Let "My People" Go

Years ago, I was familiar with a leader who was overly fond of the possessive.   Consistently, the individual referred to "my projects,"  "my idea,"  "my work" and "my people."  The latter extended to the point that, akin to Moses, I just wanted to scream, "Let 'my people' go."

Use of the possessive is not uncommon for leaders, but it isn't always wise.  Think for a moment about the messages that are communicated with the overuse of  "my."

• It communicates sole ownership, such as, "that's MY tricycle."  The reality is that no leader has sole ownership of a project or work and certainly does not own the people with whom the leader has the privilege of working.  The beauty of work should be that many people own projects and work alongside each other to accomplish common goals.    Furthermore, the use of "my" in referring to team members can have kind of a creepy connotation of servitude.   We should be very clear that team members are essentially free agents who exchange their talents and services to deliver a predetermined product;   they are not beholden to anyone.
• The use of the possessive can be very exclusionary.    Team members should know that they are responsible not only to their leader, but also to each other, the end product and the customer.  The use of "my"  rather destroys all of these relationships, because it infers that team members have responsibility to only one person.
• Utilizing "my" excessively creates all sorts of  figurative arrows that point directly to the speaker.   Whether done either intentionally or unintentionally, the leader should not create focus around their own person, but instead around the team and what the team can create.

Not out of sheer coincidence, the leader who overuses "my" also tends to overuse these words:   "I," "me" and "myself."  Beyond the fact that someone who talks about themselves all the time isn't all that interesting, they are failing to engage the workforce.

At it's base, I believe that strong leadership is a self-less act that enriches those that the leader has the privilege of working with.  Let the possessive "go," and instead, accentuate the inclusive.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" available on Kindle for e-readers, IPads, PCs and Macs.