Catfights! Scandal! Drama!

Among the few certainties of life is this;   if on any of the Real Housewives offerings one of the personalities says something like, "All I want is just a chance for everyone to get together for a nice evening without any drama," this wish will quickly be followed by an emotional blow-out that roughly equals all of the firepower of WWI times three.

Hopefully, all of us can understand the distinction of the vast chasm that separates reality TV. . .and reality.  I do have concerns, however, that this slice of popular culture may shade, however subtly, how we approach the workplace. . .and our personal lives.

• Devious contestant on competition show confides to the audience that this is, after all, a contest. . .and he or she will do whatever is necessary to win.  Throwing a team-mate under the bus, lying, cheating and rumor-mongering are just a few of the tools these schemers utilize in an attempt to come out on top.
• On reality shows featuring people with a high degree of creative talent, it has become the norm to portray contestants as highly strung individuals who simply cannot get along with their fellow man or woman.  Frequent breakdowns are interspersed with some surprisingly uncreative verbal sniping.
• And here's a teachable moment. . .a scene from one of the Real Housewives franchises in which a cast member, who endlessly touts her business acumen, and accompanying wealth, quite literally spanks an employee  to correct a supposed wrong.

I get it - this is television, after all, and (sometimes) drama makes for great television. . .or minimally, the rating points needed for renewal   When said shows, however, pose as "reality" I get a little concerned that we begin to think that this certain brand of bad behavior is the norm in life outside of TV land

It isn't. . .or at least, it shouldn't be.

First of all, I think we recognize that the very nature of life will bring drama to us:  birth, death, great times, times not-so-great.  To stir up conflict  just seems like a redundancy and a poor use of time.

Here's a reality (not reality TV) primer for leaders.

If you, or a team member, seemingly lives to create conflict  - it just needs to stop.   There is a wide gulf of disinctions between a strong difference of opinion and conflict.   The former can be utilized positively to arrive at creative solutions that gives the team a competitive edge while the latter can tear a workplace apart.

Stop already with the notion that high performers get the starring role of being prima donnas with the side benefit of exhibiting behavior that tends toward emotional instability.  Ultimately this behavior is a short-cut to getting one's way without having to engage the team.  Good attitudes and great teamwork always beat out egos and narcissism.

Understand that everyone needs to listen to your HR department about rules, regulations and policies regarding the treatment of human beings with dignity.   These guardrails are there for a purpose; minimally to keep everyone safe and maximally to drive efficiency.

Let's recognize that creating conflict among teams does not serve any useful purpose. . .but to create ways to work together peacefully, and thus seamlessly and efficiently, allows the team to truly win.

Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders," available on Kindle:   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0095KPA6A