Would It Kill Us to Be a Little Nicer?

You could practically hear a collective exhale of relief.     At the most recent, town-hall style presidential debate, a questioner asked both candidates to name something they admired about the other candidate.     Right there, in the middle of full-tilt accusations and counters and name calling and what else. . .common sense had a moment.

So here's a reminder in the middle of the most crazy presidential election I've ever seen. . .in a society that  seemingly thrives on Real Housewives drama. . .in a world in which an extreme, but vocal few view success as outright obliteration of anyone who is at all culturally different from them.

Let's all be a little nicer.

To the very practical side of this.   I recently traveled for business.   Want to see a bunch of grim faces?   Go to an airport.    But, really, why all of the anxiety and what-not?    Lead with a little niceness.   Tell agents you appreciate the expertise with which they board nearly 200 shoving people in a plane in less than twenty minutes.  Let them you know you appreciate the patience they exhibited while handling the screaming, crying customer in front of you.    Thank them when they scan your ticket.   It comes as so unexpected that you can just see their entire day open to a perspective of better things.

Or shopping.    Say something nice to the person behind the counter.    Compliment them on what a great job they did in ringing that massive order.    Tell them how much you appreciate their work every single day.   And mean it.

And let the actions back up the words.   After all, you pay $69/month for a gym membership, so it would be perfectly congruent for you to push your shopping cart to the designated corral as opposed to letting it sit in the middle of the parking lot.  Or, sticking around a micro-second longer to open the door for someone.    Or let someone merge in front of you.

At work:  pull back the shoulders, adjust the strut and smile at people.  Say "good morning" and "how are you" and stick around to hear a response.  Open doors (literally and figuratively) Tell them you appreciate all of the work yesterday/last week/last month/last year.    Tell them you admire their perspective on whatever it was that you were talking about in the hallway yesterday.

Here's my fear, that we are starting to confuse the "entertainment" value of drama (and in this I don't mean that drama of Downtown Abbey but rather the name calling and hair pulling of reality TV) with real life.    That we may think that calling someone the devil on national television is something to be modeled.  That we believe that punching and counter-punching is the way to win in this world.


Don't.   Don't be those people.   Eschew that behavior.

Be nice.    The world, your world, will be a much better place.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.