Bullies in the Workplace. . .and What to Do About Them

Seeing as how the Real Housewives of New York just kicked off - somehow I feel compelled to talk about bullying. . .go figure.

In the decade of selfishness,  the 80's, one of the supposed hallmarks of success was the ability of any individual to get their way, regardless of the number of bodies or heaps of ashes left behind in their wake.

Unfortunately, some people have not evolved from this rather untoward behavior.  Here are some archetypes that should set off alarms. . .and what to do about them.

The Spoiled Little Boy or Girl: 
Their game:  they have somehow weaseled their way into the good graces of some senior leader and then exploit that position of privilege by acting like a spoiled brat with the remainder of the workforce.  (Noted variation:   or they have not bothered to work their way into favor within anyone yet act like spoiled brats anyway.)
Characteristics: pouting, temper tantrums, mood swings exceeding 320 degrees.  Can quickly intimidate an entire room with any of these.
How to beat them at their game:    play your game and ignore theirs.   Do great work.   Be a strong team member.  You'll outlast them.

The Prince or Princess of Position
Their game:   either through longevity or title, they are the self-proclaimed experts.    To challenge their authority would be utter temerity.
Characteristics:   shallow, self-important authority - usually fueled by insecurity.  Key phrases include:  "I work harder than you."  "I know better than you."
How to beat them at their game:  remember this - people only have as much authority as you give them.   Don't be confrontational, but neither should you automatically genuflect. . .er, I mean, capitulate.   Present rational, well-reasoned work - in the end, you'll win.

The Bigger-Than-Life Buffoon
Their game:  throw everyone off guard by being louder, more contentious and way more obnoxious than anyone else.    This way, one can get one's way because people simply don't want to be around you.
Characteristics:  big, over-the-top, exaggerated drama.
How to beat them at their game:  as much as you don't want to be around this individual, you need to be as long as this person is on the team.  Suck it up - usually you don't need to be around this person for a long time.  But try this - approach them with a tone that is entirely different than the persona they present - you'll be pleasantly surprised.

The Ever-So-Righteous
Their game:   they're right, you're wrong.
Characteristics:  they will stop at nothing to prove that they were right (even if they weren't) and they will spend endless hours looking at minutiae to try to find an error of yours.
How to beat them at their game:   understand that 1) being right is not all  it's cracked up to be - what's right today may very well be wrong tomorrow, 2) everyone (including you and they) make mistakes and that's reality, and 3) the religion of being right is really a very frail infrastructure.


Here is the very personal lesson I have learned after allowing myself to be sucker punched by the above types.     Do what you do best - play by the rules - and do great work.   At the end of the day - that's what truly matters. . .not only to your team, but more importantly, to your heart and soul.

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Brent Frerichs is the author of "Courageous Questions, Confident Leaders" available for tablets, e-readers and PCs on Amazon Kindle.