gift of nearly immeasurable proportions) allows room for others. The stress for perfection is often singular; the focus is on one (usually ourselves) and excludes others. If we are always right, unfortunately, the rest of team will most often be wrong. But if we relax, if we breathe, and embrace the reality of imperfections, the world of true teamwork opens up for us. Succinctly, it is the antithesis of narcissism - and that is a good thing.
Yes, we should always strive to be better. . to be better leaders and to build better teams. The thought of being perfect doesn't get us there, but instead, it is the growth and learning from the mistakes we make that allows us, our teams and our organizations to grow.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle for e-readers, PCs and tablets,
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
A Little Known Secret of Leadership Success
The only reason the following is a "secret" of leadership success is because it is hardly ever mentioned as a success factor. We talk about communication, collaboration, team building, charisma, but we hardly ever talk about. . .
Consistency.
One of the distinctions of a boss I once had was the gentleman's almost ridiculous ability to always be consistent.
There was never an office pool on whether he would do something one way or the other. . .because he always did things the exact same way. So predictable was he that after working with him a short while. . .I could virtually tell you his response during any given time of the day.
While this may sound boring, actually working on his team was anything but tedious because we accomplished so much. Before I go further, I will hasten to add that his consistency was firmly rooted in his values and business philosophy. In other words, there were reasons that drove his decision making.
So, as a leader, here's what consistency buys you. . .
Your team will love working for you. . .team members like coming to a workplace in which they know what to expect. There is so much uncertainty in the world that to be able to work in a stable environment is very refreshing indeed.
Certainty breeds strong delegation and authority. I have seen teams of hundreds stymied by inaction because they don't know what to do. . .because they don't know what their boss wants them to do. When you work for a boss that is predictable. . .the team knows very well, by practical experience, what the boss wants and they know how to execute to that.
When responding to the uncertainty of the world around us. . .and there will always be emergencies, new competitive circumstances and internal disruptions. . .having the foundation of the predictability of the leader allows the team to move with speed and confidence to address the challenges at hand.
Speaking of the world around us. . .a leader's consistent influence goes beyond the immediate team and communicates itself to the larger organization. Everyone within our organization was aware of our leader's consistency. . .and much like his immediate team. . .they knew the answer they would be delivered before the question was asked. This avoided a lot of wasted time and energy.
Yes, on one dimension predictability is not exciting. . .but in another, it is one of the greatest gifts a leader can give a team.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs from Amazon Kindle.
Consistency.
One of the distinctions of a boss I once had was the gentleman's almost ridiculous ability to always be consistent.
There was never an office pool on whether he would do something one way or the other. . .because he always did things the exact same way. So predictable was he that after working with him a short while. . .I could virtually tell you his response during any given time of the day.
While this may sound boring, actually working on his team was anything but tedious because we accomplished so much. Before I go further, I will hasten to add that his consistency was firmly rooted in his values and business philosophy. In other words, there were reasons that drove his decision making.
So, as a leader, here's what consistency buys you. . .
Your team will love working for you. . .team members like coming to a workplace in which they know what to expect. There is so much uncertainty in the world that to be able to work in a stable environment is very refreshing indeed.
Certainty breeds strong delegation and authority. I have seen teams of hundreds stymied by inaction because they don't know what to do. . .because they don't know what their boss wants them to do. When you work for a boss that is predictable. . .the team knows very well, by practical experience, what the boss wants and they know how to execute to that.
When responding to the uncertainty of the world around us. . .and there will always be emergencies, new competitive circumstances and internal disruptions. . .having the foundation of the predictability of the leader allows the team to move with speed and confidence to address the challenges at hand.
Speaking of the world around us. . .a leader's consistent influence goes beyond the immediate team and communicates itself to the larger organization. Everyone within our organization was aware of our leader's consistency. . .and much like his immediate team. . .they knew the answer they would be delivered before the question was asked. This avoided a lot of wasted time and energy.
Yes, on one dimension predictability is not exciting. . .but in another, it is one of the greatest gifts a leader can give a team.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs from Amazon Kindle.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
What Do They Need to Hear vs. What Do I Want to Say?
Often we become so obsessed with what we want to say. . .that we completely overlook what the audience is able to hear.
And just to nip this in the bud. . .I'm not suggesting for minute that just because no one wants to hear bad news that we should fail to deliver it.
Whether it be bad news or good news, however, our messages will go so much further if we stop for just a minute and think about what our audience is able to hear. Here are a few examples from real-life experience.
When thinking about the right time consider these elements:
When thinking about how they will hear your message, consider:
One of the keys to making your leadership life better is this: concentrate far less on what you want to say. . .focus far more on the best time and way to say it so that it is readily received by your audience.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.
And just to nip this in the bud. . .I'm not suggesting for minute that just because no one wants to hear bad news that we should fail to deliver it.
Whether it be bad news or good news, however, our messages will go so much further if we stop for just a minute and think about what our audience is able to hear. Here are a few examples from real-life experience.
- CEO or CFO will launch into a complicated explanation of annual results that truly would require a degree in accounting to fully grasp. The positive impact is lost on the audience because they aren't trained to hear it. . .what they need to hear is a much more simple message. "Folks, due to your great efforts we increased sales 7% over last year and beat our goal by 4%. Great job."
- Boss is so pissed about something that he/she finds the nearest party and just explodes. First of all, it may not even be the right party and there is no foresight as to how and when to deliver a much more constructive message.
- There is a "going away" party for hundreds of people who have been laid off - but first (oh yes, this really happened) the president "updates" all attendees on the quarterly results. Do you think they cared?
- Boss wants to assign Marie a complicated project. . .and because boss wants to cross it off his/her list, decides to call Marie in right now. . .despite the fact that Marie is still knee-deep in the last big project. Do we think Marie can even do a good job of assimilating the information?
When thinking about the right time consider these elements:
- What else is going on for you?
- What else is going on for your team?
- Is the recipient preoccupied with something else (deadline, upcoming vacation, stress in the workplace or home) so that they can't hear your message right now?
- Given the current status, can the recipient focus on your message?
When thinking about how they will hear your message, consider:
- Do they talk your technical language - will they understand your use of acronyms and language short-cuts?
- What do they think about you in general? Are you trusted? Do they believe you will look out for them or that you will look out only for your own good?
- Does the message even have relevance for them? Do they have a relationship with the subject matter or is it just clutter that they don't care about? In other words - what is in it for them?
One of the keys to making your leadership life better is this: concentrate far less on what you want to say. . .focus far more on the best time and way to say it so that it is readily received by your audience.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
The Importance of the Conversation
A monologue similar to this happens thousands of times a day. A leader, after having a conversation with a team member and said team member is out of earshot will say something akin to: "Well, that 30 minutes of my life is gone forever. . now I can get back to doing my job."
Truth is. . .that leader, by spending 30 minutes in conversation with a team member was doing their job. Truth is. . .that the leader both did something very good (spent time with a team member) and didn't recognize the true value of what they had done ("now I can get back to doing my job").
Truth is. . .spending time in conversation with our team members is one of the greatest expenditures of time we can make as leaders. It is both an investment in our team's future as well as an investment in our own careers.
Spending time with team members builds bonds. The familiarity that develops through conversation allows us to activate with the team more effectively when push comes to shove - because we know more about the team member and they know more about us.
Listening is one of the best ways that we can communicate to our team that they really are important, not only to the business, but to us as individuals.
When you spend time with team members. . .really, truly listen for things you can learn. . .both about the individuals and about the business. Contemplate the conversation afterward: "What did I really hear? What did I really learn?" Then think about what you can accomplish with that information.
Since conversations are two way streets, it is also an opportunity for you to communicate to team members what is important to you. . .both as an individual and as a professional.
A waste of time? Nope. Spending time your team members is doing your job. . .and doing your job really well.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.
Truth is. . .that leader, by spending 30 minutes in conversation with a team member was doing their job. Truth is. . .that the leader both did something very good (spent time with a team member) and didn't recognize the true value of what they had done ("now I can get back to doing my job").
Truth is. . .spending time in conversation with our team members is one of the greatest expenditures of time we can make as leaders. It is both an investment in our team's future as well as an investment in our own careers.
Spending time with team members builds bonds. The familiarity that develops through conversation allows us to activate with the team more effectively when push comes to shove - because we know more about the team member and they know more about us.
Listening is one of the best ways that we can communicate to our team that they really are important, not only to the business, but to us as individuals.
When you spend time with team members. . .really, truly listen for things you can learn. . .both about the individuals and about the business. Contemplate the conversation afterward: "What did I really hear? What did I really learn?" Then think about what you can accomplish with that information.
Since conversations are two way streets, it is also an opportunity for you to communicate to team members what is important to you. . .both as an individual and as a professional.
A waste of time? Nope. Spending time your team members is doing your job. . .and doing your job really well.
Like it? Share it!
My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, tablets and PCs on Amazon Kindle.
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