The Priority of Likability

"Like" can be perceived as one of those not-so-powerful words.   It is similar to "pretty" and "nice."  Positive, but not passionate.  Truth is, it represents an extremely powerful and effective emotion.

The recent presidential election in the United States demonstrated the power of "like."   Fair or not, the great majority of the populace said they did not "like" either candidate;   chaos ensued.  Imagine, if you will, what a different election it would have been if one or both candidates had been liked.

A leader's creed of "It's not my job to be liked" demonstrates a high degree of confusion between being liked and being able to make tough decisions.     It is a leader's job to be both liked and to be able to make tough decisions.   Certainly not every decision a leader makes will be liked; simultaneous, the leader can still be likable.

Even the tough decisions can be more acceptable to the team if the leader is likable.   Likable leaders often consult with the team, are known for truly caring for their team and have a reputation for rational, fair decisions.

Why is it so important to be liked?   Simply. . .do unto others. . .   Don't you tend to frequent retailers that have team members you really like?    Isn't likability a major decision point in choosing a doctor or dentist?  Don't you work better when you have a capable boss you really like. . .and if you have a boss you don't like, don't you wish you had someone you really could like?

Recently (in fact just last week, when I was writing about "moving on") I made the connection between likability and being compelling - these two things are nearly the same.   One seldom "wins"  when one isn't compelling or likable.   Granted, there are more elements to winning that are also important:  ethical, fair, smart, etc.    But being likable is really the rocket fuel that enables ethical, fair, smart people to get their points across and to be truly successful.

"Like" is, indeed, a very powerful word.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.