Losing the Possessive

Once  I worked with a manager who had no shortage of ego (or, conversely, had a tremendous shortage of ego and was constantly trying to compensate).   In either case, the conversation was always "I," as in "Look at what I did."   "Look at MY award."   "I know all of this stuff and I'M going to condescendingly communicate it to you."

But wait. . .there's more. . .I haven't even communicated what was, at least to me, the most grating.  To the excess, it was always "I'll have MY team do it."  "MY people will know what to do." "MY manager can solve that."  Whenever the conversation was about this individual's team, the individual insisted on using the possessive.   To the point that I just wanted to scream, somewhat Old Testament like. . .

"For the love of God, let MY people go."

Here's what's wrong with the possessive.   The manager is inserting themselves, whether warranted or not (and usually it's not) into the conversation.   The team  doesn't belong to the individual.  The use of "my" (in excess) is often patronizing. . .and in that vein, then degrading.

Teams do not belong to the manager.  (The manager does, however, have a strong responsibility to take care of  and support their team).    Teams are not part of a manager's empire or cache.   Teams are part of the enterprise.

So, if we want to use semantics that honor that, how about:

"The people I have the privilege of working with. . ."

"The director on our team who is most capable of helping you is. . ."

"Let me ask (insert individual's name here) since that is their area of expertise."

See how that all sounds?   It's not patronizing. . .it is respectful and builds confidence. . .which are two of the two traits that a leader should share with a team.

Yes, it may be a fine or "picky" point. . .but the use of the possessive in referring to a team does nothing for the team and ultimate does nothing for the speaker.    To be a little more careful can in fact build up both the team and that team's leader.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available for e-readers, PCs and tablets on Amazon Kindle.