Winning by Letting It Go

Lessons from the week's news. . .

I'm in awe of the Shakespearean poetry of the whole Khizr Khan/Donald Trump thing - seriously, this whole incident will someday be the inspiration for a Tony-award winning drama.   Cliff notes:    at the Democratic National Convention Khan makes a speech that is critical of Trump. . .and in the style that is all-too-familiar by now. . .Trump rebuts. . .and rebuts. . .and rebuts.   By doing so, he keeps the whole story alive in the press and lays his own land-mines.   Latest poll shows that nearly 7 out of 10 Americans disagree with him on this issue.  His overall poll numbers are going down and he is facing greater discontent within his own party.  He.  Could.  Not.  Let.  It.   Go.   

Yet, many times I have seen this same mistake (and I've done it, too) at work.   Someone raises an issue. . .or there is a perceived slight. . .or the snarky remark. . .and in the sake of some mistaken thought that this is how we will win at this - We.  Can.  Not.  Let.  It.  Go.

Meanwhile, we dig ourselves a hole by paying too much attention to "this thing"  as opposed to focusing on the business at hand.     And by paying too much attention to it. . .we magnify the very usse that we wish would go away.

What's better?    Rather than re-act with a series of counter-punches - strategize.    If what has been brought up is a legitimate issue - address it and solve the problem - you win!    If what has been brought up is an opinion that is counter to yours - state your opinion once (substantiated with facts) and move on - you will probably win!     If it was snarky and unwarranted - ignore it and focus on making business happen - you win!  If truly egregious - react as positively as possible by taking counsel with your boss and HR - you will win!

So many times we feel we need to respond and continue on in bloody battle until one person. . .wounded and scarred. . .finally emerges as the victor.   While we may tell ourselves that's how we win - truly no one wins in that scenario.

Be the smart person.   Address it or ignore it and move on already.  Let.  It.  Go.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.