Selflessness = Great Leadership

Great leadership is  selflessness.

It is more than the ability to "get over one's self;" it is the power to prioritize others.

Great leaders do not always have to be right;   they regard the inclusion of diverse opinions as a means to get to an answer better than their own.    Great leaders do not bask in their own praise; instead, they consistently raise others up.   Great leaders do not over-protect themselves;   they are very protective of those they get the opportunity to work with.

The result of this:   great work and great results.

The result can also be this:   great leaders can also burn out.   As with everything in life in which we need to make discerning decisions, we need to understand the distinction between selflessness and not taking care of one's self.

Great leaders who are selfless can easily over-index in worry, or take on everyone's burden or try to do all of the work themselves.   The result is that they diminish their effectiveness to the entire team and they do themselves a disservice.

Taking care of one's self - understanding one's limits - knowing that one person cannot solve the world's ills - are all antidotes to "overdoing it" and consequently burning out.

To understand that we are not always going to have the correct answer, that we cannot make everything right (no matter how much we want to), that while we do our best for each individual that we cannot save everyone - this is the reality that goes with selflessness.

To be really good - we need to take care of ourselves.   That means we are then enabled to take of our teams - selflessly  - and that's really great.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Use(d)less Gifts

While not unique in this trait, my mother was still notorious in this trait.   She would be given a gift - or even buy something nice for herself - and then put it away - perhaps never to be seen again.  When the time came to clean out her estate,   there were new items that were never used stuffed into dresser drawers, filing cabinets, storage boxes and just laying in stacks under the bed.  Never used and thus, use(d)less.

These items were given to her for her enjoyment and fulfillment.  Perhaps in some ways these items, if used, could have expanded her horizons and outlook on life.  Resolutely, however, she opted to "save" them - so the items stayed stashed away and she remained in her seemingly comfortable status quo.

Why?  Maybe she was afraid of scarcity, that if she used it now she wouldn't have anything left for later.    Maybe there was the fear that she really wasn't good enough to receive and utilize.   Maybe she thought others would think her ostentatious.    Perhaps she thought that if used it would be ruined.

So what about the gifts that are given to us?   The position we occupy.  The ability to organize.  The chance to speak.  The opportunity to collaborate.   The challenge to step up.  The privilege to be part of a team.   Do we use these, and other such gifts that we are given. . .or do we quietly put them away. . .out of fear.   What will people think of me?   Am I up to the challenge?    I'm really not good enough.  What if this is my one and only chance and I blow it?

Are we not using the gifts we've been given out of fear?  And if so - what fulfillment are we missing?

Gifts are resources - resources are meant to be used.  Resources are meant to make our professional and personal lives fuller and expand our horizons.

Let's use the gifts we've been given.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

What You are Told (May Not be True)

This week I once again experienced this truism; what appears to be true, or what you may be told is true, may not be true at all.

I was informed by a co-worker that my car was leaking oil in the parking garage.   Obviously, not a good thing.   I went to inspect.  Well, sure enough. . .next to the front of my car was a puddle of brackish looking liquid.   Hmmm.       I got down on my knees and looked under the car.   Well, that's interesting. . .there didn't seem to be a drip line from anywhere near the engine;   there was one, however, near the mid-rear of the car.   I got up, went to the brackish brown puddle and put two fingers in it.     It was watery. . .didn't feel like a petroleum based product at all.    I smelled it.   Oh, okay. . .

You see, first thing that morning I picked up a two and a half gallon thermos of coffee for a meeting.   I placed it rather haphazardly in the back of my car. . .and apparently the thermos wasn't meant to be placed haphazardly, so. . .

My car was leaking caffeine.    

What appeared to be true, and what would be cause for alarm. . .wasn't true at all and ended up being (well, just a little bit) funny.

I have found this to be a reassurance in life. . .that often what appears to be the case, upon close inspection, is not the case at all.    How often do we jump to conclusions about what caused an end result?   How often do we worry ourselves over what has been purportedly seen and said?     What anxiety is caused because we really don't know the truth?

Truth is a great mediator and often we only find the truth through inquiry.    Ask questions.  Inspect.   Ponder why. . .and then ponder some more.   Research.   Discuss with others.  Test. 

Despite what we might think, the truth is indeed a great friend.    Stop for a few minutes to find out the true story.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

The Velcro Conversation

Velcro is a tremendously effective and easy fastening tool. . .as long as it has something to stick to.  Simply put, one side of Velcro is the "hook" whereas the other side is a "loop" into which the hook can engage.  To truly be effective you need both components.

Often when contemplating a conversation, we are using just one side of the Velcro.    We prepare, or perhaps even get anxious over, what we are going to say.    We  have points we wish to deliver. . . things that need to be said. . .something we need to get off our chest.    And that is only one side of the Velcro.   If you want your conversation to stick, you truly need the other side of the Velcro - and that other side of the conversation is your ability to listen.

Equally important, or perhaps more important than talking, is the ability to listen.  When preparing for a conversation, do we prepare ourselves to listen?

We should plan to hear both the expected and the unexpected. . .what we will like and perhaps not like so much.  We need to be open and alert and to some degree, vulnerable.   But when you think about it - that's a pretty exciting prospect.

We also need to be prepared to facilitate listening.    Let's face it, often peer to peer conversations can be awkward. . .perhaps even more awkward is the  conversation between a leader and a team member.    It's an uneven playing field and the onus to facilitate listening falls to the leader.  So, how is that done?  

When preparing to speak, we often have mental or literal bullet points.   Likewise, when preparing to listen, we should have mental or literal questions.    Think of questions that  give you knowledge of the team member and the workplace.   From the team member's point of view, what questions will truly engage them and give them the ability to tell you the important information you need to know?

Conversations should be both sides - both the talking and listening.   It's what makes a conversation, and a business relationship, stick together.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.