True confession - what I write about, what I encourage leaders to do - is not informed by some rarified thought that I live the perfect life. Instead, my beliefs are informed by my mistakes.
And let me tell you. . .the mistakes are legion. Laughable bloopers, potentially career-ending spectaculars and omissions that disabled the potential connections with significant opportunities.
Like many, I was raised in a culture in which the pinnacle of personal behavior was named "perfection". . .so it was a major personal milestone (and a huge relief) when several years ago I came to the conclusion, "I don't have to right" but instead I need to take a path that gets my team as close as possible to the right answer.
The gifts of not having to be right. . .not having to be perfect. . .are many.
First and foremost, we can forgive ourselves and own the responsibility for the mistakes we make. Only if we do that can others truly forgive us (and we can forgive others), and that is one of the strongest bonds that teams can have.
Not having to be perfect allows a broader range of exploration of life's possibilities and solutions. Instead of re-treading a narrow path that we believe (with mistaken certainty) will always lead to the perfect solution; the reality of imperfections gives us a broader spectrum of options.
We can drop the pretense. No one is perfect - but many pretend to be. That pretension is energy-consuming and serves no purpose. As opposed to always defending ourselves (even when we are wrong) that energy is better channeled into being truly human and building a better team.
Not being perfect (and this is gift of nearly immeasurable proportions) allows room for others. The stress for perfection is often singular; the focus is on one (usually ourselves) and excludes others. If we are always right, unfortunately, the rest of team will most often be wrong. But if we relax, if we breathe, and embrace the reality of imperfections, the world of true teamwork opens up for us. Succinctly, it is the antithesis of narcissism - and that is a good thing.
Yes, we should always strive to be better. . to be better leaders and to build better teams. The thought of being perfect doesn't get us there, but instead, it is the growth and learning from the mistakes we make that allows us, our teams and our organizations to grow.
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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle for e-readers, PCs and tablets,
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