To get a positive resolution to almost any challenge - we need interaction. The old model of "I'm just going to shout directions and you're just going to do what I say" is flawed and if successful, is only successful for a few minutes.
Whether peer to peer or leader to team member, sometimes it is difficult to get a conversation going; it is often more difficult to get true engagement. The good news here is that it is fairly easy to change these dynamics: ask questions.
When faced with a challenge, our minds often run the tape of "This is what I need to say." "This is what I need to get off of my chest." "I need to set things straight." All of these are statements that seldom will elicit a response that is constructive. And let's think about a further disservice: these are assumptive statements that may not be correct, putting us in a compromised territory.
We learn nothing from assumptive statements and assumptive statements do not build a relationship. And, yes, the relationship is pretty much everything.
Change the dynamics. Ask questions instead.
Questions implicitly require a response; they are an invitation to engage. As opposed to a directive which practically requires no response - a question invites a conversation. It breaks down that initial, awkward wall of unresponsiveness.
Further, a question puts the conversation on equal footing because it now becomes an exchange: an explanation, an opinion, a counter opinion or even perhaps another question. It also avoids the assumptive trap that doesn't serve either party well; it allows, instead, for learning and growing.
If you are in the business of building relationships - start with questions.
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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.
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