Over years, I have been witness to hundreds of thousands of words exchanged between leaders and their teams. Through this experience, I have been able to filter a few unfortunately climactic words and phrases that I would hope never to hear again. (Disclaimer, I may or may not have used one or two of these myself. . .and if I did, I regretted it). Herewith, then, are words for leaders to eschew.
"It's not my job to liked." The use of this phrase is a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you use it, you truly will not be liked. If you don't care to be liked, you are wasting a valuable resource. If you don't like your boss, don't you wish you did? If you work for a boss you like, aren't you likely to give more? Leaders should not confuse the fact that while, yes, they often have to deliver news that people may not like; they can still deliver that news with an integrity and personality that the workforce will respect.
"Finagle." To obtain something through devious or dishonest means. Example: "Try to finagle your way out of that." Don't go there. First of all, it's not a constructive way to do business. Secondly, if your team thinks that finagling is part of your tool chest, they will quickly adopt that tool to finagle something by you.
"Act first and ask for forgiveness later." There are so many dimensions why this is wrong it kind of boggles my mind. The use of this phrase insinuates that the leader is either ignorant of what the corporation wants or doesn't care. It leads the team into uncertain territory - and teams don't care for uncertainty (remember, they want leadership). Then there's the golden rule - if the team believes in this platitude, the next thing you'll know they will have done something without consulting you figuring they can always ask for your forgiveness.
"If you don't like it, you can just leave." Really? This may seem like an expedient way to end a disagreement and establish your authority - actually, it does the opposite on both counts. If there is a team member you believe would be better off in another assignment, you owe it to both that individual and the remainder of the team to have a quiet, candid discussion.
"They're all just children." I can't begin to tell you how often I have heard leaders refer to their teams this way. It's very likely that if the team is acting like children, they are being managed as if they were children.
"It's just easier to do it myself." The perverse magic of this phrase is that if you use it often enough, you will truly end up doing most everything by yourself.
"I'm always right." Should I hear this phrase, I can say with certainty that the speaker is wrong about at least one thing
If you have a phrase or word or two to eschew, leave a comment and I'll share it in a future blog.
Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders," available for e-readers, IPads, IPhones, tablets and PC's on Kindle.
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