Effective Meetings? Or Wallowings?

You want to have a good, productive meeting?  Stop wallowing.

Wallowing, in this instance, is the insistence in not only getting into the ugly parts of the business. . . but staying there for three lifetimes with no plan, or evident desire, to get out of the mud.   Wallowing can take on several types of personalities:

The Mud-Slinging Contest.   Someone, in addressing a business challenge, says something just. . .let's say. . . slightly snarky.  Participant on receiving end of the mini-bomb decides that "since you went there"  that the return verbal volley deservedly should be just a little bit more direct and twice as nasty.   At that point, the gloves are off and away everyone goes, picking sides like an old western  bar fight.     Might be entertaining. . .but more likely is damned uncomfortable and only accomplishes the dual feat of not addressing the core issue and alienating the team for days. . if not weeks to come.

Then there's the popular "oh-woe-is-us" type of wallowing.      You can recognize this variety by the copious hand-wringing and the total victimization.   No one has the time to have true ownership of the issue because they are way too busy being martyrs. There is no faith, no hope. . .no strategy and perhaps only the whisper of tactics, if only to assure one's place in martyrdom ("well. . .we tried").

Or, how about - "let's get lost in the details?"   You've seen it - someone pulls out a spreadsheet and magically all participants are  transported into cell d3 and  the seeming relationship to cell ag41.  When people say "the devil is in the details" they are so right.  People often use the details to escape the hard decisions that need to be made.

Here's what you can do:

Simply use your voice to take people back to the main points.   It can be very direct: "Guys, gals - we need to focus on the main issue at hand."    It can be very diplomatic: "You know, I find that interesting as well. . .and maybe it deserves its own meeting. . . but let's get back to the main point that Janine brought up."    It can be comforting: "I know these are all issues of concern - but we need to take care of our business and our associates and we can only do that if we address the issue at hand."

Here's what else you can do:

Refuse to take part in the wallowing.  Don't add to the mud.   Instead, present clarity and focus.  The team will then have productive meetings, you will have earned more respect and ultimately you will have a better workforce.

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My book, "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders"   is available on Amazon Kindle for e-readers, tablets and PCs.