Breaking the Mold

It goes like this.    The person you interact with knows you well.     They (consciously or not) expect a certain reaction from you.    Meanwhile, you also know the person well - you can pretty much predict that they will do this certain thing (consciously or not) to get the prescribed reaction from you.   Both parties deliver. . .and you, my friends, are stuck in a rut.

How many times have you said something like, "And then she said to me. . .and she knows that I just hate it when she says these things. . .so she just does it to get a reaction from me."  Okay. . .so what happens if you don't react in the manner to which both  of you have become accustomed?   If you used to get all tense or riled up - what if you didn't?    If you used to be all cynical - what if you weren't?  What if you changed the dynamics?   What if you broke the mold?

We are very predictable creatures;   just ask anyone who's been in a relationship for a period of time.   In many respects that predictability and consistency is great.    It's not so great, however, if it perpetrates a situation that is unproductive and unsatisfying.

For instance, there have been certain meetings that I dreaded going to. . .and because I dreaded going to them I was miserable and unsatisfied.    I found that if I changed my dynamic, if I broke that unsatisfactory mold, all of a sudden that meeting became more tolerable. . .or, heck, even enjoyable.

Same thing about that team member who really "gets your goat."   What happens if you change the way you interact?   What if you hold and present your power differently?   What if you did what the opposing party didn't expect?    Life could be better for both of you.   Minimally, the change in dynamics would be refreshing and I'm guessing it would be far more productive.

We fall victim to our own patterns of how we anticipate life, how we interact with others and how others react to us.  Often the perpetrator of that pattern is us. . .and we have the power to change that reaction.

So promise yourself that at least one time this week - you will break that mold - for the better.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.