How to Change People's Minds

Based on what is happening in popular culture, one might come to the conclusion that the most efficacious way to change people's minds is just to yell louder than they do. . .or perhaps throw out a 5th grade insult. . .or bully them on social media.

Consider, however, the results.   Do we really see any of these tactics change minds. . .or hearts?

Here's the story (thank you NBC news).  Qasim Rashid, a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia received (in his words) "deeply hurtful anti-Muslim" tweets.   These included a meme that falsely claimed that Islam promotes violent acts of rapes and beheadings.

 Rashid did some research on the author of the tweets, Oscar Dillon;  he found that Dillon had a GoFundMe campaign because Dillon's retirement savings were depleted.   Due to the rising costs of medical care, Dillon and his wife are essentially out of money by the 23rd of each month.

Current popular culture would dictate that Rashid would minimally ignore this, or maximally tweet back something akin to "Karma's a bitch, ain't it?"

But he didn't   Instead he donated $55 to Dillon's GoFundMe campaign explaining that "My faith instead teaches me to serve all humanity."   Some of the subsequent donations to the campaign are labeled "Inspired by Qasim Rashid."

Rashid said he received a "thoughtful" and "compassionate" apology from Dillon, accompanied by an invitation to visit him.   Upon completion of the visit, Rashid posted a tweet of Dillon and himself, "Today I met my new friend Oz."

Dillon, for his part, said his meeting with Rashid was "astounding" and "mind-boggling."  Dillon said that he previously had a hatred toward "radical Islam" since he and his loved ones were in danger on 9/11;  Rashid's actions have Dillon re-thinking this hatred.

The bridge that connected two sides was simply built;  the foundation was a faith in "serving all of humanity."    The superstructure was humility and the willingness to connect.

Rashid and Dillon are better individuals.   Their community is a little bit of a better place.   Our country is little bit better.

Because one individual understood, and acted upon, what it really takes to change people's minds.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.

Love Always Wins, But. . .

The sticker on the car proclaims "Love always wins. . ." and I instinctively found myself in agreement.  With a caveat. . .

And inherently I believe that good comes out on top. . .with a caveat.

Let's acknowledge this.   The idea that "love always wins" or that "good comes out on top" isn't always to our timeline (which usually means right now) or even necessarily to our specifications (and our wishes can be extremely precise).

What if our passions aren't fulfilled right now?  Are we okay?  Can we wait?

What if life doesn't unfold exactly the way we want?   What are our alternatives?   Are we open to the options?

Do disappointments stop the show?   Or do we keep going?   Do we re-calibrate?

Do we ask ourselves how we move forward and then allow ourselves to move on?

What is our philosophy of life?   That anything beyond what we imagine is designed to disadvantage us?   That we can only hope and pray for good things to happen, but essentially are powerless to make these things happen for ourselves?

Can we believe that by its very design life is a series of events, some of which will bring us joy, some of which will disappoint us.  Can we navigate through this?

Are we willing to change our definitions or even our aspirations so that our souls are nurtured?

Love always wins. . .our passions can be fulfilled, but. . .

Good and life and love don't always work according to our plans.

This often requires adjustment.

It most certainly requires patience.

And a persistent belief that it is all worth the journey.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.