The Duellists

At the age of approximately 12, I was wedged between my mother and another formidable force, let's call her Agnes Joy, in the Sunday morning church service.     The pipe organ swelled into the intro of one of those anthem hymns, not quite "Onward Christian Soldiers" but, you get the idea.   It started in the first verse, my Mother, a soprano, started singing more loudly than Agnes Joy.  Not to be outdone,  Agnes Joy, another soprano, escalated her volume so that she was just a little bit louder than my mother. 

There it was - the gauntlet was thrown down.   Each diva, note by note, started singing more loudly than the other.    I caught them giving each other the side-eye, accompanied by superior smirks that indicated that they were out to prove themselves better than their competition.

By the time they swung into the third verse I swear you could hear both of them gasping for air.  The veins on their necks were starting to bulge.   It wasn't the hymn that mattered to them.  It wasn't the remainder of the congregation.   All that mattered was the imagined win if one was louder than the other.  They were just two divas duking it for the privilege of being heard.

Sound familiar?   I've seen this in the workplace - have you?    Two people get in a competition or a contretemps - and it starts escalating.    Suddenly, the rest of the workplace doesn't matter any longer.   The work doesn't matter any more.   Any hint that their actions may be negatively influencing their peers and team members vanishes.   It's all about the duel.

And that is really too bad.   Success means that team members are focused on the work and on each other.   Internal competition can quickly slide from "Isn't this a fun game we're playing?" to "You are my most mortal enemy and I need to destroy you."   Obviously, the latter isn't good for anyone save for perhaps the individuals who are truly the competition;   those external forces that threaten the health of your enterprise.

Beware the internal Duellists;   they do absolutely nothing positive for anybody (including themselves - even though they may not recognize this).  Internal harmony, recognition of the common good and respect for all -  that's what wins the day.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.