Who is That Person You are Talking With?

Many times during the workday we find ourselves in conversations with bosses, peers and team members we support as leaders.     Sometimes those conversations are superficial, other times the conversations mine deeper territory.    We see and interpret that which is directly in front of us, that which immediately presents itself.   There is, however, much more.   It is always important to remember that we don't what we don't know.

That person you are talking with:   how do they really feel about their work?    How does their job intersect with the remainder of their life?   How do those factors influence their conversation with you?

That person you are talking with may have had the worst morning on record:  kids were late to school, traffic was a nightmare, a terse discussion with their significant other.   Often you don't know these things - but, yes, these things impact the conversation.

You often don't know much about the background of the person you are talking with.   What was their childhood like?    What is their impression of organizational structure and how do they react to it?     How did they learn to interact with their own skill set:   are they honestly proud of it or do they feel as if it could never be enough?

Culturally, what kind of conversation is this person equipped to have?    Does a robust discussion in which shared opinions, sometimes adverse, a welcoming or threatening event?

What nourishes this person?   What builds them?    What makes them feel good and also challenges them?

We don't know what we don't know.

It is always good to remember this when in conversation.   But it is also a reminder (without invading privacy and common sense) to know the people we have the privilege of working with.   The more we know (within reason) the more we can support, nurture, encourage and have conversations that genuinely build working relationships.

That person you are talking with is an amalgamation of years of cultural and maturation process.  To be truly supportive, we understand that and work with that.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"   is available on Amazon Kindle.