An Invitation to Disagree

We love it when people agree with us.    We craft conversations so that people will nod their heads up and down even if they don't totally know why they are doing so.   When people agree with us - we win!

Or do we?

What about the voices of caution? What about viewpoints that we haven't seen or can't see?   Heck, what about the voices of dissent?  If we listened, and then re-crafted our proposition - wouldn't we then have an even stronger case?   One that could withstand criticism and could serve teams well for a prolonged period of time?

So, how can we have such conversations and see our idea live to see another day (or generation)?  We know this to be true - often criticism causes the tent to fold and the circus to leave town - a trail of good ideas are left in the sawdust.

Here's how to have that strong conversation that can invite diverse viewpoints that make your effort stronger.

State the case.   Why are you suggesting change?     What is the common cause or common pain?   If solved, what are the benefits?   At the outset - what can you agree upon?

Then, make your suggestion.  Not as if God has just dropped two stone tablets into your cubicle with THE MOST DIVINE idea ever - but with humility.  Your idea is to get the conversation started.  It is a draft to invite input.  It is the napkin sketch of what will eventually be a detailed blueprint.

And be very public with "You know, I don't have to be right about this - but one of the thoughts I've had is. . . ."   "I'd like to hear your ideas, or maybe together we can figure this out."   Essentially, it is an invitation to disagree, with the whole purpose of crafting the strongest possible agreement between you and the team.

Being "right" is highly over-rated. . .and it's a false doctrine.  None of us are  100% right - so we should face that reality so that truly we can move on.  Inviting people, even if they disagree, to strengthen your position through their input is what is going to win the day.

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My book "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" is available on Amazon Kindle.